When Twilight finds herself in a strange world where nothing exist but trees and no memories but her name, she quickly goes on a search for the one thing she thinks could contain it. Only the little black box can contain all the answers.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I enjoyed it, had a nice surreal feel going on. It had a few errors through out such as "There was no was that this stream wouldn’t end somewhere." that could be cleaned up by another proofread but nothing too bad. A pretty good first attempt, hope you write more.
Not bad at all for a first story. A few minor errors but other than that not a bad start, my only problem is that Alicorn-Twilight stories have been used to death, but I'm okay with this. I hope to see more from you!
2041335 Thanks, and yeah, i will do some cleanup.
2041935 Yes, alicorn-twilight stories are kinda used up, and this is probably the only time i write one. Maybe I should try something new, like an unexpected romance between iron will and rarity or something even weirder. That's why we have a random category, right? Idk, Crossovers work too. Thanks for the comment!
2042081 No problem, weirdly before the end of the story I was guessing that the story was something along the lines of Twi waking up from a coma after something happened to her, but the Alicorn thing makes sense too
2042303 yeah, i was considering something similar to that... I originally started writing this with having the character be hiding from herself and putting her own memories into the box, but figured it was even more cliche than a lesson from celestia.
Great first work! I feel kind of bad for jumping in with some huge first work now, this is probably what I should have done first.
Your writing style is excellent, and your ability to keep your pace even without jumping around or losing people is well done. I also liked the lesson at the end, and how you didn't need to draw it out or explain yourself.
I look forward to more. Oh, and thanks for commenting on my own piece when it came out right off the bat: your early input was a great help!
2070805 thanks! Yeah, I specifically wrote a short story just for practice. But there is absolutely no problem with writing a novel upfront if ur willing.
I decided to do a little series of short stories in time for H&H Day, get some practice and what not. I will still release chapters, just not as often as i originally planned. Got any more work lined up? I'm digging the surreal style!
2074068 yeah, I've got a few in progress. I am writing a story from the perspective of gummy, even though he can't talk. I'm also starting a few others right now, at least in my spare time. I hope you do well on your writing and see some more soon!
This was surely an interesting read! I didn't see many errors, only a little bit. And I liked the feeling this story had. I can say that it is the best thing I have read today. I have followed you now. When your next story is up, I shall read it. And you mentioned a story about Gummy's perspective. Sounds nice
2092748 hehehe, I don't know about that. I'm thinking about having him crush on pinkie, but be completely unable to explain it. Thanks for da read and da watch!
2092840
No problem!
wow, I really liked this!
about half way I ventured a guess that twilight was trapped in her mind or something of that sort. When she found the key I thought "Okay, this is a test or something by Celestia." so when she started to talk about immortality it clicked. "Celestia is teaching her what it is to be immortal or ageless, and how time is meaningless to such a being. What matters is what they do with this time."
If this was indeed your first writing work, it was very well done. Only some minor errors that didn't really matter too much.
CotH was, and is my first attempt at writing anything!
Though I have had a lot of help with it. I have a team of prereaders, a proofer and an editor. 
2185291 Lol, thanks! Obviously I've written stories before, just not a fimfic. But I decided one-shots were good for starters. Thanks for taking a read and fav, and I'm honestly in love with CotH! I found that gem in the oc group, and decided to give it a look. Boy am I glad I did! For anyone who hasn't read it,
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/57568/colors-of-the-heart
2343801 lol, thanks! Yeah, this was my first, so I wanted to keep it kinda simple. Probably my worst story, but at least it got me a few followers so that I could actually get some views on my later ones. Also, I bothered to reread it like a month ago, and the flow needs some serious tlc. That, boys and girls, is why we don't write at two AM! Which i'm doing right now...
Thanks for the comment!
2343829 two am, eh? I wrote that Twilicorn fic of mine at THREE am. BLAMMO, argument invalid!
Also, I hope you din't mind, but I feel the need to riff this. It looks so juicy and moist...
3705749 Riff it, rip it, rape it, rap it. I believe in the freedom of speech, so do with it as you please.
3705752 Don't worry, I aim to please, both myself and those silly enough to enjoy my riffs. I'll post it in a few days in a blog, 'k?
3705760 Oh, a guitar riff?
3705769 Nein, a riff in the vein of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
3705782 You never cease to impress me. MST3K is one of my favorite shows of all time.
3705796 I loved Space Mutiny. It was like they were making fun of their own corniness (and space-faringness) at the same time.
3705898 Ikr!