Law & Order : SAU

by TM1023

One

Law & Order: Special Athenaeum Unit

Ponyville, Golden Oaks Library
03:30 AM

The insistent knocking on my bedroom door woke me from my much desired slumber. A quick peek at the clock told me it was 0330. From my experience I knew that nothing good ever comes from being woken up by someone knocking at my door at 3 in the morning. My name is Twilight Sparkle. I am the head Detective here and sometimes the only Detective. I have been working for the Ponyville SAU for several years now. Before I transferred here I worked in Canterlot. Now that was a place where one could cut their teeth on some real sick stuff.

With a loud groan Twilight rolled out of bed and pulled her mane out of her face in an attempt to put it back into its normal position. After several futile attempts to flatten a few offending strands she gave up. “I’m coming, I’m coming!” Twilight yelled to the closed door as she slowing rose to her hooves. A few miss-steps later she managed to stumble to the door and push it open. She was greeted by a large brown bird suddenly flying into her room.

“WHOOOOO!” the owl hooted as he flew circles around the room’s ceiling.

“Owlowiscious? What’s wrong?” Twilight yelled in surprise.

It was one of the boys working the night shift. No doubt here to tell me why my services were needed at such an early hour.

“WHOOO!” Owlowiscious replied again. He made one final circle around the room before flying out the door. Twilight followed close behind. She quickly trotted down the stairs to the library’s main atrium, letting her second best assistant lead her to the after hours book return drop box. Spike’s pet phoenix Peewee was already there, standing next to something on the floor. Lying next to the drop box was a small rectangular figure covered by a white towel.

The night owl landed next to the towel, extending one wing pointing at the unmoving figure. I nodded my head slightly and clenched my jaw to prepare myself for whatever horrendous thing lay underneath.

Owlowiscious reach with one talon and grabbed an edge of the towel. With one quick jerk he pulled it off, unveiling the horror.

It wasn’t a pretty sight. The rookie guarding the perimeter nearly lost his lunch and dry heaved a few times before turning around. I had seen much in my time on the force so the ghastly sight didn’t faze me at all. It was bad. The spine had been broken in several places. It stunk of alcohol and was soaking wet. This book has seen its last shelf. The pages were stained red by some unknown substance. It was cover side down, open for the world to see the atrocities committed upon it. A few pages were torn and some had its ink smeared nearly unrecognizable. I don’t know if it was intentionally placed this way by the suspect to display his or hers handiwork, but it whoever did this was one sick bastard.

“Oh sweet Celestia! What happened to this poor book?” Twilight yelped in surprise. She carefully walked up to the brown hardcover lying on the floor and gave it a nudge with her right foreleg. It gave off a slight squishing sound and Twilight stepped back. With a small bit of magic she slowly closed the book and bent down to get a closer look at title. “Dusk : Solar Flare.” Twilight brought her hoof to her chin as she tried to remember what this book was about. “Oh I know what this is! This is a trashy romance novel. It’s part of a series of books that everypony seemed to love even though the writing was atrocious and the plot banal,” Twilight said to no one in particular. Owlowiscious rolled his large eyes. He grabbed the towel once again and pressed it against the cover, trying to draw away as much moisture as possible. “Even if the story was lacking, why would someone do this to a poor defenseless book?”

More importantly, WHO would do this to a poor defenseless book? I can see where this day is heading. I need to start gathering evidence! Oh good, the crime lab tech has arrived.

“Twilight, what’s going on? It’s not even four in the morning!” Spike complained as he walked down the stairs. He rubbed his eye with one claw and dragged his blanket with the other.

“Spike, I need to you start restorations on this immediately,” Twilight said to the sleepy dragon. Using her magic she levitated the soggy tome away from Owlowiscous and towards her number one assistant. “Be very careful, it’s soaking wet with something.” Spike gingerly accepted the book with his claws and gave it a sniff.

“Bleagh!” Spike exclaimed and quickly drew his head back. “Why does this smell like bad cider and farts?”

“I don’t know, but I intend to find out.” Spike nodded in agreement and took the book out of the atrium, down to the basement where he could attempt to save it.

It’s probably going to take several days before the Lab can get that poor soul back together. I need to start my investigation immediately. I’ll check back with the Lab later to see if they found anything useful. I should start by interviewing the Officers who found it first.

Twilight walked over to the pair of birds who had now perched themselves on their favorite beam in the atrium. Peewee had recovered from his initial shock at the sight of the ruined novel but was sitting a bit closer to Owlowiscious than usual.

“Did you guys see what happened?” Twilight asked the pair

“Who,” Owlowiscous replied.

“Did you see the pony who did this!”

“Who.”

“Nevermind,” Twilight sighed.

“Chirp?” Peewee added.

This interview is going nowhere. I need to get some better witnesses. I should probably check the background of the victim and see if there’s anything unusual.

Twilight walked to the library’s front desk and pulled a large ledger out from behind. A few quick flips through the pages was all it took before she found what she was looking for.

Here it is. Looks like it was checked out quite a few times these past months. The last pony was a “Lyra Heartstrings” about two weeks ago. OK I got my first lead! Twilight looked at the large clock on the library wall. It was only 4 am. Well it’s a bit too early to start pounding on doors. Maybe after breakfast...