Costume Calamity

by I had no idea

Chapter two: Of princesses and pastries

"Princess Celestia! Princess Luna! So good to see you!"

The regal sister's cart just arrived in Ponyville, causing a slight panic in it's residents: it's not every day you get visited by royalty, after all! Twilight and her friends welcomed them warmly; even though the actual letter came from an obnoxious showmare, they have been meaning to invite them all along. Celebrations always seemed to be full of work for a princess; once in a time they'd deserve some relaxation. The princesses looked at Twilight and her friends a bit confused, before Luna spoke up her doubts.

"Excuse me, Twilight Sparkle, but where are the rest of your friends? I can understand Fluttershy's absence, since she was quite afraid the last time I saw her, but I imagine Rarity would be overflowing with creativity, and Applejack simply seemed to love the festivities."

"Funny you should ask, Princess," Twilight shifted nervously in her purple bear-costume, "We were all wondering if something happened, she is never late."

"Oh, I'm sure she'll come around. Maybe she prepared some apple desserts to sell or present to everypony?" Celestia suggested. Twilight leaned closer to Pinkie, who was standing right beside her, dressed as a... well, whatever it was, it looked unholy to Twilight.

"Quick, " she whispered, "that was your cue. Get as much cake as you can!"

"Right-o!" Pinkie beamed. A moment later, she was gone, leaving two glowing trails of hooves behind, as if the ground itself heated in her wake. Twilight turned back to the Princesses, whose guards were already gone, no doubt seeking out some of the festivities. Still, at least they got the carts out of the way. It would have been screaming 'accident-prone' if they left it---

CRASH!

"Sorry! My bad! I'll uh... I'll just put this wheel back where it was... aaaaand..."

CRACK!

"Huh. Didn't figure the steel spindle could snap. Maybe if I put more pressure on it...?"

Twilight sighed. Only one pony in Ponyville could cause wanton destruction, even when standing perfectly still, and that was Ditzy Doo. She hurried to the chariots, and wrangled the wheel from the mailmare just before she attempted to 'fix' the cart again. With another flick of her horn, she mended the spindle and put back the wheel in a jiffy. She looked angrily at the pegasus.

"Ditzy! This is royal property! Don't you think it's rude to blemish their carriage when they came to visit us, even there are plenty of important matters they have to attend to?"

"Oh no, we're completely free today." Celestia chimed in. "I've made sure I left every important task in capable hooves, and I gave the most annoying ones to Blueblood. Maybe he'll learn some manners when he asks for allowance again."

The unicorn shot a questioning look at Luna, who rolled her eyes.

"Our foalish cousin wished for sustenance enough to buy Manehatten. The most despicable thing is that he only wanted to buy an orange. That stallion has no sense of money, I say."

Celestia giggled. "Let us forget the worries for today, and engage in more... pleasant activities. Has your friend who suggested the costume contest arrived?"

Twilight fiddled with her hair, before answering, and Ditzy took that exact time to take off before she's scolded further. She darted away at a speed which made Rainbow (who was watching things from a cloud) lick her lips, and update her mental 'Ponies-I-want-to-race-with' list. She measured Ditzy about thirteenth—first of course, was Daring Do. Forget the Princesses, it's cooler to race with a legend! Somepony so awesome! Speaking of which, she left, too, to show off her Daring-ninja-zombie-pirate-Doo of the Wonderbolts costume. It'll be a hit with the masses!

Meanwhile, the unicorn finished explaining to Celestia and Luna that she hadn't even met Trixie since she tried to challenge her to a duel in Canterlot (after which it took weeks to get the smell of rotten eggs out of the Canterlot Library's director's dog's fur.) Celestia nodded knowingly.

"I see, my most faithful student. Tell me then, is this non-friend of yours here yet?"

"I... I don't really know. I considered all the possibilities, and came up with three possible situations. One, she never intended to come in the first place, and this is just an elaborate and distasteful prank. Two, she saw my terrific costume, and ran away without even challenging me."

Realising that Twilight finished her speech, Luna inquired about the third option.

"The third option is... that I have absolutely no idea."

Celestia smiled.

"I'm sure it's the second, Twilight. After all, you've made this lovely purple kitten costume!"

"...It's an Ursa Major." Twilight's face was the likeness of a dead pan.

"Nevertheless, it fills me with inspiration! Oh, how I would have loved to dress up this year!" She shot a glare to the indifferent moon princess.

"For the last time, Tia, Yarrmektar, destroyer of worlds, is not a costume that would fit in well with the masses. For heaven's sake, he looks like a narwhal!"

"Oh, hush, Lunny. You intended to come as a bunny. Imagine how much fear that would have caused!" Celestia replied sarcastically. Luna blushed.

"We did not intend to dress up as a mere rabbit! We just thought that maybe something more... friendly would have been more appealing to our citizens."

"I understand, but buffalos? Seriously?"

"They are the most peaceful race in Equestrian lands, who are not ponies." Luna pointed out.

"They also grow to twice the size of a pony. And they have horns."

"Unicorns have horns, too! We have a horn! You have a horn, sister!"

"Are you saying I am a buffalo, then?"

"Yes! No! I mean, you have one horn! They have two!"

"But otherwise, I am the likeness of a buffalo?"

Twilight watched dumbfounded as the elder alicorn teased her sister. She did not dare to interrupt them, after all, this was one of their rare moments of free time spent together. Twilight smiled.

"Anyway, what would a pony with two horns be called? Bicorn?"

"I think Duocorn." a third voice chimed in. They all looked up, and realised that Ditzy came back. Noticing their stares, she hovered closer. "I came back because I forgot something important."

"What is your question, citizen of Ponyville?" Luna asked.

"Well... what exactly is 'blemish'?"

_________________________________________________________________________________

"Hurry up! Ah swear, yer slower than a wiggleplum aimin' ta be a snail!"

"I'm trying, but Mac here is not exactly helpful either!"

"Ah told ya, Ah'm not gonna wear mascara!"

"For the last time, it's facepaint not make-up! It's part of the costume!"

Trixie huffed. She expected complications, but mostly from the Apple family, not Mac himself. Granny Smith was surprisingly cooperative, and dressed her part. The real reason behind this is that the showmare had planned a real hit: dressing up the whole Apple family and herself, and arrive at the same time. However, because of Mac, they were behind schedule.

"Look, it's just needed because your head would be much more noticeable if left red. Bear with me, please."

Big Mac sighed.

"...Do it."

Finally let to do her 'magic', she quicly put the fnishing touches on Mac's costume. Leaning back, she admired her own work.

"I must say, I really outdid myself this time."

"Ah'm juss' afraid it'll make me look like a foal." the stallion grumbled.

"Nonsense! I'm sure mares will be wooed by your manliness back and forth! You'll have to repel the waves of suitors, for there will be many!"

Mac blushed at her exaggeration. Trixie had a way of assuring ponies that had nothing to do with the subject of their concern. Still, maybe this will be fun enough.

"Everypony ready?" Trixie asked, inspecting each and every costume. Satisfied with their appearances, she turned and exclaimed: "Onward, to our Great March!"

"But it's October!" Applebloom objected weakly.

_________________________________________________________________________________

"... And that is why we decided to outlaw dipping doughnuts in milk."

"I see. What is your opinion on muffins, Your Majesty?"

"I... Isn't that a 'slang' word for griffons of the Murkblood Clan?" Luna asked hesitantly.

Twilight was impressed. This time not only Luna was not greeted by ponies running for their lives, but somepony actually had a conversation with her! (Other than Twilight herself, of course.) She was proud of Luna, as a mother when their child does something noteworthy, which in itself caused mixed feelings for the unicorn; are you supposed to be proud of your princess? How could you brag with it? "My princess just conquered three nations, yours can't even build an infrastructure!" Maybe this conversation was getting to her. While Ditzy was very cheerful and curious, her curiosity seemed to encompass the weirdest things.

"... Then you bake it about two hours, and they're ready. Here, have a free sample!"

Ditzy produced a small muffin, and gave it to the amazed princess. She smiled brightly, until one of her eyes focused on the muffin itself.

"Oh no!"

She snatched the pastry from the surprised alicorn, and threw it away... right into the royal chariot of Celestia. She ducked behind Twilight, and shouted "Take cover!"

Nothing happened. Ditzy poked out her head from down under.

"Huh. I guess it malfunctioned. It was supposed to—"

BLAM!

"—blow up."

Twilight watched dumbfoundedly as a pile of splinters slowly collapsed into soot, exactly at the same place where the chariots were. Ditzy gave a sheepish smile.

"Sorry! I mixed up my attack muffins with the snack muffins. Happens to everypony, I guess."

Twilight finally found her voice.

"Ditzy! Ponies don't usually make weapons from food!"

"I dunno, have you ever seen Bon Bon's 'Killer Kandiez'? You could bludgeon a pidgeon to death with it."

The unicorn was incredibly nervous, but was surprised to see Luna with a smug expression, instead of being angry. The alicorn called out to her sister.

"Oh, Tiaaa... Seems like we'll take the scenic route back."

Celestia pouted.

"That is not necessary. I am fit as a pony can be!"

"I doubt you will stay that way, sister, based on the looks you gave to that cake."

Celestia rolled her eyes, but then turned to Pinkie quickly. She would wait no longer for no mare, even if they were president of the United Stables.

"Say, Pinkie Pie, could you please cut a slice from that cake for me?"

"Of course, Princess!" Pinkie beamed. Just as she was about to split the cake, a terrible roar of lightning echoed through Ponyville. The sky itself seemed to darken, and an ominous fog rose from the east. The ponies looked at each other nervously, unsure of what to make of the situation. Celestia sighed, and motioned to Pinkie to stop proceeding with the cake-cutting. Together with her sister, she stepped forward.

"Citizens of Ponyville! There is naught to fear, we—"

An incredibly nasty-sounding thunder interrupted the sun princess, while drawing attention to a hill overlooking Ponyville. A mare dressed up as a flower pot started to scream.

"The horror! THE HORROR!"

Out of nowhere, Rainbow Dash appeared, slowly descending beside Twilight.

"What the hay is that?"

A slow moving fog could have been seen. It was a deep, dark purple colour, sweeping through the road with a leisurely pace. Whereever it touched the ground, it... well, it did nothing, but it indeed was ominous. When the fog reached the town square, the gathered crowd could see clearly that it was several ponies large; both horizontally and vertically. Luna stepped forward.

"Show thyself!"

A raspy voice gave a disturbing chuckle from the inside.

"Ah will... If ya give me back mah rusty horseshoe!"

Rainbow's face paled. No, not that!

The fog began to swirl, and it lifted off so suddenly, they didn't even notice the exact moment it dispersed. In it's wake, several tall, dark figures stood, hooded and cloaked. One of them towered above the others, and another one was really small. They just stood menacingly in the town square, silent as stone, until one of them stepped forward. The figure indicated a mare, further confirmed when she started speaking. She had an awfully familiar voice.

"Citizens of Ponyville! I have came unto this world once again; to revel in the night that so few hold in high contempt! Prepare to kiss your precious sun goodbye... for the night shall last FOREVER!"

A lightning flashed, as if to further the tension. The mare's head lit up, and her cloak and hood crumbled into dust; so did her companions' covers. Ponyville was greeted by a sight that even shook the princesses: before their very eyes, in her metal crown, Nightmare Moon stood, smiling triumphantly. The darkness cleared up, revealing the true face of her companions. Twilight couldn't believe her eyes. Not only the wicked Mare in the Moon, but a tall, bulky creature with a horse's lower body, and an upper body with arms, and a relatively small head. The unicorn recognized Tirek, the Necromancer, as he let out a blood-curdling roar. Standing to the right of Nightmare Moon, the familiar figure of the changeling queen stood, moonlight passing through the holes in her legs. By her side, a small, but very vicious-looking little changeling hissed, it's muzzle covered by a piece of cloth. Even further right, an old, seemingly one-eyed old pony mumbled and grumbled, who would not have been that fearful, if she hadn't been wearing dusty old rags, and didn't have sharp red eye colour, which seemed to stare into your very soul. Standing as last in the line, a unicorn stallion pawed the ground impatiently, shadow emanating from his eyes. He had razor-sharp fangs, and was dressed royally; what else could a pony expect from a king of the Crystal Empire?

Nightmare Moon stepped forward, her mane flickering under the bright moonlight.

"It is of utmost joy for me to be here again... And to furthen that joy, I shan't waste any time declaring my intentions! I declare this cake to be annexed by the New Moonarchy!"

Her horn lit up, and she levitated the table with the cake in front of her, snatching a slice from it. She held it in her grip, as if taunting Celestia. Said alicorn was furious. Not only she threatened her subjects, destroyed a celebration and took away precious time to bond with her sister, this intruder had the galls to take the cake that was made specifically for the princess herself! She opened her mouth to speak.

"You' dare—MMMMPH!"

She was rudely interrupted when Nightmare Moon stuffed the cake in her mouth with a quick swing. The alicorn instinctively bit down on the pastry, and became distracted enough by it's magnificent taste that she allowed the wicked mare to pass by her, and come up to Twilight. The black alicorn smiled at the terrified unicorn, and wore a distinctively smug expression on her face.

"Well, well, Twilight Sparkle. We meet again. Only this time... the winner will be me!"

She lit up her horn, and took off her helmet, revealing that the swirling mane around her head was in fact connected to the helmet itself, her natural mane flowing out from under it in a beautiful—if a bit flat—silvery white river. Twilight gasped.

"You...!"

"And that is" Trixie stated calmly, "how you make a good entrance."

Comments

[Seether00]

Sweet costumes, but who is who?

[mike50333]

Sweet costumes, but who is who?

Let's see... if I had to hazard a guess, Big Mac is the necromancer, Granny Smith is the old hag w/the horseshoe, Apple Jack is the Changeling Qu3n, and Applebloom is the vicious little changeling.

[Perteks]

Awesome can't wait for more!

[yayme]

"It is of utmost joy for me to be here again... And to furthen that joy, I shan't waste any time declaring my intentions! I declare this cake to be annexed by the New Moonarchy!"

Trixie wins hands (hoofs?) down.

was there ever any doubt?

Can't wait to read more.