• Member Since 18th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen January 14th

Kaii-Leiko


A simple brony who loves writing and one day hopes to make a career of it. Loves anime, MLP, reading and Writing. Loves making new friends as well, if anyone wants to add me to Skype just contact me.

T
Source

Twilight had been warned dark magic was dangerous. She thought she could handle it. Unfortunately dabbling in dark magic has left Twilight with a deadly disease that there does not seem to be a cure for. Will she succumb to the darkness, or will friendship and love be enough to make the remainder of her time happy?

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 423 )

Omg... I'm not sure if I can handle this story. Poor Twilight. The first thing that came to my mind was: Will this story have a good or bad ending? But I follow it anyway...

2037199

Hehe, obviously I don't want to give it away, but I think it'll be an interesting read at the very least.

Celestia's obviously lying. Clearly Sombra found the cure! It just turned him into an evil creature than enslaved hundreds of ponies and... okay, I can see why Celestia might not consider that a cure.

good story will follow also why the fuck does it has 2 thumbs down?

Neither her nor Spike had mentioned what had happened during the night.

I before E except after C brother!
But good fanfiction

great picture, great premise, great spelling and grammar, nopony seems ooc, definitely watching this.

2037446

What? That sounds like a GREAT cure! :pinkiecrazy:

2037658

Ah, don't worry about them, not everyone has to like my stuff, hehe.

2038039

Ooo, thanks for the catch, I must fix!

2038109

I liked it too, But I can't take any credit for it, I didn't make it or anything like that.

2039012

Well, thank you good sir, I appreciate the kind comment.

PPS

2038039>>2039609
"Neither" is spelled with "e" before "i". The "i before e" mnemonic has far too many exceptions. The use of "her" in the compound subject is wrong, though. It should be "she".

Huh. That explains why King Sombra died a few months into his reign and posed no threat at all to Equestria. Wait a minute....

2040025

Lol, I see what you did thar. I feel that since Sombra possessed darkness and dark thoughts to begin with, it would be different than someone like Twilight who's more or less pure of heart, after all Darkness wouldn't be able to feed off itself, if that makes any sense..

2040040
I guess? Twilight's a good person but she's pretty neurotic. I'd think that if 'darkness' can be fear based, she'd actually have a lot of it. Although it could then consume the rest of her personality, I'd end up expecting it to drive her evil more than kill her. Maybe there's some trick to survival that only Sombra knew.

This is a good start, though Celestia in particular felt a little rushed. Also, I can't really picture her using the phrase "tons of nasty side effects," but that might just be me.

2038039
The entire rule is:

I before E except after C, or when sounding as A in neighbor or weigh—or more than a dozen other exceptions that make this rule completely useless.

Suffice to say, "Neither" is actually the correct spelling.

Edit: Aaaand it looks like I had this open longer than I thought. Someone already said that HOURS ago.

2040469

No, I reread it and I agree with you. I might go back and edit the Celestia part a bit. For now I changed that line to.

the dark magic coursing through your body is having tons of... Unpleasant side effects. I am so sorry."

I think that's a little better. Thanks for the input man, appreciate it.

good chapter but uh isnt it manticore? o is it actually the right way to say it in past tense? manticorn?

Well I expected Twi to lash out with the ending of the last chapter. But this is adorable... Yay! :yay:

dat cover picture

I like this. It reminds me a little of my own TwiShy story, but it's got its obvious differences.
They seem to be in-character, as you pointed out in the Author's Note, so don't worry about that. The only problem I'd mention would have to be about commas, or lack thereof. Eg:

True to her name Fluttershy fluttered about Twilight kitchen.

It should have a comma after 'name,' as when you read it in your head, you pause. To get on a more technical level, it's a dependent clause that requires a comma.
There wasn't much else in the way of errors, (except for the occasional wrong tense or something similar) so there isn't much to worry about on that.
I personally adore TwiShy and tragedy in the same story :rainbowkiss:, so I'm looking forward to seeing how this goes!
*Thumbs up and favorite* :twilightsmile:

It was the first time she was happy to be feeling anything in the last three days. It made her heart speed up and made her stomach feel as though it were full of butterflies.

Damnit Twilight, did you eat Fluttershy's Cutie Mark? :duck:

2039609 You are much welcome sire

2040469 You appear to be made out of stone

Not bad at all sir! but maybe you should include something about Twilight's parents, and Shining coming to see her, unless you plan to do that later.

She then realized it was herself who was creaming and she stopped.

i think you forgot a letter there
:twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

(Joke) Alt. Title: Darkness Fever (It's Imprisons Me)
Only the featured box can cure me!

2041238

No you are right, I gotta go fix that hehe.

2041275

Twilight will have time to lash out in the future, I was looking more for comfort at that specific moment.

2041477

A friend of mine said the same thing. I always seem to do too many or too little. I'm going to go through it and try and fix it up a little. Thanks for the input, I always appreciate the help. :twilightsmile:

2041614

God, I hope not.

2041916

Of course! That's just planned for a little later though.

2042339

I uh...I sure did...I better go fix that one, like, right away....

2042455

Hehe, someone actually caught that! :yay:

Now, with all of that out of the way I just noticed this made it to the featured box, so I just wanted to take a second and thank everyone who took a moment to read this!

2037199

Will this story have a good or bad ending?

>tragedy tag

Congrats on making the front page!:pinkiehappy:

2042811

Thank you, kind reader!

Ok I have 2 things to say... Ill put them far apart because they are very different...

and she was no in love with the

shouldn't it be now

also:
i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn105/walkseva/ManlyTearsHaveBeenShed.jpg




and now for the part of me that just wont let it go (aka my philosophy on the story so far):

I agree with the point that Unicorn horns don't break, the magic in the unicorn stop the horn from breaking
so in order to cause a horn to break you would have to kill the unicorn or overload its magic. This can be seen
in the effect that happens when a unicorn is about to die from an external source, example: When a unicorn was
going to die from a poison that it had inhaled the unicorn in question had its magic overload and flood the toxin
from its body, this proceded to cause the horn to split and magic to become very difficult.
Credit for that example: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1571/the-end-of-ponies (shortskirtsandexplosions)


Now to discuss dark magic (This is just my take on it):

Dark magic is a darker form of the common magic found in Equestria that has been altered in order to make it...
"more powerful", this magic was created during the first age in order to allow for fighting against the common
magic. Because of its traits the Dark Magic would corrupt and make the normal magic useless. Contrary to what
I put in the quotes Dark Magic actually isn't more powerful it is just better at being used against normal Magic.
This is proven in examples where a shield made of Magic when put up against a spell also cast using Magic,
if the Magic spell is not strong enough to destroy the shield it will still weaken it and do damage, so it is possible
to beat down the shield with weaker spells. Now lets assume the shield was cast with Dark Magic, if it was a lesser
Dark Magic shield it has the benefit that is the Magic cast against it can't overwhelm it, it will still stand at full strength.
It cannot simply be beaten down by magic, it has to be completely overwhelmed by a more powerful spell. A more
advanced Dark Magic spell will actually feed off of the Magic and make itself more powerful.

Example time: In the Crystal Empire, Twilight tries to grab the door with Magic to no avail, because telekinesis is a
lesser form of Magic it is not powerful enough to halt the Dark Magic door, and since Dark Magic has the property
of... shall we call it "Magic Retardancy", the spell cant even hold the door to slow it down.

Example: it is further demonstrated when Twilight tries to teleport out of a Dark Magic field, the field doesn't necessarily
have to be more powerful than her spells, it is just made out of their counter and is therefore able to stop them anyway.


And for what my mind has made up to describe the circumstances in this story:

Dark Magic in a unicorn as is described by this story causes negative affects, this is because of the fact that the Unicorn
will naturally produce Magic, when mixed together Dark Magic and Magic will cancel each other out and cause what I
am going to call Magical Corruption, this is a form of magical burnout that probably built up in Twilight's body and caused
her horn to crack by blocking the flow of magic to it. It would be like mixing rubber in with a wire if you assume Magic is
like electricity in this way.


That means he likes it ^ He doesn't do that if he doesn't.

Best. Flutterlight. Ever.

read both chapters whilest listening to DeVotchka how it ends. epic

mkay, putting this on my to read list, but when I saw the picture I couldn't help but think:
I HAVE SPECIAL EYES!!!!

I was gonna skip over this, but then I noticed it was TwiShy...

Congratulations on the feature! I'll read this now, and give you my thoughts on it.

Alright, definitely interested in this one, seems promising, though I'll be very sad when Twi...

Nevermind that for now, I'll just point out a few errors I noticed.

Twilight mane was unkempt.

fluttered about Twilight kitchen.

I know I noticed a few others, but they seem to have disappeared when I went back to look for them...

Oh well. Great story though!

2043197

This was a wonderful comment, and I'm glad you enjoyed what I wrote. I must say I agree with your philosophy and it surprisingly all made sense to me. Thanks for taking the time to write such a nice comment. :twilightsmile:

2043308

Awwww, thank you!

2043424

Epic, indeed!

2043614

That video...Made me laugh my ass off!

2043658

<3

2043891

Thanks, I'm always glad to see I got a comment from you! I went and fixed those errors you mentioned by the way, I've been fixing them periodically all day. Phew, you shoulda see the one this morning...I put screaming without the S....That got a little awkward...Hehe, glad you didn't decide to skip this one over. But of course, Twishy is best. :yay:

2044423

I know, but now that everything has been sort of set I can slow it down now, relax and have things play out at a nice pace. Thanks for the read. :twilightsmile:

dude, the feels....:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::applecry::applecry::applecry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry:

"Ever since I was a filly my magic is all I ever had." Twilight continued. Her eyes grew moist as she spoke. "I've spent my entire life studying magic. Perfecting what I knew. I've always been eager to learn more. Heck my Element of Harmony is magic. And then in the blink of an eye it's gone. How unfair is that...?" Twilight's voice took a dark tone at the end.

"I know, Tw-" Fluttershy didn't have a chance to finish.

The unicorn looked up towards her guest. "This is happening to me because I tried to learn more." The sadness seemed to melt into bitterness. Twilight thought back to everything she'd done for Equestria. "I saved Princess Luna with the Elements of Harmony! I stopped Discord from sending Equestria into chaos! I stopped Queen Chrysalis from destroying Canterlot and I stopped Sombra from enslaving the Crystal Empire again!" Twilight was shouting now. "And for everything I've done I get to die!? It's not fair!

Twilight looked up to see Fluttershy's heart broken expression. Now it was her anger that melted away and she broke down. She'd been holding it in for three days and she couldn't take it any more. The lavender mare just let the tears fall freely. They stained the fur on her cheeks as the slid down only to shatter on the ground with the impact. She'd always tried to be a good pony. She'd never hurt anypony and now she had to die and she didn't understand what she'd done to deserve this.

maybe it's just me, but reading this all i could think of (besides the incredible amounts of feels)
was this

not so much the content in the speech. more the whole, letting out the emotions after holding it in for so long concept
(though it is a LITTLE relevant; both of them breaking down in a heartfelt speech about everything they did, and for all of it, they just get a boot up the rear)
but that's just me

really good chapter all in all, loving the story and the writing. you manage to keep the characers in character
this is why i like NOT reading the genre tags, this way i didn't see the twilightXfluttershy coming until it did (makes everything a surprise)

though i do make a point to read the ratings tags.....those are imperitive:twilightoops:

2044893

I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and I always appreciate a reader who takes the time to comment and tell me what they think. :twilightsmile:

I really want to read this, but the romance tag scares me. Tell me this is FlutterTwi, so I can read this to the utmost enjoyment levels (of over 9000!!!!!).

2045241 good. The reading shall commence soon. (I would've read it anyways, though...)

Those feels.... :fluttercry: I just..... wow.

However, this fic seemed rather rushed, and Fluttershy seemed like the last pony to go somewhere she may be in danger, so I didn't really enjoy that. But your TwiShy ship narration was great! I will read more.:pinkiehappy:

I don't care how rushed this is, I felt a tear trying to sneak out of my eye socket.

:raritycry:

That is all. This is going places.

Just one thing: I doubt Celestia would use the word 'tons'. It seems a bit too informal for her.

I would recommend changing "the dark magic coursing through your body is having tons of... Unpleasant side effects."

to

"the dark magic coursing through your body is also having several...unpleasant side effects."

Other than that, this is shaping up to be a good story.

:rainbowderp: Lemme get this straight. I havent even finished this chapter and you are implying WHAT!?!?!?! :pinkiesick::twilightangry2:

EDIT: Finished the chapter. You actually did that. I must say author... I am very ashamed disappointed in you. I'm gonna go read alicorn again... at least there I don't see authors make ponies lesbian...

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