Symbolism
Symbolism
Jason plodded through the forest quietly, Dash pressed into his side harder then ever. Maybe it was partially out of the fact that she was tired, or as he liked to think, maybe she was scared. He knew she couldn't see anything, but after all this fighting, he knew by now that Dash could easily stare down a manticore without so much as flinching. She stumbled and muttered something under her breath, quickly standing up straighter as she tried harder to avoid the scattered obstacles.
It seemed much further to camp than it had been to fly there, but after Dash had pointed out that flying didn't seem like a good idea, he couldn't possibly hope to argue. Not that he was going to, it was surprisingly easy to get drowsy flying in a straight line. And considering they were both as sleepy as they were, he wasn't sure if he'd notice Dash dropping, let alone react quickly enough.
He stumbled over some sort of cloth and stopped to toss it over his back, That probably wasn't the best idea, but he was tired, and thinking didn't come naturally anymore.
Jason walked through a bush that was silhouetted by light from the camp before walking out into an open, slightly wooded area. Whoever had come here before they arrived, they'd done a good job of packing down the dirt and removing bushes. It was a nice camp, Jason decided as he looked around. Leaning oaks blocked out the crescent moon as they created leafy roofs over the clearing. Shining was right when he said there was only a small area of land-able clearing, this group of oaks alone blanketed an area about the same size.
Jason looked around to get his bearings for a moment, wiping at his eye with a hoof. Dash dropped for a moment before she caught herself, presumably after almost falling asleep. The pair stumbled down the row of tents that were still being built, before getting to the ones that had just recently been completed. Jason eyed a sign in front of one that read Reserved to high command before walking inside with a chuckle, amused at the title. He brought Dash over to the middle of the tent and sat her down.
"Get off your stuff, okay? I'll go get a cloud." He turned to leave before a hoof at his shoulder stopped him.
"Don't fall asleep, okay?" Dash asked, looking him in the eye a little dizzily.
"Sure, I'll be right back." He yawned and trotted out, hoping that the movement would wake him up. It didn't do much, and he sighed as he flapped his wings and got airborne. Air-borne...Air... His eyes shot back open. He hadn't even realized he was falling asleep. Jason was so distracted that he didn't notice a cloud directly in his path until it was too late.
The cloud made a soft 'pomf' noise as he made contact, sinking a ways into the bottom before it spit him back out like elastic. Jason turned over in the air rather calmly before swooping back up and grabbing the cloud with a hoof. He didn't like the haze sleepiness put over everything. It was like some sort of uncomfortable drug, impairing every minute amount of movement or thought.
Jason realized he was suddenly back at the tent and pulled the cloud inside, watching it almost seem to flow through the opening at the water molecules attempted to stay with their brethren. Dash had almost started doing something. She'd fallen asleep sitting up, and had somehow managed to keep from falling over.
"Dash, wake up!" He whispered, watching as her eyes fluttered open. "Just get your stuff off and we can sleep."
"Fine, you win." She grabbed her saddlebag and released the straps, letting it slide down her back and onto the floor before she clumsily untied the rope keeping the riot shield against her back. It fell and rocked around before coming to a rest, and she got up to pull the cloud into the back of the tent. A few moments went by before she decided that getting a blanket was worth the extra time, and fetched one from her saddlebag.
She climbed onto the bed and collapsed on her stomach, partially pulling the blanket on top of herself. Jason chuckled weakly and got on as well, moving a hoof to grab a corner of the blanket from her side. His other fore hoof slipped slightly and he managed to sweep his hoof along the edge of her wing, something that immediately splayed out from the attention.
"Jason, why?" Dash mumbled, turning her head to look at the wing.
"I'm sorry." He laid down next to her, throwing an arm over her back.
"I can't sleep sideways with my wings like this." She said, poking at the primaries of one of her wings lazily. Jason stuck a hoof under her chest and grunted, pulling her onto his chest and levitating the blanket over the both of them. Dash gave a disapproving glance towards the large bulges created by her wings.
"They'll go back to normal, just sleep." Jason murmured, leaning up to kiss her.
"Easy for you to say."
"Hey your wings look pretty when they're all spread out like that. You should do that more often when it's just us."
"I figured you'd at least make fun of me." She said with a light giggle. "What have you done with the real Jason?"
"I killed him." Another giggle. Her wings were at least starting to return to normal, the blanket conforming more to their usual features.
"Night, Jason. I love you."
"Love you too, Dash." He replied, not sure if she heard the response as she dipped into slumber. Jason barely had time to ponder the idea before he followed suit.
______________________________________________________
One thing about dreaming: Jason never woke up into a dream. He was just there, suddenly in existence. And following the pattern of war related dreams, not that it wasn't completely without reason, his eyes came into focus looking down the scope of a rifle. A few shanties were distorted by the heat, sitting on a hill a ways away.
"You going to explain this or should I just lay here?" Dash asked, holding a spotting scope as she laid on the rocky ground next to him.
"Uh, well this is a sniper rifle, and this could be Afghanistan. But it's a dream, there's not that much I know for certain."
"Hotel company, you have clearance to fire at any and all personnel in the area, intelligence checks out." Came a voice from Jason's earpiece.
"Who was that?" Dash asked, pulling the earpiece off and looking at it.
"It's like the walkie talkie from before. Just more advanced."
"Okay, and this telescope serves what purpose exactly? I can't shoot with it, right?"
"No, you-" He saw some movement between two of the buildings in the scope. "Dammit."
"What?"
"Missed a window there. Anyway, you help me look for guys to shoot, and you should have some sort of table of where to aim based on distance, temperature and wind speed."
"Yeah, but why does that matter?"
"At close range it means nothing, but bullets drop the same way anything else does. They get blown by wind, all that stuff."
"So basically I tell you where to shoot and how to adjust?"
"Yeah. We're apparently taking out some terrorists down there from this ridge, but I can't really be sure. These dreams don't usually come with an instruction manuel." Dash nodded, and they were silent for the next several minutes. She suddenly shifted and pointed out a target with her middle finger, causing Jason to chuckle.
"Down there, in the courtyard, you see him?"
"Yeah, where do I aim?"
"Huh? Oh, what angle are we at?"
"What?"
"We're looking down, we need an angle!"
"Don't you have something for that?"
"I just have this level and protra- god dammit. Hold on a sec. Usually I'm not this stupid."
"We'd be such terrible snipers."
"Hey, wait a few more minutes before you pass judgement." She got a reading and marked it down, using her fist to grip a pencil.
"Three fingers."
"What?"
"You use the first three, like a little tripod."
"Is this really the time?"
"Well I can't read that, so yeah." She glared at him and he chuckled.
Dash tried again, slowly writing her number. "Eight degrees. Adjust twelve feet up, four to the right, and-- wait, three back down."
"He's still just sitting there, we ready?"
"Go ahead."
BANG!
Dash flinched as the sound contacted her ears, watching an almost comically large shell land in front of her, red hot from the gun. A white puff of dust appeared next to the lookout, and he bolted for cover.
"You missed."
"Shit." Another few minutes passed as they observed the group of buildings.
"Why're we wearing all this stuff if it's so hot?!" Dash complained, starting to take off the desert camouflage.
"Stop, Dash! They're going to know where we are if we start taking things off."
"But-"
"And there's bulletproof armor underneath, I don't think you want to be without that."
"But-" Jason groaned and reached onto her shoulder, disconnecting the tube to her Camelback.
"There's water in this, just try to be quieter." She nodded and smiled, giving him an expression that made Jason think she was just trying to screw with him.
"Movement, there's a guy aiming a thing at us." She said, squinting through the scope as she stared at the enemy. A low whistle contacted their ears as the man fired his weapon and ran for cover.
BANG!!
"Got him." Dash said. Jason figured out what the terrorist had shot and jumped backwards, pulling Dash back onto the other side of the ridge. An explosion greeted their ears as a few rocks and pebbles rained down.
"What?"
"It was a rocket. Propels itself, explodes on contact." Jason looked her over for a moment, before putting his hands to her chest. "Breasts." He said, his face drawn.
"Dammit Jason, get off!" She yelled back, pushing him away halfheartedly.She heard the crunch of gravel underfoot and swiveled, looking to the side as another person, wrapped up in much the same way as the others, starting to appear around the hill.
She got to her feet and pulled a gun from her chest, aiming it at the unknown. Jason swatted the gun sideways as she fired, throwing a couple bullets off into the distance.
"Hands up!" Jason yelled. "Get on the ground with your hands on your head!" The civilian seemed to panic.
"Wait-"
"Shut up! On the ground!" There was another panic before he dove to the ground and landed with a feminine groan. Jason kept the gun on her head as he walked over, carefully grabbing hold of the cloth blocking her face and pulling it away.
"Evening?" Dash asked, looking on from a little ways away.
"Yeah, what's the big idea with pointing guns at me?"
Jason shrugged. "You looked hostile. Still do, kind of."
"But why aren't we somewhere comfortable? This sucks!"
"Stop complaining. Dash isn't even complaining right now." He leaned forward, putting a hand to one side of his mouth. "And you know how she likes to complain."
"Thanks, Jason." Dash replied, rolling her eyes.
"Listen for a sec. I don't know how these things end, sometimes one of us dies, or whatever, but let's at least do something. I kinda want to take out those terrorists."
Dash shrugged. "I'm in, I guess."
"Do I get a gun?" Evening asked. "Wait." She patted herself down and pulled an AK out from under the back of her shirt. "Yeah, here we go." She said, gingerly stroking at the gun.
"We suck at being soldiers." Jason said, deadpan.
____________________________________________________
"Jason, why do I need all this stuff?!" Dash complained as she climbed over a rock.
"It's a dream Dash, at least try to enjoy it."
"But Jaaaaason-" She whined, a smile crossing her face as she noticed the annoyance on his. They walked over a low ridge and the buildings came into view again, just as boring and unchanging as usual. He took a look through the sniper scope before returning the weapon to his back and picking up the M4A1 from its sling around his chest.
He threw back a hand signal and quietly moved forward, staying behind dead bushes and piles of rocks as he zig zagged closer. As he looked back he chuckled at Evening's attempts to stay hidden. But hey, terrorists weren't known for their intelligence.
Eventually Jason got to the buildings and pressed himself against the back of one before slowly moving to one side. Dash reflected his movements on the other side, peering around to look for enemies. But the camp seemed empty, minus the gory body that Jason had sniped earlier.
They moved into the center of the camp, before moving towards one of the buildings. Jason flanked one side of the door, looking back to see the situation with Evening. A hostile ran a few steps out of one of the doorways, spraying bullets randomly. Jason hit the dirt, looking up immediately to check that Dash had gotten behind cover as well. There were a few boxes between them and the guy, so chances are they were safe.
Jason waited a few more seconds until he heard a click and popped up, watching the tango flop on the ground, a bullet wound through his head.
"Did I- Did I kill him?" Evening asked, staring at the gun held awkwardly in her hands.
"Yeah, good job." Jason replied, returning back to the door. He pulled a grenade off his chest and pulled the pin, tossing it inside.
________________________________________________________________
Jason's eyes opened slowly, and he immediately felt slightly annoyed at the fact that the dream had ended so anticlimactically.
"Fuuuuuck." He groaned, moving a hoof down his face.
"Mhrm, Jason, what?"
"I didn't sleep well." He replied, yawning widely and rubbing at an eye. "I used to be a morning person too, so this is kinda ironic."
"Why would you want to be a morning person?"
"I dunno, I just got annoyed that I missed so much of the day. Sounds pretty stupid, huh?"
"I guess, I dunno." A smile spread across her face. "You want to see your surprise?"
"Go ahead, you've made me excited enough already, whether that's for better or for worse."
"Okay stay here a second!" She jumped up and clamored over to her saddlebag, folding out her wings to block the area from his eyes. Jason let his head fall back against the bed. They'd forgotten to make pillows, he realized with some disdain. This day wasn't starting out well, as his slight headache reminded him.
"You ready?" Dash asked. At least there was something to lighten his mood...
"Sure, wow me." He said, starting to match her grin.
"Hopefully I don't have to explain it to you, but here goes." She put a hoof to her chin in thought. "Actually, close your eyes."
Jason chuckled, but followed her directions. A part of his mind made him think that maybe this wasn't the tangible part of Dash's surprise after all, until he felt some slight softness slip over his ears and mane, coming to rest around his neck. A necklace, then? He hadn't really been sure what to expect, but he hadn't seen something like this coming, he mused.
"Go ahead, open your eyes." He did, and immediately looked down at something that almost resembled a tiny wing. Jason cradled it with a hoof, amazed at how soft it felt to his touch. It looked so perfect, without a single noticeable blemish that he could see. That meant a lot more when it came to Dash, she wasn't an artsy pony in any way. And considering her lack of magic and fingers, well, there was no way he could even come close to making something like this.
"Do you like it?" Dash asked, biting her lip as she waited for him to say something.
"It's amazing, Dash." He paused, looking up into her eyes. "You said you might have to explain it to me, what exactly did you mean?"
"So you don't get it?" She asked, a little downtrodden.
"Well I get that it's the best gift I've ever received, but if there's more than that, please, enlighten me." He abruptly leaned forward to meet her lips, putting a hoof to her cheek. "Cheer up, Dash."
A slight smile broke through her façade of nervousness, and she leaned back in for another kiss. She paused another moment before continuing. "A long time ago, feathers used to mean a lot to pegasi, they were like giving away part of yourself even though they fall out and regrow. But as time went on they became less important and the tradition of feather exchange was less prevalent. I knew it didn't mean all that much, but it was something I'd wanted to do with you for a long time, even if it was a fruitless gesture." She leaned against his chest. "But I did anyway, and I hope it means more to you now. It's the value I wanted it to have, even if it doesn't appear that way."
"Well I guess you set your sights too low then. I love it. I love you." He drew her into another kiss, which quickly turned heavy as Dash pushed the second part of her 'surprise,' overjoyed with the fact that she had given him something that was one of a kind--and that he actually loved it.
"Hey, Dash, slow down." He pushed her back a few inches until she was out of range to keep kissing at him.
"What?" She asked, a glint of worry in her eye.
"Two things. One, I never thanked you. Two, I should really take this off so that it doesn't get crumpled. It's worth too much for that." He ran a hoof down her shoulder. "I'll be happy to wear it all the rest of the time though." He got off the bed, touching the miniature wing as it hung around his neck.
"Where are you going?"
"Just bear with me." He looked around, before moving outside. A horrendous racket was heard, she couldn't figure out from what, before he came back in with a fabric bag and the fifty cal container. He opened the bag and dumped in the bullets, before grabbing a chunk of cloud out of the corner of the bed and packing it into the box.
"How come I can pack clouds into things, yet other things go through them? Our stuff's out there, by the way."
Dash shrugged. "Must be something with pegasus magic. It only works like that with small samples anyway." Jason nodded and took off the wing, smiling at it as he set it onto the cloud, where it almost seemed to hover above the surface. He closed the box and latched it shut.
"See, safe."
Dash giggled, tapping the box as he carried it over. "I think you went a little overboard."
"I don't think you grasp how much I like this." He replied, watching her face light up a little more.
"And I don't think you grasp how much I love you." She said, grabbing one of his fore hooves and pulling him onto the bed. Dash giggled as he nipped at an her ear, swatting at his cheek to try to end the tickling sensation.
"Oh you like it." He chuckled, kissing behind an ear.
"Why can't we just cut to the chase, Jason? It's always tease, tease, tease with you."
"A great man once said, uh, something to the extent of," He raised an arm, impersonating a philosopher. "'It's not the destination, but the journey it takes to arrive there.' Really, the--" Dash stuck her hoof into his mouth, frowning.
"Jason! Take a hint!"
"I'm just screwing with you, come here." He put his hooves around her back, pulling her into himself. "I love you too, by the way." Jason leaned over and lightly kissed her on the muzzle, before the last of Dash's control broke and she pounced.
(Optional... well, you people know the drill by now. clop. )
__________________________________________________
"Jason. Jason. Jason." Dash said, poking him in the cheek. He'd been practically comatose for the last--while in the time she'd been up. Not that she could blame him, she thought with a smirk. He said he hadn't slept well last night anyway, he had a right to sleep.
But she was so bored...
She rolled on top of him, folding up her legs so that she rested flush with his chest as her legs straddled him on either side. Dash looked around before she stretched out a hoof and grabbed the fifty cal box, moving it over to the bed next to Jason's shoulder.
She struggled for a moment to get the latch undone, and scraped the side of her hoof in the process. Dash stuck the hoof into her mouth, tearing up slightly at the pain as she tried not to make any noise. Eventually she recovered and carefully pulled out the necklace, looking at it strangely.
Dash'd expected him to like it, at least partially, but he seemed to genuinely consider this one of the best things he'd ever gotten, judging by what she could at least tell was a positive fluctuation in the small amount of hive mind she could detect.
So why, then, had he liked it so much? This wasn't expensive, it was a fair amount of work, but he seemed to like it before she'd told him the significance. Not that she was going to downplay it, but it seemed strange. Maybe she could just ask him why. The feathers grew back, it wasn't as if she was giving him a part of herself that was irreplaceable. She probably would anyway, but it just wasn't that significant.
Better question, why was she trying to understand everything Jason did? After three months, she couldn't really predict what he was going to do outside of stressful situations. Even then, he'd decide to goof off at random and without warning. Not that she didn't like it, it lightened her mood. And knowing everything he was going to do before he did it would be a new level of boredom. But sometimes, it could come in handy.
Jason shifted under her, trying to roll over until he subconsciously realized he was stuck. One of his fore hooves brushed against hers, and he wasted no time in wrapping her leg up and pulling it to his chest. A smile immediately greeted his face as he squished her hoof. It definitely wasn't uncomfortable, he was nice and warm against her limb.
At least he was showing signs of life at this point, she'd been a little worried earlier. Although, there wasn't much to be worried about, maybe she was still worried about the little wing, set out in front of her on the bed. Would he wake up and decide he didn't like it?
Why was she so worried about this? She should have boatloads of self confidence, she always had before... But this was different, this was with Jason, it didn't matter if she could beat him or any other pony in a race, she just cared too much about what he thought. Maybe that was a handicap, she shouldn't have to care as much as she did. Hell, maybe she cared too much. Did that even work? Caring too much?
Jason shifted again, before one of his eyes opened slightly. He squinted against the bright light in the tent, trying to bring his eyes to focus on the cyan face hovering above his.
"Hey Dash." He said, his mouth spreading into a smile. Jason leaned up and pecked at her cheek, grinning wider as she started to come around. "Why so glum?" He asked.
"I dunno, probably just my imagination again." She replied softly.
"About the gift, huh?" Jason asked, surprising her with his perceptiveness.
"Yeah, I don't know why you like it so much."
"Well wasn't that the idea?" He grabbed the wing and put it back around his neck.
"Yeah, but--"
"Listen Dash, the gift's great and all, but the reason I like it is that it came from you, and that it's something that you said was part of yourself. It's the symbolism I care about, more than the awesome craftsmanship. Stop questioning my logic here, just quit while you're ahead."
"Fine." Dash replied with a giggle, nuzzling at the fur on his forehead. "How come sometimes you have a horn, and other times you just leave it out?"
"It seems random, I guess. I don't have a system or anything."
"I love how you always think things through."
"That's too much work, what do you take me for?"
"Good point." She replied, giggling.
"Well I guess we better get up." Jason said, putting his hooves around her back as he sat up, holding her to his form. He tipped her onto her back, leaning down and giving her a quick kiss before extracting himself from the covers.
"Cadence comes in today, we should probably get out there and see if there's anything shining needs done."
"Yeah," Jason replied, "he's probably freaking out about something around now." Dash snorted in laughter.
"I can't see shining acting any differently, to be frank."
Jason grabbed an apple and chucked it over to her, hearing crunching noises a matter of milliseconds later. She shivered a little, grabbing the blanket and pulling it over her shoulders.
"Cold?" Jason asked, walking around in the tent to try to get his blood flowing.
"A little." She said, shivering again. Jason walked over to where he had discarded all of his stuff the night before, looking for the cloth he had picked up. He moved his saddlebag, exposing a black hoodie.
"You want to try something Dash?" He asked, sniffing at the pullover. It smelled clean, as far as he could tell.
"As long as I don't get colder."
He tossed her the sweatshirt, chuckling as she looked it over in confusion. "Here, I'll get it." He hopped back onto the bed and sat behind her, holding a hoof around her chest.
"Put your arms up." He said, stroking her chest. "You don't wear anything like this?"
"Pretty much just dresses." Dash replied, with a slight snicker. "I would've tried harder, but I like this option more." Jason laughed, bringing the clothing over her arms and carefully pulling it down. It got a little stuck of her hooves, before he gave it another tug and it slid into the correct position.
"There, better?" He asked, tapping the side of her head with a hoof.
"I feel like an eskimo in this." She said, twisting her neck to look up into his eyes. "It's pretty cozy."
"So we're good to go then?"
"Yeah." Jason gave her a squeeze before he got up and started towards the door. "Wait." He turned, watching Dash bite her lip. "You don't think...we could teleport again?"
Jason put a hoof to his chin. "Well, I don't really know where Shining's tent is..." He paused, his slight frown turning into a smile. "That doesn't mean we can't teleport around until we find it though." Dash jumped up from the bed, galloping over happily. "You liked it, I take it?"
"Yeah, you kinda miss it once it's gone." Jason peeked out the tent flap, looking towards the clearing part of camp where he assumed Shining's tent was. He stretched a hoof back, waiting for Dash to make contact. She seemed to contemplate the movement for a moment before he felt contact and teleported.
They reappeared a hundred or so feet away, next to a small group of bushes. He pulled Dash closer jokingly and wrapped his leg around hers, before teleporting again.
They reappeared in the middle of the airstrip, and remained for a second or so before Jason spotted what he hoped was Shining's tent.
Another whoosh as the air equalized, and Jason checked for Dash before looking back up towards the tent. He walked in a few seconds later, chuckling at the extra-windblown look that he mane had taken on.
"What?"
"Just your mane, it's all spiky!"
"It's always spik-wow." She stroked a hoof across her hair, marveling slightly at the prevalent red spike.
"How's mine? Sexy beast as always?"
She giggled. "Sure, let's go with that."
"Oh, I got it, more spiky. Hold on." He spaced out for a second before his mane grew longer and spikier. "Better?"
"Definitely." She replied, sticking a hoof into his mane.
"Everything good, Shining?" Jason asked, even though it was blatantly obvious that everything didn't look alright.
"No! My wife's going to be here soon, and I don't know what she's going to think about this whole thing! I know that's not a major issue, but I haven't-- I dunno, I'm just--I miss her. It's not like it's the best time, either."
"Yeah, I get it." Jason murmored. "I have the same thing with Scoots."
"Sucks, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, hopefully you have one of those paper things with her, right?" Dash asked, gesturing to the pile of pads of paper on his desk.
"Yeah, it's right..." His face seemed to go a little pale, at least from what Jason could tell under his white fur. "Oh shit, she's landing!" He galloped outside amidst chuckles from Jason and Dash, soon followed by other murmurs as Evening woke up in her bunk.
"Evening, you wanna go see the princess?!" Jason asked, much more loudly than he needed to.
"Leave me alone, I'll be out in a while." She pulled a pillow over her head and held it there, attempting to block out the sound.
Dash giggled at her reaction and left, not waiting for Jason to catch up. He trotted after her, pushing through the crowd that was already accumulating and pushing towards the landing strip. A few ponies protested, most of them recognizing his form, which he dropped as he got closer to the front.
The rather lackluster buggy, he could assume so that it wasn't an obvious target, landed with a thunk, followed by another thunk as he could only assume that the princess hit the front wall. Dash exchanged a knowing look and a muffled giggle, before returning her attention to the passenger.
A slightly dizzy Cadence stepped out, with Shining at her side, as the crowd erupted into cheers. Jason pointed out a griffin across the way that looked partially confused, until Eravel seemed to inform him of the power Cadence had. The griffin seemed confused, asking several other questions before he started to clap. Jason could assume that the questions were related to her power and why there were three princesses in the first place.
Well, in any case, it should be interesting to see how her visit would complicate things. With the magnitude of her presence, secrecy and planning would only be harder. Like Shining had said, it wasn't the best time.
But when did things ever go smoothly, anyway?
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What the absolute hell?
These chapters didn't show up in my favorite box again!
I'm getting quite angry with my favorites box and not showing me my updates.
Anybody know how to fix it ?
ERA(Equestrian Royal Army)
Cute symbolism is always cute
If I could draw I'd help you, sadly my ponies look like oddly shaped dogs with bushy tails.
For character listing, it should be based on the most importance over the entire story.
As an unofficial General in the Equestrian Army
, I would like to send a message to Field Marshall Tail on Captain Armor's blatant disregard for the rules of visitors being first oked by the High Command. In this I feel that proper punishment should be given.
Thank you,
General Crimson Shield
*I shall get to the bottom of this supposed good changeling; and he shall lead me to the Queen, and I shall stomp on her like the bug she is.* (He lost one front hoof and an eye during the Changeling invasion on 5th Army'a base north of Canterlot.) Creating random OCs to create interesting comments, 1 day at a time.
For now...Shining's in the back seat;Jason and RD are driving; and Scoots is riding Shotgun. So until Shining has another big part, he's not really a Maine Character as far as I'm concerned.
2432149 Unfavorite it, then Re-favorite it. That should reset the issue.
2432318 Thank you very much, I shall try that now
Well, I would help you, but
I'm a lazy motherfucker.I have no time.Why not, I'll speak an opinion. I think the character tags should be the ones who have a good chunk of 'screen time' and ones who affect the story. Shining has plenty of screen time, and is a good part of the story, he can be replaced with a more impacting character. That is my opinion, which probably doesn't hold much ground, seeing as I have never written a story for non-academic reasons.
Hope I was useful! Love your story still. You're a great writer.
Shining does seem like a side-character, thats for sure. And if he doesn't show up too much after the war then it would be fine to remove him from the lineup, at least in my opinion :p I have a REALLY awesome artist friend that I could try and get to draw something as well... I'll talk to him about it. Keep up the awesome work with the story! Looking forward to the next chapter~
-Kyllier
2432916
Thanks! I really hope your friend wants to do something, I'll try not to be too demanding. It shouldn't be too hard, realistically. Bah! What do I know? I can hardly draw a stick man.
2433095
I will... In due time. Just like it's the war now, it's going to be a lot of that later. Fairly soon, as it turns out. Basically they'll go back to Ponyville, and then soul magic will come back into the picture.
"I think this is gonna go off on a high note."
"Oh please this is go downhill faster than the scout drinking bonk!"
This story is too good to have as few likes as it has. I like where you are taking this. The plot is great, the characters feel natural, the content is original and well thought-out. Except for the pony cities, the setting is almost entirely original. The story as a whole has unknown, unpredictable elements that turn up all the time to prevent me from predicting huge chunks of the story, (which is always good, predictable stories aren't interesting). This is in all honesty one of the best stories I have had the privilege to read.
I suck at art, but I could try my hand for you. Sometimes I surprise myself, and actually make something good (I don't have control of my abilities, and I haven't attempted to do anything like this this before, but if you tell me what you want, i might be able to do it).
<rant> Fimfiction's favorite box has been lying to me lately, and you're updates were not revealed to me until a couple hours ago (3 of them no less!), and I have to subtract five from the number of story updates/unread chapters it has in order to get the correct number of updates (because it claims that five stories have an unread update that don't exist) How many updates have escaped my notice because of this problem? Now I need to manually check some things...</rant>
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Let me first say: Thanks for all that, I love the compliments, and it's the people like you that I write for.
But in terms of the art, if you want to try your hand at it, make sure to tell me, by a reply to this or by PM, and I'll send you a(nother) PM with information. I have to make sure I know all the colors first, but I mostly know what I want. At that point you can decide whether you want to do it or not. Like I said, it shouldn't be hard, but I guess I won't necessarily accept it. I don't have all that high of standards though, so I wouldn't be worried.
I think part of the update problem was that this site screwed stuff up last Tuesday when I was trying to update, and it led to me publishing things before they were ready. So that apparently means that people didn't get notified when that chapter was released for real. Oh, Fimfiction.
Sorry for this wall of text.
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So many corrections...
I don't know, your Campaign seems to be going well so far.
(Possible Idea for a Dream, Middle ages, Just for the awkward moment of Dash talking to a horse)
Hold up! The story ain't gonna end once the war is over?!?! You have made me very happy, thank you!
Also, can't forget good guy gryphon, clapping for Cadence.
Oh boy, now Cadence is getting in on things ? I sense an oncoming shitstorm.
Id say add whichever tags you feel best fit the story as a whole, not just what fits at the moment. If shining ends up not being a major role after all, remove him from the tags, and if another pony ens up making a big impact, add em in. Simplifies things nicely that way.
Also, freaking LOVING the news about the story not ending after the war. I was worried it was drawing to a close! Now I have more to look forward to.
This is more humoures than my leg.
You don't need 5 character tags, that's just the limit. Only characters that are in the story should be on it(and not if their just in a scene or two.)
Things will be interesting with Cadance being in a war zone so to speak.
Have a hoodie Dash.
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In my opinion the only character tags you need are Changeling, OC, and Rainbow Dash.
One does not simply pass up a chance at squeezing a nice pair of boobies - quote from a meme.
This one is really enjoying your story so far, more like it please.
I cant take listening to you almost crying about opinions anymore.
Plus an extra featuring little scoots, while Dash and Jason is of to war.
I normally comment regularly on stories, but you have a full three parts up now.
Yet you cry yet again for opinions so I will finally wreck my system for you.
So I thought would give you my opinion about the story as a whole.
The winds of change is a somewhat rare story as it features both a take of everyday life, a war between races as well as the troubles of two worlds interfering with another. These are a somewhat heavily used clichés, that is isn't getting any younger or better.
This all pulls down on my scale... Normally...
If you weren't so good at writing about and explaining the troubles that comes with a human in Equestria, then it would a minus on this story.
Another normal minus would be for the "My oc becomes friends with everyone" cliché but yours don't have that. You wrote about how the ponies of Ponyville reacted to a changeling all of a sudden appearing in Ponyville right after their races capital had been attacked by the before mentioned race. You also kindly remind us several times over and over that even though he does good things then sophisticated brains can be stereotypical.
Besides your character is a changeling which isn't that normal of a character base yet you pulled your character through as a human in a changeling. (which I have seen once in a while)
I rate this story: 4/5
My verdict: The Winds of Change contains a lot of good things and as far as my eyes go insignificant mistakes.
They say that as the story develops so does the author, this change most come by itself and it will happen if you take your time.
I give this story 4/5 because you are an excellent writer and good story teller. Something that you could have done was to make sure that Jason actually changed as the story went along. You shouldn't make him change from one day to another, but with small subtle changes on ways of thinking and point of views, stuff like that.
And its first now that I sit and remember you weren't asking for a review...
Whoops...
I started the review like:
Then I remembered I was using a phone:
So I decided to use a pc to edit the comment:
I ended up rewriting the entire thing:
Then I discovered you wanted an opinion, not a review:
And now I simply don't know what to do:
So just ignore the mass of text below...
Please?
Oh boy, I wonder how the princess will take the fact that her husband is partners with a changeling and taking care of one. Also I bet these dreams will surely help them out against the inevitable fight against Chrysalis.