Spike the Swagon
Several hours had passed before Spike was finally able to get away from Twilight. At first she’d wanted him to write Princess Celestia a letter, then she wanted him to dust the shelves, and after that she’d asked him to sweep the floor. It was when she was about to ask him to do something else that he reminded her that he had plans for the evening, and it was only then that she finally gave him a break.
“Alright, Spike,” she had said. “You can go. But you have to clean up when you get back, okay?”
Spike had agreed under the condition that he could stay out as long as he wanted to—which, in Twilight’s eyes, was apparently “be back by nine.” Either way, he was still looking forward to seeing Rarity, and also hearing Rainbow Dash—the ever boastful pegasus—thanking him for a job well done.
Should I go to Rainbow Dash or Rarity’s place first? Spike wondered as he stepped outside. Well… might as well see Rainbow first, so I can stay with Rarity for the rest of the day. ‘Business before pleasure,’ I guess.
Spike looked up into the sky, where not a single cloud was in sight. He glowered suddenly. “How am I supposed to know where Rainbow’s house is? It could be anywhere!”
He kicked the ground and let out an annoyed grunt. Then, an idea sparked in his mind. He licked one of his fingers and held it high in the air. A cold draft blew past it, at Spike’s right side. He smiled at his genius.
“Should be that way,” he said to no one in particular. Ponies gawked at him as he ran past, disbelief flashing through their eyes and disapproval in their stances. Spike took no notice of it and continued on his way.
When seconds turned into minutes and he was still searching for Rainbow Dash’s home, he started getting a little worried. But that worry became anxiety as the familiar town of Ponyville was replaced with open fields. He skidded to a stop when he realized that, if he continued any further, he’d end up in the Everfree Forest, in which he was certain Rainbow Dash didn’t live.
“What the heck? It should be here!” He huffed, directing his gaze upward. A shadow fell over him as a cloud blocked the sun. A huge cloud. He jumped when he saw that it was Rainbow’s home looming over him, as if it’d been there all along. It was one of the biggest, most elaborate houses Spike had ever seen—and that was definitely saying something considering he was from Canterlot. A rainbow befitting its owner could be seen from atop it, and not too far from Spike a rainbow waterfall crashed down onto the land.
Spike regained his cool with a precarious glance around, letting out a cough. “I totally knew that was there,” he said to himself, a nervous laugh following after. He cupped his claws around his mouth and shouted to the sky:
“Rainbow Dash! Are you up there?” No response. “Come on, Rainbow, I know you’re home!” No sign of life. “RAINBOW DASH!”
“What is it?! Somepony better be on their deathbed!” An annoyed Rainbow Dash poked her head out from her cloud home, glaring daggers down at the dragon below.
“Er…” Spike swallowed, having not expected a cranky Rainbow Dash to greet him. Her mane looked even more messy than usual, stray hairs sticking up in disarray. It was clear even to Spike that she’d been trying to get some sleep.
“Spike?” Her expression lost its bite and she straightened up. “What’re you doing here?”
“Um, you sort of told me to come?” he said sheepishly. Rainbow stared at him for a few seconds more, then flew down to meet him. When she landed, she made an attempt to smooth her mane out—which didn’t really work.
“When did I say that?” she mumbled almost to herself. Spike found it hard not to crack up at her when she was this out of it, but was able to keep to himself composed at the thought of getting smacked.
He cleared his throat. “You were outside of the library spying on Twilight when I walked right into you”—Rainbow’s eyes widened—”and Twilight almost saw, and then you wanted me to get her attention off you—”
“Okay, okay, I get it!” Her hooves had lifted up in defense. She let out a breath, the muscles in her shoulders relaxing as she let her forelegs drop back down. “You were saying something about an idea, and you made it sound like it was good. That’s why I wanted you to come see me.”
“Oh.” Spike blinked. “Well… I like Rarity and you like Twilight. Right?”
“I don’t see your point,” Rainbow Dash replied bluntly, her eyes narrowing.
Spike continued, “I’ve known Twilight for, like, my whole life, and you’re best friends with Rarity. Right?”
“Yeah…? Wait, you can’t seriously be saying—” Rainbow Dash’s eyes lit up with excitement, but Spike spoke right over her.
“That we could help each other out? Yes, yes I am,” he finished smugly, his chest sticking out with pride. Rainbow Dash was enthralled with the idea, a sudden bout of energy coursing through her. It took all her willpower to keep from taking flight.
Instead, she forced a nonchalant expression on her face. “Oh? I’d be down for that. Not that I need help or anything, but I can lend a helping hoof.”
Spike, on the other hand, didn’t try to hold back his happiness. He grinned widely and thrust his hand out. Rainbow couldn’t keep from smiling a little herself as she lifted a hoof.
The two shook on it.
“Great,” Spike said happily. “I’m actually just about to head to Rarity’s right now.”
Rainbow Dash frowned. “Really? What for?”
“To spend time with her, duh.” Spike let out a laugh, which was cut short when his friend tsked disapprovingly.
“Oh, Spike, you’ve got a lot to learn… How can you expect to get Rarity to fall for you like this?” She shook her head.
Spike’s eyes doubled in size. “What? Am I doing something wrong?”
Rainbow smiled. “You came to the right mare, Spike-ster. Heck, if she doesn’t fall head over hooves in love with you by tonight I’ll be surprised. You know what? Wait here, lemme go grab some stuff,” Rainbow said as she flew back up into her home.
Spike waited patiently for her to return, rocking back and forth on his heels. The sun was nearing the horizon, and that made him wonder if he was even going to have time to go to Rarity’s.
Spike watched Rainbow Dash as she landed in front of him, a devious smile playing on her lips. In her forelegs was a pile of some questionable articles of clothing.
“What’s that?” Spike asked at once, pointing a claw at them. Rainbow didn’t reply at first, opting to pull a baggy t-shirt from the pile. It seemed like it’d be a loose fit on the dragon, but not to the point where he’d be tripping on it.
Rainbow grinned. “When I was a filly, I had a reputation to uphold. I figured my old clothes might fit you, and what could be cooler than something I’ve worn? Here, let me help you get it on.”
Before Spike could protest, Rainbow had pulled the plain white shirt over his head. It reached all the way down to his knees.
“Next up, classy jeans.” She pushed them to his chest and made him put them on, which he did begrudgingly.
“Make sure to tuck the shirt in,” she reminded, then frowned as she assessed the dragon’s new look.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked as he tucked the shirt in. Rainbow nodded.
“Of course! As a filly, all the kids envied me and my sense of style. They thought I was so awesome none of them could find the courage in ‘em to talk to me.” Rainbow Dash hesitated before grasping an old tattered looking baseball cap. She stared at it for a long time before finally placing it on Spike’s head, making sure it was tilted just so. As a last touch, she made sure to put a couple of chains around his neck.
“...Make sure to take care of that hat. It’s really important to me, alright?” Rainbow commented quietly as she pulled away. It was weird hearing something like that coming from a pony like Rainbow Dash, but Spike nodded with a salute, which almost sent the hat off his head. The mare shook her head at him, causing him to shrink back in embarrassment.
After a while, she tapped a hoof against her chin. “Something’s missing.” Then, she hopped up and spread her wings. She fluttered just above the ground, her forelegs crossed over her chest.
“It’s your attitude,” she concluded. “You’ve gotta carry yourself confidently.”
Spike straightened his posture and rolled his shoulders back, trying to forget about what’d caused him to hunch over. It was hard with all those clothes weighing him down, but he managed. “Uh… how’s this?”
“Better,” Rainbow amended. “Alright, now you have to talk like you’re me. Girls like Rarity like a bad boy with confidence, not someone that does everything she wants when she wants it.”
“Hey!”
Rainbow ignored his outburst. “Give it a try,” she said instead. Spike frowned before beginning the facade.
“Oh, I didn’t see you there, Rarity.” His voice cracked when he tried to make it deep, causing his morale to falter. “Would you… er…”
“Make sure you don’t stutter, alright? That makes you seem less confident. You’re doing good so far, though.”
Spike cast out his reluctance and decided to give it his all. He let a smile take over his features as he mentioned a joke he’d heard a while ago. “Hey there, Rarity. I’m not trying to impress you or anything, but I don’t look both ways when I cross the road.”
“That’s actually not bad.” Rainbow chuckled in approval. “I think you’re ready.”
Spike beamed, hopping from foot to foot in excitement. The chains on his neck rattled at the movement. “Really? You think she’ll be impressed?”
“Remember who you’re talking to, Spike! Also… don’t do that. It’s not cool.”
It was around seven thirty when Spike finally stood outside the Carousel Boutique. He’d come across a couple of ponies on the way, who gave him strange looks. Pinkie in particular had praised him on his style before continuing her trot in the general direction of the library. Cheerilee had said hello, as usual, before doing a double-take, but Spike took that as a compliment—along with all the stares. He recalled Rainbow Dash telling him that, when she was a filly, ponies didn’t approach her because of how envious they were, and it made him giddy to think he looked that good. From the way this was going so far, Rarity was going to be his in no time!
He’d be surprised if she didn’t throw herself at him at the sight of his fresh attire.
Spike glanced to his right, where Rainbow stood hidden between the Carousel Boutique’s window and door. Even when Rarity opened the entrance, she would still be out of sight. Rainbow Dash nodded toward him, an encouraging smile on her face.
The dragon looked ahead, new determination flashing in his eyes. He raised a fist up to knock and did so without hesitation.
Like before, he heard Rarity’s beautiful voice from within, except this time it was not in song; instead, it was the tone she used in everyday conversation. Within a few seconds, the door opened and the bell overhead chimed.
Spike was mesmerized by her beauty, becoming tongue-tied at once. Rarity, on the other hand, stared at the little dragon and was unable to bring forth words for very different reasons.
“Er… Spike, dear, is that you?”
“Yeah,” he replied, taking his time. “Mind if I come in?”
Rarity stepped aside as Spike waddled in. The door closed behind him.
“Are you certain you feel alright?” Concern laced her tone as her eyes combed over his figure once more, not bothering to hide the grimace the action provoked.
“I’m fine. How have you been?” He leaned against the wall beside him, but slipped and almost fell in the process. As he righted himself, a nervous chuckle escaped his lips. “...I meant to do that.”
Rarity didn’t mention his slip-up, much to his relief. “I’ve been doing well since I last saw you this morning. The kitchen’s all tidied up and I finished all the orders I needed to. Sweetie Belle’s… somewhere in the house, though I don’t quite recall exactly where. She, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo are actually having a sleepover tonight.”
“You let Sweetie Belle have a sleepover with two other fillies after what happened this morning?” Spike replied, forgetting his role. Outside, Rainbow Dash face-hoofed.
“Well, yes. They’re collaborating on a project for school, and I wasn’t going to deny them that.” She smiled. “Would you like to talk over tea? I would really like to know where you got your new outfit.”
Spike, oblivious to Rarity’s intentions, grinned at the compliment. He thanked Rainbow Dash internally. “It’s a long story; wouldn’t want to burden you with it.”
Rarity waved his comment off with a hoof. “Nonsense, darling! I would absolutely love to hear all the details.”
The two made their way into her kitchen, taking a seat at the table. Spike found it hard to get comfortable in the ill-fitting clothes, but did his best not to show it. Rarity already had a cup of tea simmering in front of her, and levitated another for Spike. Soon, fresh tea was poured into it and placed on the table in front of him.
Spike wasn’t a big fan of tea—in fact, he hated it with a passion, and usually got Twilight to make him some hot chocolate instead—but he would suck it up for Rarity. He took the cup in his claws and, against his better judgment, gulped it down.
The hot liquid scalded his tongue and brought tears to his eyes. He spit it out, and as his luck would have it, it went straight over the table and spewed all over Rarity.
She jumped up at once, the burn causing her to grit her teeth, then rushed over to the sink and washed cold water over her forelegs. Despite his own tongue’s cries, he hopped up and joined Rarity in the matter of seconds.
“Rarity! Are you okay?!” he exclaimed, his stomach flopping wildly. He reached over to help, but she rejected it.
“I’m alright, Spike,” she managed with a small smile. “Just… give me a moment to compose myself.”
The dragon shuffled backwards, giving her the space she needed. His eyes, still full with unshed tears not entirely from the burn, were cast on the floor. He felt silly now, in baggy clothes that didn’t suit him at all. He’d even gone and hurt Rarity, however minor it was.
Not long later, Rarity had freshened herself up. Her skin still looked really sensitive, but Spike guessed it was numb at this point. Guilt gnawed at his chest.
“You really shouldn’t take in so much tea at one time, darling. The art is in taking sips.”
Rarity sat back down at her side of the table as if none of the previous events had transpired, and even wiped up the remnants of Spike’s spout with a towel levitated in her magic. The dragon was rather embarrassed, but he hopped back into his chair and tried to forget about his mistake. The evening wasn’t ruined yet.
“I’m sorry, Rarity,” he said in spite of himself. “I really didn’t mean to do that.”
The unicorn shook her head. “Don’t worry about it; I understand.”
From upstairs the sound of fillies shouting and stomping could be heard. Rarity glared at the ceiling. She took a deep breath before turning back to Spike.
“Now, as I was about to say—”
CRASH!
This time, Rarity had no reservations. She got up, her face full of rage, and said in such a calm voice that it unnerved Spike, “I’m sorry, Spikey, but we’re going to have to postpone this meeting to a later date. I’ll talk to you later.”
She walked in a short clip over to the stairs and up them without a second to waste. Spike could hear her calling Sweetie Belle’s name distantly, and it was then that he decided to take his leave.
He sighed, trudging lamely toward the front door. His heart was heavy and weighed him down far more than the clothes he wore. He’d never screwed up this bad—except maybe that one time he’d gotten really greedy and almost got himself and Rarity killed. Still, he’d had high expectations for this evening, and it sucked to have them taken away so easily.
When he opened the door, Rainbow Dash was giving him one of those big winner smiles. But when it wasn’t returned, her confidence faltered.
“Did everything go okay?”
“No, it went terrible. I don’t think she liked my—your clothes. I even spit hot tea all over her!” He winced, frowning deeply.
“Oh wow… That’s gotta hurt.” She grimaced. “Well, there’s always next time. I mean, there’s no need to get upset about it, right?”
“I guess…” Spike replied, unconvinced. He was already pulling the clothes off and folding them neatly.
“Come on, Spike. You can’t give up that easy; heck, Rarity might just be playing hard to get and you’re just falling for it!”
“Huh…” Spike thought about it for a few minutes as he tugged the last article of clothing off of him: the jeans. “That actually makes sense. Maybe she is just testing me, to make sure I’m worthy of her love!”
Spike had lightened back up, smiling brightly. He handed Rainbow Dash her old clothes. “Just imagine: Spike, the fearsome fire-breathing dragon slash awesome knight, getting the fairest mare of them all due to his sheer awesomeness and determination! How cool would that be?”
The two laughed until they were a ways from Rarity’s home, then they walked in silence, both lost in thought.
“So… what’s Twilight doing tomorrow?” Rainbow asked after a while. She stopped walking, causing Spike to turn back and look at her.
He let out a laugh. “You’d want to know,” he teased. The pegasus glared playfully.
“I helped you out today, didn’t I? It’s only fair the favor’s returned.” Spike chuckled at this, his eyes wandering to the sky. It was beautiful tonight.
“...She’s planning on taking a break from her studies between twelve o’clock and two. Stop by then.” As his eyes took in more detail and he considered the brightness of the stars, he realized just how dark everything around him had become. His eyes widened.
Twilight was going to kill him.
“I gotta go, see you tomorrow, Rainbow Dash!” Spike exclaimed as he ran as fast as he could back to the library. He could hear Rainbow’s laughter echoing behind him, and he hoped Twilight would go easy on him.
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This chapter... Wow! And i thought the first chapter was good...Totally in love with this story already. Can't wait until the next chapter.
This has the greatest chapter name eva.
First chapter seemed rushed, with Rainbow giving no explanation about when and how her feelings started. However, I like where this is going after reading this second piece, the tea-spitting scene specifically. Overall, this fic maintains the humor and style of the show, so congratulations. Keep up the good work, and don't rush things.
3305379
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. (Makes me really happy to hear that you did!)
3305440
I just had to. Spike the Swagon deserves it.
3305925
Don't worry, an explanation will be given in due time. As far as that goes, it wasn't the right time or place for Rainbow to explain why she liked Twilight (being in a bush and all), and I figured putting that in the first chapter actually would rush things. I'm taking my time and having fun with this story, but thank you! I wanted this story to have a highlight in humor (especially towards the beginning), which is why it probably came off as rushed. Anyway, I appreciate the criticism and will do my best.
3305973 You make a good point. And don't misunderstand me, I didn't say the story was bad. Au contraire, I'm actually enjoying it since a lot of Spikeships are crap or abuse of OOCness (lol) with him or other characters. This, lesbianship aside, seems like something we could see on the show, specially with the humor load that you wisefully put in. I was slightly concerned about the plot rushing as a rocket, something that tends to happen too much in this kind of stories, but after reading your reply I'm quite satisfied.
I have faith on you and like how this is going, so please continue
Poor Spike, his first evening with Rarity, and it ends with disaster with him spitting out his tea over her, and also the CMC causing her to cut the evening short.
Well, let's see how Rainbow's first day with Twilight happens.
Wow... Spike can handle jumping into a pool of lava but Rarity's tea is too hot for his tongue? How hot does she make it!?
In all seriousness, don't worry about that. It's impossible to keep every fic canon when the show itself has such glaring inconsistencies and errors.
One thing I like here is that Rarity seems to be treating Spike very respectfully.
Spike gets too much abuse in the show, particularly from Rarity and Twilight. Anyway, it'll be interesting to see how badly Rainbow Dash messes up her attempts to woo Twilight in the next chapter. 
So far, good job! You're capturing the comedic situations pretty well, and I love the fact that you're pacing the romance. Too many authors rush past it. Your characterization is pretty solid so far, so cud-dos for that! I do have one little thing though...
This seems uncharacteristic of the ponies in Ponyville. While Spike running around Ponyville might not be common, I don't think they would be in disbelief or disapproval. If anything, they might be concerned. Spike doesn't tend to run around for no reason, and usually its to get a message to Twilight from the Princess. I can also see it if he'd forgotten something he had to do, but I highly doubt that ponies would look down on him about it.
3321561
Thank you! I'm glad I'm doing well on those aspects.
As far as the "ponies looking down on him" part goes, they weren't doing it because of his running, but the fact that he'd put his finger in his mouth and stuck it up in the air like a weirdo (in their eyes). It wasn't meant to be a serious sort of disapproval, more like "I can't believe he just did that. Disgusting!" type of thing. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to write it that way, though.
3321608
Hmm... yeah, I still can't see them seeing that as abnormal. I mean, they deal with Pinkie Pie on a daily basis so...
3321621
You have a good point there. You win.
To be honest, I was sort of "on a roll" when I was writing this chapter, and sort of just stuck with what I was doing. That part felt right in my head, and then I really liked how I worded the sentence...
Just a combination of factors. Still, I'll keep that in mind so I don't make careless mistakes of that variety in the future.
3321639
Don't worry, it happens to the best of us!
It was a small thing that was out of place, but I thought I'd point it out. You seem to take well to constructive criticism and when I see things I like to point them out so it helps you develop as an author. I tend to fall into the same sort of pitfalls (going on a roll), but my editor tends to weed most of those out before it gets published.
3321652
No worries! I always hope that readers point out the things they find aren't sound in my writing, as that can help me improve and think about things from a different perspective (or fix a typo). Thanks a bunch for letting me know about that, by the way!
You sound like a pretty cool person. Because I'm a sucker for romance, I'm going to have to check your story out. It looks pretty interesting. (Never read a story that starred Berry Punch and Bon Bon before.) I look forward to getting the chance to look at it.
3321699
Thanks! Be sure to let me know what you think (good or bad)!
Great story but I don't like how its gay.
Oh Spike, what the buck did you do?!