• Published 25th Jan 2012
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Lyra's Human - pjabrony



Yet another in the increasing Lyra-meets-with-a-human subgenre

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Chapter 4 - Exhibition

I’d been at Lyra’s home roughly a day and a half. The day before we had been so engrossed that I hadn’t been hungry at all. At one point she had served snacks, cupcakes and apple tarts. I hadn’t thought to ask at the time, but it might well be that they had come from Sweet Apple Acres or Sugar Cube Corner, and those weren’t just treats, they were pony history. But I was beginning to be hungry for something more substantive.

From in the kitchen Lyra called, “So, you want a hay cake or a smoothie?”

I hadn’t considered that diet would be a problem. I walked in after her.

“Hay isn’t good for humans to eat.”

“No hay? That’s fine, I’ve got plenty of grass stuff too.”

“Grass is no good either.”

“What, are you just some kind of picky eater?”

“It’s not me, Lyra. Any human would say the same thing.”

“So it is true. You guys aren’t vegetarians.”

This was an area I had not wanted to tread. Would Lyra hate me if I tried to explain that I’d eaten animals at home? But what she said next surprised me.

“Well, that’s just fine, because neither am I! I guess it ties in with me being so into humans, but I don’t tie myself down to hay and grass either.”

I felt like a hypocrite. I was about to try to defend my carnivorous nature, and yet it felt wrong to me for her to do the same. Surely sweet little Lyra could never slaughter anything for food! But she went on.

“Nope, I’m a total beet-eater! It’s kind of a fringe group, and none of the others do it because of humans, but we think that root vegetables are more nutritious than hay or grass. Regular vegetarian ponies think it’s weird, but I’m used to that!”

Beets versus grass, that’s what passed for controversy in Equestria. I decided I’d stay mum about my own eating habits for now. If I could use her choice as a way to explain mine, I would, but not at that moment.

“I have a garden plot out back with beets, would you like to see?” she asked.

“Sure.”

She opened the back door and we stepped out into the yard. There was indeed a plot with rows of flowery leaves and a sweet scent emanating from them. I walked in between some of the rows.

“They look pretty good and tasty. You’ve worked hard on them, I can tell”

“Yeah, tilling and hoeing and watering are fine, but harvesting’s the worst. On harvest day I strain myself so much that my horn is sore at the end. This section is ready for this week, but I’ve been putting it off because it’s just so much work.”

I kneeled by the section she had pointed a hoof to, grabbed the nearest plant with both my hands, and yanked as hard as I could. The round roots popped out, dirt going all over the place.

“Have you got something to keep these in?” I said.

I saw her look of wide-eyed fascination at seeing me use my hands quickly turn into something more, a look of gratitude. She floated over a wicker basket and I threw the beet into it, then grabbed for the next one, and worked my way down the row.

She followed after, keeping the basket low for me to reach, and the work went quickly. There was a gentle breeze and the sun was shining. From down the road we heard some colts and fillies laughing and playing. This sound seemed to shake Lyra out of her reverie.

“Oh, what are we doing?! Get back inside!”

She galloped behind me and started shoving me in the back with her head. The basket settled gently in the soil and, prodded by her I hustled back in the house. She ran in a circle pointing her horn at the windows, and curtains slammed themselves shut.

She was frazzled. “You can’t be outside! What if somepony sees us? Sees you, I mean!”

“Did you mean to keep me hidden as long as I’m here?”

“I didn’t mean to keep you at all, just get information. I. . . I didn’t know that you’d like it here or want to stay!”

“All right. But I do like it here.”

“And I like having you here. So we’ll have to figure out some way to let other ponies know eventually. But not by just having somepony walk by and be shocked.”

“You’re right, I suppose. I thought that being in Equestria would be all upside, but if ponies are afraid of me, we’ll have to work on fixing that. Anyway, forget the beets for now. I can eat them instead of grass or hay, but they’re not my favorite. Maybe I’ll show you some other roots you can plant that are good. But for right now, let’s see what we can do with fruits and nuts. You have nuts, right?”

She nodded, but as I said that I had an idea.

“In fact, maybe I can show you some recipes I use at home, you might like them!”

I was a halfway-decent cook back on Earth, the sort who watched cooking shows on TV and spent money on fancy kitchen gadgets, and one of my staple dishes had popped into my head as something that I could both enjoy here and share with my friend.

“Oh! I’d like that! No animals in it, right?”

So she did know. Well, at least I didn’t have to explain.

“Definitely. Well, eggs are ok, right? I mean, I know that some ponies raise chickens and that’s the only reason I can think of that you would.”

“Yeah, we eat eggs.”

“Good, and they have protein, and nuts like I said. Do you have walnuts here in Ponyville?”

“Sure, we can get those.”

“Great, let’s make a list!”

She floated over another quill and paper. Watching it never got old. I picked them out of the air, and watched her reaction. Handwork never got old for her either.

“Now, what about raisins? Can we get those?”

Confusion came over her face. “What are raisins?”

“No raisins, ok. How about grapes?”

“Those we’ve got.”

“Great, get some extra and I’ll show you what raisins are in a few weeks. Now, here’s a tough one for you. Mayonnaise?”

“Don’t know what that is either”

“OK, you don’t have that. How about vinegar?”

“Now you’re just making things up!”

“I am not. I’m trying my best to improvise.” We were both smiling like co-conspirators at this point, and any worries about being caught had melted away. “We can get oils, like olive or sunflower?”

“I’ve got oil in the larder.”

“Great, then I think we can do this. I know you’ve got lemons and apples and celery stalks in town. They were in some of the songs that you said I stole.” I added them to the list. “Ok, let’s go shopping!”

“Oh! Um. . . shopping means outside.”

Right. I’d forgot.

“Yeah, Ok. We’ll make do with whatever food you’ve got.”

“That’s silly, my little human. You wait here and I’ll go get all this stuff.” The list glowed and flew away from my hands as she trotted out the door. “See you soon!” she called back.

That was the heart of her compassion. She was going to leave me alone in her house, an alien who, for all she knew, ate ponies like her, to go out and get food for me. I wondered if all the ponies were that nice, or just her. And I hoped to myself that, if given the opportunity, I could show such character.

End note: There is a feed for horses made of beet pulp, but it is from the sugar beet, not the table beet that you get in stores, and it's just the pulp, not the root. Still, Equestrian ponies are not horses, and I felt it justifiable artistic license to say that some ponies eat the table beets.

See my Fimfiction blog for more notes on writing.