Chapter Eleven: Things Set Straight (Part I)
‘Ed. They’re all staring at me.’
“Storm. I don’t care.”
‘Ed. Please care. You know I don’t like being stared at.’
I could just imagine his eyes rolling. “Get over yourself.”
‘Prick.’
The steps of both my own, the Princesses, and their small regiment of guards flanking them resounded off the walls of the Castle as we walked. Placed along the route, a mixture of both sentries and servants stood motionless, staring at me with every fibre of their being.
Even being as old as I am, sentients just standing there with vacant gazes creeped me out.
“Where’s this ‘Tea Room’ of yours again?” I asked mutedly, glancing back towards the solar diarchy. Ever since we left the dank system of caverns that made up their Dungeon, they had been conversing quietly with one another and some high-ranking officers. Physically, their words didn’t reach me, but I could tell from body language alone that it was about me. Obviously.
Celestia made a vague gesture in-between steps. A move that defied normal biological limits, yet was done with ease. Fascinating. “It will only be a short while yet. A few more turns, and we’ll arrive.” She glanced over towards her sister. “Accompany our guest. I should go ahead and inform the Element Bearers.”
“Of course, Sister,” Luna stated with a nod. We all watched as Celestia began to canter swiftly down the corridor and made a left. I stared emptily after her. When Ed had briefed me on the deal he had made to ensure my survival, I was initially against it. I was a victim, of sorts; same as them. Why should I be forced to burden the punishment? But eventually Ed won out, if only using the reasoning that the Equestrians (at that moment) were my greatest chance for survival.
And survival is always my top priority.
As her clops echoed away, I felt a slight magical presence tugging at me. Sending a look behind me, I realized it was Luna sending magical currents towards me (if the dim emissions radiating from her horn weren’t evidence enough). A few moments passed before I then realized something else; the magicks she was projecting weren’t meant to stop me, particularly. No... she was judging my ability to sense active magic.
And judging by the quickly-subdued expression of surprise on her face, she hadn’t been expecting me to detect such a slight amount. “Did you need me for something?” I asked.
Luna thought for a moment as she picked up her pace to take point, before nodding. “Yes. I want to explain some limits on your authority involving the training of our Guard. If you are to serve the sentence we have given, you must remain in an appropriate realm of control.”
We soon walked past the corner Celestia cantered down. I simply rolled my eyes. ‘Ah, of course. Got to take the long way around to give herself time to make an example of me in front of her guards. Not even surprised.’
I shrugged calmly, putting the thought behind me. “Very well. Do not forget though that, in the end, whatever parameters you give me will be used to the full extent, and potentially over it (should I need to).” I stopped her rebuttal before it could even begin. “I had told you my first stipulation was to be never undermined during my time as your guard’s Trainer. That means exceeding whatever bounds you create, if I have to.”
A grunt left one of the nameless guards, but went unnoticed as Luna gave a reluctant tilt of her head. “While that may be the case, we still decide the length of your sentence based on how we view your success.” Soldiers behind me no doubt smirked smugly at what they probably perceived as Luna putting me in my place, but in actuality she was still far from that.
Maybe she didn’t understand the kindness I was providing. At that moment, I could have Blinked through a wall before the repair spell activated and had fled the Castle without any resistance. I would have become a fugitive of the country (most likely), but at bare minimum I could have then sought out the supposed Minotaurs and hid in their territory. Instead, I allowed myself to not only be captured, but agreed to train their Guard.
For fucking free, might I add.
Moments passed in silence as we made a left two corridors down from our original mark, and for a while I believed that she dropped the matter before she spoke again. “Given the peculiar nature of this situation, it is difficult to place such a black-and-white limitation on your ability to mold the Royal Guard. As such, we can only closely monitor your actions and advise you on when you are overstepping your task.”
“And by ‘advise’, you mean…?” I shot her a quisitive look.
“We will overlook each session of training, and afterwards (as you give your report on the results) we will provide any advice and/or critique.” Another turn was made as I thought it over. All in all, it was a reasonable asking; yet at the same time…
“Critique,” I deadpanned.
“Yes.”
“On my training.”
Luna’s tone lost some of its professionalism in turn of confusion. “That’s correct.”
“Of the guards that had poor training, and couldn’t stop (or at bare minimum, sufficiently slow down) a lone intruder.”
Annoyance crept into her voice, and well as some bothered mutterings from behind. “Your point is...?”
“You're going to critique a new training style you’ve never seen before, that is being taught to your guards by an alien whose experience with war outmatches yours?” Luna stopped in her tracks, blinking as I punched a hole in her logic. I merely smirked and continued on my merry way past her.
“That’s three for me, Your Highness,” I called back to her. “Better work harder to catch up.” I took the next left corner and found myself facing a deserted hallway. Identical doors lined each side with no labels to indicate what they were hiding.
I turned back to Luna, only to find her staring back at me. Smugly.
“Oh, shove it,” I grumbled reflexively, watching with disinterest as the accompanying guards blanched in anger at such language being directed towards their ruler. However, Luna’s only response to my comment was a light whimsical giggle (whether genuine or not was irrelevant), which in turn caused a slight smirk to appear on my face. Giggling meant that relations were improving, or at least civility was not lost.
Wordlessly, we folded back into our small entourage and continued down the hallway. As we proceeded down the tiled path, my eyes couldn’t help but wander around the splendor of the Equestrian architects.
The marble that made up the exposed area of the floors and walls lacked any sign of tool markings. It was almost as though the marble had formed naturally as such. And, unlike other castles I had been in over the years, it was incredibly well lit. Glowing crystal light fixtures were spaced evenly between the
doors, doing away with most visible shadows. ‘No wonder their soldiers are so shoddy; they focused all their damn attention on training masons and designers.’
“Tell me: what do you have planned for our soldiers?” Luna asked. The taste in the air shifted as it was marred by the curiosity of the officers in the rear guard. “I am most curious.”
My mind conjured a potential answer. Given the simplicity of the guards’ tactics and combat prowess, starting at any point in any disciplinary system would work. Something was better than nothing, and all that.
But I had to keep in mind their advances in other fields. Few civilizations survived my technological introductions. Not to mention if I was to give the Equestrians too great of a military education, they could potentially upset the Scales and gain an advantage over other sentient races.
Well... more of an advantage apart from Equestria having rulers that run the bloody Sun and Moon.
“I will start with basic hand-to-hand (or in this case, hoof-to-hoof) combat,” I stated simply, keeping my peripherals focused on the reactions of the royal backing. “Once they are able to dispatch opponents using their own bodies as weapons, I would then proceed towards the honing of each particular races’ skills; Unicorns would gain some defensive and offensive knowledge in spell casting, Pegasi would improve their aerial abilities, and Earth Ponies would be instructed in weapon mastery with items like the spear and shield. Nothing too hard.”
Luna nodded, and acceptance revealed itself on several of the guards’ faces. “That sounds appropriate.” Yet both of us knew that the phrase was a formality. An attempt to keep the illusion alive in the eyes of the Guard that a rage-induced prisoner did not have a say in a matter that their Princess couldn’t overrule.
I guess in a way, it was an unfortunate situation for us both.
Abruptly, our little party stopped. Standing towards our right was a gilded door that had significantly more designs and royal influence than the other ones that dotted the halls we’d just traversed. I had arrived; and beyond the door was another hurdle in my potential diplomatic survival.
“The Element Bearers wait for you,” Luna said after we stood there for a few moments. How we had arrived to the door the long way without turning that often was a mystery. “At their request; neither myself, my Sister, nor any royal staff will disrupt their meeting with you and them. Enter.”
Her gruff order harmlessly rolled off of me as I pondered the implications that were set. Perhaps the Elements did not hold as much of a grudge as I had originally presumed? If they held enough trust in my true being that they refused any military personnel from even standing guard, then perhaps things could run smoothly.
At the same time, it could’ve just as easily be a ploy for them to lay into me. In the end, I still walked through the door (without knocking, because that is something only an egotistical bastard like myself would do) and made my presence known to the occupants within.
I was disappointedly met with considerably less fanfare than I was hoping for.
The room itself was nothing to sneeze at. Pleasant yet exotic wallpaper adorned the walls, giving a spacey feel that truly didn’t exist. It was generally empty, save for the chandelier hanging from the ceiling, a distant cabinet filled with fine china, and a round table fitted with luxurious cushions as seats. And in those seats, six pairs of eyes watched me-
‘Wait... only six? Where’s the blue one?’
A quick shift of movement outside one of the windows caught my attention in the corner of my sight. Reaching out briefly with my senses, the form of the Pegasus was apparent outside. An amused grin threatened to appear on my face. ‘So, she’s watching from outside, eh? Guess they didn’t want her to potentially cause problems, and she refused to simply leave.’
Realizing that both me and the gathered Ponies had just been motionless for the past ten seconds, with zero tries for conversation being started, I made the first go. Giving a sincerely humble tilt of my head, I addressed them. “Ponies One through Seven.” I glanced at their accompanying guards. “Upside down brooms.” The guards were not amused. I did hear Luna try her best to conceal a snort though as they promptly marched out and shut the door behind them.
“Storm,” came the reply. Twilight spoke the word as though it was nearly foreign to her, yet still tinged with awe. I suppose one could say I had that effect on bitches. In the back of my head, Ed gave a groan.
I gave a smile towards the far end of the table, my eyes glazing over the two particular Unicorns. Out of the company sitting there before me, both of them seemed the most welcoming (which was surprising, because even the pink one didn’t seem as bubbly as her usual self). “Ah. Ms. Lyra and Ms... erm, Sparks, was it?” I mused quietly to myself: ‘Remember kids, acting ignorant can give more advantages than one would presume.’
“You’re a loon, Storm,” Ed muttered in the back of my head. I couldn’t help but agree.
‘Sparks’ threw an annoyed look at her compatriot, who only offered a sheepish smile. Turning back to me with a grin, she shook her head. “No no. That’s only a nickname. My name is Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of the Element of Magic and protégé to Princess Celestia-”
The words died on her lips. It had been pure reflex; a subconscious thing she must’ve done a thousand times when she introduced herself. She had not meant to bring it up again, and her eyes betrayed the fear of my response. But I showed nothing less of an amused snort. “I do believe in our situation, we’re well aware of that.”
Twilight gave an awkward nod. My eyes examined each Pony briefly, watching as they tried their best to restrict eye-contact with me. I wasn’t the only one to notice the shifting, because Lyra motioned to a single unoccupied cushion in front of me. “Please, sit. We have things we need to discuss.”
“Yes, quite.” Promptly sitting down, I crossed my legs and settled in. The table itself went to about my bellybutton, which really screwed with my head. I hadn’t had to deal with such small furnishings in a very long time. Incredibly jarring, without a shadow of doubt. “Where would you like to begin?”
Fluttershy let out a question before anyone else could. “How are you feeling?”
There it was again; another sign of compassion. Did the Ponies seriously understand my plight, and that what had happened in the past was out of my control? If that was the case, then there would be hope yet of resolving any probable issues later on. “I am doing well, thank you.” Glancing across the table, I made a query of my own. “And how are all of you?”
“About as well as we can be in this situation, darling...” Rarity murmured. The others nodded in agreement with her. “You must pardon us, but this is a very peculiar and (quite frankly) frightening position we’re in.”
“‘Frightening?’”
With the faltering of the Unicorn, Twilight stepped in. “When we arrived at Canterlot, we...” The pause of her swallowing her fear didn’t go unnoticed by me. “We saw the result of your rampage through the courtyard. And, of course, the Throne Room...”
“Ah.” If the feeling of ease and neutral emotion was in the room before, it certainly wasn’t there after that statement. In a rush, the Editor played back the memories again; ones I had been reviewing over and over in my suspended Stasis. I had such an unquenchable thirst for blood during that time. Whatever curse had been strong enough to not only affect me, but to that degree, had to have been an incantation I hoped never reached mortal hands.
If it wasn’t already cast from mortal hands.
“I am not entirely sure if you have been made aware,” I started. “But I had no control over myself nor my actions during that... event. Nevertheless, that is no excuse and I apologize for my behavior.”
Rarity waved off my apology, and gave a nod. “Fret not, the Princesses and your Spirit Guardian explained it all for you already. They stated that you were under some type of curse?” I nodded in kind. Everypony in the room shared a look with one another. “We see...”
More seconds passed, and in the corner of my vision I spotted the blue Pegasus flapping openly in front of the window. Could she even hear the conversation? “Princess Celestia had also informed us just a few minutes ago that you will now be instructing the Royal Guard, correct?”
This was becoming increasingly unsettling. The other Ponies weren’t talking, and they continuously shared glances with one another. Something was running through all of their heads, and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what it was unless I peered into their minds. But I figured that would be an insult to them, even if I had done it to the Princesses several minutes prior. Nevertheless, I answered the question set before me. “I believe it is an appropriate repentance for the crimes I have committed, is it not?”
Suddenly, all of their mouths sprung open in shock. Twilight shook her head. “Wait. What do you mean by ‘repentance’? Celestia told us that you were doing it as a sign of good faith, and of your own volition!”
I cocked an eyebrow, as usual. “Not necessarily. In a sense, they sort of guilt-tripped me into believing that I needed to pay for my actions. So we settled on the terms of me giving ‘Warfare 101’ lessons to soldiers.” I offered a weak and complacent shrug. “In all frankness, I suppose I could’ve easily dodged such a punishment, but I guess improving my image is kinda needed.”
“That don’t sound too fair if you ask me,” Applejack retorted. She tilted her hat (which confused me since we were indoors) and tapped the table lightly. “You had no control over yourself. You shouldn’t have to be forced into working for the Princesses, ‘specially since whatever spell you used done fixed everything that happened.”
“Speaking of which, we are extremely interested as to how you performed such a spell!” Lyra stated in fascination. “Not even the heads of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns could probably have pulled off such a feat. Earthlings must be fantastic wielders of magic.”
I uneasily tilted my hand back and forth. “Some are, some aren’t.” My hand paused its movement. “Wait, did you refer to me as an ‘Earthling?’”
“Uh, yes... I’m sorry, Storm. Did that offend you?”
“The term is ‘Humans,” I corrected with a shake of my head. “Not ‘Earthling.’ I was hoping Celestia would’ve filled you in on that, but apparently not.”
Lyra mouthed the word to herself, her lips awkwardly adapting the name to the face. As she worked through her syntax, Twilight did a slight wave of her hoof to draw my attention. “Well, it seems obvious to us that you are far from some sort of monster. As a whole, I think we can all agree that you should not be held accountable for your previous actions, right?”
The others nodded and voiced their approvals to the declaration. I let out a haggard sigh under my breath. ‘That could’ve gone so much worse, Ed.’
“Lucky for you it didn’t, eh?”
‘Lucky, lucky me...’
A feminine voice cleared her throat, bringing an abrupt silence to the room. “Regardless, Mr. Storm has kindly agreed to our terms, for which we are most appreciative.”
The other Ponies (even the rainbow-maned one hovering outside) snapped their heads around the room in surprise and confusion. “Princess Celestia?”
“I was wondering when they’d notice you,” I commented lazily. Peering over my shoulder, I addressed the currently cloaked Princess further with amusement. “Decided the audio rune you planted was insufficient, and you needed to eavesdrop with your own two ears?”
Celestia’s face didn’t waver an inch as she became visible. “What rune...?” was the whisper I heard behind me. Glancing back over to Twilight, I merely pointed to one of the corners of the ceiling. There, barely perceptible was a faded marking. One that I quickly recognized to be a slight variation of a Far Hearing sign, and one that still had active arcane energy flowing through it.
“You have a sharp eye, Storm. And even sharper senses. When did you notice?”
The compliment flowed easily like water over me as I shrugged. “Saw something there when I first walked in, but didn’t recognize it until I sat down.” My eyes found themselves on the Princess once more. “As for you, I felt you slip in behind me as soon as I walked in. You hid your steps, but you got a bit too close to me. Made it too easy to detect.” Now Celestia’s face shifted, although it was more towards respect and admiration than annoyance at my critique. “I presume you need me if you had to break your statement of an uninterrupted meeting?”
Thankfully the sarcastic grin was apparent enough that she didn’t take personal insult to it. She merely shook her head softly with a smile. “Yes, actually. We have arranged quarters for you here in the Castle, as well as a meeting with the Circle in about ten minutes.”
Light gasps escaped the Ponies around the table. Obviously, this ‘Circle’ held some importance, but I had no inkling of an idea who they were. So, I decided to ask. Celestia took on a brief embarrassed expression, before it faded. “Right. You don’t know who they are. The Circle is composed of my most trusted Generals, and are led by my Military Adviser, Stalwart Wall. They wish to speak with you.”
“I’m sure they do.” Standing up from my comfortable position, I tilted my head in respect towards the Ponies. “Business calls, it seems. Will you still be here in the city?”
They looked to one another, before finally focusing on Twilight. Realizing that her friends silently decreed that she make the decision, she gave a nod. “We will try to stay for a few more days, but soon we will have to return to Ponyville for a time to deal with our own affairs.”
I gave an understanding nod in kind. “In that case, I hope to see you all again before your departure. Adieu.” Turning on a heel, I walked out the door without another word. Reaching the hallway, I stood and waited for Celestia. It took her only a few seconds, but she too soon exited the room, and beckoned me down the hall once more.
-WTIN-
Hours later, when the meetings with Celestia’s Circle had been completed, I was finally shown where my given quarters would be. The meeting was long, and dreadfully boring. Introductions, explanations, expectations; I couldn’t have gotten out of that room fast enough when it was all over.
The quarters were nicely furnished, in a plain sort of way, especially considering some of the decor I’d seen in other various rooms during my ‘tour’ of the castle. There was a dresser pressed into the corner with a decent sized vanity mirror atop it. The bed was large enough for at least three humans to lay side by side comfortably in (and the sheets looked extremely comfortable, despite their dull, off-white coloring). A single hazel door led to what I could only guess would be the bathroom, and a pair of heavy wooden doors were open on the far side of the room, leading to a small balcony that offered a rather breathtaking view of Canterlot city under twilight.
Upon my arrival, I did something I’ve been meaning to do since I first arrived in this universe. I collapsed face first onto the bed, and let out a hefty drawn-out sigh of contentment. Yup, the bed turned out to be that comfortable.
“You’re handling this well.”
I didn’t dignify my AI with a worded response. Instead, I gave him a grunt of mock effort as my body sunk deeper into the mattress.
“And he’s down for the count, ladies and gentlemen!” Ed continued on, uncaring for the aches in my back muscles. Fun fact: even in a colorful world full of magic talking horses, dungeons were uncomfortable. I had a very strong suspicion that I would never get the new kink in my neck out.
Ironically, my wrists (which I was hung from with iron for over eight days) were perfectly fine. Bastards. “You know, can I just point out that you’ve been one hell of a stick in the mud since we arrived here?”
“Subtle,” I mumbled into the comforter of my bed, not even trying to conceal the heavy sarcasm in my tone. “Don’t even try to beat around the bush. Why bother?” A blue light flashed to life just on the edge of my vision, so I naturally turned my head so I wouldn’t have to look at Ed’s projected image. Unfortunately for me, he just shifted the projection to be in front of my eyes.
“Look. I know that I’m not usually one to judge.” A snort of derision escaped me. “But don’t you think at least trying to have a good time while we’re here might make all of this a bit more bearable? If not for you, think about me.”
“Were it so easy.” I let out a yawn. “I really don’t want to train their armies, Ed. And besides; we’re here for purely business purposes. Hell, we only arrived here out of a fluke. And now we’re forced to stay based on a situation we can’t fix immediately. Of fucking course I’m not the cheeriest individual right now, because this isn’t a vaca.”
“In all technicality, you’re training the lead military instructors,” he pointed out. “So they can train the other instructors who will be training the armies.”
I dismissed his statement with a wave of my hand, distorting his projected image briefly in the process. “Semantics. The point is, Ed, that I don’t want to do it. End of story.” I rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. “If it weren’t for the fact that we can’t make a dimensional jump out of here, I wouldn’t even bother with it. We’d be on the first warp out to Coruscant or Horizon if we could.”
“Not even to finish making amends?” Ed raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t your father raise you to have a bit more honour than that?” I let out a groan. I hated when Ed used that kind of tripe about my family against me. Mostly because he knew it still held sway with me.
“You sound like my mother. As usual.” A sigh escaped me. “But you’re right. Of all the bloody things... I just don’t know why I need to bother training their instructors. Why did it have to be military instruction?”
“The ‘amends’ thing. We literally just had this conversation.”
“That’s not what I meant, you shitty excuse for a light-bulb,” I snapped while he merely cracked a smile. “What I mean is that there literally has not been a war in this universe for millenniums, apparently. And there has never been any massive killing sprees. Ever. No genocides, no annihilation of civilizations; only the occasional uprising and scuffle.
“They don’t even have weaponry, really!” I interrupted before Ed could stop me. “All that anything has ever used on this planet ever, it seems, are weak Destruction spells, spears, staves, and their own body parts. For fuck’s sake, Equestria has deities that control solar bodies. What training could they possibly need from me that they don’t already get?”
“How about how to fight an Editor? Or a Manipulator?”
I rolled back onto my stomach, though I continued to ignore Ed’s presence some inches from my face. “No Manipulators left, remember? No other Editors (besides us) either. They all died out a while ago, unfortunately. And I’m not going to be attacking anytime soon.”
“Ah, right. Still, though. Says the guy who, barely a week ago, decided that it would be a good idea to attack the leaders of the entire nation because he threw a temper tantrum.”
“Oi!” My eyes locked onto the apparition. I’m sure he meant it teasingly, but it still hurt coming from him. “You know I had almost no control over myself during that. Don’t keep going on blaming me for things out of my power, Ed.”
A short pause filled the air between us. It was one of a certain kind of despair, in a sense. No sort of curse or mind altering device had afflicted me like that since... Christ, I couldn’t even remember for sure. To have it happen so suddenly was a humbling experience, and could only speak volumes about potential future scenarios.
Another sigh left me, though this one was tinged in apology. “Were you ever able to pinpoint the origin of that curse?”
Ed’s tone was thankfully forgiving. “Nope. The arcane signature is very heavily encrypted. Whoever constructed that spell knows their way around magic. To even decode the encryption would take me weeks, and that’s if the curse wasn’t laid so long ago that the signature suffered from decay.”
I dragged my hands over my face. “Wonderful...”
“Do you want me to continue investigating this?”
“I guess doing such would not be the worst of ideas,” I murmured behind my palms. “Make it a C-Grade priority, and just run it in the background. Better to be safe than sorry. If it’s as ancient as it seems, then maybe we don’t have to still worry about the caster.”
Ed’s form merely gave me a nod. “With luck, hopefully. I will do as you ask.”
A light smile appeared on my face for but a moment, before it vanished. “I guess I should find something to occupy me until the Castle starts serving dinner.”
“Have you considered having a quick wank or two?”
I cocked an eyebrow over at my A.I. “Why? You want to watch? Again?”
Hearty laughter rang in my head. “Nah, I wouldn’t be seeing anything new or exciting.”
“Pissant.” I muttered to myself as Ed’s projection faded away.
With a flick of my wrist (and some fancy-schmancy Editor magic), I summoned a portable television to my hands, along with a solar power generator to keep it running. Turning it on, the sights and sounds of a classic program from my home reality began to play.
“Sometimes you wanna go… where everybody knows your name! And they’re always glad you came!”
I stared at the television for a moment, the corner of my eye twitching in irritation. I just knew Ed was behind this. Mostly because I felt his snickering in my brain. With a snort, I banished the TV back to whichever storage dimension it came from and got to my feet.
“Alright! I get the message! I’m going to go exploring.”
“Good man. I’ll leave you to it and turn my attention to preparing the training course. Try not to spark another violent incident, okay? I may not be able to spring your ass out.” Ed’s never-ending wit always amused me, but sometimes it made me want to punch him in his holographic face.
“Yeah yeah...”
Cracking my back with a groan, I slowly trudged towards the door. As I reached for the door though, I realized that there was indeed no door knob, same as in Ponyville. In its place was a simple twist-mechanism for the lock. ‘Huh. I guess with hooves and mouths as the only viable options, knobs and handles are kinda irrelevant.’
However, one thing that grabbed my attention was yet another rune transcribed on the door. This one was hidden better than the Far Hearing rune that I had encountered during my meeting with the other Ponies, but its purpose of surveillance was still fairly obvious. With a slight surge of magical energy, I rubbed my thumb over the designs, smearing them with a smirk.
Unlocking my chamber’s door, I stepped out to four Royal Guards standing watch outside of my room. They all turned to face and regard me quietly. While my mind was riddled with confusion, I kept my composure as I exited. For a time, neither of us said anything to the other. Eventually, I simply started to walk down the hall.
The guards fell in-step with me.
“So, how many of you did I beat on my way into the castle the other night?” I said as nonchalantly as I could. I had no idea why I felt compelled to ask such a dickish question, but admittedly the escort was with me no more than a minute and was already getting on my nerves. Celestia had initially issued an interrogation against me, and when we’re supposed to be all buddy-buddy she gives me an ‘escort’?
Yeah, right. That’s smart. Totally not going against instilling trust between our two parties.
Especially since I was regarded with silent, and stoic expressions. A few more moments passed to give them the opportunity of a rebuttal, before I continued. “I guess it doesn’t matter. Soon, I’ll start instructing you, and you will be better because of-”
“None of us, specifically,” one of the pair to my right answered. “But you did cause my brother to break his wing when he fell down.”
“Ah,” was my response. What else was I supposed to say? ‘Sorry that I broke your brothers’ wing. But... uh, hey! At least it was only because I was under the influence of some unidentifiable force that drove me to violence. No hard feelings?’ Yeah. Because that would go over well.
As it turned out, no it did not. Because the thought left my lips regardless, and I was answered with a sharp glare by my company. One even rolled his eyes in obvious disbelief; if it wasn’t blatantly clear that no one aside from the Princesses and those girls believed that I had no control over myself, it sure as shit was then.
“You do realize that there are spells to set broken bones, yes? I could even heal him, if you’d let me. A repayment of sorts, to show that it was pure accident?” I was hopefully considering to myself that the sooner I made a good impression, the more likely guards would follow my instruction, and the sooner I’d be free from my parole.
“We have those too,” the same guard replied. “Accident or no, you’re still at fault.”
I shrugged. Though on the inside, I was unloading two silos worth of the middle finger. “Perhaps. Although if you’re not willing to accept the circumstance that I had no capability to fully contain the curses’ effects, then I suppose that is your failing. Nevertheless, I could still at least ensure that he would not have to suffer with the injury. At fault or no.”
“He’s already been patched up,” the guard stated briskly, leaving it at that.
“As you wish...” My eyes roamed around the other soldiers forming my escort. “Did I fuck up any of your friends, too?” No response met me (which was surprising; I was hoping for some reaction to my swear), so I figured that it was good enough. After a few seconds had passed with no dialogue, I stopped abruptly. My assigned guards followed suit. I stared both down the hall we had yet to traverse, and the one we had already navigated. “Where the hell are we?”
“Eastern Wing of the Castle. Residential Suites,” the only female guard, a Unicorn, answered. “Your suite in particular is one used more often by visiting dignitaries or ambassadors. You were walking toward the North Wing, where the libraries and Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns are located.”
“Ah, thank you.” A thought briefly crossed my mind, in which I decided it was best to voice. “Where is the Gardens from here? I had heard some talk about it, and admittedly I’m curious about it.”
“The Gardens are located on the Southeast Corner of the Castle Grounds,” the mare replied. “Follow us.” And with that, the Unicorn took point. I fell in behind her, as did the rest of my entourage. As we started to inevitably backtrack using another set of corridors, I couldn’t help but analyze who exactly this mare was.
Her armor proudly bore the rank of Lieutenant, which would explain how her leadership showed amongst the Privates that surrounded me. She definitely shared the build of other Unicorns I had glanced at, though her gray-tinted form was a bit more bulkier (no doubt a result of her minimal training). Hell, with the silver helmet covering up the hair, the only way to distinguish her visually from a guy was her feminine blue eyes. Though, I could afford if the gruff pseudo-aristocratic accent she had going for her said ‘sayonara’ and beat it.
Guess it couldn’t be helped, living in their nation’s capital and all...
“May I ask for your name, Lt.?”
The lass offered a look of surprise towards me. Whether it was due to my curiosity, or me calling on her rank without it being stated previously; I’m not entirely sure. “It’s Lieutenant Emerald Mist, sir.” A questioning glint flared in her eyes as we walked. I took the hint and got side-to-side for easier conversation. “How did you pick out my rank so quickly?”
“I’ve served many armies for a very long time, Mist.”
She furrowed her brows slightly at that. I’m sure she was confused or suspicious about my statement, given my young appearance and my relative ease on the matter. “Oh? What rank were you, if I may ask?”
A ghost of a smile flashed. “Depends on what military branch you’re referring to, I guess. Mostly, though; I was a General. Four stars, usually.”
For a moment, I thought Mist and her fellow guards were going to knock themselves unconscious. Because the instant I let those words leave my lips, they saluted so fast they nearly left a mark, probably. Apparently, these guards didn’t get the memo that the alien that would be leading their instruction was a General several times over. “S-sir! Forgive me; I was completely ignorant of your rank.”
I waved off the Private from before who accused me of injuring his brother. “Please, there is no need to treat me with that degree of respect.” When no one lowered their hoofs, I simply let out a tired sigh. “At ease, troops.”
In one quick motion, down their hoofs went. I briefly pondered if Generals from other races got the same respect in the presence of the Ponies. Probably not.
“Look...” I trailed off for a moment, more because I wasn’t fully sure what to say than anything. “While I may have served as a General for many armies in the past, that doesn’t mean I’ve served your army as such. You should not feel obligated to suddenly bathe me in high standards, especially when I have done nothing to prove my ability to any of you.” My eyes investigated their own. “If after my instruction you deem that I am deserving of such respect, then by all means do such; I shall not stop you. But not before.”
Now they seemed really confused. But on the plus side, the air that had been following us for the past ten minutes was less tense. They gave me reluctant nods, and continued escorting me. With any luck or hope, word would spread through the barracks, and overall guards would be less inclined to buck me given the opportunity.
Maybe...
Eventually, our group passed through a set of glass doors to the Gardens. Hedges a foot higher than even I sat scattered about, forming a natural encasement of the area. With only one path to take, I re-assumed point in order to explore. The guards followed right behind me.
As I took in the scenery, my eyes quickly skimmed several statues strewn about one courtyard. Most were relatively uninteresting; a Pony without wings or horn standing upright against a flag wearing a cape, another wingless and hornless Pony closely resembling depictions of Cupid, a draconequus...
‘Wait a tic.’
Approaching the statue, I silently motioned to the stone figure. Emerald picked up on this. “Ah. This is Discord. The Spirit of Disharmony.” My eyes took in the astonished expression on his face. I hadn’t encountered so much as a mention of a draconequus in many years. Seeing one again, even if it was just a fake bust, was interesting.
Suddenly, I felt something. A disturbance. Something tugging at my subconscious, thought kept away by Editor firewalls guarding my mind. I rose a hand to stop whatever further explanation Emerald may have started. The feeling was being emitted from... the statue. A few moments passed, but the sensation did not cease. Was the statue enchanted, somehow? “Who exactly is Discord?”
“Well, as I said before, Discord is the Spirit of Disharmony. He broke free from his imprisonment some time ago, and sent Equestria into a state of Chaos. Thankfully, the current Bearers to the Elements of Harmony used the artifacts to petrify him once more.”
My eyes widened, but my tone remained neutral. “So, this is the actual Discord?”
“It is, yes.” A confused look was no doubt directed at the back of my head. “Why? Is there something wrong?”
The sensation had grown with intensity since the information became known. From the feeling of the prodding, it wasn’t threatening nor intrusive. Nevertheless, I did not allow the being access. I had no cause or reason to communicate with him. Eventually, after some time, the lurking presence on the outskirts of my mind faded entirely. ‘I wonder if it was this one that was responsible for that curse...?’
Shaking my head, I turned on a heel. “No; just curious, was all.” Glancing up at the sinking sun, I gave a nod. “I think I am ready for Dinner. If you guards could guide me there?” With nods, they marched off once more, with me in tow. Before we entered the Castle once more, I sent a single thought out towards the imprisoned being.
“And I thought I was ugly, mate.”
I imagined the twisted form laughing. At least, I thought I imagined it.
A faint knocking on her door drew Celestia’s attention from the stack of reports laying on the rug beside her. “Come in.” She rose to her hooves, arching her back in the process.
The door to her chambers creaked open, offering the Princess a brief glimpse of the Pegasus guard stationed just outside. However, the guard quickly vanished as Luna stepped through the doorway and sealed it shut behind her.
“Luna.” Celestia gave her sister a warm smile. “I wasn’t expecting to see you so close to dinner time.”
“Nor was I planning on visiting.” Luna’s eyes wandered absentmindedly around the room as she spoke. “But I find my mind is plagued with anticipation.” Celestia’s smile faded into a frown. The way her sister had said ‘anticipation’ had her concerned.
“Luna, there is nothing to worry over.” Celestia kept her voice as gentle as possible. She wasn’t about to tip her sister off and reveal that she was feeling the same anticipation. “Storm has agreed to train our forces. It’s been far too long since the Royal Guard has actually functioned as a guard, and not merely a decoration. Storm single-handedly proved that we might not be as safe as we used to.”
Luna snorted. “As if any other leaders on this planet would lead an attack against you and I. Need I remind you, sister, that we control the sun and moon? If they were to overthrow you and I, even kill us, then half the world would burn and the other half would freeze.” Luna strode to the large window overlooking the valleys below Canterlot Mountain. “There haven’t even been wars since you and I took the throne. None native to this world more powerful than you and I.”
“Sombra nearly was,” Celestia reminded her. “It required both of us at the height of our power to stop him.”
“But we succeeded!” Luna brought a hoof down. “Even then, we did not need our guards to fight our battle for us!”
“And Discord?” Celestia ignored her sister and continued on. “When he broke out earlier this year, you and I couldn’t stop him.”
“But Twilight Sparkle and her friends did,” the Princess of the Moon countered. “Proving again that the Elements of Harmony are all it takes to keep him locked away.”
Celestia grimaced. “And who was it, Luna, that first guided you and I to the Tree of Harmony, where the Elements were gifted to us?”
Luna opened her mouth to speak, but stopped herself.
Celestia continued in the silence. “It was him. The one we do not speak of. The one with powers so very similar to Storm. The same one who convinced you to attempt a coup against our Kingdom. The one who led you to become Nightmare Moon.” Celestia stepped up to her sister’s side.
“That’s what you’re dreading, isn’t it?” She asked quietly. “You fear that Storm is just like him.”
“The similarities are too close for my tastes, even if Storm seems willing to repent for his crimes,” Luna admitted after a moment. She offered a glance towards her Sister, and grimaced in kind. “You see them too.” A nod was the only response. “Then why do you insist on giving Storm this chance?”
“Because if Storm can train our guards to fight someone like him, enough to buy us time or to potentially wound him... then we need not fear a shadow from our past.” Celestia’s voice was quiet barely a whisper. Luna’s gaze softened, realization dawning on her as she saw the fear in her sister’s eyes.
She drew her mouth into a tight line. “I understand, Celestia. But I will keep an eye on Storm nevertheless. I am not ready to trust him.” And with that Luna turned and left Celestia’s side. The Princess of the Sun could only nod in agreement in the silence following.
Clattering of plates was the only sound in the luxurious Dining Hall as we ate. The table was long, and grandiose. Fancy china littered with the remains of fruits, vegetables, and cheese lined the assembled seats.
Those invited to sit in them were faces both foreign and familiar; the seven Ponies I had originally met in Ponyville, Celestia, Luna, an admittedly bratty Unicorn (I was informed beforehand about ‘Prince Blueblood’), and several other Ponies (one of whom I recognized to be Celestia’s Military Adviser). Celestia and Luna were stationed at the ends of the table, with me residing in the ‘guest of honour’ spot to Celestia’s right.
Truly. It was such an honour.
Initially, there was some hostility directed towards me. Mostly coming from Prince Blueblood, with inept and idiotic attempts to issue the guards to remove the ‘animal’ from his presence. The expression on his face though as I sat in the seat of honour without objection was pretty priceless, though. Once it was explained to him (although, from my perspective, beating the details into him would have been much more effective), he generally reserved his unbridled disgust in passive-aggressive comments. I didn’t really expect anything less, and eventually he departed.
Good bloody riddance.
As we all had been sitting there in relative silence awaiting the arrival of the dessert course, a dozen pair of eyes gradually focused themselves onto me. It took me a while to realize it, but when I did finally put two and two together; well, honestly it creeped me out.
And, of course, the only response I could ever come up with was full of wit, and lacking of tact. “Why is everyone staring at me?” I calmly but deftly rose a reflective glass of champagne to examine myself. “Do I have something in my teeth?”
“No, it’s not that.”
My eyes flicked down some ways towards Twilight. “Is my hair unkempt?”
“It’s always unkempt,” Ed chimed in. I delivered a swift middle finger to him in the recesses of my mind.
“Not that either, darling. Well, any more than what we’ve seen of you.”
I offered a deadpanned expression in the direction of Rarity. “Then please, enlighten me: why the fuck is everyone staring at me like I’ve sprouted a second head?”
Celestia scrunched up her face at the profanity, but I couldn’t be bothered to retract it. I lost most of my tact a very long time ago, and swearing in front of royalty (or even Gods) no longer phased or concerned me. “Well, I think it’s just recently came to everyone’s attention, but... why do you sit like that?”
I cocked an eyebrow, and looked down. I was sitting like any normal human would; feet firmly planted on the ground, buttocks in the cushion, back straight. What was the problem? I glanced back up and shrugged. “I don’t see the problem with how I’m sitting.”
She shook her head in response. “It isn’t that there’s something wrong with it, but merely that it’s... interesting to see, I suppose.”
My brow remained raised. “Didn’t you say you had other bipedal diplomats that have stayed here?” I was answered with a nod. “Well, how do they sit then?”
“They sit with all four limbs on the chair itself,” Stalwart Wall stated. I blankly realized that so were the company sitting with me. Lyra, in her own separate niche, had attempted to once again assume my stance, but after a few moments forgo'd it in favour of her traditional way of sitting.
“Really?” It was more curious than surprised. “Even the Minotaurs?” Another nod. “Huh. Weird. Well, this is how my species sits. We’ve always sat like this.”
“Fascinating,” Rainbow Dash said with a yawn. “No! Seriously! Why are none of you asking the good questions?” The others shot her questioning looks. “What? You’ve seen what he can do. Like, how did you survive that fall into the Everfree? Nothing could survive that fall!”
As the focus became centered on me, Twilight tilted her head in thought. “Actually, there were some questions that me and the girls wanted to ask you...” Upon making eye-contact with me though, she shied away. “I mean, if you want to, of course. We wouldn’t want to annoy you with-”
“I almost didn’t.”
All of the Ponies stared at me in confusion. Twilight seemed the most confused of them all. “Uh... you almost didn’t what?”
“Survive that fall.” Glancing over at Rainbow Dash, I reclined lazily in my seat. “I only survived using a parachute to slow down my descend. Even then, I nearly broke several bones crashing into branches once I hit the canopy.”
“What is a ‘parachute?’” Lyra asked.
I could only quietly examine the Ponies before me. ‘They never figured out how to make a parachute?’
“Do realize that with the racial hierarchy, non-Pegasi probably have little to no reason to be so high up as to need parachuting technology,” Ed chimed in. I merely snorted in response.
Coming back to the outside realm, I did a brief explanation. “Essentially, a parachute is a large, square piece of cloth with rope running through the corners. It allows for gliding and safety from free-falling. To a degree.” My audience looked to one another in amazement and wonder. Apparently, no-one had thought of such a design.
“How about where you came from?” Applejack piped up. “You ain’t from around here, clearly. You must have someplace to call home.”
“Well, this is a two part answer.” A light yawn threatened to spill through, but I at least had some decency to cover my mouth with the crook of my elbow. I was so tired. A night’s rest was definitely needed. “I am originally from a planet called ‘Earth.’ To be more specific, my homeland was the ‘United States of America’; one of the strongest on that water-world, for sure.”
My eyes combed over the intrigued looks of interest focused on me. “But that was then, and I haven’t visited any dimension with a variation of Earth in quite some time. So I guess you could say that, at this very moment, I do not have a home.”
Incredulous and stunned expressions met me. “You have no home?” The question came from Luna, but what was more surprising was the tone. It sounded like pity, but not exactly. I had heard something from that group of Ponies from Ponyville talk about how the Lunar Princess had been exiled for one thousand years in the moon.
I wondered if perhaps she felt like we were in the same boat. But she had a home now, didn’t she? Maybe it wasn’t that. Maybe it was another sign of the supposed compassion that these equines held. Perhaps the most shocking thing instead was that it came from Luna.
Because, you know, she would probably like me to be executed. Or something to that effect.
“I am a wanderer, and the call of other Universes hail my name. It’s very hard to settle into one place for long. I do have realities that I have tremendous relations with, and they are always sanctums I could return to, should I need it.” I glanced down at the few tattered chunks of lettuce on my plate. Why couldn’t they spring me some meat? I know they are able to make it, those little sh-
“Wait.” All eyes moved towards Twilight, who was staring at me intensely. “‘Other Universes’? ‘Realities’? What do you mean by these?”
I face-palmed internally. Of course. They probably didn’t even have a multiverse theory. I silently prayed to the Fates that I wouldn’t destroy their minds before the end of the night. “Obviously, the Universe where your planet, the surrounding stars, and other solar bodies reside is not the same one as my Universe and its interpretation of space. Which of course means that there is no ‘one’ Universe. There are actually millions of them, all connected by Leylines.”
I heard Twilight quietly suck in a quick breath. Mostly everyone else (save for the Princesses and Lyra) merely cocked confused eyebrows in my general direction. Pinkie Pie was the first to say it. “What’s a ‘haymine’?”
My face scrunched up as I muttered the miscommunication to myself. “A Leyline,” I added extra emphasis to the word for Pinkie, “is a ethereal bond that holds two Universes together. Given a physical form, it’s like a spider web, almost.”
“And you said something about realities?” The nervous excitement in Twilight’s voice was palpable at that moment. I noticed Celestia looking on in amusement. “What do you mean by that?”
I idly scratched my head as a servant walked by with a slice of cake. It was offered to me, and I happily (but mostly greedily) accepted it. Preparing to dive into the food, I realized I nearly forgot the question. “From my experiences, there is an infinite number of realities to every Universe. Sometimes, the differences between them are radically varied, while others suffer from only a minute change.”
One of the Ponies, who I believed to be one of Celestia’s Advisers (probably Scientific if the get-up and gray mane was anything to go by), spoke up. “Are you saying that you’ve traversed different planes of reality?” I nodded as I chewed. It was simple vanilla. Still good though.
Light gasps sounded out from around me. The two Princesses were giving me befuddled looks alongside everyone else. My only response to their reactions was swallowing the bite of cake, and taking another. “You seem surprisingly... open with your answers,” Celestia commented.
I shrugged. “The answers to these questions so far cannot bite me in the ass later, so I see no reason not to satisfy some curiosity.” That may have been some bad phrasing, because then questions became burning in the eyes of my company. ‘Ah, fuck me...’
“Tired of Q&A already, Storm?”
‘I got tired of it after the first dozen times, Ed.’ The grumble of my thought in my mind was definitely tinged with regret and annoyance. But mostly annoyance.
After this, a series of asinine queries was thrown my way. Surprisingly, they were rather minor. What was my favourite color (again, still green), my favourite food (there was this parfait I had once that was to die for; almost literally, given the circumstance to obtain the recipe); things of that nature. Of course, with the lightweight questions dying away, more... personal ones arose.
“So, do you have any brothers or sisters?”
The question made my blood run cold. It reflected in my aura instantly, because the mood of the Hall froze in trepidation. I hadn’t been asked about my family in an incredibly long time, and having it brought back up...
Memories flashed across my vision. I was no longer sitting in a dining hall, but rather in the living room of my parents’ old home. I was consoling my little sister about her being bullied. Back when answers were simpler. Back when Life was simpler.
There was no Universal Editor then. No need to worry about Balancing the Scales. It was... so pleasant.
I almost wished it never changed.
Another memory overtook the previous. Now I stood at a funeral, honoring my father as he laid in his coffin. He had died honourably in action, serving the Miami Police Department as a Detective well. I shed no tears as he was laid to rest; young men should not cry, and my father would have wanted me to stay strong.
Flowing into the next, I was abruptly pulled into a hospital room, looking down upon a figure that could only belong to my mother-
As yet another memory threatened to arise and submerge me once more, the Editor quickly stepped in. Protocols became active, chemicals were released, and neuro-safeguards started to ignite. The visions soon faded, and once more I sat in the Dining Hall.
There was no sound. No voices. Nothing. Eventually, with a bit more harshness in my tone than I intended, I spoke. “If it’s all the same with you, I’d rather not talk about it.” Before anyone could say anything, I stood. Even after all of those years, the wounds of my lost family still lingered. “If you would kindly excuse me, I must retire. I should be as alert as possible to instruct your Guard tomorrow.” I gave a short, stiff bow, and walked out the Hall.
The solemn closing of the door reverberated through that room long after it was shut.
Awwwww yisssss! The plot develops further! I bet "he" is gonna show up.
Yes
*Follows and favs, logs back on 3 hours later*
A new update! YES!
Delicious..... This fiction is getting better and better.... How will the training go I wonder?
LET THERE BE EVEN MORE TOMORROW!
I absolutely love your story. Keep up the good work
when ever I come to look for updated storys this one is there! Always nice and when im having a bad day this is 1 good thing.
P.s I think I know who the bad guy is now :D
3883519 Lazy much?
3883947
Oh, sorry. I was trying to test comment notifications on the site, so I picked a random story and replied to myself. I'll delete the comment now
I'm going to point out that the constant use of parenthesis for whatever reason you're using them for is somewhat annoying. Most of the things you put in them are things that would be said in the sentence (and thus should be after a comma and ending the sentence if it's at the end). Anything else is typically a character's thought that you interject in to a sentence, which you shouldn't be doing. The sentence like I'm exampling below which is much more proper;
You can also put the apostrophes between thoughts like you normally do, of course.
This is how most authors do it, and it looks much better and clearly determines the meaning instead of leaving the reader to guess if the statement in parenthesis is a thought or statement that isn't as important, or even just something said quieter.
In that sentence's case, it can be used as a statement, as well, which would go pretty much as you'd think it would;
Another example;
Originally, the info in parenthesis was useless for the reader to know, really, but useful for the character Storm to know, since this is highly relevant to him. Surrounding it in parenthesis implies a thought, which keeps that information from him (disregarding that he can read thoughts, of course).
To wrap up and avoid confusion, parenthesis are perfectly useable in the below case, because they meet two conditions; it's not in a sentence, and it's used to describe a situation in a little more detail, or at least humor the reader.
Just my two cents on that little issue. I'm personally bothered by it, but not to the extent of not reading the story anymore. Keep up the good work, it seems to be fine so far in every other aspect.
through in a pov of the ponies for just when that question is asked and when he leaves. Would love to hear their thoughts xD
i like your explaination of the multiverse theory with the different realities mixed inbetween, very easy to understand (if you never heard of it before)
3883973
While use in conversations is rare, bracketed words do convey a slightly different meaning and would be spoken in a slightly different tone than the alternatives you have given. It is something said that the speaker does not mind if the listener hears or not, and I imagine it spoken slightly more quietly and a tiny bit deeper.
One way to think of it might be the opposite of italics (when used in speaking).
3884250 The use of parentheses instead of commas throws me off a little: I think of the words as mumbled to where they are barely heard. Some parts makes sense, though others seem like commas should be used, otherwise the sentence sounds weird....
Because hearing writing totally makes sense.
Great chapter! I think Steve was probably the one to turn Luna evil.
Seeing Twillight's face after having the idea of a Multiverse explained to her....priceless.
3884456
You're right that it is probably overused in this fic, but it's a stark contrast to the complete non-use in almost everything else I've read, despite it having a place.
And I don't think hearing writing is crazy. Else this wouldn't work on anyone:
fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2010/110/9/8/Good_News_Everyone_by_martynasx.jpg
3884545 DAMN YOU FARNSWORTH!!
Also. will there be any silly cameos of discord in this story by any chance??
Not even a "sorry for trying to restrain you and drug you when you'd done nothing wrong" from Lyra and Twilight? Do they even realize that little brainstorm of theirs was what set off the whole rampage to begin with? And they don't have mind control for an excuse.
3883973
Huh. You know what? I'll make a note of this. Personally, the only real reason why parenthesis have such a prominent role in my writing is because I think it's less jarring than having hundreds of commas. I thought it was a bit more varied, but you do bring up a valid point. I didn't even realize it annoyed some people until recently. I will attempt to incorporate them in their proper place in the future. Thank you.
Also your British is showing, you use bloody too much, and honor is spelled thusly.
STOP UPDATING SO QUICKLY I'M FALLING BEHIND!
loving this story dude
I see what you, accidentally (?), did there
First that is all
3885219
I have a solution for your parenthesis/comma thing. I often use em dashes in my writing. It works fairly well, and I've had no complaints about it. I tend to think that they are better alternatives for a ton of commas—which can get very confusing due to over uniformity, thus making everything seem similar in tone—and are more sightly than parenthesis. Also, they can be written straight into the story on here, unlike on some other sites.
Original: It was offered to me, and I happily (but mostly greedily) accepted it.
With em dash: It was offered to me, and I happily—but mostly greedily—accepted it.
Take it as you will; I hope it helps, and keep up the great work!
where have I seen this scenario before?
I swear I've seen this before... maybe on one of the chapters before you redid this
3888635
Aye. The chapter in general was kind of a revised rendition of what happened in the old version.
Great story so far
3884896
Not even a "sorry for brainwashing Pinkie, manipulating Mane6 with 'seeds' and unauthorized mind-reading"?
They even, IMHO.
3890443
1) Two wrongs don't make a right. They still went way too far and almost got their rulers killed.
2) That's known to us readers, not to them, so it has no influence on their decision-making. As far as they knew, he'd been a perfect (if quiet) guest when they decided to go with the magical equivalent of mindripping.
3) Minor cantrips and using brute force to hold someone down and force a potion in him are two very different things. Which they had no way of knowing would even work the same, btw. For all they knew it could have been lethal to humans.
3889044 I meant the comments page... It looked like I've seen it before in the format it is in
3896915
Considering the injuries that Storm sustained-- and taking into account that the killing had been in self-defense of not only his own person, but theirs as well-- it isn't a major stretch that Fluttershy would be willing to bring him to her cottage.
As for trust, well... Rainbow Dash clearly didn't (hence her snappy departure). She only left because Fluttershy used a brief bout of Stare to force her to submit to trusting in her judgement. And Fluttershy's judgement was that Storm wasn't a threat, and needed immediate medical attention.
If this doesn't make sense, I apologize. It is starting to get rather late where I'm at, so my thoughts may not be entirely coherent.
3885303
I quite like the British...
3926926
But the character is American, he says so.
3927089
Maybe he was born in a British family and attended a British school?
3927089
3927473
Actually, you can sorta blame Ed's presence for this. In case it isn't painfully obvious, Ed has British mannerisms. Taking into consideration Storm's age (which the exact isn't available for the public, but it's old); it isn't the farthest stretch that some of the A.I's vocabulary would seep into Storm's.
The Hawk has left its cage, and the soul is free.
Well, well, well... What is this tasteful little story that I've found? I found your story about 2-3 hours ago and have been reading nonstop. This is so awesome, I am genuinely sad I did not find it sooner. Aw, well. Liked, faved, and followed. Enjoy this "Stache". You've earned it!
Oh my dear god in the heavens, this story again. I was very surprised to see this in my favorites when i was surfing through the ones that had chapters i had not read (90 currently, as i have not been on in a while). I was further surprised when i saw that you have rewritten it, though i like the story before you rewritten it a little bit better. It still remains as at least the top 3 favorite stories on here of all time though and i am eagerly awaiting the next chapter. Have a fine day.
4146515
Really now? If you're willing to indulge me, and have the time, could you send me a PM about what/why you liked the previous version better? It could help significantly with planning down the line for the revised story arcs.
4150830 probably the gore...
Now this is the kind of guy I'd follow into battle.
Exactly how old is Storm?
5386660 I concur
5578976 Many millennia, if what has happened is anything to go by. Only in a certain way, though; he's lived many millennia across many universes, but his body is kept in a sort of temporal lock, so he doesn't age.
... how the hell did I not notice this before?
The names are changed, the occupations are somewhat changed, but... the adventure is still there, the agelesness, the "visiting"... the battle for "balance"...
This is straight-up Doctor Who. Storm is The Doctor, and that other guy is the Master - it's clear as day now. And the whole 'organization' or whatever it was, that's the Timelord race. It all clicks into place.
The clothes may've changed, but the core of the story is virtually identical - except now we have Ed instead of the TARDIS - and I'd argue the Elements could work pretty well as companions.
Though, I can't say I don't enjoy the idea of the Doctor unchained... ;]