And Make It Snappy!

by Ficta_Scriptor

Chapter 2 - For A Few Bits More

Chapter 2 – For a Few Bits More

“Come on Gummy! This is going to be hard for the both of us, but I promise I’ll make it up to you as soon as I get back from Ibiza-Ville!”

Pinkie Pie had had a rope tied to her midsection, the other end wrapped around her pet crocodile. Gummy was refusing to walk, and was instead being dragged across the cobblestone by the bouncing pink mare, etching deep scratch marks into the road all the way from Sugarcube Corner to the other side of Ponyville.

Ponies that left their houses immediately leapt back inside once they’d caught sight of the massive gator, bolting the doors down and blockading the windows. An approaching couple shrieked in horror, the stallion jumping into the mare’s forelegs as she bolted in the opposite direction.

“Young love!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Such a crazy, beautiful thing!”

Just beyond the hill, a large building made of corrugated metal loomed, its outer walls covered with murals of cheerful animals running through a colourful meadow. At its side was an enclosed sanctuary filled with trees, tire swings and rope ladders. The sign above, accompanied by a picture of a certain yellow pegasus read:

Dedicated to Fluttershy
Who lives on in our hearts
As well as just in general

Pinkie Pie approached the entrance where a grumpy looking stallion was sat in a booth, gazing at a magazine. He didn’t even look up as the pair stood directly in front of him.

“Hello!” Pinkie cried. “I need a place to keep my cuddly, wuddly, cutesy, wutesy, adorable little pet for a few days!”

No response.

“I’ve brought a list of his favourite food, his favourite sports, and his favourite board games,” said Pinkie, hurling a rolled-up scroll into the stallion’s face. “If you don’t play scrabble with him at least twice a week he gets really cranky!”

No response.

“He’s also very particular about décor. He gets positively infuriated by the modern, minimalistic style. Also, he can get quite shy in crowded areas. If that happens, you may need to give him an hour-long cuddle.”

No response.

Confused, Pinkie waved her hoof in front of the stallion’s face. She flicked his magazine to a different page but he still kept staring at it intently. “Hello?”

Gummy sneezed loudly.

“You’re right!” she chirped, face-hoofing. The pink mare pressed her hoof down on the brass service bell. “Ding ding!”

“How can I help you, Miss?” the stallion asked politely, a massive grin across his face.

“Hello! I need a place for my pet to stay!”

“Absolutely!” he said exuberantly. “I just need to run through all the various costs…” He pressed a button, prompting a long roll of receipt to rise up from a hole in the desk. He ripped it off and put on a pair of reading glasses. “Let’s see here… Taking into account booking fees, travel costs, VAT, crocodile tax, coercive billing, living costs, the benefit scheme, insurance and accumulative arrears… You’re looking at a grand total of six bits.”

“Six bits!?” Pinkie cried angrily, thumping her hoof down. “I came here with five bits, and five bits is what I’m going to pay!”

“I’m sorry Miss, but we have strict standards regarding payment.”

“Well so do I!” she bellowed, “And my standards tell me not to pay more than I can afford!”

“That may be the case, but it is beyond me to change company procedure.”

“Surely there must be something you can do? Can’t you get your boss to make an exception for me? Please?” Pinkie pleaded, batting her eyelashes.

The stallion furrowed his brow. “Well, I guess I could call head office.” He brought out a rotary dial telephone and began inputting the number.

Many miles away, Fluttershy sat at her desk as CEO of Fluttershy Inc. The pegasus relaxed in her leather chair, watching as the beads of her Newton’s cradle swung back and forth. Suddenly, the phone rang.

BRRRING! BRRRING!

Fluttershy leapt in fright, toppling the chair over and scrambling to the wall. Her heart racing, she took three deep breaths to try and calm herself down.

BRRRING! BRRRING!

Very carefully, she crept towards the telephone, nervously picking it up and placing it to her ear.

“He… Hello?”

“FLUTTERSHY!”

The pegasus freaked, smashing the telephone to pieces with her hooves and shrieking at the top of her voice.

“I guess she’s not available,” the stallion said glumly, hanging up. “In that case, I can’t offer you any kind of discount.”

“Fine!” the young mare bellowed. “I don’t want him to stay here anyway! I’ll find a better animal shelter for Gummy! With candy! And balloons! In fact, forget the shelter!”

She angrily tossed the booth’s service bell into the distance and stormed off, dragging her bemused crocodile behind her.

“Don’t worry, Gummy. I’ll find a place for you to stay, even if it means going over my five-bit budget!”

---

“So… we just have to look after him for three days?” asked Scootaloo.

“That’s right! Just follow my instructions and everything should be A-OK!” Pinkie handed a scroll over to Sweetie Belle.

“Are ya sure ya trust us?” questioned Applebloom, eyeing the scaly beast anxiously. “Ah’m not sure if we’re ready for somethin’ like this.”

“Yeah… I agree,” said Sweetie Belle, poking a hoof at Gummy’s snout. “I’m not even sure we could get him in our clubhouse.”

“I’m sure Gummy can learn to climb if you just be extra nice to him!” Pinkie exclaimed. “And you won’t be going away empty-hooved. I humbly offer a fee of five bits for his care. And who knows, you might even be able to get your cutie marks…” she said slyly, holding out her coin-purse. “But I guess if you don’t want your cutie marks I can just take him somewhere else…”

“Five bits?” Applebloom said with a smile, turning to Scootaloo.

“Cutie marks?” Scootaloo said with a smile, turning to Sweetie Belle.

“We’ll do it!” cried the unicorn.

“Excellent!” Pinkie hopped into the air with glee, landing on top of her favourite crocodile and hugging him as hard as she could. “I’m going to miss you so, so much. You be a good boy for your babysitters, and when I get back, we’ll go on that boat ride across the lake and feed the ducks I’ve been promising for ages. How does that sound?”

Gummy merely blinked in response.

“I love you too!” Pinkie bellowed, kissing him on the head with tears in her eyes. “I’ve really got to go now. Take care, everypony. Bye!”

“Bye!” the Cutie Mark Crusaders hollered back in unison as Pinkie galloped off into the distance.

“So where do we begin?” asked Scootaloo excitedly.

“Let’s see here…” Sweetie Belle opened up the scroll that Pinkie had given her, reading through a list written out in pink crayon. “Sunglasses, gummy bears, glow-sticks, party hats, ginger ale, something control pills, origami paper, fishing rod, ‘transparent balloons’…” She threw the paper down in despair. “These aren’t Gummy’s instructions! This is Pinkie’s shopping list!”

“Oh, I’m sure everything will be fine,” dismissed Scootaloo. “Let’s start by getting him into the clubhouse. Over here, Gummy!” she called, gesturing with one hoof.

“Come on, Gummy!”

“Coo-ee! Gummy!”

“We’ve got crocodile treats in the clubhouse!”

Despite their best efforts, Gummy wouldn’t move an inch.

“Ah don’t think that’s gonna work,” said Applebloom, stroking her chin. “Ah think he needs a bit more encouragement.”

The three fillies lined up on one side of the gator and began to push with all their might, but still, he wouldn’t budge.

“We need somepony stronger to do this,” concluded Sweetie Belle. “Couldn’t Big Macintosh give him a lift?”

“Ah don’t know about that,” replied Applebloom, her eye-line drifting away. “After this one time a gosh-darned gator done nipped his fifth leg, Ah doubt he’d ever wanna see one again.”

As the crusaders took a seat on Gummy’s back, trying to figure something out, they were approached by a familiar pink filly and a playful Labrador puppy.

“Well if it isn’t the Cutie Mark Cry-babies!” taunted Diamond Tiara. “And what is that disgusting creature?”

“Buzz off, Tiara!” Scootaloo shot back. “It’s none of your business!”

“Well that has to be the absolute worst excuse for a pet I’ve ever seen!” she continued, as if she hadn’t been spoken to. “Not like my pet Foofie. He can backflip on command, clear up his own mess and can even speak dog sign language. What can yours do? Just stand there, menacingly?”

“This isn’t a ‘who has the best pet’ contest!” cried Sweetie Belle.

“You’re right, because I’ve already won!” The haughty filly let out a mischievous chuckle. “Now come along, Foofie. We have other places in which to be magnificent!” Diamond Tiara snorted, and turned on her hoof. After about ten or so steps, she stopped. “Foofie? Where are you!? What have you done with him!?”

“Don’t look at us!” spat Scootaloo. “We don’t want anything to do with your dumb dog!”

“Shut up!” Diamond Tiara ordered angrily. “Would you just help me look for him!?”

“Ah wonder if he went up to the clubhouse,” suggested Applebloom. “As much as Ah couldn’t give a boar’s rear about Tiara, Ah wouldn’t want a cute lil’ puppy gettin’ lost.”

The other two fillies nodded and ran up to the clubhouse, opening up cupboards, checking under the mat, and peering from the window. After about a minute of searching, they heard barking from outside.

“There he is!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle, pointing to the puppy that was now barking incessantly. “But where did Diamond Tiara go?”

Gummy nonchalantly scratched his underbelly and let out a resounding belch.

Comments

[Tatsurou]

Did...did Diamond Tiara just get eaten by Gummy?

[Mattricole]

That's...a bit harsh to do to a school filly, even if they're a bully.

[Ficta_Scriptor]

2076669
Hey, she's not dead! Not like poor Fluttershy... who's dead... serious about you following this fic!

[Mattricole]

2076748 Must...obey...fluttershy...

[Alpha Scorpii]

Gummy is so lucky... I want an hour-long cuddle from Pinkie Pie too!

[Donraj]

Would still really like to see more of this!

[Ficta_Scriptor]

2442174

Really sorry, but it's not likely that you will. I pretty much gave up on this fic because I thought it sucked, and I decided to concentrate more on some of my other stories. I do apologize...

[Donraj]

Aww.

Pity, I was loving it. There are so few Gummy fanfics with proper characterization.

[Showmare Trixie]

Ah, now I can say that I've read one of your works! Now I don't feel awkward about following you.

In any case, I don't have much to say about this so far... it doesn't really seem very memorable, something I'd read, get amused by, then forget about the second I leave.

It's full of references, though there doesn't seem to be much... dunno, punch to them. Like they are just there, over being funny. Will need to wait for the full thing before I try to criticize though.

[Ficta_Scriptor]

2611210

It's funny you should make these comments, because I gave up on this fic ages ago because I was so unhappy with it. I was honestly going to cancel it completely, but I decided to just put it on hiatus for now.

Thanks for at least reading one of my fics, even if it is one of my least proud works. For comedy I'd definitely recommend either Brass Pony: Cloppers or P.A.T.A. Ponies Against Twilight The Alicorn instead of this. Quite how this got 100% upvotes is beyond me.

[Showmare Trixie]

2611243

Oh, well, that's good. I was really straining to say something positive about it.

In any case, I'm not necessarily much of a fan of comedies...

... Actually, how the hell did I even find this? It's not in my read-later list or anything.

Ah well, I'll go look for your other works, like you suggested.