Chapter 16
Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis were staying behind the Arabian prince but making sure he didn't leave their sight.
“Why isn't anypony questioning why he is here? I would never expect Blueblood to invite somepony that isn't local, they wouldn't be able to suck up to him otherwise.” Fleur said.
“Maybe they don't care? Maybe they don't want to associate with him? He is a different species so these nobles probably don't want to talk to somepony they think they are better than.” Fancy replied.
“Are all ponies in Canterlot so shallow?”
“Of course not. Those who aren't wouldn't let themselves suck up to the birthday boy, so they weren't invited.” Fleur looked at Fancy Pants with a frown.
“We don't suck up to him though?”
“No, I simply act kind to all. Blueblood just assumes I suck up to him.” They were about to continue until they saw the new being stop in his tracks. They pretended to talk to each other while keeping an eye on his movements, he just turned to his side slightly and put his hand to his chin in thought. He stopped and then changed direction, moving towards where the bar was.
XXX
Sam slowly climbed the stairs, making sure that no one was following behind him or that there was anyone up ahead. He kept a hold of his pipe in case the need to smack a bitch arose, he never knew when he'd need to smack a bitch. He kept climbing the stairs until he reached the second floor.
“Finally, the second floor. Time to get this cello!” He said happily, until he saw two hallways with a few sets of doors going along them. “Fucking seriously? I swear if there are more stallions shagging in one of these then I'm just leaving.” He groaned.
Sam set out and reached the first door. There weren't as many as downstairs and they were set further apart from each other, indicating the rooms were probably larger. The first room he was in took him by surprise, there were a few oval tables with seats placed around it. Sam recognised it as a poker table and behind it was one for blackjack, many different gambling tables were placed in the room the more Sam looked.
“Wow, I gotta get in on this. Been a while since I played poker, might be able to cut this debt down decently.” After scanning the room for anything cello like and failing to find anything, he left the room and shut the door. The next room was very easy to figure out. There were lots of circular tables with gold poles coming out of the tables.
“Strip joint huh? I'm starting to get used to all the weird shit now, wonder if my pipe is part of this stuff. Sam shut the door and tried a few more rooms until one caught his eye. More like his ear. Sam placed his ear against the door and could hear muffled yells and shuffling inside, followed by a voice yelling “Please! Don't!” He quickly opened the door to see a blue stallion with a curled blond mane walking towards the back of the room. The room seemed to be a lot cleaner with a long red sofa at the back, a curtain to the side and a manikin on the opposite side.
“Come on dear, we know you're not going to do much better than me.” A male voice said, clearly the stallion in view.
“P-Please! Stay back! I don't want this!” A female voice sobbed.
'No way... Surely he's not going to...' Sam thought.
“Oh you will, you'll want it and you'll enjoy it.” The stallion said. The mare sobbed a little more and Sam opened the door quietly, gripping the pipe tightly. He approached the stallion from behind, staying down until he reached the stallions back. He rose up and tapped the stallion on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, ever seen stars inside a building?” The stallion quickly turned round.
“What the-” The stallion couldn't finish his sentence before Sam slammed the pipe into the side of the stallions head. There was no blood as the stallion fell but a bruise did rise pretty quickly.
“Oh yeah! I saved someone, look at me and my bad self. You got owned bitch! You may have your special species powers but you don't frighten me.” The stallion then let out a groan, catching Sam off guard and making him squeal. He quickly smacked the stallion again. “Down people should stay down!” He said in fear.
“T-thank you for helping me.” The female voice said. Sam knelt down, his hat hiding his face, to check the stallion wasn't too badly injured, just knocked out.
“It's no problem miss. Are you ok?” He said as he started to stand back up and face the mare.
“Y-yes, just in a little bit of a sho-... Sam? Is that you?”
Sam just stared at the mare he saved. “Well I'll be damned... What a reunion this is.”
XXX
Josh had taken a drink of water from the bar and looked around, spotting a pair in his peripheral vision.
“Shit, they're still following me. I shouldn't have talked to them, that was stupid of me.” He muttered to himself. He then looked around the room, seeing all the ponies at the party. “I gotta lose them in the crowd somehow. Why would they want to follow me anyway? It's not like I've done anything... yet.” He drank the rest of his water before getting up and walking over to the large group of ponies.
He saw in the reflection of some of the club windows that they were still tailing him. He couldn't speed up in case he drew more unwanted attention to himself and confronting them would probably end in the same way, probably worse.
'I need a distraction to block them.' He thought to himself. Josh looked all around to find something, anything, that could get them away from him. 'Come on, they say games don't help you but all that Assassin's Creed and Dishonoured has to come in use here one way or another...' He eventually spotted an orange pegasus standing with her back to a green earth pony mare. They were both in a little group of ponies each and the human spotted that the pegasus mare had a bag hanging around her and Josh saw his chance.
He made his way over to the table of food and looked around the cuisine.
“Come on, come on, there must be something here... ah hah!” Josh whispered to himself. He picked up a cup then dipped his finger in it. “It seemed to be too good to be true. Cold fucking soup.” He sighed at the atrocity to food but knew it'd work for his plan. He made his way over to the pegasus mare and when he wasn't being seen, he poured the soup into the mares bag then placed his cup back on the food table. Josh made his way back over to the pegasus mare and began talking.
“Excuse me miss, I have been asked to inform you that something seems to have been placed in your purse.”
XXX
“What in Equestria is he doing? Why did he pour the soup into that young mares bag?”Fancy asked, more to himself than his wife. The scene unfolded and began to make sense as he said something to the mare, causing her to reach into her purse and recoil in disgust. She then turned back to the male who said something else to her while pointing at her.
“Wait a minute...” Fancy said.. He saw that the odd stallion wasn't pointing at her, but the mare behind her. Everything seemed to go fast as the pegasus mare started yelling at the earth pony behind her, the innocent earth pony obviously began retaliating. Fancy just watched the chaos as the groups started arguing with each other.
“Why would he do that?” Fancy asked himself out loud.
“Dear! Look at him!” Fleur quickly ordered. Fancy looked at the male they'd be following just in time to see him give a wink in their direction before disappearing behind the fight.
XXX
'Heh, let's see them follow me now.' Josh thought in triumph as he made his way out of sight, leaving the argument he caused behind him. He let out a small sigh. 'Why wasn't anyone I know able to see that? I'll never be able to be that clever again.' He thought to himself, slightly depressed. 'Speaking of, I better go get Sam. Wonder where he buggered off to.'
XXX
“So you're in here in case any of the ponies downstairs ruin their clothes?” Sam asked the cream mare. She nodded, her blond mane covering one of her eyes before she moved it back in place.
“That's right.” Quick Stitch replied. “Prince Blueblood wanted to make sure that all his guests looked presentable at all times. He felt that anypony that looked scruffy would reflect on his social standing.”
“Wow. His head is further up his arse than I thought. So why you? I thought you were the castle seamstress, not one for hire.”
“I am, Prince Blueblood lives in the castle. He is the nephew of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna after all.” Quick Stitch stated. Sam's jaw dropped as sudden implications began flying into his mind.
“Oh shit... I didn't know that! Why didn't that occur to me before?! He's a prince so of course he'll be related to the princesses, oh damn it all! We owe those two as much as it is, we don't need to add 'nephew's party crashing' to their list.” Sam began panicking but Quick Stitch put his fears to rest easily.
“I shouldn't think it'd be too bad, even the princesses can't stand him. Wait, why were you invited anyway?”
“Me an Josh are helping out a friend. Blueblood has her room mates cello in the storeroom here and we came to get it back before he sells it or turns it into firewood or whatever the hell he plans to do.” Sam looked up at her suddenly with widened eyes. “Say, don't suppose you know where the storeroom is do you?”
“Of course I do, I take it you want me to lead you there?” Sam nodded eagerly.
“Yes please, I've seen shit in here I'd never have seen coming... Oh crap.” Sam said, shaking his head to get rid of the memory. Quick Stitch just giggled at his behaviour.
“Every town has a dark side Sam and what better way is there for somepony with a lot of bits to spend their time than flaunting their wealth around?” She asked. Sam looked at her confused before shrugging.
“Good point, we got a lot of that in our world too. This place just seemed so innocent.”
“Wasn't you kidnapped by changelings, a race that feeds on love both emotional and physical?”
Sam sighed and stood up. “Yeah yeah, alright. Come on, let's go.” Quick Stitch nodded before standing up. As she made her way behind Sam, her hoof caught the body on the floor.
“What do we do about him?” She asked. Sam hummed in thought before snapping his fingers, he picked up the body and carried him towards a broom cupboard he spotted at the side of the room, quickly throwing the body inside then clapping his hands together.
“All fixed, let's go.”
XXX
Josh found the backroom, there were a few waiters moving around but none of them seemed to pay Josh any mind. He slowly but confidently made his way through the waiters, making sure to keep his head up.
'Remember what you Australian English teacher taught you. Act like you belong and no one will question it.' Josh reminded himself, he loved that teacher, best one he ever had. 'I better not tell Twilight that when she starts teaching me and Sam about that magic, she might pull a Pinkie Pie on me.' He made his way through until he finally found a pair of large, wooden doors.
“Excuse me.” He said to one of the passing waiters. “Is this the service lift that leads to the storage room?” He asked.
“Yes sir. May I ask why?”
“Prince Blueblood has allowed me to store a valuable item of mine in the storage room however he said I may only take it out of the building through the back room here.” The waiter nodded in response.
“Then you were given the key?”
“What key?” Josh asked.
“Prince Blueblood has the key for the back door so that nopony could break into his party. I assume he gave it to you so that you could open the door?” The waiter asked.
“Not yet but he said I was welcome to go get it from him when I needed it.” The waiter nodded and then took his leave. Josh sighed and looked up at the lift. “Of course I need a key. I would've rethought my decision of coming here if I knew I needed to do multiple stealthy fetch quests. I should get hold of Sam and let him know.” Josh saw a button next to the lift before hitting it, allowing the lift to come down.
He got in the lift and pressed another button, causing it to go up. “Hope he's having more luck than I am.” Josh muttered. The lift stopped moving and opened, showing a lit room filled with different boxes. Josh moved forward, looking around the room.
“Huh, so where's th- OW!” Josh recoiled and grabbed the back of his head in pain. He swivled round and his eyes were set on his ginger friend, a long black pipe in his hand. “The fuck is wrong with you?!” He yelled. Sam grinned sheepishly and put the pipe to his side.
“Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”
“Who else did you know is coming up to the storeroom?!”
“Well I'm sorry I don't have x- ray fucking vision!”
“Is everything ok Sam?” A female voice asked. Josh looked around for the voice.
“Who said that?!” Josh spoke. A box crawled along the floor slightly causing Josh to jump. The box lifted up and the familiar form of Quick Stitch rose from the floor. “Quick Stitch? The hell are you doing here?”
“Prince Blueblood employed my services to help anypony that ruined their clothing.” She explaine. The moment she saw Sam's weapon, she turned a very visibly red.
“You alright Quick?” Sam asked. She umm'd and ahh'd a little in response.
“S-Sam, do you know what that is?” She asked, pointing to the pipe. Sam looked between her and the pipe before shrugging.
“A pipe?” He asked. Quick Stitch shook her head before making her way over to Sam's side and whispering in his ear. His face quickly went to one of disgust before dropping the pipe.
“Urrrgh!” He said as he began wiping his hands on Josh's robe.
“What? What is it?” Josh asked.
“It's a fucking pony dildo!” Sam said, still wiping. Josh's face also turned to disgust and he moved away.
“Well don't wipe it on me you prick! Bloody hell, I come up here to see if you've made any progress and I get ambushed by Solid Stitch and Gordan Freecock!” He said with a sigh.
“Oh shut up!” Sam retorted. “We've found the poxy cello alright? Come on.” Sam motioned for his friends to follow behind. In the corner of the room was a large cello with 'Octavia' written along the edge at the bottom.
“Good, that's half the job done then.” Josh said.
“Yup, now did you find a way out?” Sam replied.
“Yeah, through that lift is the backroom of this place that has a door going outside.”
“Great. Let's get going!” Sam said with a smile.
“We can't.” Josh replied. “It's locked and birthday boy has the key.”
“So how are you going to get it from him?” Quick Stitch asked.
“That's a good question Stitchy, one I haven't yet got an answer for.”
Sam let out a deep sigh. “This is becoming one tedious fetch quest.”
“Pretty much what I said.”
“So Blueblood has the key to the back door of this place and we need to somehow get it from him. Isn't there any other way?” Sam asked. Josh just sighed and shook his head. “Shit.” Sam growled and looked over the room, eventually an idea formed in his mind and Sam grew a wicked smile. “I just got a great idea. Hey Stitch, I take it you got a shoe box we can borrow, right?”
“Of course, why?” She asked. Sam just got a little grin.
“Because me and Josh are gonna have a little disagreement.”
“Is it going to end well?” She asked.
“Who knows, but we are bringing you with us when we get out.” He stated bluntly.
“W-what? But I can't just leave! What will the Prince say?”
“Trust me, if this goes how we want it to, you being gone will be far from his concerns.”
XXX
Blueblood sat on his artificial throne, feeling as powerful as he thought he should always be. Ponies had been coming up to him, offering him gifts and giving him deserved praise. He looked over the ponies he had invited an smiled smugly.
'Hmph, good to see that these ponies know their place, unlike other ponies I've known. That ghastly gala shall remain burned into my memory for eternity, what an uncouth foal that Rarity was.' He was quickly broken out of his musings by some odd shouting. He saw there was some kind of argument going on in the crowd. Blueblood stepped off of his throne and made his way towards the commotion, spotting two beings he hadn't remembered invite.
'What in Equestria are these... things? And what are they doing interrupting my celebration?' He walked over to the two beings, seeing that they were fighting over a gift wrapped box.
“It should be me!” One dressed in grey stated.
“No, it should be me!” The other, dressed in white, said.
“What is going here?” Blueblood asked, looking down his nose at the two. They both spied the prince before dropping to one knee.
“Prince Blueblood! It is an honour to meet you.” The one in grey said. “My name is Phillip Charming, this is my associate Ali Ababwa.”
“We are from the new Saiyan Empire up north. We wished to come here and meet with your race to start a good relation, we were advised to start here and bring you a gift.” Ali said.
“However Ali Ababwa was trying to take the glory of giving you your gift whereas I was the one entrusted with the task.” Phillip said with some spite.
“You were ordered to look over the gift, I was charged with giving it to the Prince!” Ali retorted. The two growled at each other while Blueblood smirked.
'Ah, so even a newly formed empire know greatness when they see it.' He thought as he puffed his chest out a little.
“Do not worry, I shall accept it from the both of you with great pride.” He said smugly. The two jumped up happily and hugged the prince tightly.
“Thank you dear Prince Blueblood! We are most grateful.” Ali said cheerfully. Blueblood wore a face of shock before pushing them off.
“Enough! You could wrinkle my suit!” He said with slight anger, checking his clothing for any imperfections. The two bowed.
“Of course, so sorry dear prince! We shall go and send a message to our superiors immediately.” Phillip said before the both of them disappeared into the crowd. Blueblood shook his head and sighed before looking around all his guests.
“Behold fellow nobles! A gift bestowed upon me from a growing empire, this shows the amount of prestige my name holds through Equestria and they will clearly tell their later generations of my greatness.” He announced. All guests gathered round an watched him open his gift.
“Sweet Celestia!” A guest cried before all the nobles began stifling laughter. Inside the box was an erotic phallic toy, around the shaft was a ribbon and a tag that said “Have fun ;)”. Blueblood's face went red with fury and embarrassment as he looked around for the two.
XXX
“Come on! We've got to keep moving!” Quick Stitch announced as the three ran away from the club.
“Easy for you to say!” Sam yelled back. “You're not carrying a bloody cello!” He had the instrument on his back with the neck resting on his shoulder, Josh was holding the back end of the cello.
“Sam, as much as I loved your 'steal the key by hugging him and giving him something embarrassing' plan, this part is poorly thought through a frankly, a bit shit!” Josh moaned at him.
“Like you could do any better!" He replied. "Just keep going until we get to the station, then the girls can help us out.” Sam puffed. It wasn't long before they eventually reached the station and saw a familiar group of mares.
“Where have you guys been?! It's almost time for the train to leave!” Vinyl yelled.
“Yeah Vinyl, you're welcome for us getting the bloody cello back and don't worry, we can load this ourselves!” Josh retorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Vinyl just shrugged in response.
“Ok then, suit yourselves.”
“Just help us already!”
It didn't take much time before they boarded the train, the unicorns in the group carrying the cello to a back carriage whilst the boys relaxed on the chairs. Eventually all the ponies were back in the carriage, Josh had a window seat with Vinyl next to him and Colgate next to her. Sam sat next to Quick Stitch with her getting the window seat and Lyra sat on another seat with Bon Bon.
“I can... honestly say... I never want to... have that much fun ever again.” Josh said in between pants. Sam couldn't answer him and just nodded.
“I'm really grateful to you guys for helping me out. When the club in town is open again, all your drinks are on me.” Vinyl offered.
“It's no problem.” Josh answered.
“You guys are incredible, I don't know any pony that would do something like that! You must have a great story!” Lyra said.
“Yeah... we do...” Sam replied drowsily.
“Is it filled with adventure? Were you like spies? How did you meet this girl? Did you get your cover blown? How did you-” Colgate said before being cut off by snoring. She looked over to see that Quick Stitch had fallen asleep on Sam's shoulder and he'd fallen asleep using her mane as a pillow.
“Oh oops, can you fill us in Jo-” She was cut off again as Vinyl shushed her. Josh had fallen asleep as well, using Vinyl's shoulder as a pillow. They all giggled at the sight of the three.
“You know what Colgate? You were right.” Vinyl said, causing Colgate to tilt her head. Vinyl stroked her hand idly across the side of Josh's sleeping face. “He is quite cute, isn't he?” They all smiled chuckled a little at Vinyl's content face as the train made it's way back to Ponyville.
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Great Chapter.
fucking funny as hell.
oh wow now this was awesome and crazy chapter.
you deserve a 
That scene with Blueblood
images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/7/73/Roflcopter.gif
Justice against Blueblood and they got away scot free?
SS Rank mission complete.
2977049 I didn't even know I made a scrubs reference, where did I do that?
I love this story your doing great
2977337 Lol! Oh yeah, I remember now, so many jokes I tried to put in here, I forgot half of them
You did an awesome job on this story I'm glad that everything happened really well for the heroes it was certainly uncommon for this kind of plan to work. It's just too bad they didn't ask Quick Stitch to ask Blueblood or maybe it's a good thing they didn't....
2978839 Actually poxy is London cockney slang, it means when something has been a nuisance to you.
t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRscpcz_BN0wOX7fuXrUZrzRTk0fCtQc1R9ZjWU4S-zR-DE_PKi
SOLID STITCH
CALLED IT
also: i loved the scrubs reference
overall, this was a great chapter
2978917 Lol don't, it's mainly from south London.
Men what the princesses will say when they find out what they did and the prank…I think their depth had just got reduce to half of what they own
*sees what Josh and Sam left in the box, rereads a few times* Well... Score one for the humans, plus, like, a thousand points for bonus creativity!
Solid Stitch. 'Nough said.
Update please
I can't WAIT for the next chapter to go up.
3125465 It's taken a lot longer than it should have due to procrastination, illness and a birthday party for my mum. The next chapter will be up soon with any luck.
Alrighty. And I'm sorry to hear about the illness bit.
3128060 Meh, weren't too bad, I'm fine now
That's good.
This made me laugh so hard! Can't wait for more of this story!
Blueblood got whats comin to him!!!!!!
why dos this not have more likes? its awesome
Omg. This was too rich, to many good things,to many hilarious lines! Best chapter ever!
Hahahahahha oohhh god my sides my sides darn this new body, that was simply hilarious hahhhahahah owwww ha.
Have fun blueblood
Okay, Rarity is my least favorite of the six, but who else wants to stick a broomstick up his arse?
This is quickly turning into one of my favorite fics.
And this is yet another occasion in which I wish I could favorite a chapter.
Someone needs to make a comic of this chapter.
I admit, I skimmed through this one and didn't read much of the last few chapters. The 'Prince Blueblood has no redeeming qualities and does nothing but act horrible' had been overused to the point where I just want to tune it out.
Otherwise, liking the story.