Rarity Becomes a Toaster

by xara

The Best Thing Since

Rarity, a kind and generous unicorn pony, designer, fashionista, and occasionally diva, woke up and was a toaster.

She opened her eyes; well, she got the feeling that she had opened her eyes, and she could somehow see, but across the shiny, metallic surface of what passed for her body, she did not in fact have any eyes. Nor did she have ears, nose, horn, mane, tail, or hooves. She was looking out from one side of her toaster shape, instinctively assigning it the designation of 'front'.

She was sitting, or standing... well, she was on a counter top, facing the rest of the room. She saw shelf after shelf lined with books and scrolls; tables topped with quill, paper, and ink gave her the immediate recognition of Twilight's tree-house lower room.

What in Celestia's sun-burnt flank is going on? she shrieked in her thoughts, no sound emanating from her. She tried to look around, but the desire had no effect; her sight was locked in place, taking in the view with no means to alter it. I've been... transformed?!

A window pane on the opposite side of the wall had just enough reflectivity in the morning light to reveal what she had become. Toasters weren't unheard of in Equestria, so the realization dawned quickly. Equestrian toasters did not use electricity, of course (said technology not yet being a part of the pony repertoire), but contained small charms which allowed the heating elements to activate when powered by magic. For that reason, they were generally only found in unicorn homes or unicorn-run restaurants, and even then, only the more upscale ones.

She hadn't been dreaming, at least, not that she could recall, and there had been nothing odd about the previous night when she had slipped below the covers of her luxurious silken sheets. She hadn't recently found an unexplained mystical object or been on a quest of great import. She hadn't tried to cast a dangerous spell which had the chance to backfire, nor had Twilight asked her to volunteer for magical spell-testing. All the same, she was a toaster.

Her back felt warm. Her body cast a hint of shadow across the counter-top; she must be in front of one of the windows. After making that conclusion, she realized that feeling the warmth at all meant she had sensation other than sight. She closed off her vision and tried to extend her mind towards the warmth, trying to reel in any other feelings.

Coolness from the front, the shiny metal section that was shaded from the early morning rays. Four little nubs from below gave the sense of pressure; they must be the 'feet' resting atop the counter. On her front were two knobs that gave the impression of turn-ability, and on each side she felt the presence of a lever. Her insides felt... incredibly strange. She felt naked, almost shameful, which for a pony was entirely new. Ponies sometimes wore clothes, of course, for events and celebrations, but otherwise went around happily unclad without a wayward glance or comment. Instead, she felt exposed, the coils of her heating elements touching the air that entered through the four slots lined up in her top.

How could Twilight leave me sitting out here like this? she thought, irritated. Didn't the mare know about toaster cozies? She would happily have sewn together a pretty design to match the decor here, such as it was, but this felt lewd to lay here with knobs and slots there for all the world to see.

Magic. She had to try her magic. She had no horn, but maybe... if she focused...

If she'd had lips, she would have been biting the lower one, closing her eyes and trying to bring up the glow that surrounded a unicorn's horn when she channeled magic. Perhaps the hint of a spark, but... otherwise, nothing happened. She was trapped!

Of all the worst things that could happen! This was intolerable!

Movement from the side of her eyes and the sound of hoofbeats (Ah, so she had hearing, as well) interrupted her building pout. Twilight! Her friend would surely be able to render assistance, but how could Rarity get her attention without being able to use magic?

Twilight appeared in Rarity's vision, her eyes a little bleary and her mouth opening to fit the gaping maw of a yawn-stretched mouth. The unicorn approached the far window, pushing it open along the hinge, letting in a tiny breeze that crossed the room and tickled Rarity's top. From a table to the side, Twilight levitated a small brush, running it through her ruffled mane a dozen times or so until it approached normalcy, then repeated the action on her tail. She returned to the edge of Rarity's vision, moving to the bottom of the stairs before calling out in a mild shout.

"Spike? Are you having breakfast today?" called out Twilight up the staircase.

Rarity could hear a faint, muffled voice, but could not make out the reply that the baby dragon gave.

"Sleep late if you want, Spike, but you'll have to cook your own meal if you don't join me."

Again a muffled voice, a little louder.

"Okay, you cranky night-dragon!"

Twilight moved from the library/study area and came over to the kitchen, with its cupboards, counters, and small wood-burning oven. Rarity tried to focus once more on casting a spell; she had felt a little spark of her magic, but something was interfering. If she could make one of her knobs spin or one of the levers pop while her friend was close, she could alert the pony, who would hopefully investigate the odd occurrence.

Focus, focus Rarity!

Twilight swung open the door of the oven, channeling her own magic with ease, touching her horn to the pile of sticks and logs inside, igniting the packed tinder with a quick flash. As the fire spread, lighting the thicker pieces of wood, she lifted a hoof and closed the door. Moving to the cupboards, she retrieved a frying pan, gripping the handle in her teeth and laying it on the stove-top. From a cabinet below that counter, she pulled out a clear glass bowl, then walked over near where Rarity sat.

Twilight... thought Rarity. She urged one of the levers to pop to surprise her friend, but neither would budge. She pictured her body rocking forward suddenly, smacking the counter and startling Twilight, who would save her, but that didn't happen either.

"Hmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-ahhh-ah-ah," Twilight hummed, pawing open a cabinet below Rarity's sight. "And awesome holi-daaays... " An egg carton appeared, coming to rest in front of the toaster-pony, and it flipped open, followed by three eggs flying out from within. Returning to the bowl, Twilight gave each egg a tiny, sharp rap against the counter's edge before spilling the egg's innards into the bowl, dumping the shell into a trash-can. She opened a drawer; with a whisk, she brushed through the yolks and whites, turning them into a scrambled mixture. This she poured into the frying pan which sat on the heating stove.

Twilight came back to the counter-top in front of Rarity, closing the carton and returning it below. She came back up with...

Ohhh, no-no-no-no-no-no-no!

...a loaf of bread.

Another drawer opened, and a serrated bread-knife deftly cut one, two, three, four slices from the loaf, while Rarity panicked. Twilight, don't! she tried to call out. Ignoring the unheard protest, Twilight lifted a hoof, placing it on the edge of the bar which turned the toaster's knobs, spinning each from light to dark. Rarity shivered, in her mind at least, as her friend's light touch sent a little shock through her metallic body. She knew what was coming next... and she had no way to prevent it.

The bread slices lifted into the air. Rarity desperately tried to cover her slots, but she had no hooves, nothing to move to protect herself. She watched with dread as they approached.

Gasp! Violation! The first slice entered her left-most opening; the fluffy white baked-dough pressing against both sides within. The feeling of exposure tripled within Rarity and with three small pops the other slices entered her, but a new sensation was rising. The heating coils beside the slice seemed to lean towards each piece, trying to press against them despite her protestations. She hadn't wanted the slices inside her, but, well, they were a little comforting in the way they nuzzled there. Still...

Twilight moved her hoof to the side of the toaster and it descended upon the lever. Rarity felt tension build up inside her as the lever lowered, first on one side, then the other.

And then... heat. Not like the sun-warming that still shone on her back, from heat from her body itself, the magic charms powering the coils that stretched out inside as they grew hot.

She couldn't stop the sensation. Each coil shone upon the sides of the bread within, but Rarity felt as if she were sweating, and the thought of lip-biting returned, along the idea that she was being tickled. Or perhaps it was more like an itch she couldn't reach. The heat within her grew and grew, causing the itch to feel both satisfied and as though it was growing wider and wider and she couldn't reach it all.

With another gasp, she realized it had become pleasurable. Each slice reflected back some of the warmth; her whole body had become a reservoir of heat. Had she not wanted the slices inside? She could sense each of them growing stiff as they cooked inside her body. The tension was loosening from the levers; suddenly Rarity felt a flash of anger. They were going to leave her - she had to keep the hard dough inside!

She struggled, fighting back the growing urge to release the bread, but the heat was touching her very core, and she was losing what little control she had.

Oh, oh sun! she cried in her mind. A massive wave of ecstasy rushed through her body, and she let out a mind-gasp as she released, spilling the dark-brown slices of bread into the air above her.

Twilight, having seen to the eggs while this was going on, came over and, happily humming still, pulled the slices out one by one and placed them on a plate. Rarity felt drained.

There was a knock at the door; Twilight brought the plate to her table, then turned to see who had arrived.

"Oh, hi Twilight," came Fluttershy's soft greeting. "I don't mean to bother you... I'm sorry for interrupting your breakfast, but... "

"It's okay, Fluttershy, what's going on?"

"It's just... I was supposed to have spa day with Rarity, only she hasn't shown up, and... "

"Mmm, well, I haven't seen her, I'm afraid."

"Ohh kay... sorry!"

Before she could hear the last of the conversation, there was a sudden snap and a rush of wind, and then Rarity was at home - in her pony body again!

"What in the hoof?!" she shrieked.

"Why, Rarity, didn't you like my gift?" came the voice of a familiar antagonist.

"You... you... you did this?" Rarity spun around, searching for the source of his voice, which came, oddly enough, from a face poking out of her bedroom wall, leering at her. Discord!

"But of course, my little pony. Why, after you all went to such lengths to defeat and then reform me, I've learned such wonderful," the word was delivered with a little mockery, "things about the magic of friendship. In light of your generosity, why, I thought I would give you a gift to remember!"

Rarity stamped her hoof on the floor. "You... !"

The face in the wall laughed, one eye becoming as large as a dinner plate just as the other shrunk to the size of a coin. "Well, I suppose if you didn't care for it... " Discord's whole visage began to dissipate.

"Wait!" cried Rarity.

"Yeeeessssssssss?"

The unicorn blushed. "Erm. I suppose I wouldn't mind if... I got that gift again sometime. But on my own terms!" she insisted.

After all, that feeling... it had been one of the Best. Feelings. Ever.

Discord cackled, and vanished.

Comments

[xara]

Yes, I was... er... heavily inebriated when both the concept and initial writing were done
My shame knows no bounds

[Rainbow87dash]

Now this is an idea that should be Cannon
Nopony likes Rarity

[The Rar]

...
Wow.

[mapu]

mmm toast

[FloydienSlip]

[Pixels]

What.

[Yukito]

I read this, laughed, and was about to compliment Blueshift on another job well done... then realised you were a different author ^_^;;

But, yeah, job well done! I give this five Trixies out of five!

[The Rar]

2031328
Everypony loves Rarity.
That's why we need her to make toast.
Then there will be another feature to love.
Because we all love toast.
Therefore we all love Rarity.

[xara]

2031397
This is what a demented mind creates after a bottle of wine, 1/3rd of champagne, and a few screwdrivers. I think having "suited for success" playing in the background helped.

[Prince Solstice]

lolwithme.org/wp-content/uploads/Im-Gonna-Crumb.png

Is this supposed to be like a Clop fic for toasters?
Sounds like Kafka's Metamorphosis. Except the protagonist turns into a cockroach and is quickly hated and killed by his family for the inconvenience he put on them.

[xara]

2031436
rofl at that pic.
Yeah, I've read The Metamorphosis like...ages ago. I have enough sadness in my stories that I wouldn't make Rarity end up dead in her room!

[Prince Solstice]

2031451
No I wouldn't think you would crush Rarity under the hoof of Twilight or anything like that. Although I didn't know my toaster felt ecstasy when I turned it on. Kind of makes you look at other things around your house and think to yourself 'What a whore.'

[Impress Me]

2031328 Blasphemy. I don't like RD. And since I don't like RD obviously no one else likes RD. Kidding. But seriously though.

[Minalkra]

I just went to make breakfast. English Muffins. Toasted.

It felt so beautifully wrong. Also, Rarity is best pone.

[IamaDeadUser]

I will never use my toaster in the same way...

[xara]

2031468
I think my oven has the hots for someone else now :(
And my fridge is only giving me the cold shoulder.

[GorillaJab]

2031493

I think my oven has the hots for someone else now :(
And my fridge is only giving me the cold shoulder

This comment. This comment right here ^ ?
It's fucking hilarious. Have a good day.

[Regidar]

I'd eat that toast...

[jz1]

This was very... interesting, to say the least, although it does give me an idea.

Could you write more stories where other ponies get turned into household appliances? That would be really cool.

[The Rar]

2031585
I demand that Twilight be morphed into an electric whisk.

[jz1]

2031604
How about AppleJack becoming a refrigerator?

[Limey]

Rarity becomes a toaster.
Sex tag.
Wat.

[ManlyDerp]

... What

What
What
What...
...What

... More?

[The Rar]

2031625
Yes.
Good.
We have a plan.
Get on it author!

[xara]

I... I don't even...

[xara]

So
Rarity the Toaster
Applejack the Fridge
Twilight the Whisk

zomg start of an epic mini-series!

[The Rar]

2031807
I think it could possibly be the greatest thing ever.

[Commodore64]

Sums it up

[Rainbow87dash]

2031471 nah I'm not saying everpony doesn't like her
She's just irritating to me

She's a posh snob who should learn to keep her nose out of other ponies business. Oh and she should stop tricking RD into modelling for her, she knows RD hates it

[xara]

2031958

Some of my biggest feels moments have been with Rarity & Sweetie

[Rainbow87dash]

Meh I know when I'm not wanted

[Impress Me]

2031958 Nope. Shes classy and sophisticated. A quality women are sorely lacking these days . She also has an infectious laugh. RD on the other hand is smug and overbearing with her "Hey guys check out all the crap I can do" attitude. The fact that she made it to the Wonderbolt academy with that all-for-one personality is beyond me.

[Prince Solstice]

2031958
Whoa whoa whoa whoa, Rarity being a bitch makes her best pony. She just needs to get laid is all, which is the point of this story right?
JK, all Ponies have equal distribution of awesomeness to me.

So I think Fluttershy should be a bathtub... It would seem fitting in an ironic way.

[Impress Me]

2031807 RD a lamp. Pinkie a blender, and Fluttershy can be a literal doormat.

[xara]

2032067
That'd mean another pony bathing IN her... yikes. erm... ha.

[The Rar]

2031958
Come now, Rainbow Dash looks sexy in those dresses.
Rarity is doing you favours.

[The Rar]

2032075
I like the way you think good sir.
Now, onto the real questions.
What type of lamp would RD be?
Would she be made of pine or plasic?
Would she be economicaly friendly?
Will she be pink?
Oh the questions!

[Prince Solstice]

2032080
Yea, imagine her reaction to all of that, especially if it's pleasuring to her.

[xara]

2032109
google.com/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://th08.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/230/3/1/rainbow_dash_loves_her_lava_lamp_by_ponyengineer-d5bj669.png&sa=X&ei=ZqMFUZaoNMLVqAHQloCYDg&ved=0CAoQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNGuXyoSMlswlCYBmIiOaD1a8JZHpw

[Impress Me]

2032109
1. OOOH Lava lamp! Never thought of that...
2. Definitely plastic.
3. Fuck the economy. Wasteful is MUCH cooler.
4. White. It stands out best. And she loves standing out.

[The Rar]

2032117
Is it wrong that I could look at that image for literal hours?

[The Rar]

2032149
Make it so!

[Rainbow87dash]

2032048 LEAVE ME ALONE

[Rainbow87dash]

2032117 you have to make a fic outta that pic

[Impress Me]

2032165 I can't steal xara's idea. How can I be better than him if I'm using his ideas? I would be like Carlos Mancia

[The Rar]

2032190
Rainbow Dash becomes a lamp.
Plot twist: She's a crime fighting lamp.

[xara]

2032174
2032190

lol, I don't even know what a lava lamp, or any lamp, would 'experience'. It just goes on or off >_>

[Impress Me]

2032200 Pinkie becomes a blender.
Plot twist for a tragedy fic: Someone uses Pinkie to blend vegetables.

[The Rar]

2032207
This could have possibly sparked the greatest series of stories ever writen.

[Impress Me]

2032226 Damn right it did. If anyone's out there please.... Make this a reality.