Better Landings
Dirt exploded into the air suddenly, a crater forming from the impact of the body. Stuck at the bottom of the small dent in the earth, Tony grunted in pain. His vision was groggy from both the hit and the crash landing. Leaning his head back, he focused his vision on the older man floating above him. Tony could see the smirk from where he laid, and it got more vivid as Netu'ung began his leisure descent.
Knowing what would happen if he stayed there, Tony forced his arms out of the dirt mold holding them. His body followed after and he climbed out of the crater. Netu'ung stood across the field they had been fighting for over an hour on. Tony had expected him to be powerful, given Netu'ung was the older one. But his power well exceded what he once thought. His adolescent energy wouldn't be enough to take him down. Permanently at least.
Tony steeled his body and dashed toward his opponent. Netu'ung obliged and went from a slow jog to a blinding sprint. The younger man's arms pumped in sync with his legs as the distance between them closed rapidly. With a mighty yell from each of the warriors, their fists collided and created a resounding crack. A gust of air whipped out, pushing the tall grass and leaves with much force. They hopped back, then brought opposite legs up to strike the other's head.
Neither of them made contact, save for their shins meeting. Tony recovered first and lunged forward, aiming his knuckle at Netu'ung's stomach. The older man pushed his arm away and rocketed his knee into his stomach. Before he could strike again, Tony forced his right arm to swing around and hook him in the side of the head. Netu'ung staggered backwards, allowing Tony to start his flurry of punches.
Netu'ung may have been stronger, but he was seriously lacking in speed. Using this to his advantage, Tony sent dozens of crippling strikes into his opponent's face and torso. Netu'ung couldn't stop it with his power alone; he needed an opening. When that opening came, he clenched his fist, drove it into Tony's stomach, and sent him rolling backwards. Tony recovered mid-tumble, but he was forced to jump back when Netu'ung swung an axe at him. Had Tony been a second later, his stomach would have been torn open.
But that wasn't his only attempt. Twirling the axe after every failed swing, Netu'ung slashed and hacked as the adolescent wove under and around. He grunted when Tony grabbed onto the wood of the handle. He pulled it up sharply, uppercutting Netu'ung with the base of the shaft. As he staggered back, Tony did a full spin and slapped him with the flat of the blade.
It was Netu'ung's turn to tumble away, and Tony was right behind him. He leaped into the air a few feet from him and bellowed as he brought down the axe from above his head. Netu'ung recovered faster than Tony would have liked and opened his palm. The axe wriggled free of Tony's grasp, shooting back to its owner's hands. Before it turned him into two halves, Tony planted his hand on the flat of the blade and pushed off. Netu'ung finished his arc and gave him a taste of his own medicine by smacking him the same way he did.
Tony tumbled forward, landing face down on the grass. He pushed himself back up but found himself being tackled once again. A sharp pain in his thigh and shoulder made him cry out in pain. Gnawing on his body were the two Arthanian soldiers, their wolf like jaws clamped down on him. He pulled the one biting his shoulder off and speared it into the other one. The two launched back, Tony landing on his back once more. His heightened sense of smell warned him of more of the bipedal wolves, and sure enough another dozen were charging with spears.
He kneed the first in its face, then spun around to kick the next one. Before another could stab him he pulled one in front of him. The head of the weapon pierced the wolf completely, the one responsible pushing it off and lunging at Tony. Going with the motion of the swing, Tony freed the weapon from the soldier and dug it into the back of its head.
The others then piled onto him, getting a hold of his limbs and spreading him apart. The ones not holding him down began to claw at him with their sharp claws. Tony screamed as their sharpened nails dug into his skin. It was agonizing, and it only got worse as some began to bite him. He couldn't thrash himself free, so with a fading sense of consciousness, he changed.
His wounds and claw marks filled and overflowed with the metals stored inside his body. The tearing of skin soon turned to a scratching of steel against tooth and nail. The soldiers whimpered as their teeth tried to break through the living metal, but to no avail. Using the power of his second form, Tony curled himself into a ball and thrust his limbs out. The pulse of energy scattered the remaining soldiers through the field. Tony's main target was waiting patiently across the field, he too having changed.
Instead of skin, there were scales, rough and coarse but resilient no less. A tail waved behind him, and his enlarged canines stuck out of his mouth. He was wielding his axe again, and he soon broke into a charge. Tony gladly obliged, going to meet the Signa.
When the axe swung this time, it went faster than his previous attempts. Though he leaned back to avoid it, the tip dug into his side, and as it finished its arc it tore Tony's side open. Shouting in pure anguish, Tony gripped the gory wound, but was forced to move again to dodge another swing.
Netu'ung didn't stop, now that he was mortally wounded. The movements Tony made were harsh on the gash, but it would be much worse if he didn't move. However, Netu'ung placed it on his back and kicked him away. He didn't get the chance to tumble as Netu'ung sprinted behind him and punted him skyward. Again he flew past him to slam his fist into his stomach.
Instead of soft dirt, a reinforced knee halted Tony's descent. With the liberty of reacting, Tony gasped and coughed out blood from the attacks. Netu'ung's new form was way stronger than his first. He hadn't expected this much power from him. Each hit had made him feel as though his bones were shattering.
"Dot et bush? (Is that all?)" Netu'ung chuckled. "Jra bev coporak nabk cral ut Doshu'um (I was expecting more from the Doshu'um)"
Tony groaned weakly as he looked up to glare at the man, but his gaze turned to shock. The side of Netu'ung's scaled face started to glow an ominous, dull cyan color. Suddenly, his arms and legs started to tingle, and when he looked at the hanging limbs they too were glowing. When he looked back up, his eyes widened in horror. Bit by bit, Netu'ung's face was breaking away, as were Tony's arms and legs.
Soon Netu'ung's knee deteriorated as well, letting him to fall to the ground. The feeling of numbness traveled up his body, and only one thing came to mind.
I'm sorry, Eishla. I'm so sorry
The last of Tony faded, leaving tiny specks blowing into a nonexistent breeze.
"Princess Celestia," May Belle called with her muzzle in the door.
"Come in, May," the warm voice carried to the mare. She stepped inside hesitantly and saw the alabaster alicorn with a summer colored mane lying on her pillow.
"Y-Your guests, Twilight Sparkle and her friends have… arrived," May forced herself to say past the lump in her throat. She had never seen the princess, even though she worked for her. It was only natural she was nervous, right?
Celestia smiled happily and nodded. "Thank you, May. I'll be down shortly," she smiled. May nodded and hurried out of the princess' chambers.
With much joy, Celestia's horn began to glow, levitating her royal regalia on. She stood up and exited her chambers, walking briskly to the dining hall. Today she had set up a dinner for her student and her friends. It would be a nice change of pace, to just be able to be with her student on common ground. Royal duties were becoming very tiresome, so it would at least give her some time away from the throne.
In addition to her and the Elements, she invited Luna along, since the early night was her version of morning. Then, Cadence heard and asked if she could come along. Of course she was allowed to and, thankfully, Blueblood was off with the nobles in Canterlot. It was going to be an interesting night. She could just feel it.
"So how's everything in the Crystal Empire since we left?" Twilight asked her brother.
"It's been real calm, and kinda boring," he chuckled. Cadence nudged him and giggled.
"They've been very happy, now that Sombra's gone. All thanks to you six and Spike," Cadence smiled. "You're their heroes after all."
"Yup, we were pretty awesome, weren't we?" Rainbow sighed as she leaned back in her chair.
"Ah'm sure ya looked might heroic, Dashie," Applejack sarcastically remarked. "We were just helpin' the poor ponies get rid o' that Sombra fella. Gave me the creeps."
"Yeah, he was pretty scary," Twilight chuckled softly. "But if it wasn't for Spike, we might not have been so lucky."
"I'm sure luck had nothing to do with it, Twilight Sparkle," Luna said from her seat.
There was an awkward silence among the ponies as they waited for the princess. That silence was broken when Fluttershy noticed that Pinkie Pie was not in her seat. She glanced around the room, but found no sign of the pink mare.
"Has anypony seen Pinkie Pie?" Fluttershy asked. Had it not been for the silence at the table, none of them would have heard her.
Just like she had done, they all took a quick glance around the hall for Pinkie. "She was right in front of me when we came in," Rarity told them.
"Maybe she went to the bathroom?" Twilight suggested.
"Or did I?!" Twilight jumped back as the pink mare appeared before her.
"Pinkie! Where were you?!" Twilight asked while clutching her chest. Pinkie giggled and showed her a rappel rope.
"I was just hanging," she giggled. "Get it? Hanging?!"
"We get it, Pinkie," Applejack chuckled. "Now sit 'own, Celestia'll be here any minute."
Pinkie bounced to her seat then popped back up. "What's taking her so long? I'm soooo hungry!" She threw her hooves on the table for dramatic effect.
"I sent a servant mare to find her," Cadence giggled, watching Pinkie squirm. "She should be here any-"
The large doors parted with a golden glow to reveal the celestial princess. "Good evening, everypony," she smiled. "My faithful student, I'm glad you could come."
"Of course," Twilight smiled as she nuzzled her mentor.
"Finally!" Pinkie exaggeratedly exclaimed. "Can we order something, Princess?! Pleeeease?!"
With another soft laugh, Celestia sat beside her younger sibling. "Of course," she nodded. With a clop of her hooves, a dozen waiters came in to take their orders.
Not too long after they placed their orders, the chefs brought in their dishes. The meals steamed in front of them, prompting them to dig in. And they did, save for Luna, who only had some tea.
Cadence took the initiative to get everypony talking, with some very private information. "So Twilight, how's Ponyville been?" Cadence asked the mare.
"It's been pretty calm, for once," Twilight giggled. "Nothing serious is happening… yet."
"Really? Nothing, strange either?" Cadence pressed with a grin.
While her aunts and friends were confused, Cadence knew Twilight had heard about what happened. It was only by chance that a tourist in the Crystal Empire spoke about it. And she so happened to hear it from one of her servants.
Twilight, on the other hoof, was just as confused. She thought back to the past few days. Nothing strange had happened. Pinkie threw a few parties, Rainbow crashed into the library (which counted for normal nowadays), she reorganized the library and practiced some spells. There wasn't anything… actually… there was one incident with the local God of Chaos.
Apparently, she wasn't the only one to pick up on Cadence's hinting. The unnamed mare stared daggers into Twilight from her seat. The lavender unicorn smiled sheepishly and turned back to Cadence.
"Um, nope! Nothing strange happened last I checked!" Twilight laughed weakly.
"Really? Well I heard that Discord turned some mare into a stallion. Did you hear about that?" Cadence asked, like it was normal.
Celestia and Luna leaned in when they heard that. They too had slowly growing grins as they listened.
The mare in question sat at that very table, her red blush mismatching her cyan coat. "Nope! Must have slipped my mind!" Twilight frantically assured her.
The two goddesses could see the faces of confusion turn to small snickers as well. One, however, caught their attention: A certain rainbow maned pegasus glaring at Twilight. They put two and two together, and soon Luna had a hoof over her mouth to stifle any giggles that escaped. Celestia was much better at hiding her laugh, but she smirked nonetheless and struggled for composure.
Before Rainbow could be identified out loud, the room began to shake. It was very subtle, the small clatter of the forks and plates telling them something was wrong. After a few seconds of it, the room stood still and silent.
"Ya'll felt that too?" Applejack asked. They all nodded, and not a moment later did the tremors return.
They had risen in strength, just enough to get them to sway a bit. Just like the first, the shaking subsided as quick as it came.
"Is it an earthquake?" Twilight asked.
"It couldn't be," Luna said. "This area never experienced any seismic activity."
Another tremor, the change in magnitude catching them all off guard. They all swayed violently as the building shook, some of the marble from the ceiling beginning to crumble from the movement and causing small pebbles to fall. The dishes and cups clattered loudly on the wooden surface, threatening to fall off the table. Finally, the shaking calmed until everything stood still.
"Is everypony alright?" Celestia asked.
"We're fine, but why was everything shaking?" Twilight questioned. "I thought Luna said this place doesn't get earthquakes?"
"It hasn't for several thousand years," Celestia said. "I'm not sure what could have triggered-"
crash
Celestia's ears perked at the barely audible sound. With all the ponies talking, she couldn't quite hear. "Everypony please be quiet," she said loudly.
Crash
"Does anypony else hear that?" Luna asked. The others perked their heads up to listen.
CRASH
"What is-"
CRASH
Fluttershy's question was cut short as the ceiling erupted and chunks fell through. The ponies jumped back from the table as the marble completely crushed it. A cloud of debris kicked up, obscuring their vision. Fluttershy clung to the nearest pony, being Pinkie Pie.
"What was that?!" Rainbow hollered.
"Did anypony get hurt?" Applejack called.
"I'm good".
"My mane! And this dust's gotten into my coat!"
"Rarity and I are fine," Twilight called to them.
"Me and Fluttershy too!" Pinkie chirped in her untouched mood.
Shining Armor magicked the cloud away with a simple gust spell. He hadn't jumped for cover, instead jumping in front of Cadence to protect her.
"I'm okay, Shining," Cadence said softly to him.
"What is that?!" Pinkie exclaimed. Everypony turned to where she was pointing, and they all gasped.
Underneath chunks of marble and wood, was a body. It wasn't a pony. It looked like a large ape of some kind, only that instead of fur it had some kind of metal over most of it with patches of skin. On top of its head was what looked like a short ragged mane, if it wasn't metal. What really caught their attention was what was over its face, if that wasn't it. A mask of the same metals covered its face from view, save for its eyes.
In its side was a deep gash, and the skin of it was clawed and bloodied. "It's pretty banged up," Shining quietly murmured.
"Get the guards down the hall," Celestia ordered. "And find a doctor."
Shining saluted before galloping out of the room and down the hall. The ponies came closer to examine it, its motionless body giving them the idea it was dead. It had what was once clothes, but was now bloodied rags.
"What do you think it is?" Twilight asked.
Before her question could be answered, a loud roar prompted them to look up. From the hole the first made, another, larger creature fell through, landing right on the first.
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First to comment on my own fic! Anyway, I already told you where I got this idea, and if you plan to keep reading this just ignore alien talk. You could try to sound it out, I suggest you just read parentheses. Like, comment, favorite, and have a great day everypony. BROHOOF!
This has potential. You have my fav and follow for now good sir.
Okay. I stopped reading at not human. So what is he? There is a human tag, so why have it if he is not human. And please, don't tell me to read and find out. If he is not human, or ends up changing into a pony I don't want to read. So can you please answer. All you have o say is that he is human, or to just move along.
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Alien, and he doesn't turn into a pony so far...
I'm noticing many conventional errors that are quite hard to look by, so I just thought I'd point some out. In the very first paragraph, I am noticing some seemingly missing words, and a lot of areas that could have done well with a comma. I'm not going to name every mistake I noticed, and I am sure your writing has improved in the later chapters, but I want to give you a tip with how to fix the numerous errors. All you really have to do is read it over, and you'll notice the areas where things don't line up. This may not work for you, but, I for one cannot stand my errors. If I notice a mistake in my writing, or even someone else's, it trips me up and I have a world of trouble getting back into stories. I'm certain if you come back and fix these chapters, you'll get a boatload more anticipating the new additions to this story, which certainly has potential. I'll come back when these are more polished, but until then, good luck.
Wow, three paragraphs in and I'm already lost, this does not bode well. I'll give it the usual three chapters, if I don't understand what is going on by the end of the third chapter I will thumbs down and move on.
Waaaaay too much use of the giggling or laughing. Besides that, I'm continuing
I would like to point out that while it works just fine in visual media, as a general rule, battles have to have momentum. They have to be going somewhere, and each side needs a clear goal.
As it stands, while the choreography was probably pretty good, my brain just refused to get into any of the action. There were no real emotional stakes, or even that pressing of physical danger.
I'm going to continue reading, of course, as everything else seemed pretty good, but it's a common mistake to make, especially with most media being visual nowadays.
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TL;DR: If I don't know the stakes and limits, I don't care.
I agree, I just skipped it all