1. Member Since 28th Oct, 2011
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That semi-known writer with a few successes and an admin for Rage Reviews.

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Not sure whether to like this or be creeped out by it. So Shining got to know what it was like as a mare. Now theres just some lesbian and gay action left to do.

Very good.  I'm interested to see if there will be more, and will probably even read the stallion on stallion chapter, assuming you plan on continuing this story with that theme.  

>>2064275

Heh, yeah, I knew some people would get a bit turned off by it.

>>2064275

>>2064315

Yep, that is where future chapters will go. For planned chapters, there'll be another Aegis/Eros chapter, an Aegis/Cadence chapter, and a Shining Armor/Eros chapter. I might also throw in some other chapters, but they'd primarily be slice of life, comedy that won't have a sex scene.

Comment posted by The Dragon Warlock deleted at 12:29pm on the 4th of February, 2013
Comment posted by The Dragon Warlock deleted at 12:29pm on the 4th of February, 2013

>>2064398 Think Shining should eventually bring up the idea of threesomes maybe since thats a type of love too :pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

. . . I can deal.

and then they found out the pell put her in heat.

She stomp on the bed. “Of course I know that. Shining, I would never do such a thing

She stomped on the bed makes more sense here, at least... in my opinion.

“Gah!” said an unfamiliar voice. It was a mares, though huskier than they usually word.

In my own opinion, would works better then word, in addition to a 'be' at then end.

It was a mare's, though huskier then it would normally be. (That is, if you want to.)

Other then that... I liked it to an extent. It was good but at times I couldn't really... get into it. Still, good job.

>>2064529

I don't know. It's already kind of hard writing a decent sex scene for just two characters.

>>2065315

I have no idea what you're talking about. Those lines have been perfect the whole time... :pinkiehappy: Heh. There's always a mistake or two that I miss. Oh well. thanks for pointing those out.

10/10 could fap to this

Whooo boy. That was grand. I normally don't praise clopfics, but wow man/woman.

Ten out of ten.

This is great.

I noticed a few problems with wording, all in the case of tense, but they're rare and not really too much of a bother to the story.

The characters are great. The way they act and react is natural and very believable, and it all flows very smoothly.

Bohemian Rhapsody level of greatness!

>>2065386

Are you saying that it's easier to write stories involving threesomes/gangbangs?

But great story so far. I've never been a fan of clopfics, but this one is actually good.

Have a moustache to show my appreciation of this. :moustache:

This is  quite a well written story thus far, and you say that there will be slice-of-life sections in addition to the naughty bits?  I'll have to be sure that I get notified as soon as you have another chapter out.

>>2065717

Just the opposite. I'm sure it's easier writing for just two characters than more and I'm not sure I could do a decent job writing a threesome.

>>2065761

There might be. I can't say for sure right now. It depends on if I get the inspiration for a good one or not.

R 63 with shining....I'm not even sure I want to read this

::says that as he starts to read the first paragraph::

....damn you....

Gratz on the feature~

I thought it would have been Molestia with a Rule 63 ray gun.

What was best in life?

TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR WOMEN.

HAHAHA 69th like.

Oh dear god, I loved this story. Cue Celestia walking in on them.

I will admit, I felt a bit uncomfortable reading this kind of thing, but that has more to do with preferences than the story itself. And let's face it, that cover image is just too intriguing to pass up.

Besides a few "He-She" errors here and there, the story's well written and definitely an interesting ride{:trollestia:), even if a bit weird :applejackconfused:

Not bad. A concept I've entertained before.

Are you going to take them through a M/M and F/F session too?

It strikes me that they could have just both gone futanari and avoided the logistics.

Lucky for Aegis the brand new vagina didn't come with an unbroken hymen.

Not a fan of estrus in FiM ponies in general. They, like us, manipulate their environment and so, like us, should have evolved out of a survivalist estrus cycle. But I am especially confused how it is used here. You seem to want it both ways but the number of species that go into heat but remain sexually receptive all the time is staggeringly small.

since she regular used it as a way to warm up Cadence during foreplay
regularly

Around half way, he felt the ridge from his cock.
should be she

Aegis shuddered in the immense pleasure
should either drop "the" or change "in" to "from"

>>2066248

Fixed.

Anyways, my idea for the estrus thing is that they can have sex for pleasure any time but can only breed while the mare is in heat. Think of it less as something that helps them breed and more as population control.

It was actually pretty hot. Nice. :ajsmug:

You know how sometimes you see a story, think 'what the hell is this and who would write it' and then read it yourself? Yeah, that was this story.

>>2066305

Well you have it how you want it, but I can't say I can agree with your perspective.

Estrus in a society like Equestria is not very believable, but implying estrus helps population control makes no sense.

The point of estrus is to force breeding, not gently encourage it.

Going into heat means being flooded with hormones that make both the female and potential mates incredibly horny. That is not remotely conducive to population control.

And if their ovulation does not induce uncontrollable lust, well, that's not going into heat.

Wow this is good hope you continue

Ok the the two-cents from BTB

I like it so far. Looking forward to more chapters!

That cover art! :raritystarry:

>>2064398

It would be amusing to see a chapter or two devoted to the fun they can have messing with everyones heads...or situations where they forget which form they are in and continue old conversations as a different gender with ponies that have no idea what is going on....or well meaning friends trying to warn either Cadence or Shining that the other might be cheating on them.

One word.

MMMMMMMMMMMMM! Is that even a word? It is now.

allow a few pics to express my opinion if you will:

  interesting...

  it's original too!

  that ending

  

By all means continue writing even if it's not this, though I would be a little sad...

  just a little:rainbowlaugh:

9001/10

Laughed so fucking hard I fell off my chair. Parents came up moments later, so I had to close down this window and quickly swap to the Gmod idiot box 9.

Seriously one of the funniest fics I've ever read. Great job, and can't wait to see future chapters!

At one point the spelling mistakes got so terrible that it was just fic-shattering for me. After that, it got better though and even though I was hoping for mare-on-mare action, you didn't disappoint :pinkiehappy:

A clop fic that seems like it's going to have good story elements.:moustache:

my knight in Shining Armor

Combined with the cover picture, hmm...

I'd like to see some more gender swapping action.

What was best in life?

For Shining Armor, the answer was simple: spending a morning in bed cuddled up with his beautiful wife.

Damnit Shining, you are doing it wrong! Conan school this fool!

Oh... my. This was excellent. I am definitely looking forward to more. You're going on my fave list for sure.

Hmm, not bad, but I'll go against the flow and say it's not particularly mind-blowing in any way. You swapped the genders - that's okay, but this idea has been done. Once the novelty of that wears off (which for me it does very quickly), it's just a your typical, above-average M/F clopfic.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed reading it. This is good; it's just not amazing.

>>2066421 This is my headcanon as well, and from an evolutionary standpoint I don't see anything wrong with it. Female ponies advertise their fertility as real-world horses do and estrus brings about greater sexual feelings, but not uncontrollable ones. Sex for pleasure is possible at all times.

Oh, and corrections:

"Had he do something wrong?" -> "done"

"It was a mares, though huskier than they usually would be." -> "mare's"

"When you have wider hips, they went back and forth with as you walked." -> "had" and missing "you"

"Her lowered her tail" -> "she"

"She was still too lost in all the new feelings to of given this serious thought" -> "have"

"He stayed mostly quit while doing it" -> "quiet"

"Now she running on instinct alone." -> missing "was"

"Maybe doing this once and awhile wouldn't be so bad." -> "once in a while"

From the picture I thought it was their daughter, but now after I have read the description I understand that Shining is turned into a, to say the least, adorable mare.:rainbowkiss:  I applaud you sir/miss for making this amazing fiction up to this point.  Don't disappointing with the upcoming details hmm. :duck:

>>2067764

Fixed. I really need to do one last read over out loud instead of just in my head. I tell other writers to do it to catch their mistakes but I never seem to think of it when I'm about to post something.

ADFDSGLKJDSAHGASLKGHDSLK

I AM COMPLETELY UNABLE TO CAN RIGHT NOW

dis is going to be read!!

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