• Member Since 20th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen March 6th

darkmagician41


T

Worlds collide as monsters/kaijin from two of the big three Tokusatsu shows of Japan enter Equestria with only one thing on their minds: Total Control/destruction of this utopia and the lands beyond it...

But hope still burns bright as a human who has a mental library of all these creatures but virtually none of Equestria -besides second/third off hand knowledge- is unknowingly brought to Equestria and saved from his current life of pain and suffering. Given great magical power through his hope, he strives to protect this utopia of Harmony while trying to overcome his own doubts and insecurities...And maybe even find love.

The cover art is only temporary. If someone wants to make one for this story that you are welcomed to do so.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 38 )

Well... all seems in order... although i can see you rushed to get the story going at some point, and there are a large number of gramatical and spelling mistakes to be found... but I find it odd, you found room for every pony BAR everyones favourite faithful student :twilightsmile: so uh... thats all. Also there is such a thing as too much japanese culture. For starters, you could skip over the entire part about referencing Doctor Who as you never utilised that part of the story. By that I mean Eric was given a Sonic Screwdriver and some other things from the doctor. But he never used them. Instead you went for Kamen Rider references. And you clearly rushed that too... I would even go as far to say as you were needing a way to end the story and this is how you did it. Thats all.

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Thanks for the comments as well as pointing out where I messed up on my first chapter. :twilightoops:
As I said in my author notes; editing is not my strong suite and I like to focus more on the meat of the story rather then the delicate points -thought I can do those when I focus on them. As for not using the Sonic Screwdriver in this episode, you have to remember Eric just got the most powerful tool in the universe this chapter so he won't know how to use it properly at all. The Screwdriver is mainly going to be used as a comedy tool and a once in a while McGuffin as the situations occur. :pinkiehappy:

In my opinion no one can used the Sonic Screwdriver like the Doctor can and not except some backlash of some sort. Also as for rushing the story; I will admit when I first started this chapter three months ago I was rushing a bit mainly because I wanted to get my ideas on paper before I lost the idea or my Microsoft Word -my tool of choice for writing- Trial decided to give out like it will in a few days. More then likely I will be editing the chapter to cut out some things as suggestions come in as well as adding if need be. :twilightsmile:

Also; Twilight is not in this chapter -despite her being one of my top five favorite ponies- because she has not even went to Ponyville yet as I hinted in parts of the story. She will appear but how she views the other Mane Six will be different from how she did in the first episode. How different? You'll see...:trollestia:

Edit: I've added a few links to the chapter where I had a tough time describing a few parts and wanted to see how you guy feel about them. Should I add pictures and videos instead or keep it as it?

2036453 I suggest using Google Docs. You can access it from any computer and it saves itself automatically. I've used it for my story.

Also, nice cover pic. I'll read this sometime soon.

2036453 Sorry... I thought u were doing a once chapter thing, given that you crammed so many ups and downs into the first chapter... The reason why I thought that was probably because I was sober...

Other than that... great job. Like blazikenking said, Google Docs is the way to go. Just as good as word, and also online... Also WordPad on windows 7 and 8 are also very similar to Word now... its almost not worth the money to get word.

EDIT: You do realise there is a bit of a rule with fanfics here that they have to kinda keep in line with the events that have unfurled in the show up to the date you wrote it... If you were to imply Chapter 1 as an introduction and set Chapter 2 to be to the present after your main character has been there for what, 3 years or so? I'm certain you could (with little effort) manage to just fit within those guidelines demonstrated in some rules i remember reading here...

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Tell that to my teachers in collage... :twilightangry2: Anyways' I already have two chapters done -just need to refine them a bit- and another on the way though I'm having a bit of trouble trying to decide what our pony friends would say and get it right. I'm actually thinking of writing some Openings for the future chapters but I'm not sure if I should.:rainbowhuh:
If I do I will be using Japanese Anime/Tokusatsu openings with links to the songs in my story. I've already got a few picked out -besides the MLP: FiM and Kamen Rider Wizard openings-. Also I've added a bit more to chapter 1 in the way of links to pictures to help with visualization. Tell me what you think guys! :twilightsmile: :ajsmug: :rainbowdetermined2:

Edit: 2045028
Thanks for pointing that out for me. I did a little bit of editing to point that out -mainly have Mayor Mare say when the Summer Sun Celebration was happening in relation to the chapter. And modify the title of Chapter 1 a bit.

2046793 seems alright. As for the videos, you should note that some people may not have the patience for something that either isnt in english or isnt englished subbed. Its just the way the mind works. If you dont understand what's being said or written, generally you lose interest fast, as it all seems like random gibberish. Just so you know.

Also I still insist you are a bit heavy on the sci-fi crossover. Perhaps work it in slower... i just feel you've introduced too much too quickly, and its becoming less and less pony related and more and more sci-fi related.

And if your teachers say Word is the only way to go, go to your teachers for me. Slap them... and say to them: "Redfiend says L-2-Internet weaboo"

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I don't mean videos, I mean actually writing up what the opening would look like with the lyrics and their translations as well. Another writer does this on Fanfiction.net on his story -which is a Ranma 1/2 Winx Club crossover- called Ranma Club.

That is what I'm going for but I'm not sure if I should do it... As for the Kamen Rider references, Eric won't be getting all of his basic abilities/forms at once. In fact the last basic form he will get, will be around Episode 21/22 of season 1. Then when Discord appears the real fun will begin. That's what I roughly going for. Plus there is a reason why Eric was teleported to Equestria which revolves around one of the Tokusatsu movies that happened around this time last year... And that's all I'll say.

BTW; a heads up for any Fluttershy fans/purists out there, she will be getting a spiritual visitor/roommate in her mind coming next chapter. I am planning an Omake -basically an extra behind the scenes look- on how she got this visitor. If you want any clues as to who this visitor is well... look below.

"HAUUUU~! OMOCHIKAERI [I wanna take it home with me]~!"

Well... That was epic, and the music made it even better. :pinkiehappy:

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Thanks!!!! :twilightsmile::pinkiehappy::rainbowdetermined2:
I'm happy to get ay feedback from the readers be it good or bad...thought I hope it's mostly good.:trollestia::scootangel:

This is VERY awesome so far. I'm a fan of Tokusatsu like you and I only RECENTLY got into MLP:FiM myself. And I ran into this site by sheer happenstance. And I found this soon after when there was JUST the first chapter. And I gotta tell ya, this particular Kamen Rider fits in with this world. I love this story. I can't help but wonder how Pendragon would react when the Mane 6 lose their cool and/or regularpersonalities. heh 50 bucks says that most, if not all of the Mane 6 fall for him. Plus Princess Luna. Pendragon DID fulfill the childhood fantasies of a little girl, being a princess in need of rescuing, and said rescue be done by a knight in shining armor. Or in this case, a Kamen Rider in Shining Magical Armor with a matching Super Sword.:pinkiehappy:

I always find multiple females falling for the same guy to be pretty funny. I can't help but wonder what their reactions would be when they find out about his DragonRise he can summon.

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Thanks for the comments and while two or three of the Mane 6 will fall for Eric, I really don't have plans for Luna except her being a friend to Eric. I may change my mind later on but for the moment that's what I'm going for. Also the girls will find out about Eric's inner monster/Phantom but I will pull their reaction from another crossover Fic from this site. If your curious about how they will react just look through my favorite stories to find it.

You should really get an editor and/or pre-reader for your story and have them go though your all of your chapters especially the first few they are what hook the readers and if someone sees allot of mistakes they may get turned off and dislike the story. I also sudjust adding your story to some groups to get more views like THIS one helped me out alot.:twilightsmile: Good luck with your story.

2220115
And that is why I love this site!!! Thanks for the tip man! I'm sending it now!!!

I am REALLY loving this story and how it's going so far my good man. Heh I wonder how Eric would deal with the Mane 6 once they go into Heat. And I bet it would make things WAY more awkward for our Resident Wizard Rider, if the magic of Equestria mixed with HIS magic, and gave the ones who are falling for him, a humanoid or anthro form. If Fluttershy is one of the Mane 6 that falls for Eric well, I think she would end up having the body if Hinata Hyuuga from Naruto, Shippuuden era, and one particular phrase comes to mind for me here with her. "It's always the quiet ones."

Hmmm, most impressive!

I love Wizard's series, and moreover, to see a worthy successor to his power has me very excited!

I was hoping to work on a similar kind of fic, but with a bit of a twist. Still, I'm wondering if there will be more Riders, either imported like Eirc or home-grown...my money would be on Shining Armor being a good Rider candidate. (He reminds me so much of Goto-chan from OOOs.)

Anyway, Something I've wondered when Tsukasa said why they chose Eric. I have my doubts he has the same Phantom as Haruto, so will that effect his higher forms? Also, will there be any Sentai that come here, since this mess invovles them too?

...or will you take the road less traveled, and have the Main 6 themselves unlock Sentai powers via the Elements of Harmony?

Just a thought...

Also, if you need an editor, sounding board, or just another toku-fan who has too much time on his hands as well as ideas, feel free to PM me.

If you like, I'd even love some feed-back for my own fic ideas, some of which may be a bit more ambitious then they should be, but I'd love a second opinion.:twilightblush:

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:twilightsheepish: I'm not too sure what you are talking about with the Mane 6. *looks around shiftily*

As for Eric's Phantom; I will say this...His Phantom is a dragon but our Rider's powers as the Element of Hope will have some influence over what his higher forms will look like along with the dragon; when he is infused with the powers of the Elements as well as when he is not. :pinkiehappy: Plus I have trouble deciding how Rider and Phantom are going to meet since I'm going to have their relationship similar to Naruto's and Kurama's. :fluttershysad:

Also there will be more riders appearing from time to time in Equestria along with a few other Japanese heroes such as the Puella Magica and some knights I mentioned before. As for Shining Armor becoming a Kamen Rider...You have me interested.

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Excellent...that boy has a hero complex a mile wide, which I suppose is partially due to being a big brother...personal experience there, I can tell you!

Still, his baptism into being a Rider could go a couple ways, as I see it. One, would be gaining minor Rider power, akin to say, one of those mass-produced Rider systems in Kamen Rider 555s...low-power models that flunkies were given that could barely keep up with the 555s system. However, he'll be able to make it work for him for a while, but eventually, as the curve of enemies gets tougher, he'll fall behind, eventually his system being destroyed, with only his own, heavily taxed magic to sustain him, as the main riders rescue him.

That would be when he re-evaluates his reasons to be a rider, his resolve, and tries to get back into the fight, system or no.

And that's when...we hit him where it hurts most. He already failed Cadence once, in his mind. The Canterlot Wedding, by my guess, is his own greatest failure for his wife. Now imagine him seeing his Alicorn love near dead...at the hands of a monster general...and Shining his helpless...and a Phantom is nearby?

...can anyone say...It's Lunchtime da? :moustache:

Dear gods I'm evil, aren't I?

Still, that's just one way it can go, and not even the best way I can think of.

You have me intrigued about how the Dynamic of his Element vs. his Phantom powers will play into this. The Kurama analogy his apt, from the sound of it. Still, we've seen Wizard achieve Infinity Style, so we know Eric KNOWS about it, though achieving his version would be a whole other thing entirely.

Further, if I may say so, your guy has potential to use more than just the Wizard system. After all, what self-respecting fan of Kamen Rider dreams of only using ONE system? I've got a top 5 list I'd use in a heart-beat, and know enough of the others to likely be able to use most of them...the ones that won't kill me right away anyway...damn you Kiva and 555s....

I digress, at the end of the day, any story with certain Rider systems will have me interested. But it'll take good writing and good characters to keep me coming back.

Also, the move with having Luna actually be possessed, dude, you won me over with that one. Makes the most sense, plays well into the story...PLUS, we have major sympathy points that Luna can cash in on as a main character now!! Seriously, this story has so much win potential! Best of luck!

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Just to make this clear to everyone that reads these comments...Eric only has watched up until Episode 5 of Kamen Rider Wizard and does not know about his armor's higher forms except for rumors.

Comment posted by 90pulser deleted Aug 17th, 2013

Pretty awesome that Scootaloo has an Imajin partner. It will be hilarious when Diamond Tiara gets involved. Unless...


hawaiilife.com/articles/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Cat_shocked.jpg

Diamond Tiara gets her own bad one.:pinkiegasp:

DO IT!!!!!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

it would be nice to see u continue with these stories again, they r quite good...

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I would to, but at the moment I have too many ideas running through my head to write properly and college is taking some of my sweet writing time as well.

I am close to getting the next chapter out; though I would like someone/pony to help me edit my stories. Editing has always been a big problem with me since I'm more of a writer. If you know anyone please send them my way if they don't mind helping a person like me.

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There's a wizard soundboard??? :rainbowderp:

SHOW ME!!!!!! :flutterrage::flutterrage:

Sorry. :fluttershyouch: I just got excited to hear something like that. It would help me out of my writing funk if you could send it my way please. :fluttercry:

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I know that guy, I've played with a few of his soundboards before. Didn't know he had a Wizard one. Guess i need to swing on by there and check it out. :pinkiehappy::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2:

Comment posted by Xenoguyver deleted Jan 23rd, 2014

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I just checked it out. It would be VERY handy when reading this fic or any fic that has Kamen Rider Wizard in it.

still waiting for updates...on this and ur Eternal story...

He from the 80 's? that's a new one

So Scootaloo has an Imajin, IF SHE DOESN'T BECOME DEN-O I WILL BE DISSAPOINT:flutterrage:
By the way, have a token from my character

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