Tank N' Pals

by Wildebeest

It's a Pet Store, For Crying Out Loud

Chapter 15: It's a Pet Store, For Crying Out Loud

Before the four pets could process what they just heard, the shadowy figure in the middle of the room clapped twice and the lights and the room was promptly illuminated. The pets cringed and shielded their eyes, taken aback by the sudden blast of light.

"G-gah!" cried Owlowiscious. "Warn me next time if you're going to do that!"

"Warn you?" the voice replied, a hint of indignation creeping through. "You didn't give me fair warning before barging into our store uninvited. Fair is fair."

As the shock gradually wore off, our four heroes began to survey their surroundings. The pet store seemed to be clean and well- kept, with a nicely polished tile floor and calming, mauve- colored walls. The first half of the store was spacious and roomy, occupied only by the stacks of cages lining the walls and the humble little check-out counter just beyond the entrance. The second half was organized into neat little aisles, each one marked by a bright yellow sign hanging overhead.

The animals, to their surprise, had been dozing peacefully in their cages prior to their invasion, and the ones that weren't still asleep had just begun to stir from their slumber, drowsily trying to organize their thoughts. The only animal that was uncaged stood in the dead center of the room; a neatly groomed brown chinchilla donning a tiny red sweater.

"Good evening," he announced in a regal upperclass accent with near- perfect diction. "Might I ask you what brings you here at this hour of the night?"

"We're settin' you free!" proclaimed Winona. She dashed over towards a cage housing a family of guinea pigs and started chewing away at the lock.

"Stop that!" cried the chinchilla. "Stop that at once or you'll ruin the lock!"

Winona paused, spat the lock out of her mouth and glared at the chinchilla. "Good," she grunted. "The sooner ah can get these locks off, the sooner y'all can get outta this prison and go 'round free. Ain't that right, fellas?"

Winona took a glance at the guinea pigs in the cage, only to find them less than enthused, donning expressions that ranged from confusion to annoyance to fear.

"W...what's the matter?" Winona asked, eying the family confusedly. "Don't you wanna leave this prison?"

"Prison?" gasped the chinchilla. "Madam, I... I think we need to back up for just a moment."

After taking a couple of deep breaths, the chinchilla cautiously stepped towards Winona. "It seems as though there's been a terrible misunderstanding. First and foremost, let me introduce myself. My name is Winston, senior member of Pet Paradise. And you are?"

"...Winona," uttered Winona, still maintaining her air of suspicion.

"I'm Tank," said Tank as he hovered over to Winona's side, followed by his two compadres.

"Owlowiscious."

"And I am Opalescence Luminosity Belle III."

"Charmed, all of you," said Winston, giving each pet a firm handshake. "Now, from what I understand, you four broke into Pet Paradise because you thought it was a... a prison?"

"Well, what in Sam Hill else could it be?!" demanded Winona. "'Sides, that Sulu Candles fella told us that y'all were-"

"Oh, dear lord, not him," grumbled Winston, burying his face in his paw. "I don't know where he came from or why he holds such a massive grudge against me, but he's been trying to sully the good name of Pet Paradise for as long as I can remember. What was he saying about us this time?"

Winona's expression began to soften. "Well... he said that the ponies who run this place are tryin' to round up all these rare n' valuable critters and makin' 'em fight. And the ones who don't are thrown away. Is any o' that true?"

"Oh, heavens, no," Winston said with a chuckle. "He comes up with a new story about us every week, and I have to admit, that's one of the more creative ones.

"See, this institution is what's known as a pet store. Whenever a pony in the city is in need of a little companionship, they come here to buy a pet."

"Well, that sounds all right," said Winona. "But then where did all these critters come from? They weren't just snatched off the street, were they?"

"Excellent question, my lady. Before I answer it, though, I want you to take a moment to look at Pet Paradise's fine community."

Winona nodded and started ambling around the store. Of all the pets she came across, few looked even the least bit unhealthy. The dogs and cats sported neat, flea-free coats, the snakes' scales were polished to such a shine that they practically sparkled, and the hamsters were adorably plump and well fed.

"Now, do any of these look like animals that were just snatched off the streets?" asked Winston.

"N...no," Winona admitted.

"And that's because they weren't. All of the animals you see here were obtained from independent breeders."

"Independent what?"

"You'll understand when you're older. The point is that these animals were adopted from healthy, humane environments. On top of that, Pet Paradise is anything but exclusive; we adopt animals from all sorts of backgrounds, not just the rare and valuable ones. And I can assure you that nopony is making us fight."

Tank sighed with relief and hovered over to Winston's side. "In that case, I'm very sorry for all the trouble," he said. "We promise that we won't be bothering you again." Tank gave Winston another handshake and started hovering towards the door, only for Winona to grab him by the tail.

"Now hold on just a sec', Tank," she said, her face darkening. "Ah gotta feelin' that this varmint ain't tellin' us the whole story."

Tank reluctantly lowered himself to the ground. "What now?" he asked, slightly miffed.

"Y'see all these critters?" Winona asked, gesturing outward. "From cage to cage, they got perfect skin 'n perfect fur 'n perfect scales 'n perfect plumages. They's the picture of health, Tank. It looks like they ain't got a darn reason to complain."

Winona scowled. "But they do, Tank. Remember what ah told Owlowiscious? The moment ah walked in that store, ah saw pain n' fear shinin' through each of their eyes. An' even now, ah don't think ah saw a single smilin' face when ah took a walk 'round the store. There's somethin' keepin' these pets from bein' happy."

She shot a pointed glare at Winston. "And ah have a feelin' that you know what that is."

Winston laughed. "Oh, I can assure you, my lady, everything I've said thus far is the absolute truth. We're an equal opportunity pet store, all of our pets are fit as a fiddle, and nopony, I repeat, no pony, is forcing us to fight."

***

"Might as well get started," Factoid said with a sigh, picking up the two animals and setting them down next to him. "Guess I'll start with the rabbit. Good lord, this is going to take me all night."

With just a few clicks, he opened his web browser and typed 'rabbit breeds' into the search bar. Angel and Gummy watched with rapt attention as a flood of information flashed onto the laptop screen. Neither of them could understand a word of what was on screen, but there were plenty of pictures to look at, and it was somewhat exhilarating to see Factoid wade through that flood of text with such dexterity. Surfing from link to link, he jotted down all the information he could find onto his notepad, pausing occasionally to give Angel a closer look.

"All white coat," he mumbled as he continued to surf. "Upright ears, 'bout half the length of the body. Let's see... maybe he's a Rhinelander, from Germaney. OW!"

Angel panicked, leaped up and gave Factoid a hard smack across the back of the head. The last thing he wanted was to end up stuffed into a crate and shipped overseas.

"W- who did that?!" Factoid exclaimed, slamming his laptop closed and scanning the apartment for possible culprits. Then it dawned on him, and he looked down to see Angel glaring up at him.

"Did you do that?!"

Angel raised an eyebrow at the pony, giving him the best 'duh' look he could muster.

"Well, stop," he said sternly, rubbing the back of his head. "I need to concentrate."

Factoid took a deep breath, reopened his laptop and resumed his search. "Hmm... maybe he's an Appaloosan blanc."

*SMACK*

"OW! What the hay did I just tell you?!"

Factoid got no response from Angel, not that he was expecting one. He gave off a defeated sigh, shook off the pain and returned to his work. "Maybe he's a-"

Before he could finish, he caught Angel out of the corner of his eye, crouching and readying his paw. He looked down at the rabbit, fuming.

"Are you just going to hit me every time I get your breed wrong?!"

Angel shrugged.

"So be it," grumbled Factoid. "At least it'll let me get this over quickly." He braced himself for impact as he opened the largest and most comprehensive list of rabbit breeds he had found so far.

"Saddle Arabian Angora?" *SMACK*

"Canterlot Dwarf?" *SMACK*

"Maneglish Perifee?" *SMACK*

"Baltimare-" *SMACK*

"Fillydelphian-" *SMACK*

"...Elfin?"

Angel paused, withdrew his paw, and gave Factoid a tentative shrug.

Factoid breathed a sigh of relief, relishing the brief reprieve from Angel's assault. "All right, let's take a closer look at that one." With that, he opened the Elfin page and began to read it aloud.

"Location: some Elfin rabbits thrive in lush, vibrant environments, particularly Winsome Falls."

Just as Angel began to draw back his paw, Factoid grabbed it with his free hoof.

"Let me finish!" he shouted. "Ahem... however, Elfin rabbits can most commonly be found in the Everfree Forest."

Angel gasped with delight and gave Factoid an enthusiastic nod.

"Sweet Celestia, the Everfree Forest? That's where you're from?"

Angel nodded again. Technically, he was raised just outside the Everfree Forest, but he figured that this was as close as Factoid was going to get. Besides, he knew his way around the forest pretty well, and he could probably find his way home eventually if he was dropped there.

"No wonder you're such a nasty piece of work," Factoid said with a chuckle. "I'll just let Deep Dish know tomorrow morning. For now, I'll just get back to my fact checki-"

Factoid stopped when he felt a cold, scaly hand tapping him on the outer thigh. He looked down at his side to find Gummy, blankly staring up into his eyes.

"Oh, right," he groaned. "I forgot about you."

Comments

[Metool Bard]

Too bad Angel wasn't with Winona's group. He could've told them what an independent breeder is. That's what Fluttershy is, after all.

Also, I did once see a fan comic where Fluttershy found Angel in the Everfree Forest and saved him from a Diamond Dog, so maybe Factoid's on to something here.

[OmniFox]

Opalescence Luminosity Belle III? There was a Opal I and II?

[HMB]

4542707 I haven't read this story in almost 2 years. And you replied to it? This is kinda cool.

[Mayojar77]

Winona's being too suspicious. The pets are deliberately trying to look scared in order to be adopted.

[Themaskedferret]

Subtle

[Wroth]

4543680

That oddly does make a bit of sense as well, if you look all vulnerable for a pet owner, they'll just want to drop things in order to 'save' you. Kind of like a nurture instinct.

[Mayojar77]

4547353 How else would a cantankerous wart of a rabbit like Angel ever get an owner like Fluttershy?

[Wroth]

4547371

I'm pretty sure at times he 'adopted' her instead of the other way around.

Or he was a baby when she found him.

[Yoshifan30]

Hmm so far it's a turn of events here once again so Winona and the others found himself in the pet shop there was a chinchilla saying hello to the others but Winona try to break the cage lock but some odd reason some of the animals will not wanting to escape apparently what's a rat told him was a lie what the Pet Paradise was supposed to be is giving them a shelter and being a adopt by ponies but some odd reason it's too good to be true meanwhile angel and gummy are still at the pizza delivery boy Apartments and one of his roommate is trying to find where are those two come from I wonder if the other two knows what's going on