You know, I always say I'd like to read Pink Eyes, or Murky Number Seven; but I never seem to get the time to do so between college and my own projects, be it art or literature.
I have the chance to finally start... and I read this.
I do not regret it one bit. What a way to start off a story, I'm surprised this hasn't gotten more views, much less comments and likes. I'm gonna stick with this intriguing and, in some parts, funny tale. I only spotted one error (is it even an error?) while reading: “Of course ah c'n hear you dahlin',” she exclaimed, switching to another stallion's voice.
Poor creature. It must be awful to be three or more ponies jammed together, each clamoring to be in control and yet not quite fully in command of yourself, so to speak.
This is a breath of fresh air! I saw this in Fuzzy's favorites, and just from the first chapter, I can see why.
Your diction is impressive, stringing words and phrases together I very rarely see from any single fledgling writer. (Or maybe your an accomplished author under the guise of a fanfiction writer, in which case... Hi.) No logic problems whatsoever; I don't feel like I have to expand my suspension of disbelief past the lore of Ponies/Fallout which is a nice change of pace after powering through 20 or so chapters of PH.
I don't even think I spotted a typo (I admit, that somewhat frustrates me considering I often overlook my own mistakes).
Don't even know if you'll ever see this comment, but hey, if you do, just know that you've got yourself a new reader.
Posting my thoughts over on the clouds, thought I'd let you know over here. Not bad overall though, so far.
You know, I always say I'd like to read Pink Eyes, or Murky Number Seven; but I never seem to get the time to do so between college and my own projects, be it art or literature.
I have the chance to finally start... and I read this.
I do not regret it one bit. What a way to start off a story, I'm surprised this hasn't gotten more views, much less comments and likes. I'm gonna stick with this intriguing and, in some parts, funny tale. I only spotted one error (is it even an error?) while reading: “Of course ah c'n hear you dahlin',” she exclaimed, switching to another stallion's voice.
Now the only thing left to say
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvmswyXv421qgfkxyo1_500.gif
2723529
Ha! Yep.
You are so lucky for not having read Pink Eyes, yet. It's my favorite of all the FO:E stories.
Murky Number 7 is also fantastic. Fuzzy's no slouch.
Wow! That typo. What a shame, Mittens. What a shame. (Mittens was my main editor at this point.)
Just started reading this.
Poor creature. It must be awful to be three or more ponies jammed together, each clamoring to be in control and yet not quite fully in command of yourself, so to speak.
Wow.
This is a breath of fresh air! I saw this in Fuzzy's favorites, and just from the first chapter, I can see why.
Your diction is impressive, stringing words and phrases together I very rarely see from any single fledgling writer. (Or maybe your an accomplished author under the guise of a fanfiction writer, in which case... Hi.) No logic problems whatsoever; I don't feel like I have to expand my suspension of disbelief past the lore of Ponies/Fallout which is a nice change of pace after powering through 20 or so chapters of PH.
I don't even think I spotted a typo (I admit, that somewhat frustrates me considering I often overlook my own mistakes).
Don't even know if you'll ever see this comment, but hey, if you do, just know that you've got yourself a new reader.