• Published 2nd Feb 2013
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Lessons for a Benevolent Tyrant - Hustlin Tom



Princess Celestia is taught the virtues of the Elements of Harmony by Starswirl the Bearded after having become the tyrannical Empress of the Solar Empire

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Chapter 13

The skies boiled with rolling clouds colored steely grey. Lightning forked down from the heavens at random intervals, but the rain that normally accompanied the atmospheric disturbance had not come yet. Waves from the aptly named Furia Ocean pounded against the rocky beach, froth rushing inland for short while, only to regress back into the bosom of the deep expanse of water, or to splash against gigantic ancient volcanic spires jutting out of the beach.

“Why are the choices for your lesson destinations always the most ironic?” Princess Celestia had to yell over nature’s fury for Starswirl to be able to hear.

“It helps for the lessons to sink in with more meaning!” he replied, “Where better to learn about Laughter than a grim, stormy place such as this?”

“Are we waiting for somepony to arrive?”

“No. We’re waiting for something, not someone. Can you hear it?”

“Hear what?” the Princess shouted back, “What am I supposed to hear besides the thunder and the waves?”

“The singing; can you hear the singing?” Starswirl asked.

The Princess closed her eyes and mentally drowned out as much of the background noise as she could. At first she couldn’t make out anything resembling singing at all. As she became more meditative, though, she could make out the sound she had been searching for; a tinkling voice of a deep soprano tone. It was a song filled with so many emotions. The melody of the noise passed into her mind, and it deposited multiple different feelings; contentment, melancholy for days gone by and by, a deep sadness that began to bring empathic tears to her eyes. The tears were stilled soon after by joy at getting a chance to see the world for another day, and the opportunity to wonder at all the possibilities tomorrow could hold.

“There’s nothing quite like it, is there?” Starswirl yelled to Princess Celestia with weary but happy eyes.

The Princess slowly shook her head, “What sort of magic is bound up in that tune?”

“It is the enchantment of the Marianans, the Sea ponies.”

The Princess looked to her old friend in shock, “The Sea ponies survived their plague?”

The old unicorn looked out to the ocean beyond, “I’m afraid not. The last of them was taken from this world about one hundred fifty years ago; there’s nothing left of them now but their music.”

“What does this have to do with Laughter? Am I supposed to be made happy thinking about long dead merpony songs?”

Starswirl raised a barrier around them to block out the sound of the roaring ocean, and he turned to look back at Princess Celestia, “In the final hours of her life, the last Queen of the Marianan dynasty sang a powerful and beautiful song. It was a song that will resonate across the Furia Ocean for all the rest of time. It was meant to be a guide for those lost at sea, so that they could find their way back to safe harbor through the frequent storms. Many a trader must pass this way, and they swear by the song of the Sea ponies.” He pointed out to the ocean, which seemed even more eerie when no sound could be heard from the titanic waves, “Out there, surrounded by an environment that constantly seems to be out to kill you, one is not to be left without hope. Without hope, death is always certain. The Queen knew this, and even though her song was affected by the plight of her and her people, she made absolutely certain that those she and her race once protected would have some safeguard after she was gone. Laughter brings together hope and joy in a unity that is hard to defeat if it is fully realized. Do you remember before we first started these lessons that I pointed out your immortal condition?”

“I do,” the Princess replied.

“You’ve seen many deaths in your younger years. Inevitably, you will see many more, including mine soon. I must command you to do one last thing: never be alone. Do not shy away from us mortals just because it may cause you pain when we reach the end of our time. A leader who is not connected to their subjects cannot make the best decisions for their regard. Remember also that you are a beacon to all those below you, and that you are to provide the best possible example of what a moral pony should be.”

The Princess looked to Starswirl with stunned eyes that began to cloud over, “You... You’re going to die soon?”

“The vast majority of beings must at some point.”

“But what about your studies?” Princess Celestia asked, at a loss to her friend’s prediction of his own demise, “What about all the other places in the world you have left to see?”

Starswirl shrugged, “They don’t really matter now. My time on this world has been long; I’ve lived almost four hundred years.”

“Aren’t you afraid?” Princess Celestia asked in confusion, “Everypony I’ve ever known who was mortal had some fear of death.”

“I cannot lie; I do have some trepidation. I’m only afraid of dying, though, not death.”

“But death is the end! All the knowledge you’ve accumulated, everything you’ve ever experienced will be lost. How can you be so calm about this?”

“I am calm because death is not the end,” Starswirl said matter-of-factly. The Princess was bewildered but silent.

The old unicorn sighed as he gathered his thoughts to the best of his ability, and he continued on, “When you settle into a book, and you’ve just finished the prologue, do you stop there, lay it down and never return to it because the next page is blank? If you’re in any way sensible, you turn the page and start Chapter One. I know death is the end here, but it is the great beginning for somewhere else, somewhere far beyond this place. I’ve even caught a few snippets of that somewhere else in my travels across time.”

“What is it like? That place, I mean.” the Princess asked quietly.

Starswirl smiled as he closed his eyes. The Princess could tell that he was ecstatic from just remembering what little he knew of what was past the veil, “Warm; a gentle warmness. A city made out of so many different kinds of crystal that spans tens of thousands of miles, with a splendorous light at its center that illuminates everything. There are no tears apart from those made by joy, and there is no pain or grief.”

The Princess smiled a little through her sadness for her friend, “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“No,” the old unicorn opened his eyes, “It doesn’t sound bad at all.”


In a flash of light, the two ponies returned to Starswirl’s guest suite. He slowly walked over to his bureau and began to write in his journal once again. He sighed contentedly as he began to transcribe his thoughts onto the paper with his magically created quill. The process had become a cathartic practice for him many years ago, and he was enjoying himself once again as he wrote.

The Princess followed him across the room and looked over his shoulder, “What do you write in there, anyway?”

“Theories, spells, theoretical spells, and a log of all my adventures.”

As soon as words or equations left the tip of Starswirl’s quill, they automatically began to shift into unreadable hieroglyphics and runes.

Princess squinted at the unintelligible language, “How do you read it later?”

“The book only looks like gibberish to those I haven’t allowed access to. Here,” his horn lit up, and the letters returned to a comprehensible structure for the Princess to read, “Indulge yourself.”

Craning her neck further over Starswirl’s neck, Princess Celestia began to look over the page slowly. After a minute or two of trying to decipher his theories, she sighed, “Are you sure this isn’t still gibberish?”

Starswirl chuckled, “I can’t be too sure in all honesty! At some point, all genius begins to look like madness.”

The two were silent for a time; Princess Celestia was trying to find the courage to ask a question, and Starswirl was waiting to answer it when it did come.

In time, she mustered up the necessary courage, “How much time do you have left?”

“About a month now. Enough time to do one or two last things. I must get back to Master Basil nine and half years from now to fulfill the promise that I made to him.”

The Princess’ eyebrow arched, “Which was?”

Starswirl looked up to the Princess with a small smile, “That things would have changed for the better, and that he and his children would never have to be afraid of you.”


On the outskirts of Baltimare stood a cottage with a fairly large tomato garden behind it. Basil had been blessed very much in the past ten years: his plot of land had grown four fold, his produce had been of good quality all around, and he had settled down with his lovely wife Melba, one of the Apple family, and had had one child with her; a daughter named Roma. It was midafternoon, and Basil was tending to his gloriously red and thoroughly ripe tomatoes. He was plucking each of the healthy fruits from their vines and was placing them in a cart nearby, so that tomorrow morning he could take them to market and sell what produce he had. He wagered that if the mild summer temperatures held for another two months, he might even be able to grow up another batch before the fall chill came. If that happened, he and his family would be sitting in well-earned comfort for the winter months, with food enough for everypony and a steadily growing nest egg for the later years.

Basil paused from his work as a strange feeling slipped into the forefront of his mind. Today was important, he realized. He racked his brain for all he was worth, but he couldn’t remember why. Was it his and Melba’s anniversary? No, he’d already be dead if that were the case. Roma’s birthday? That wasn’t it, and it wouldn’t be for another five months.

Suddenly, from behind him he heard an unsettlingly familiar somepony say, “Good afternoon, Master Basil. Though I suppose that now it would be Mister Basil, wouldn’t it?”

Basil froze as the knowledge of why today was so very important rushed back to him. He slowly craned his neck around until he found the pony the voice belonged to; it was the strange unicorn with the jingling hat and robes. “It’s you!”

“Yes, it’s me. It has been almost exactly ten years since we last saw each other,” Starswirl looked up at the position of the sun for a short time, “Ah, so I was seventeen minutes off. I guess I’ve gotten a little better at keeping time.”

Basil shook his head in utter dumbfoundedness, “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Disappear in the blink of an eye, and then just as easily come back to me ten years later near the exact time you left?”

The old unicorn smirked, “I’m a wizard; I learned to travel time from the best.”

“Who?”

“I’m not sure. He looked like a scrawny minotaur without horns or a tail, and he dressed in strange clothes. He was an interesting conversationalist, and I remember really liking his bowtie.”

Basil shook his head; he just couldn’t comprehend the oddity of this old unicorn stallion. In a moment, he realized he had been rather rude all those years ago when he had first met this pony. “I’m sorry, but I just realized I never asked your name when we first met. Who are you?”

“I’m glad your social etiquette has improved over the years. My name is Starswirl, or Starswirl the Bearded.”

Basil’s face blanched. His knees began to knock a little, and he nervously tried to speak, “Are you a... You’re-“

Starswirl cut off the middle aged earth pony before he drove himself into a panic, “I’m no spirit.”

Basil was driven into greater confusion, “But you’re dead!”

“Not yet. At least, not in my opinion.”

“But you died almost nine years ago! You were given a royal funeral by the Princess. There were invitations sent all across the world to come attend the service to send you off!”

Starswirl slowly shook his head, “I’m a time traveler; that hasn’t happened to me yet. Besides, it doesn’t really matter anyway; I decide when I die. I knew when I first met you that my time had been long overdue for many centuries; my magic and my thirst for knowledge have been what has been keeping me alive for ages now. Now, let us get to the matter of why I am here; how is Equestria nowadays?”

Despite his unsettledness at being in the presence of a dead pony walking, or... whatever he was, Basil obliged him his question, “The Princess published an edict of five tenants after your... death.”

“What five tenants were they?” Starswirl asked with bated breath.

“Generosity, Kindness, Honesty, Loyalty, and Laughter. She called them the Elements of Harmony.”

“What else?”

“She also established a council of representatives from all the provinces of Equestria to see to the daily needs of ponies everywhere. She called it the ‘House of Commonponies’, and she signed into law a bill of rights that provides certain liberties to all ponies.”

Starswirl nodded and grimaced to himself in triumph.

He looked back up to Basil, “What about you? Are you still afraid for your life?”

Basil smiled a little, “No. I haven’t been afraid in years. I have my Melba and my Roma; we’re free and prosperous. The sun rises, the rains come, and life is good.”

Starswirl joyfully smiled, “Then my promise to you is complete.” The old scholar once again looked up at the sun, “It seems it is time for me to leave now.” He looked back to Basil and smiled warmly, “Goodbye, Mister Basil. I wish you and your family happiness for years to come, and ever after.”

Basil looked at the old unicorn glumly, “So... This is it?”

“I’m afraid it is. It’s time for me to die soon.”

Basil then asked in confusion, “But you said that you decided when you died.“

“I do,” Starswirl said, “I’ve done quite a bit of good for this world. However, I can stand to do even more good if I inspire a certain Princess to do what I taught her to, if she does it in honor of my memory. Besides,” the wizened stallion shrugged, “I’ve had a good long run, and many chances to find knowledge in all its forms. It’s time to give the younger minds and bodies a chance to end up like the daft old codger that I am!”

Basil nodded and smiled a little, “Well, I hope you find some peace wherever you end up. Goodbye, Starswirl.”

Starswirl smiled warmly to the burgundy pony, “I don’t believe in goodbyes. So instead, I’ll simply say 'safe travels' to you, Mister Basil.”

The old scholar turned and began to walk away, and in a vibrant burst of azure-grey light, he was gone.