Follow Me

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A certain city has its share of weirdness, but that's nothing compared to what happens when a young man sees a green-haired girl and decides to act.

Chapters (2)

Comments ( 12 )

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Comment posted by catluvr2 deleted Mar 4th, 2013

artofwar77

artofwar77 #2 · Mar 5th, 2013 · · · A New Beginning ·

I'm liking this so far. The narration feels a bit rushed and jerky (just a little), but that made it very effective at capturing my attention.
It leaves me wondering what happens next. Nice hook.

Perhaps format your paragraphs a bit? Maybe fit a blank line between each one? It would improve readability.

Looking forward to reading more.

strijer987

strijer987 #3 · Mar 12th, 2013 · · · A New Beginning ·

why is lyra doing this?

catluvr2

catluvr2 #4 · Mar 13th, 2013 · · · A New Beginning ·

2254844
Because she's trying to find the pony who created the portal between worlds, and as she has no idea what he looks like, she's bringing random people through and hoping that they're the right one.

strijer987

strijer987 #5 · Mar 17th, 2013 · · · A New Beginning ·

2259594 so why doesn't she put them back if they aren't the person she is looking for?

catluvr2

catluvr2 #6 · Mar 18th, 2013 · · · A New Beginning ·

2281088
Because the portal never goes to the same place twice.

strijer987

strijer987 #7 · Mar 18th, 2013 · · · A New Beginning ·

2281313 so let get this straight, lyra brings the humans to ponyville and they cannot get back and they have to live there lives there unless they find the person who made the portal and then lyra puts the humans back where they belong....something like that yes?