• Member Since 23rd Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 30th, 2013

Sessalisk


Try not to take me too seriously. I am an idiot with a shitty sense of humour.

T

Twilight Sparkle is accepted into Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns and gets a little more than what she bargained for.

Illustrated by me.

(If you object to swearing, please skip chapter 6. That's the one chapter that bumps this story straight up to a Teen rating.)

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 273 )

Yes! Such a great story! So good to see it on fimfiction! Amazing work, as usual, Sessalisk! :D

same here, now I can track it!

YESSSSSSSS

at some parts in this chapter there seems to be parts missing.
e.g.
Twilight was so glad that no one was watching her right now.
Twilight forced a smile and grabbed her filthy vest with her mouth. “Um… Thankyousomuchforhelpingmewiththat. Bye!” She bolted back into her room.
She buried her face in her hooves. This had
Naked and dripping, Twilight looked into the drawer at her other six vests and ties. She didn’t dare try to slip one on over her head.

That took a while to show up. Hopefully it gets lots of veiws. :twilightsmile:

Yay Royal Canterlot Voice fun. :yay: For refference, when she demod for Celestia, was it at the correct volume for the Royal Voice?

So glad to see this story on fimfiction!

newsflash! princess Celestia's personal student sings! parents horrified!

in other news, young green colt taken into custody pending a case concerning sexual allegations.

Another great chapter, I can't wait for the next one :twilightsmile:

Wow, that was something else.

Friendshipping crushed by parents and REALLY wrong choice of words from the potential spouse.

155715

Ah sorry about that. I used the upload from Google Docs feature, which potentially caused some issues. I went in and fixed what I could, but there might still be a few issues.

If anyone finds any, please let me know!

155621 +42^42! I just love math, and this story!

OMG finally on Fimfiction awesome so much easier to track.:twilightsmile:

Wow, you put this here.

been reading this from EQD .. love love LOVE reading it. 9000/5 stars!!!

:) This is one of my favourite stories. Glad to see it on here!

The illustrations are amazing. I have seen People use pictures in their stories before, but never have I seen the pictures tailor made like this.

This is the greatest, most amazing story ever. Or at least that I have read today :twilightsheepish:
Thank you so much for posting it here! :twilightsmile:

Please excuse me as I recover my lower jaw from the floor.

BTW, for anyone who wants to know, the words are Farsi.

156634

And Arabic, Latin, French, Hebrew, and Spanish, although the Spanish one (Puta Madre) is a mondegreen.

Is this a ponified Harry Potter? I swear Celestia and Twilight are Dumbledore and Harry

Yay! My third favorite MLP fanfic, got here! Now I can read it easily. Than you!

156749

Nah. There are some similarities, like being at a magical boarding school with a very old and powerful mentor, but also there's no Big Bad here, Twilight doesn't have a traumatic past/a lousy family, and this is a lot more Slice of Life (mostly due to the lack of a Big Bad) and character-based than Harry Potter.

Besides, Twilight is far more of a Hermione than a Harry! Nor was Dumbledore God.

I've really been enjoying this story.

The only real problem is I feel that you dump the description of all Twilight's classmates on us at once. Or at least it came in such a short time frame that I wasn't really able to absorb it. I feel like there is a lot of good characterization, but that I was losing track of which pony was which (maybe it wouldn't be as big of a deal if I read it all at once, but I had been following it on Equestria Daily).

Perhaps add in a few lines here and there trying to remind us of what we've seen that pony do or what he or she looks like. Just a little bit would make a big difference for me.

But I'm still really enjoying the story.

LOVIN' this fic bro

Still reminds me of Harry Potter:moustache:. Azure Sky is one badass pony. :rainbowdetermined2:ME GUSTA MUCHO

156914

Which chapter did you find that an issue? 8?

I'll fix it asap, but I'm not sure which bit you're referring to, specifically.

2+2=3? My head hurts:facehoof:...:derpyderp1:

Second picture: Derpy and a hardcore chef, who else saw them?

157690in my defense i almost didnt do it.

“His name is Jazz and his cutie mark is two beamed quarter notes.”
....is it possible you had eighth notes in mind while writing this sentence?
Hiya! I'm loving this story so far!
I'm tracking and watching, 'cause I want to keep up with this! :D
Ciao for now!

157952
Yarp! My bad!

Fixed!

Thanks for catching it. :D

this is not like harry potter, for one thing dumbledore and harry while they were on a freindly relationshp it still rarely changed from a Teacher-Student to a Parent-Child relationship.
Twis and celestias relationship is closer to Parent-Child but still retaining its original undertones of Teacher-Student.
there is also the fact that Harry made freinds every second whils't Twi hitherto was freindless and lonesome.

Sorry i have an unfortunate habit of Speaking in the shakespeareane tounge when i take umbrage to a subject.

lol i dare not say more on when her dad stepped into the room....:rainbowlaugh:

157666 lol i was just coming down here to comment on seeing derpy in the picture, tbh i swore her name was ditzy back during the winter wrap up episode...

hehehe love the last part

This is certainly an interesting idea, and I've been following it since you first got it posted on EQD. I can't say I have any experience with private schools of this kind, but I must admit that it comes across as rather unreal. Not because of the magic, but rather because of the events.

This is easily seen in the latest chapter as well, where the little contest was more than just a little over the top. It seemed like 9 out of 10 performances ended in what amounts to disaster. I'm not sure what the thought was here, did the teachers seriously give the students 100% free reign with no approval at all? Next to no set training time? And then ask them to perform before the parents who, many times, pay for the kids tuition?

That's not sensible decisions at all. I can't wrap my head around how this event could possibly have gone as far as it did, when the teachers seemed to be aware that it usually turns out badly and as such realistically would be looking out for things that can go wrong.

I'm also having some issues with the portrayal of time. I did notice a comparison to Harry Potter in the comments, but I don't think it can be compared really. However, one thing J.K. Rowling does wonderfully in those books is her portrayal of time passing. Over the course of the books, a full year passes and as it happens you're always aware of it. In this story, I never know how much time has passed. How much time passed before the contest was announced and it played out? From reading it, I got the feeling that it was maybe two to three days after. There was no sense of time passing between the scenes so it feels like they played out right after each other.

Lastly in this lengthy comment I have to ask: How old is Twilight?
The general innocence that seems to be shown makes me think of 8-10 year olds. Yet sometimes it seems to go leaps higher than that so I can't really pin it down. (Ultra conservative teacher complaining about song texts that are suggestive is pretty standard, but the way Twilights dad reacted is... Odd. At least if they Are very young. Teenagers, on the other hand, are more understandable. But if they are That old then it's hard to believe that they don't understand the suggestive language of the song when thinking of it.)

That's all! Have fun with your writing :).

158269

Never officially. It was mentioned in a chat about who Ditzy Doo was that if she should ever appear in show the name would be assigned to the pegasus fans called Derpy.

Ditzy is still a no show, so Derpy it is.

158438
Thanks a lot for the feedback and I'll make sure to work in your concerns about the passage of time in any upcoming chapters (and when the reader count dies down a bit, I'll probably go into 8 and fix it up in there too). I love getting detailed comments like this, cuz they always give me stuff to think about/improve on. :D

A couple of things that you mentioned, have reasons behind them, although it's probably entirely my fault if a couple of them weren't clear by this point. I'll try to clear them up here as best as I can.

Twilight's age -

Like the show, I meant for that to be somewhat ambiguous. Remember Look Before You Sleep? Twilight is clearly an adult, can live on her own, and is a responsible individual who is trusted to take care of herself and Spike. But watch how she squees over the idea of her first slumber party like a twelve year old! Pretty ambiguous to me. :twilightblush:

I have her pinned at around 9 years old, but I don't know how that corresponds to pony development (did you know that female horses are capable of reproduction as early as two years old? it's not recommended until they're at least five, though), nor even when her birthday is in the year, so I am going to refrain from outright stating it until there's canon to back it up. And yes, she does act much older than that occasionally. This is completely intentional.

Twilight, like most of her peers (imagine Ender's Game), is rather precocious for her age. Some of them (like Lexicus) will try to act like adults, and others (like Elsie) act just like kids their age are supposed to act... assuming those kids knew enough science to make explosives and stuff. A couple, like Sky (overcompensating foul-mouthed filly) or Nightbreaker (the morbid one who directed the weird play), aren't anywhere on that spectrum at all and would just be considered "weird". I'm trying to avert the whole "child prodigies are exactly like regular children, but smarter", and its alternative "child prodigies are just like adults" thing you see all the time. From what I know of 'em, they're a very diverse bunch.

In Twilight's case, I imagined that she's mostly like an ordinary kid. She's a lot more analytical and thoughtful than any kid her age ought to be (that whole scene in chapter 4 where she rationally goes through all her options for dealing with bullies is a testament to that. It was probably also one of the things that set you off.), though, and perhaps a little underdeveloped when it comes to interpreting/expressing emotions.

The talent show -

Ms. Lida came from a background of public school teaching, and she assumed that teaching at a school for gifted children would be exactly the same, except that she would have to give harder lessons and more homework. She didn't account for the big variation in emotional age, and in general, she has trouble grasping the idea that kids don't like being patronized any more than anyone else. When it came time to do the talent show, she wasn't prepared for the narrow ranges of interests, the fact that the kids who aren't gifted are wealthy (and have a lot of out-of-town experience*), or that kids who know how to make explosives will want to make explosives.

As for the other teachers, I suspect that they were very aware of the circumstances, and did absolutely nothing to stop what they saw coming. When Twilight asked Jazz to play piano for them, he knew exactly which song she was talking about. Also, how do you think that Elsie and Pebbly Crunch got ahold of so much fertilizer? :trollestia: They thought it would teach her a valuable, if hard and somewhat cruel, lesson about the students at that school. Who says learning's just for kids?

* Canterlot be big on the censorship, yo.

I find it interesting that people compare this to "Harry Potter". This doesnt really resemble harry potter apart from the " magical boarding school " element BUT this story reminds me A LOT of the truly excellent " Harry Potter and The Methods of Rationality". I can only assume that Sessalisk Is a big fan of that story, or would love it if he/she read it. if you are enjoying this story and like/ are indifferent to Harry Potter you should check that one out. OH and im not the author of that because im not a genius like the guy who wrote " methods of rationality" ( a researcher in artificial Intelligence at Oxford University if i remember it correctly .) anyways google it guys its kind of a major deal in the harry potter community, roughly at the same level as " fallout : equestria " or " past sins" is for the bronies. anyways this story seems to be the MLP: FIM equivalent, especially in its full hearted embrace of logic and science and in its unapologetically intellectual tone.


I would also like to mention how much i LOVE the lusciously gorgeous and evocative illustrations!

It said three weeks at first then changed to three months not that big but just saying good fic though :rainbowwild:

Father: well twi congratulations you just rented out your room to some unmarried teenagers who FUCKED ALL NIGHT LONG.... lucky bastards...
Twi: But look! i made seventy five bits!
F:ill take those thank you. these will go towards your new bed.
T:what?
F:youll find out when your older.

159450

Her parents came to visit Twilight at school three weeks ago. She hasn't actually been home for three months. I'll make that more clear at the start.

157657 2=1 +=1 add it up :rainbowwild: it's different but that's how I think in calculus sometimes

159320

Being compared to HPMoR is some of the highest praise I can get! :D

I wasn't intending to write any sort of parallel, but whenever I sit down to write something, my geekery often rises to the surface. I guess the only time that it would be appropriate is in a fic about Twilight Sparkle. :twilightsmile:

Try using The pen tool

157657 i^2=-1


Just to add some complex numbers to this party ;)

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