• Published 25th Jan 2013
  • 4,959 Views, 322 Comments

Bad Company - Symphony



After a wild night out on the town, Jay decides to go back to Pony-land for a quick visit. Things don't go quite as planned though as he finds himself trapped in a dimension full of colorful ponies and friendship.

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Ch. 8 - On the subject of housing...


I cracked my eyes open, cursing at the sunlight that was currently trying to blind me. I groaned and rolled over to my stomach and pressed my face to the pillow. A pounding headache made itself known, forcing another groan from me. A knock on the door interrupted my feeble attempt to fall asleep.


“I'm coming, hang on...” I called out and rolled out of bed. Seems like I only took off my shirt when I went to bed yesterday. Reaching for the doorknob with my right hand, I ran my left hand through my hair. Spike was on the other side. “Oh, hey Spike. What's up?”


“Nothing much, just thought I'd let you know that the train for Ponyville leaves in about an hour.” Spike said. He paused for a moment and glanced into the room. “Jay... What's that smell?” He wrinkled his nose in disgust.


I rubbed my neck. “Uh, I got kind of drunk yesterday... That would explain the smell. Also I kinda stink so I'll take a shower before we get on the train.” Spike nodded and turned around to leave.


“I'll have somepony get up here with some breakfast to you.” With that, he walked off. I closed the door and turned to the bathroom.


I locked the door, slipped off my clothes and got in the shower. It was a bit of a tight fit since the shower was made for ponies that obviously weren't my size. About 20 minutes later and a lot of struggling, I stumbled out of the shower. I opened a cupboard where some towels laid. It was then though that I realized that even the towels were pony sized. Grumbling, I grabbed 2 towels and made my way out to the room with one towel around my waist and the other scrubbing my hair dry.


The towel on my head covered my view, but when I was out in the room. I heard a gasp and dropped the towel from my head. A unicorn mare stood there, staring at me while levitating a plate of food.


“Uh...” I motioned toward the food. “Did Spike send you with this to me?” She nodded, still not saying anything. “Alright then, just put it on that desk over there and get out. Thanks. She levitated the plate to where I had motioned and left the room in a bit of a hurry. Grabbing my clothes, I scowled as the door almost slammed shut behind her.


“Fucking ponies, man...”


Spike and I were standing at the train station, tickets ready and waiting for the train to pull up. I adjusted the sunglasses I was wearing. They were pretty cheap so I decided to buy them. Despite the rather obvious anatomical differences between a human and a pony, these glasses fit pretty good on my head. The suitcases with my money was lying in front of me. The distant chugging of a train coming closer got my attention and I turned my head to where the sound had come from. The 'Friendship Express' stopped and I picked up the cases and prepared to board the train. Spike did the same.


I'll never understand why they picked such a fruity name for a train.


We got basically the same seats as the ones on our way to Canterlot. We didn't have to wait too long until the conductor passed our seats and stamped the tickets. I made myself comfortable as the train chugged off and before I knew it, I fell asleep.


I woke up to someone tugging the sleeve to my shirt. “Come on Jay, we're in Ponyville!”


Aw shit, already? “Alright, I'm coming. Chill.” I rubbed my eyes and picked up the suitcases. As we walked off the train, we saw Twilight standing there, tapping a hoof to the station floor and looking pissed as all hell.


Before I could say anything, she was right in my face. “Jay! What the buck did you do?! You and Spike disappeared, and suddenly I get a letter from Princess Celestia that you basically assaulted her and destroyed some things! And on top of that, I notice that I'm missing three thousand bits from my savings!”


At this point, she was screaming right in my face. A quick glance around told me that several ponies were staring at the situation unfolding. However, be it bravery or just being stupid, I grinned.


“Well purple, I didn't assault Princess Celestia. I tried out a theory. And the only things I destroyed was an ornate window and a chair. Hardly a scratch to their economy.” I was still grinning and before she could reply, I opened one of my suitcases and handed her a slightly bigger coin than the rest.


“Here, take this for your savings. I have more than enough to live comfortably.”


“J-Jay, this is ten thousand bits! I can't take this!” She stuttered out and I raised an eyebrow.


“Too bad, 'cause you're getting it anyway.” I snapped the case shut. “Now come on, we're going house shopping!” I exclaimed. Spike followed me, Twilight took a moment though but eventually followed as well.


“Oh, why are you looking for a house?” Twilight asked.


“Wouldn't want to outstay my welcome and cause you to get heart failure when young because of all the shit I pull.” I answered after considering her question for a while, looking around for any kind of 'For sale' sign on any house. With my usual luck though, there were no houses for sale inside the town.


After a while, we reached a neighborhood that seemed to be a bit swankier. Bigger houses, bigger yards and fences and even the air almost felt different. Finally, after searching for almost an hour we finally found a house for sale. It was at the end of the road and a bit bigger than the houses I saw earlier.


It was two floors, but the length of the house paid up for that. The right wing and left wing were shaped to follow the driveway leading to the house. Seperating the driveway from the main house was a decently sized fountain. I whistled.


“Oh man, this house fucking screams millionaire mansion...” I approached the sale sign and read some things about the house. “Five bathrooms, eight bedrooms, a massive lounging area... A fucking pool, holy shit... One big kitchen and more...” I scratched my chin. “Holy shit, all of that for three hundred thousand bits...”


“What?!” Twilight exclaimed. “Jay, are you insane?! A house for three hundred thousand!”


“Oh come on, Twilight. A house like this would cost millions on my world. Now, where can I find the real estate agent for this place...”


“Right here, sir!” A stallion called out. I jumped slightly and turned to him. He was tall and lanky. No real muscle. Even skinnier than that Cake guy or whatever his name was. His coat was a light brown and his mane was black. He was wearing a black suit jacket, white shirt and a black tie.


“Um... Yeah, so I was interested in this house over here” I pointed a thumb toward the house. The stallion hummed and nodded along.


“There's a few ponies coming to see this house tomorrow. I don't know if I can just sell it like that without coming up with a deal to show around the house earlier.” He tapped a hoof to his chin. Tell you what. if-”


“I'll pay in cash right here, right now.” I interrupted him.


“Well, why didn't you tell me that earlier!” He laughed and stood up to his hindlegs, putting a foreleg over my shoulder. “I can imagine you owning this house, taking care of the missus” he gestured to Twilight “and the younger generation!” He motioned toward Spike. Twilight blushed.

“Oi, I'm not together with her, she just joined me to look at houses...” I muttered.


“My apologies...” He chuckled. “Now! The house is already fully furnitured with all you may need so let's head inside and write the contract!”


I followed him to the house. He tapped a code to a lock and the fence moved out the way. He stepped inside the property and I followed, along with Twilight and Spike. When we entered the house, my eyes widened significantly. Marble floors, a high ceiling. To go to the upper floor, there were a set of twin stairs. One on the left side, the other on the right.

The estate agent turned to the right and we followed him to quite a massive kitchen with a wide open area and all of the appliances were the latest model. He by the counter and brought up a few papers, along with an inkwell and a quill.


“Alright then, I've already written down the adress and information about the property. Name?” He looked up to me with a smile.


“Jay.” I said, looking around the kitchen.


“Is that your full name?” He asked. I shook my head. “Well due to legal obligations, I must ask for your full name to include in the contract. I hope this doesn't bother you in anyway?”


“No, it's not a problem. My full name is...” I saw Twilight and Spike strain a bit to hear what I would say. I mumbled out my name.


“I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that.” He said. I sighed.


“My full name is... Eugene James Andersen...” The stallion scribbled down what I had said. He slid over the paper to me, along with the quill.


“Just sign here,” he pointed to a line. “initials here and here.” I skimmed through the contract, it was pretty basic. I did as he said and gave it back to him. I brought up a suitcase and have him thirty of the coins I had given Twilight earlier. He smiled and brought them to him. He reached out with his right hoof. I held out my right hand and shook his hoof.


“If you have any questions or need any help with the house, or the property that comes along with it just let me know. My office is downtown close to the Carousel Boutique, you won't miss it.”


“Thank you for your help.” I said, standing up from the chair and stretching my back. “And I'll be sure to contact you if anything I can't handle arises.”


With that, he left the house... my house.


“Eugene?” I heard Twilight say. I groaned. “Why didn't you say your full name when we first met?”


“Because I'm not particularly fond of that name. Not even my mom call me Eugene and my siblings only call me that when they want to mess with me.” I started walking around the house to get a feel for it. “So I'm Jay, not Eugene. My mom would only use my full name if I was in deep shit for causing something.”


“Like Pinkie's real name is Pinkamena?” Spike piped up. I blinked.


“Uh, yeah. My name's not really that, but I listen to it and is used to it.”


“Makes sense, I guess...” Twilight said. “So, wanna go to the backyard and see what's there?”


“Actually, I was just heading there. Come on.” I opened a door that lead out to a patio that had a walkway to a decently sized pool. Four sunchairs were along the side of the pool. I sat down in one and sighed.


“I have a feeling this is gonna be fuckin' awesome.”

Author's Note:

HI PEOPLE

Were you surprised? I sure as hell was when I suddenly got a feeling to get back to writing. I know that this probably isn't nearly the same quality as the previous chapters, but I'm trying to get back into writing.

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