• Published 23rd Jan 2012
  • 10,061 Views, 171 Comments

Twillight Sparkle’s awesome adventure - Yonasomun

Twillight Sparkle has an awesome adventure .

  • ...

Last Part PART II – The final standoff of final fate

“But how could you survived. Worst pony shoot you in the head? And shooting in the head kills vampire sajain Admirals.” Said Enemy Boss Leader.

“Well in fact I’m ot a vampire sajajin Admiral.” Said ADMIRAL Awesome.

Everybody gasped.

“I’m also a Jedi knigt. That’s why I survived shooting in the head.” Said ADMIRAL Awesome.

Everybody gasped again.

“Oh no. I didn’t know that.” Screamed Enemy Boss Leader.

“Neither did I.” said ADMIRAL Awesome.

“And now I’m gonna killing you fast.” Said ADMIARAL Awesome and jumped forward.

But then some guards used their Bazookas and shoot holes into ADMRAL Awesomes body and then he droped on the ground and was death.

Naaahhh just kidding…

Instead he jumped over the rockets – Kai Leng style but only cooler and only better – and started killing the guards. The other Alicorns soon joined the fight and there was a big battle.

“What are we going to do. We’re losing.” Screamed an Eltie Elite Guard.

“Don’t worry I have a back-up plan.” Said Enemy Boss Leader and pulled out Doctor Whs from behind a tree and holding knife at his throath.

“Surrend now and let me kill you ADMIRAL Awesome. Or I’m going to kill the astronaut.” Screamed Enemy Boss Leader.

“Please I don’t want to go.” Said Doctor Doctor.

Everybody was frozen, not because of cold but because of shock.

“You are still alive astronaut? I’m frozen. Not because of cold but because of shock.” Said Twillight Sparklier.

“Once in a blue moon.” Said Pinkie Pie.

“So what’s your answer?” asked Enemy Boss Leader.

“I don’t surrender. BECAUSE HE’S ALREADY DEATH!” screamed ADMIRAL Awesome, grabed a throwing knife and throw it at the astronaut.
“I don… urgghhllll…. Wurghlllggg… gargllll…. gurggllll.” Said Doctor Sevoohw because he was hit in the throat and there was blood and all.

So he died and the fight went on and everybody cheered because ADMIRAL Awesome is best hostage negotiator ever.


“How is the battle going?” asked Queen Celesia.

“It’s not looking very good. Ve may lose.” Said King Gilda of the Griphons.

“Don’t worry even with the ADMIRAL they can’t hope to win.” Said Queen Celesia.

“I hope zat you are correct.” said King Gilda.

Then Celesia impaled him from behind with her horn right throught the heart.

“Vhy?” asked King Gilda.



“There are so many. I’m getting tried” Cried Rarity

“Don’t give up. There’s still hope.” Said Trixie.

They had killed already one million guards but there were still more so they needed a plan.
“We need a plan.” Said Twillight Sparklier.

“Then let’s ask ADMIRAL Awesome. He’s the greatest planer.” Said Applejack.

“And I have a great plan! I and the others keep on fighting and you sneak into the Castle a kill your mother.” Said ADIRMAL Awesome while behading one guard and beating another guard with the head.

“What a great plan.” Said Twillight Sparklier.

And so she sneaked passé the guards and entered the palace ready for the final showdown.

But Enemy Leader Boss noticed her and was about to rush after here but then ADMIRAL Awesome jumped in the way.

“So old friends this is it? The final battle.” Said Enemy Leader Boss.

“Indeed. And this time I’ll kill you and your whole family and your friends because you annoyed me that much.” Said ADMIRAL Awesome

“But you already killed them many years ago because they stand between you and your goal.” sad Enemy Leader Boss.

“Really?” asked ADMIRAL Awesome.

“Yes. That’s why I joined the Enemies and became Enemy Boss Leader in the first place. I wanted to…” said Enemy Leader Boss.

“I said I can’t remember and your story bores me. So can we please fight. Because Boss talks in MGS are bad.” Said ADMIRAL Awesome.

“For my family.” Said Enemy Boss Leader and cried like Fluttershy while attacking him with his poisoned acid mace.

And then they fought intensely and heart-warming. And stuff happened like Enemy Boss Leader trying to hit ADMIRAL Awesome but he doged and tried to hit Enemy Boss Leader and he jumped away and countred but Awesome blocked and tried to throw sand in his eye. And that for half-an-hour.

Just watch a good sword fight in a movie, it’s basically this only with ponies fighting each other in the background.

Anyway it was a tie and non of them could defeat the other.

“I need a clever plan” said ADMIRAL Yonasomun Awesome Armageddon.

And he thought about it and then he had a good idea.

After Enemy Boss Leader hit another strike at Awesome he left a hole in his cover so that Enemy Boss Leader could hit him at the arm.

“Oh no. I’m dying and can’t fight back any more. I’ll now drop my weapon and knee before me so that you can kill me.” said Awesome.

“Wait. You tried this trick already. I’m not stupid and failing for it again.” said Enemy Boss Leader.

“But this time I’m serious.” Said Admiral Awesome.

“Oh ok. In that case I kill you.” Said Enemy Boss Leader and lifted his poisoned mace.

And then ADMIRAL Awesome used his Sajajn Katamaranu and impaled Enemy Boss Leader.

“Oh no you lied.” Said Enemy Boss Leader.

“Yes I lied.” Said ADMIRAL Awesome and then he kicked him right so high in the air that he crushed into Celesia’s balcony.

“Now it’s final over. Now Amarica is save again and President P. Resident will give me lots of money and woman.” Said ADMIRAL Awesome.


Heavily crushed and impaled Enemy Boss Leader crawled through the palace leaving blood and mud behind him.

Then he stood before Celesias thrown where she was eating King Gilda’s heart.

“What’s wrong Enemy Boss Leader?” asked Queen Celesia.

He cought and spited some blood one the floor while not dying.

“Queen… Celesia… I’ve… bad news…”

And then Enemy Leader Boss was death. Like Elvis.


Twllight Sparklier was running through the Ponyland Castle Castle, blasting away some guards until she stand before the final door.

“It’s the final door.” Said Twillight Sparklier.

And then the door opend and all kinds of villians appeared: Nightmare Moon and Discord and Trek and the Smooze and Chrysalis and Grogar and that villain from Princess Promenade and Cupcakes Pinkie Pie and all the people who down-rated this story and the witches and even Pound Cake.

“Twillight Hadoken!” screamed Twillight Sparklier and killed all of them with a super powerful blast.

“You are strong my daughter.” Said Celesia stepping out of the shadow.

“And you are evil.” Said Twillight Sparklier.

“Yes I’m BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” screamed Celesia.

“But why?” asked Twillight Sparklier.

“Because I’m evil. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” screamed Celesia.

“But this doesn’t makes any sense.” Said Twillight Sparklier.

“Yes. Because I’m evil. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” screamed Celesia.

Then they both stared at each other for a while ready for a bloody fight.

And then they started fighting.

“No please don’t fight sister.” Cried Lulamoon still chained to the wall.

Queen Celesia ignored her and shoot Lightings out of her eyes who hit Twillight.

“Arghhh. You shoot Lighting out of your eyes that hit me. Argghh!” screamed Twillight Sparklier.
“Indeed. And now you DIE! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!” said Celesia and watch in anticipathion how Twillight would die.

But as the smoke left she was surprise because Twillight was still standing normal.

“How is that possible? My Lighting killed everybody before. Nobody can withstand it.” said Celesia.

“That’s because I’m the chosen Mare.” Said Twillight Sparklier and attacked her with a jump kick.


There were bloody corpses of guards and background Alicorns everywhere. But the New Awesome Lulamoon Empire had finally won. There was just one single guard left covering in a corner.

But ADMIRAL Awesome had already noticed him and moved heroically toward the shaking guard.

“Looks like I’m about to beat a dead horse.” Said ADMIRAL Awesome which was a very clever pun.

“Please, don’t… I…. I surrender.” Said the Guard.

“Sorry, I already made the pun. Now I have to kill you.” Said ADMIRAL Awesome.

“No… mercy… please…” cried the guard.

“Umm… do you really need to kill him?” asked Fluttershy not understanding anything about the importance of good puns.

“Yes I’ve to kill him annoying, animal-loving punchbag.” Sad ADMIRAL Awesome.

“But I’m sure he’s no threat. Why don’t we just imprison him? That’s if you don’t mind.” asked FLuttershy.

“Because sometimes they let people out of prisons after a few years. It’s better to kill him so that he can do no more harm. And it’s funnier.” said ADMIRAL Awesome with flawless logic.

“No I didn’t even want to fight. The Queen told me I had to our she would kill my family and eat their hearts.” Said the guard who loved his live to much and was annoying. But not as annoying as Fluttershy.

“That’s cleary a lie. And if it’s no lie I don’t care.” Said ADMIRAL Awesome and moved closer, too.

“I think we should really give him a chance. He seems like a nice guy.” Said Fluttershy.

ADMIRAL Awesome was really annoyed by Fluttershy right now. But he was a clam person so he didn’t rip of her head and throw it into a volcano.

“Yes… I’ll never put up a sword again. I retire and live a quiet live somewhere else. You’ll never see me again. I’ll be a civilian” Said the guard.

And now ADMIRAL Awesome was really angry because he couldn’t kill civilians because they are good guys unlike guards. So not that the guard was a civilian he was good and he couldn’t kill him anymore and that’s why he wasted a perfect pun.

So the guard run away and everbody celibrated the victory.

“And non-background Alicorn loses?” asked ADMIRAL Awesome.

“Well the with one lost the rest of her legs.” Said Berry Punch.

“That’s bad. Now she can never wear socks.” Cried Rarity.
“It’s not that bad. Because she’s actually a demon-robot and her legs will grow back.” Said Scotaalo.

“That’s true.” Said the with one.

“Great. Then let’s move into the place and help Twillight killing her mother.” Said ADMIRAL Awesome.

“Look, I just found a hidden elevator that leads right to her throne room.” Said Pinkie Pie.

Everybody stared at her.

“That’s a strange concidens, isn’t it?” asked Applejack.

“Duh! We’re in a poorly written story full of grammatical errors with a bland Mary Sue of the author as main character. Twilight is married to Trixie who is a colt, Princess Celestia is a super-evil meanie who kills people because they bring her bad news and Rainbow Dash was shipped with the Slenderman. Of course, this is a strange coincidence! But at least it means that this story will be over very soon. Or do you want to read any more pages about Meanie Sue betting up guards?” said Pinkie Pie.

There was a moment of silence.

Then everyone entered the elevator.

The last one who tried to enter was Fluttershy but since she ruined a good pun ADMIRAL Awesome kicked her in the guts so hard that she flew through the sky into a tower which collapse onto her and broke her wings.

“You are stupid and worthless.” said ADMIRAL Awesome.


“I can’t believe… that you have beaten… me…” said Queen Celesia while and Twillight Sparklier was standing above her.

“No your evil stuff is over and all of Ponyland will be free.” Said Twillight Sparklier

“Then waste no time. Kill me? What are you waiting for?” asked Queen Celesia.

And Twillight tried to kill her, her horn glowed and all that but then she stopped.

“I… I… can’t. Your are still my mother.” said Twillight Sparklier.

“No she isn’t your mother. She killed your real parents.” Said her brother’s ghost.

“Oh… okay then…” said Twillight and killed her with a horn blaste.

“Thanks for killing her. No I’m free. Bye.” Sad her ghost brother and disappeared forever or until to the sequel.

Then Twillight freed Lulamoon from the wall and in that moment the express elevator appeared with ADMIRAL Awesome and everybody else important and alive.

“You did it. You saved Ponyland. I’m so happy I could do hot lesbian sex.” Said Rainbow Dash.

“This is sooooo beautiful.” Cried Rarity and ran torward Lulamoon hugging her and crying. Lulamoon hugged Rarity, too and cried, too. And so they both hugged and cried a lot. That’s why Rarity is best pony!

“I’m a demon-robot and my legs are back.” Said the with one.
“Thank you all. But I couldn’t have done it without ADMIRAL Awesome Yonasomun Armaggedon. Leader of the US-Army Saijin Brigade. Admiral, Saijin, Vampire who can walk in the daylight, Jedi knight and… THE BEST OC EVER.”

Everybody cheered.

“I’m so happy. I’m going to retire and make you the new leader of Equestria.” Said Lulamoon and cried.

“That’s very nice from you. But I’m not a leader, I’m an ADMIRAL and my place is on the battlefield killing lots of people. So I have to left you now.” Said ADMIRAL Awesome and then a portal back to earth opened in front of them.

“That’s aid because you would be a great leader. Even better than Lulamoon.” said Applejack.

Then ADMIRAL Awesome was ready to jump throught the gate but suddenly worst pony appeared.

“WAAIIIITTTT!” squeak worst pony and the ADMIRAL stopped.

“What is it worst pony?” asked the ADMIRAL.

“Ummm… I know we had our differences and that you’ve beaten me up a few times and broken my wings, but that’s ok. I realized that I’m indeed the worst pony and I’m very very soon about it. So please, that this gift and don’t be made at me. I really want to be your friend.” Said Fluttershy and handed him over a flower.

“Well…” said ADMIRAL Awesome, took the flower and waited until Fluttershy looked hopefully before he punched her.

“YOU ARE STILL WORST PONY AND I HOPE PINKIE KILLS YOU AND MAKES YOU CUPCAKES!” said ADMIRAL Awesome and jumped into the portal while everypony waved him a goodbye. Except Fluttershy who was bleeding on the floor.


After he jumped through the portal he suddenly was back in the Amarican camp and President P. Resident was in front of him.

“Oh I’m glad you’re back ADMIRAL Awesome. We were worried that Enemy Boss Leader had killed you.” Said President P. Resident.

“Don’t worry he didn’t kill me. I was transported to a land full of magical ponies and helped them to kill their evil Queen.” Said ADMIRAL Awesome.

“That makes sense.” Said President P. Resident.

“So where’s my money and my medal for saving Amarican and the world?” asked ADMIRAL Awesome

“Sadly there is no more Amarican and no more world. The bomb you tried to stop exploded and non many peole are dead and the world looks like Mad Max.” said President P. Resident.

ADMIRAL Awesome was shocked and sank on his knee. This couldn’t be. This was horrible. He didn’t want to believe it, but it was true. No matter how much he wished otherwise.

The president of Amarica didn’t want to give him money and medals!

Of course, there was only one explanation for this behavior!

“You are controlled by evil Martian deepsea fishes. I’ve to kill you to save you and get my money.” Said ADMIRAL Awesome and tried to kill the President.

But the black dude jumped between him and the President and ADMIRAL Awesome would’ve punched him to death but his fists hit the dude and nothing happened.
The ADMIRAL was horrified but tried to hit the dude again and nothing happened. It was like his hands were rubber.

Then a lot of the dudes in the black suites jumped and him and overwhelmed him.

“You tried to kill the President of Amarcia. No you’re no longer an ADMIRAL or a Saijin or a Vampire or a Jedi Knigt. And we also throw you into prison.” Said President P. Resident.

“Noooooooooo!” screamed NOT-Admiral Awesome Yonasomun Armageddon as he was dragged away.


Meanwhile in Ponyvile, Ponyland Fluttershy was feeding her animals. The broken wings still hurt a bit but it got better every day.

She looked at some flowers in her garden and smiled. Especially at some blue flowers she found in the Evarfre Forest not so long ago.

Fluttershy is worst pony!


THE END!!!!111111111!!!!!!!!!!

Comments ( 34 )

NOOOOOO! ADMIRAL Awesome was imprisoned by President P. Resident while he was controlled by evil Martian deepsea fishes instead of getting his reward! :raritydespair:

So that’s it, the story is over. I took me longer than I expected but I’m still happy. It’s my first story since at least three years and even if it was just rather silly “troll” Fic it was fun to write something again. There are already some ideas for a sequel in my mind, but my next Fic is going to be something more serious.

Thank you for your constructive Feedback - positive and negative – as well as for your patience. I know that some of you followed the story right from the beginning and that there were some large gaps between the later chapters. So I hope at least a few of you enjoyed the Fic. :twilightsmile:

Good, but not even close to My Immortal. (Harry Potter ff, for those who are interested.)
Also, this story inspired me. In my story, a character's grammar in dialogue (and the entire chapter if they are narrating) will depend on their intelligence, because of this story. (The Engrish was intentional)

It's probably not even close to Spiderses nonetheless it was a great guilty pleasure for me. :pinkiehappy:

I've just finished working on a TVTropes page for this story. Enjoy! :D

Woah, you’re just amazing. I don’t know what else I can say. :pinkiehappy:

I've always had some ideas for a sequel but now I'm really tempted to actually write it.

981796 Any updates on the sequel?

In other news, I feel like an idiot now that I realize that I misspelled Twillight's name throughout the TVTropes page. :facehoof:

Don't worry you aren't the only one who missed it.

As for the sequel: Don't expect to see anything anytime soon. I'm focusing on my TCB story right now.

Forgive me my scepticism, but I don't think that anybody could turn this into a good story. Not without changing half of the plot and characters involved.

The other referenced Fics are:
evil demon-monster-alien-thingy: Princess Gaia from the Pony POV series.. I admit that it's not a very good references.Should have called her demon-butterfly-zombie-princess-thingy.
drugged Dash so that she could have sex with her: A nod to the romance between Fluttershy and RD in the Pony Psychology Series. Some readers assumed that Fluttershy had intentionally drugged RD in hope that she would fall in love with her.
dragged Dash and Pinkie into a deadly nightmares that almost killed all of them: Silent Ponyville 2.

Go Fluttershy! :yay: Yes! You win!:pinkiehappy:
1248254 Challenge considered. It would have to go through quite a bit of work, and some of the characters would have to be developed... and every word would have to be rewritten to get rid of spelling errors... but most of the ideas could work, and there could even be Mythology Gags! Oh, right, I also noticed in this chapter, were those references to the two main abridged series? Sweetie Belle the demon-robot with two missing legs?

You're right. It was a nod to both series.

34 votes, and still a perfect 50/50 ratio of likes and dislikes. Can't say I've ever seen that before.

:facehoof:I just read this and it caused my brain to implode..... Twice. I also taste blood in my mouth. This was great:pinkiehappy: now i need a doctor or something

No!!! ADMIRAL Awesome, well that sucks, stupid martian controlled president. This story made me lol reading the entire thing, you have made my day.

It turns put that pinkie pie was the real author insertion the entire time!

I found one grammatical mistake in your story. I think. :unsuresweetie:

I can tell this'll be funny because I barely got throught the long desc without laughing :twilightsmile:

Oh my god, this was such a riot. I could barely get through a page without laughing my ass off. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:


Whoa, Pinkie Pie didn't just break the fourth wall, she literally blew it up.
This is a scene to remember.

Rarely does one come across a work such as this; a work of pure literary brilliance, a work that leaves white-hot lines etched upon the soul and raises the bar of what can be considered beautiful in comparison. Shakespeare has nothing on you, sir/madam.

Also you're a faggot.

This is so insanely awesome

4267094 Well duh, this thing is supposed to be inconsistent! Like Dash being afraid the gay snake would turn her gay when apparently she is a lesbian anyway!

4514697 do you go to the canterlot castle very often? Oh what am I saying of course you don't. I'll have you there no PUSSIEEEEEEEEEEE

Comment posted by Cool_Guy deleted Jun 23rd, 2014

Fugging increibul


I know you don't hate Flutters but seriously: where did you come up with that?

"We’re in a poorly written story full of grammatical errors with a bland Mary Sue of the author as main character. Twilight is married to Trixie who is a colt, Princess Celestia is a super-evil meanie who kills people because they bring her bad news and Rainbow Dash was shipped with the Slenderman. Of course, this is a strange coincidence! But at least it means that this story will be over very soon. Or do you want to read any more pages about Meanie Sue betting up guards"

Has anyone seen the 4th wall anywhere?

Oh my god that ending.

I deem Fluttershy best pony for she killed off the WORST BEST OC EVER....but using poison hope was a bitch move, so I felt her to the rank of mediocre pony (in between Diamond Spoon and Silver Tiara)

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::pinkiecrazy::moustache::moustache: out of:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

“Duh! We’re in a poorly written story full of grammatical errors with a bland Mary Sue of the author as main character. Twilight is married to Trixie who is a colt, Princess Celestia is a super-evil meanie who kills people because they bring her bad news and Rainbow Dash was shipped with the Slenderman. Of course, this is a strange coincidence! But at least it means that this story will be over very soon. Or do you want to read any more pages about Meanie Sue betting up guards?” said Pinkie Pie.

:rainbowlaugh: Where did the 4th Wall go?!


:facehoof: Oh. Right. This is Pinkamena Diane Pie we're dealing with. The bizarre pony whose job is to lean on and break the fourth wall.

I am stupid.

I don't think I can fully comprehend how it's possible, but you made good, bad writing. Fluttershy was worst pony, and she got treated like shit. But in the end, she got her revenge. Plus, Boss Captain's line when he dies was amazing. This was, by far, my favorite train-wreck of a book ever. 9.5 / 10 for a few grammar issues.

This story the baddest!!22!!2 the is no scene lulamoon say their father of twilight sparkiler.. Liken't

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