Bad Company

by Symphony

Ch. 9 - No brain, a lot of pain

Jay furrowed his brow and narrowed his eyes, steeling himself for what to come. A quick glance over his shoulder showed Spike doing the same. A small, challening grin etched itself onto the young dragon's face. Rolling his shoulders, Jay turned to look forward once again. He could almost taste the competitive air surrounding the two.

Twilight, however was not amused. At all. ”You two are going to get hurt and when you do I'm gonna say 'I told you so'”. Her frown somehow became deeper as another thought came to her mind. ”By the way, how was I dragged into this again?”

”Because we needed a judge so none of us cheat!” Jay called out to Twilight with a childish grin, making the unicorn groan. After a pinch of playing around, Jay was back to being all business.

”Alright, Spike! In three!” Jay hollered. He didn't get an answer as Spike prepared himself for what to come.

”One!”

Shoulders braced and leaning forward slightly, Jay was about to prove himself the champion.

”Two!”

Spike was the new kid on the block, and he was gonna show this veteran his moves. Twilight facehoofed and groaned miserably at the situation.

”Three!”

With that, the contestants were off...

...By sliding on a matress down the split staircases on each side. Spike hollered in unbridled joy as he went. Jay, however was a bit more vocal about it.

”Fuuuuuuuuuuuck yeaaaaaaah!” Jay whooped as he went down. Twilight just sat still, contemplating who she had wronged to be forced to endure this unbridled display of idiocy and childishness. To ease her mind though, the two racers both reached the floor at the exact same time.

She also noticed that the matresses were heading on a collision course, also evident by the expressions of Jay and Spike. Their 'vehicles' collided with a soft 'bump' and a crumpled matress each. Jay and Spike however flew off them and sailed towards eachother.

Twilight considered simply catching them and avoid some bruises, she reconsidered when they'd probably get in their heads to go at it again when they had a safety net. Her deadpan expression could have probably gotten a Royal Guards seal of approval.

For the two morons, time seemed to slow down as they readied themselves.

“CLONK”

Twilight sighed. Boys will never learn, will they? After the heavy thump, Spike and Jay sat on the floor, rubbing their heads after the hit. Jay was quicker to get himself together and turned to their reluctant judge.

“So... Who won?” He asked. At this, Spike also turned his head to the unicorn.

“It was a tie. And I told you so. You both got hurt.” Twilight admonished. She had a feeling that not much was going to change as the two exchanged a rather long glance.

“Rematch?” Jay suggested, still rubbing the sore spot on his head.

“Rematch.” Spike answered with a grin. With laughs, they hiked the matresses up the stairs for another go. Jay carried his under his arm when Spike struggled to drag it behind him.

When the task was finished, they settled down, ready for another go. Twilight stared longingly at the still empty liquor cabinet in the other side of the room. A terrible ruckus was made as they raced down the stairs for the second time of the day. Unsurprisingly, with the same outcome.

“CLONK”

“Ow...”

She sighed and just continued staring at the liquor cabinet.

---

Jay and Spike, now with bruises and bumps on their heads had decided on a tie after the fourth attempt with the exact same, painful outcome. Twilight had merely frowned and subtly reminded them that it was stupid even before going at it the first time. The answered she had received had merely been a few careless shrugs from the two, with an added 'no pain, no gain' from Jay.

The two former contestants sat now holding an icepack each to their heads, eating ice cream like nothing had happened earlier. At this point, Twilight was busy lecturing them the dangers of hitting your head repeatedly.

As she finished her tirade with a pointed glare to especially the human who had instigated the whole event, he smiled at her.

“Well Twilight,” he said, holding down his ice cream to speak. “there's nothing wrong with a bit of a competitive streak.”

“Not when that certain streak contains repeated blows to the head.” Twilight calmly pointed out, or as calm as she could. “Honestly Jay, how come you can be this reckless?” She gestured with a hoof toward his and Spike's heads.

“You won't know if something works until you've tried it, right?” Jay answered, still holding that smile that was driving Twilight nuts. “'sides, Spike agreed to this. Right, champ?” Jay asked with a pat on Spike's back.

“Yep! It was really fun too, I don't get why you didn't try it out, Twilight. It's great!” Spike replied happily, ice cream spread all over his face.

“Mostly because I don't like getting hurt.” She said, still grumpy.

Jay glanced at the matress he had pulled forward for them to sit on when enjoying the cold treat. At a desk behind Twilight, he spotted a roll of duct tape. A thought clicked in his head and his gentle smile threatened to break out into a full-out shit eating grin if he wouldn't have restrained himself.

He leaned over to Spike and whispered out his plan to the dragon. Spike's eyes roamed over to the matress they were sitting on, then to the duct tape and finally his eyes settled on Twilight who was focusing on something else.

“Alright, Spike. You grab the tape and I'll hold her down. In three... two...” Jay whispered. As their internal clock went off, they sprung to action.

Twilight had no time to react as she was suddenly pushed down on the matress she was sitting on moments ago. Her surprise doubled as she saw her loyal assistant hand her assailant duct tape. With quick work and a lot of swearing from the lavender unicorn, Twilight was duct taped to a matress while Jay carried her up the stairs, still cursing to high heavens.

Some of the things she said would even have the most hardened of cursing, dirty sailors blush and cover their ears from the verbal onslaught.

Finally at the top of the stairs, Jay hefted her down on the floor. Leaning forward, resting his hands on his thighs, he took a deep breath. “Come... on... Twilight. I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy this. Just trust me.”

Spike joined him at his side, starting to regret the idea they pulled off.

“When I get out of this, I swear I will do what Cadence did to Sombra feel like a soft tickle!” She hollered. Spike gulped and Jay gave her a confused stare. Spike considered himself lucky that throughout this ordeal, Twilight had forgotten about her magic and went with cursing at them. Loudly.

“Whatever, I'm sure we'll figure it out by then. Have a nice trip!” Throwing off a mock salute, Jay gave the matress a gentle kick and down she went, cursing up another storm as she went down on her bumpy way.

Spike and Jay leaned toward the railing from the second level, staring down at the unicorn. She was completely silent, save for some rough breathing. A pang of regret flashed through Jay but that thought died quickly as he heard Twilight... growling?

Small plumes of smoke came from the tape and it melted off her. She stood up slowly and looked up at them. Her eyes were pure white and she gritted her teeth, thoroughly sick of their shit.

“So...” Jay glanced at Spike, trying to keep a wary eye at the very angry unicorn. “Should we run?”

His answer did not come from Spike, as Twilight screamed and her coat became pristine white and her mane turned into fire. She glared up at them with wide, very angry red eyes. She was still breathing heavily.

“Yeah, I think I got my answer right there...” Jay slowly picked up Spike, preparing himself to dart off at a moment's notice.

Twilight let out a nearly animalistic roar.

“CHEESE IT!” Jay screamed and bolted off through the second floor, an angry unicorn right behind him.

Jay did not scream like a little girl. And he certainly did not cry, it was merely from the speed of which he was running.

Author's Note:

I think I'm getting the hang of this again...

Comments

[Shimshambest]

Ayyyyyyyy

[Symphony]

5718447
ayyyyyyyyyyyy

[Shimshambest]

5718452 ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

[D48]

Also, when are we going to see Rainbow in this? I am very curious to see how she came to be afraid of Jay because they really seem like they should get along great.

Also, do you have any plans for Lyra? The minty goofball should be a fun addition to this cast of clowns and you could have some fun with her fandom interest in humans. Maybe she starts hanging out with them and then gets the hots for him or something?

[Symphony]

5718497
I have a set ending for the story, no shipping will occur as Jay would protest very loudly and grab a bat + I'm sick of the human OC goes to Equestria gets all the mares trope.

I've read a fair share of HiE and I know all the tired tropes, so I'm making it all fresh, as was intended for this story + Xenophobia. I just hope I pull it off right.

[D48]

5718541 Oh I know, that's exactly why I suggested it. I think his reaction to a mare wanting to get in his pants would be absolutely hilarious. Also, if it is someone he already knows it could tie in well with the more serious stuff in Xenophobia because he will not want to hurt a friend even though there is no way in hell he could pursue a romantic relationship with her.

[Raven]

Hahaha! I was grinning the whole way...then laughing painfully at the end.

[Reminiscent]

It's good to see these back.

[Jack Kellar]

5718459
5718447
5718452
lmao?
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/633/734/173.jpg

[HIEfan]

Awsome chapter, me like!

[Shimshambest]

5718541 well you're following one trope and thats take years to got one chapter out,gg no ayyyyyyyyyyyyyy

[Symphony]

5721143
thanks for the encouragement friend

[Lucky424]

say 'I told you so'”.

Swap the period and speech mark.

Oh Jay... you idiot...

[unknowncape7377]

moar pls!!!!

[HB_DS2013]

Jay’s like the dad Spike never had.