1. Member Since 23rd Jan, 2012
  2. offline for 11h, 22m

I write some stuff on this site. Tell me your thoughts on them freely, I appreciate any criticism.

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We all know about stories where Humans enter Equestria. But what about a world where Equestria is in the Human world? It is the year 1820, and a series of events brings a young unicorn and a human prince together. Together, they will forge a bond, and go on to change Europe, and the world, forever.

First Published
24th Jan 2012
Last Modified
24th Jan 2012
#1 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

excellent. well written, and the history is right.  5 stars and tracked.:twilightsmile:

#2 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

Glad to see this story on FiMFiction. Although very long-winded, this is an excellent read.

#3 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Long-winded is an understatement, but thanks though.


Why thank you good sir!

#4 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

This story has been out for a while on DA and EqD. For those new to it this is one of the more original concepts in FiM fanfiction, definitely worth the read.

#5 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Gah, you're here too? Well this certainly makes the place more welcoming.

Also, does anyone know why it says a clop-fic is a similar story to this? I'm both confused and terrified right now.

#6 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Because that fic has the alternate universe tag as well. It's humanized ponies.

The suggested stories are based on the tags entirely.

You might want to add more tags to get a more comprehensive "suggestion" list. Adventure would work. War maybe later on...

#7 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


I think it is because of the "alternate universe" tag, and that both stories have humans. That's it, really.

#8 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·



I see. How... bizarre. I'm still disturbed though. Greatly.

#9 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Well of the 4282 stories here, only 276 have "mature" sexual content. So it's not a huge percentage or anything. And many of those are actual stories, just with sex scenes that happen "on page" instead of "off page". Also most of them are awful. Which is great because we get to make fun of them. They are often more preposterous than the gore/glue fics.

#10 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Indeed. It's the only thing that makes such fics tolerable to me, though why those are allowed while MST's are not is a mystery to me. Ah well, still amusing I suppose.

#11 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Well there are a very very (like count on one hand very) small number of clopfics that are actually "good" objectively. To the point that they can sometimes affect one's perspective on a character. For instance the clop chapter of Fallout: Equestria basically made the relationship between Littlepip and Homage many times more popular amongst that story's fans.

Anyway, off to work...

#12 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


That's right, I forgot people actually like Fallout: Equestria, for some reason. And forgive me, but I've forced myself through ones that were considered 'good', and I just can't find anything appealing in stories about cartoon horses fucking, besides how stupid they are, the one you mention included.

#13 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

Simply amazing. You've earned 4.5/5 just because I'm picky about my stories.

#14 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

Awesome NoMoreSanity, you came to FIMFiction :raritywink:

Love the story so far and can't wait for updates.

Easily a 5 star in my book.

#15 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Wow, that's a huge difference from a 5. *rolls eyes*

But seriously, thanks for your comment, I'm glad you enjoy it.


Yes, I wonder why I've put it here myself. Thanks though.

#16 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

wow it's here that is so awesome tracked

#17 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·



#18 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


...I was talking about the stories, not the sex. Some have affected me strongly.

Also not a fan of FO:E myself. It's not the kind of story I'm interested in reading in general. I was just using that to illustrate how a clopfic affected a fandom's perceptions. It's not one of the ones I personally consider good. Those are ones I can take and edit out the explicit sex and show to others and they have a strong impact as is.


Besides, kann denn leibe suende sein? Some people have weird fetishes.

#19 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Gah, you too? It's like everybrony I know is on this site... Which is fine fine with me. imokaywiththis.jpg

#20 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


I've been here much longer. Though on one hand I am quite pleased to see your move here because I find the FIMfiction reader easier to read then Googledocs.

#21 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·




#22 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


That makes sense. I mainly got on here because some of the guys in Doc chat told me to. While it does seem to be getting more views for the story, I'm kind of apathetic to the site in general. Any site that has a few CB stories on the front page turns me off on instinct. Still, good to see you here. And your alt-history is here as well! Yay.

Also joining this site means I've ascended, or descended in this case, to a level of bronydom that disturbs even me. Plus the sites formatting seems to have screwed with some parts of the fic, so blargh.

#23 · 273w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Definitely a YMMV on the affecting part. The only way those stories have affected me is by making me laugh my arse off, but you can have your own thoughts on the matter, I won't dissuade you.

Sometimes those weird fetishes are creepy and/or downright illegal. In that case, calling them out on this would be for the right.



Also I just realized half the comments have been me replying to shit people who have already read this said. Moving to PM after this then for those folks.

#24 · 273w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Did chapter 2 get cut off or is it just me?

#25 · 273w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·


It's not just you, the site seems to have only taken half the chapter at first. Sorry for not noticing that, it should be fixed now.

#26 · 273w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

I like the Rarity reference :raritystarry:

Good story and have found only a few mistakes

#27 · 273w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Thanks. And if you could, do specify what these mistakes are and where they're located, so I could correct them to the best of my meager abilities. That would be great.

#28 · 273w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

I have written and deleted about 3 monster sized posts, trying to review this fic. I just could never seem to get it out right.

On a simple level I have to agree with the review given by CommisarAJ. Charles is a completely unlikeable Gary Stu. He's great at just about everything he does and over god knows how many pages manages to undergo exactly zero character growth. I feel like he's the one holding the story back and being glad I read everything I'm not sure if I want to continue on. He really holds Twilight's character back on a lot of things and philosophically they have so little in common. For all his talk about caring about other people his actions really show a big difference.

I do disagree strongly with CommisarAJ in that historical accuracy is the goal. Alternate history is way more fun to read and is a lot less frustrating so if I have to chose between accuracy and fun for a general audience, please by all means let a little bit of inaccuracy bleed into the story.

Overall I'm glad I read it. While you have a very interesting concept I think this story is in desperate need of revising, there's just too much that stands out as you read it, and the lack of likeable characters makes it really painful. By chapter 5 I was skipping past parts with Charles to just get to the bits with Twilight because he's such an unlikeable prat who has never changed, I have no reason to believe he ever will.

Best of luck to you.

#29 · 273w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Well that's the thing. I find it very realistic that with the life he's led he's the way he is.

Twilight is the only thing bringing him toward the place he needs to be to be a GOOD person.

Unfortunately she was a child when she met him as well, so not as strong willed as the canon personality.

Do you feel the story needs revising solely due toe Charles' characterization? Or are there other reasons?

#30 · 273w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


I don't want to get into too much detail here since I'm discussing things with Nomoresanity but the gist of what I have a problem with is 1) I don't feel Twilight is bringing him towards anything, her impact on him has been amazingly negligible given how much story we have. You could replace Twilight with any random street urchin from an exotic local with magic and boom, nothing would change. 2) While it's realistic with the life he lead it's also unrealistic that he would ever heel-face-turn because of it. Twilight's mental impact on him seems to be pretty minor so why would anything ever wake him out of his funk? If after the better part of a decade his personality, opinions, and philosophy hasn't even budged due to Twilight's presence why would it now?

I'd say revising due to Charles' and Twilight's characterization. If that could be fixed I think he could get over this hump and get on with the real story he wants to tell. I feel he's close, I can see him trying within the story it just isn't connecting yet. I promised him I'd go over the story and pull up examples of what I'm talking about. I really think this story can be done, there's just so much to go over it's a little daunting :twilightblush:

But I'll defend what I think with as many examples as I can! Because, dangit, his story inspired me! No way am I just going to just dump all over him and run :rainbowdetermined2:

#31 · 273w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Well good job then if you think you can help to improve the story all power to you.

I've personally never found the need to have to actually like the character I'm reading/watching to want to read/watch them and be interested in their story/life.

In fact some of the best stories I have ever enjoyed made me want to strangle the protagonist(s) at every turn, but that did not detract from the story itself.

Some stories create likable characters to endear to their audience. :yay:

Some stories create realistic characters to enthrall their audience. :rainbowdetermined2:

This story has both in my opinion. :twilightsheepish:

#32 · 273w, 6h ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

AAaaaaah what to say about this masterpiece? So many touching and emotional scenes from the Fields of Death to inside Charles's Tent to Bosnia!

While I am Vizer of the AH Sublime Porte I must say continue forth with this.

#33 · 273w, 6h ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Ah yes I was quite taken with the 'One Man Can Change HIstory' spiel, speaks to Alternate History.

#34 · 271w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

[read the fic]

[looks at author's profile pic]

Damn she's actually big in this story :pinkiecrazy:

Can't say anything about the story, but it was a good read :rainbowlaugh:

#35 · 271w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

Just an FYI, Chapter 6's grammar has been updated and fix'd tremendously. I'm sorry it wasn't perfect to begin with, but with how big these chapters are, it's a stretch to check everything. Once again, I apologize.

#36 · 271w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Wow. Until four months ago, I would have never thought that I would ever read something that involves the words

“Yes, yes, this will work perfectly,” Metternich continued, before his mouth twitched to a smirk, “If only the bronies could hear about this though. They’d be cheering all till the morrow with a German prince being taught with an Equestrian unicorn. God knows how the Russians would react...” :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

Well... I just did. :pinkiesmile:

Kudos to you.

From a Bavarian. :twilightsmile:

#37 · 271w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

I have to say, things are certainly heating up. And the Count...He's dead?... TO WAR! :flutterrage: Death to the enemy!

And another thing...

Twilight and Charles siting in a tree.


First comes love

Then comes marriage

Then comes the process of adopting a child...and putting said child into a carriage...

Yeah, they really do love eath other. Hopefully they'll both survive long enough to figure that out.

#38 · 271w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


I'm glad you like it! I hope you enjoy future chapters just as much


Assuming things can be a tad hasty at times, wouldn't you say?

... I don't know why you'd assume the latter, but a lot of people have, without it being my intent. Do I just naturally write very shippy character interaction without knowing it?

#39 · 271w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

ME GUSTA.  Now THIS is the stuff legends.

#40 · 271w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Uh, thank you? I assume that was a compliment.

#41 · 271w, 2h ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

This is on FIMFic? Yay,

#42 · 265w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

Official history says that Napoleon II died of Tuberculosis. But I wonder... did he perhaps slip away to the border of Equestria, where none who enter ever return? I'm excited for a next chapter, if there is going to be one.

#43 · 256w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

Was thinking about this fic today. And how much I bloody miss its absurd alt history narrative! Please tell me your hiatus won't be much longer, because I need my fix.

#44 · 256w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

Huh... this fic was the only reason I still visited the EQD stories archive. This is much more convenient, however.

As a side note, this is one of the first pony stories I ever read and yet holds a special place amongst my favorites as a major factor in my getting drawn so deeply into the fandom. It's not perfect (no story is), but it's well-written, beautifully characterized, creative, original, and a massively fun read.

For anyone going through the comments wondering if the 100k+ word monstrosity is worth it, I assure you that it is. Take a deep breath and jump in feet first, you won't regret it.

#45 · 256w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


School's over in two days. Take that as a yes. Thanks for commenting and favoriting it as well.


Thanks for the praise, even though I'm sure I don't deserve half of it. Considering how lazy/depressed/fucked up I've been the last few months, I was thinking of canning this altogether, but interest from guys like you keeps me from it. Plus I can't really end this when I still haven't even got to the good parts now, right?

Thank you really for the praise; as a side-note, if you could tell me any criticism and such on the story, that'd be great! I'm a huge fan of getting praise, but a bigger fan of learning how to improve as a writer.

#46 · 255w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

>>200242 It's something that comes inevitably with the territory. People are culturally engrained to think of interactions between men and women in a romantic or potentially romantic light. Often to the point of oversimplification. I really don't see it in this case. Charles acts towards Twilight the same way any period noble male would act towards a close male friend and confidant. We're definitely more physically reserved in modern America, so physical affection between friends is viewed much more intimately.

With regards to Charles, he does seem to be a bit of a putz. But so would any nobleborn from that period. He does definitely have a monstrous chip on his shoulder, (with Bonaparte as a father, who wouldn't?). What he does need though, is some defining character growth. Perhaps a confrontation with Twilight, where she dresses him down, and he realizes that he hasn't been as noble as he thinks he's been.

There seems to be an unresolved plot thread around him keeping secrets from Twilight with regards to his little dalliances, so that would serve as an ideal catalyst.

#47 · 254w, 19h ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

Aha, I knew I knew you from somewhere... I remember this fic had some good promise to it, I'll put it in my read later for when I have some time...

#48 · 252w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·



Friendships have rocked the greatest of Empires and changed the course of history. Sherman and Grant. Sulemain the Magnificent and Ibraheim Pasha. Lewis and Tolkein. etc etc

#49 · 251w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Grammar Problems (something that I just find in the writing with a little uneasiness in it, so at the start of most of my comments, I'll give a suggestion on how to fix it.  Normally I would just copy the entire paragraph to make it easier for you to find out where I had this problem, but this time I think it's alright enough for you to find it easily)

* = the problem

> = my suggestion

-  = my comment about the suggestion

* “You might want to hurry up, the Kaiser will not be pleased if delay our audience to stare at pretty pictures!” he gently chided the young unicorn.

> “You might want to hurry up, the Kaiser will not be pleased if we (or) I delay our audience to stare at pretty pictures!” he gently chided the young unicorn.

-Not sure which way Franz  should say this in this sentence, but I know that word is sort of messing in between "if" and "delay."  It just doesn't sound right to me.  So here's a suggestion with two different ways to fix it if you want.

I've seen this submitted in the Ponies in the Real World group and the premise you said about it really peaked my interest.  This is a great introduction to this story it establish alot of things about this world here and it actually made me wonder about what happened to the real horses in that world.  Also, I couldn't help but laugh at the similarities between the situation of your Twilight and my Twilight had in this story, but at least yours is doing better.  It's a very interesting world you've made and I can't delay myself from reading the second chapter any longer, so I better go now and found out how those two change the world.

#50 · 251w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

So that is the childhood of Twilight and Charles, it was an interesting one that the two kids live though I'll give you that.   Ever since I played Tales of Graces F I figured that this chapter will be more about their childhood and you did a good job of explaining their situation.  Your writing is almost similar to the ones of the show itself, where both you and them show your research on your respecitve subjects and went even further to give them a new original twist. For the story itself, I just hope that Twilight can keep Charles of being a good guy later on, even if the best chance is that he becomes an anti hero in the end.  Also, I like the birthdays that both the kids have for each other it was rather sweet.

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