• Member Since 20th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 22nd, 2017

HeartTortoisePigeonDog


“Life is what we make of it. Travel is the traveler. What we see isn't what we see but what we are.”

E
Source

Vinyl has been acting strange. The famous DJ PON-3 going on long walks outside Manehatten--in Nature?! She's a night-life pony; why is she now spending her nights alone under the stars? And what are the strange sounds coming from the forest where she wanders? Octavia is very suspicious of her flatmate's strange new behaviour.

(A short two-part fic.
The First: Octavia's Suspicions
The Second: Vinyl Scratch's Reveal)

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 61 )

(Joke) Alt. Title: Vinyl Scratch Visits Stonehenge

2031295
Yes, but one of the many secrets of the Earth is that Stonehenge is actually a giant amp. I have to thank Nigel Tufnel for that bit of info.

There are a lot of typos and wrong words, and the formatting is bad in a few places. Overall, it has some potential, but it could use a lot of cleanup and some expansion to get there.

(without permition, of course,

permission

"What? They're just stairs, Tavi; and it's only walking. How tiering can that be, eh?"

tiring

What's more, ponies in school seem to have begun to notice changes in her as well: "Vinyl's been more awake than normal in classes lately." "She's been abnormally quiet." "When I've talked to her, she's been very attentive to what I've had to say--no more loud outbursts or any kind of interruption from her." "I've heard her echoing song-like sounds in the bathrooms when she thinks no one is around." "I haven't seen her at our usual table lately durring lunch--know where she's gone off too?" "I've seen her sitting by the window, looking up at the sky." "Can you believe I saw Vinyl reading! Crazy, I know, right?" "Late at night, I've seen her wandering toward the forests and fields outside Manehatten--" "No way! Is that where she's been running off to?" "I thought she must be up to something funny when I hadn't seen her at her usual late night spots around the city." "I hope she hasn't gotten hurt. Weird animal sounds are supposed to be heard there--like monsters!" "Anyone try asking if she's okay?" "She only ignores any such approaches to breach that matter--" "Maybe she's got herself a special somepony?" "I could only imagine what he or she might be like to have such a strong influence on her, if she does."

May want to cut this down to just a couple of those. Up to you.

Also, in the description, you misspelled "suspicion".

(A short two-part fic.
The First: Octavia's Suspitions
The Second: Vinyl Scratch's Reveal)

Good story so far. Can't wait for the next half. Keep it up.:twilightsmile:

2031536 Corrected!:twilightsmile: Thanks, by the way! (My comp has spell check turned off, cuz my litttle brother does coding on it. It makes it harder to find typos.)

2031516 Please, examples:applejackunsure::twilightsmile:

2031612
Syvvak hit one or two, but you also used 'mist' instead of 'midst' as just one example. It's the kind of thing you are best served figuring out either on your own or with the help or a friend / editor.

Also, the series of quotes from other ponies is one of the spots with very bad formatting, and the end is... Eh. Abrupt and uninteresting. It needs work, but there -is- potential here.

2031630Okie dokie, thank you!:twilightsmile:

Yeah, I was unsure for the quotes, for I've seen both it formatted as I have it, and as a new paragraph for each quote.:applejackunsure:

Yeah, the ending is abrupt, but that's best left to being explained by Vinyl Scratch, not Octavia.:raritywink:

i like it, i shall await the next chapter in this with much eagarity

2031308
:pinkiegasp:
why am i only just learning this??!?!?!?!!
*packs bags for england*
later pony-bros

*10 hours later*
lies, all lies:twilightangry2:
how could you get my hopes up like that, gamer?:raritycry:
i thought we were friends:fluttercry:

2032068
Admittedly, I only became friends with you because of your avatar.

2032249>>2032092 *glances at own avatar to the left* My face right now.
Thank you very much, by the way, stiggerzz:twilightsmile:

2033928
ey, no problemo muchacho

O I am loving this! There are a lot of typos and such, but I don't really mind em. The story is great so far and I'm really sad to see that there will only be one more part. I could defenitely get on track with this becoming a 40k words story :heart:

2048399My, high praise for me, indeed. Thank you!:raritystarry::pinkiehappy:I am very glad you love it!!:yay:

Yeah, and, perhaps sorry to say for expectations, the story was planned to be a short one-shot anyway, so the second part may only be just as long as the first,--but, I'm not sure: I've only just started writting it, with only about 300 words so far (and i would be writting more right now, but, alas, my bird is tweeting alot and is rather distracting:facehoof:). But we shall see in the end where Vinyl takes it (I need more things to work off for her lexicon, like I had for Octavia: Herman Melville). I'm not sure, with time to actually write in peace, when I'll have the second part up, but you'll be the first to know when I do:twilightsmile:

Don't worry, I plan more Vinyl and Tavi:pinkiehappy: There will be portions dedicated to Tavi in my story: The Great Filly Violin Prodigy, if only for juxoposition, perhaps, but it'll be there!:twilightsmile: And for Vinyl Scratch...

2048468

Once durring these moments,

I imediately inquired

I initialy dismissed

new strange behaviours

Not sure all are important or even necessary. I felt like giving you a few examples and taking time to reread your story two more times since you were kind enough to reply with quite the long message :twilightsmile:

I can't wait to see what other stories you plan on writing, and if you aim for more octyscratch goodness, then I will read the living shit outta them :D unless they're tragedy-sad stories, cuz those fucking break my heart 3 times before they violate my brain... Or it's cuz I'm a giant pussy :scootangel:

as an australian, this is gonna bug me persistantly unless i say something

didjeridu

proper spelling is "Didgeridoo"


'part from that, the story was good, i enjoyed it.

kinda an abrupt ending, but not so abrupt i don't feel the need to complain about it
just had to mention it:twilightsmile:

2166316 I've seen it spelled both ways, and just decided to go with this one as it seemed more Aboriginal:applejackunsure:

If you really think I should change it, I can

kinda an abrupt ending, but not so abrupt i don't feel the need to complain about it

Don't mean to justify but: Kawabata!:rainbowwild:
bookpeopleblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/kawabata.jpg
:raritywink:

2166316 By the way: you didn't fav before!!!!!:flutterrage:
Just kidding, Love ya mate! And humble gratitudes from a meagre member of thy moltly crew!:pinkiehappy:

2166587

ah, if you've seen it spelled both ways and you prefer this one, by all means

And humble gratitudes from a meagre member of thy moltly crew!

all the best to you
4.bp.blogspot.com/-OST3resAiUI/UBZJBiDsnUI/AAAAAAAAnBo/dANAgF7bUAo/s1600/Bowing+Man.jpg

2167998
oh my go-:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

this should be our traditional greeting:twilightsheepish:

2168030 YES!:rainbowlaugh:

wait:rainbowderp:how do you mean "traditional greeting":rainbowhuh:

2168053
you know how some society's have a special handshake?
and some organisations have like, a chant of something?

well, the motley crew will bow until we hit eachother in the head and fall over backwards:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

2168136
no one ever said the crew had to be normal

i mean....it IS led by me:twilightsheepish:

2168164What fun is there if it's normal?:pinkiecrazy:

I'm just imagining us meeting up in real life somewhere, maybe at a brony-con, or wherever, then we do our greeting---

online, we just post that pic

2168188
lol, i just got this mental image of a 17 year old aussie and a whatever-the-hell-you-are, bowing into eachothers heads right in the middle of a crowd of bronies

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

epic image was epic:rainbowlaugh:


but yes, what fun is there if we are normal?

2168226 21 year old Citizen of the World--or an American living in Southern California, specifically, in San Marcos--I ain't afraid of giving my location away:eeyup:

2168226I don't know how I should respond to the epicness, so here's Mozart laughing his ass off:

2168289

and now i know what-the-hell you are

img.photobucket.com/albums/v23/woody302/murica_zpsba40d50d.png

EDIT: "aint afraid of giving location"

next step is to reveal your identity

2168298
mozart?

why not OG Joker?

mark hamill ftw:twilightsmile:

2168302:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: Yup!

Not really. Judging by your own pic, I have about the same build as you(?) I wish I had a camera to just show you, but, eh... one day.

Nicholas! but you already knew that--remember me saying that Nicolas Cage stole my name and left me with the "h"?:applejackconfused: but i haven't a facebook, so you can no stalk me:rainbowwild:

And where do you live, senor nameless?:duck:

2168374
fear not, i haz facebook but i no use it

i've been meaning to cancel it....fb just doesn't appeal to me for some reason


i can tell you where i live
Bunbury, Australia

my name however is confident- joke, it's max

2168389 Bonjour, Max--hm, you're in the San Marcos of Australia--relationaly, that is. Is it nice there? It looks alot nicer than here. Hey, you even have a nice house:pinkiecrazy:

I actually live in a part of san marcos called san elijo. So you can get a better idea of what I see on a daily basis--nothing like your views, apparently:ajbemused:

2168434
u dun googled mah town:pinkiegasp:
ARE YOU A SPY?:twilightangry2:

eh...it's alright, not what i would call a prime tourist destination.

Hey, you even have a nice house

ho-....how did you find my-:twilightoops:
no..don't question pinkie pie, max.....you'll only give yourself a headache:facehoof:

2168461Nyope, wasn't Pinkie who found you this time:
absoluteanime.com/detective_conan/jimmy.jpg
(actually... I look a surprising amount like Jimmy... 'cept, I have brown eyes... and I'm half Irish, quarter mexican, and some french or something:applejackconfused: and I'm not an anime:derpyderp1:)

I don't think I could have guessed a didgeridoo to be the reason for so much change, but I enjoyed the story. Up until this point, I had never heard a didgeridoo. I knew they existed, I just hadn't heard one. Hearing a didgeridoo adds extra depth to the story and it may make more sense to the readers that questioned the didgeridoo. Great story. :pinkiehappy:

2168461 Far better tourist destination than here.... but, then again, we do have near here: Sea World, the San Diego Zoo, and the Wild Animal Park (now called the "Safari Park":pinkiesick:)....:ajsmug:

2168506

trust me, you haven't heard a didgeridoo, until you've heard a bunch of them being played at once in a performance
it sound.....amazing:pinkiegasp:
have my words as a australian

2168502
link broke:ajbemused:

2168506 I'M SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED!!!:pinkiehappy:Thank you!!:rainbowkiss:

Well, the Didgeridoo helped her grow as an awesome lover of music, and did create change, but there was also something else I was kinda hinting at, that doesn't necessarily have great meaning to this story in particular, and that is what my penname means. Search it up all together on google, separating the words, of course, if you're interested:raritywink:

2168575You've heard them in concert?:pinkiegasp: I've only heard that on the comp, not being in Australia:ajbemused:

Just, google Jimmy Kudo:twilightsheepish:

2168575I wonder if I can upload a vid of me playing my Didgeridoo from my phone?:applejackunsure: Though, I couldn't afford a real one, so I had to settle for a well-enough-quality PVC--but it's still shit to the real thing, I know...:facehoof: Don't know if I can or when, but I'll let y'all know within the week, probably

2168607
buskers in the street, when i was visiting sydney, there were two aborigines playing didgeridoos to promote their CD

i tell ya, recordings have nothing on IRL

Great story. I so called it <_< >_> <_<. It was wonderful. Just that perfect slice of life feel to it. Good job. Hope you do more with this (SHIP). Take my star and eye.

2170234:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss: Thank you very much for, not just the like and fav and comment, but the follow!:pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy:
Shipping is definitely something I've been keeping in mind. I'm thinking of having a little bit of Octascratch--Taviscratch?--suggested, perhaps, in my other story, The Great Filly Violin Prodigy at some point.... but I'm also thinking of writing a story focused on them shipped chiefly. For now though, I wanna work on (when I can between school and reading Tolstoy), and soon begin submitting on here, my Apple Pie ship--so many cute and fun ideas have I! So, if you like Apple Pie:trixieshiftright::raritywink:

(well, darn! I can't find the one without the weird color background, so this'll have to do)
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/237/7/c/mlp_applepie__by_mlpextreme-d5cddbl.jpg

Love It!!! Didjeridus for the YES!!! She also likes accordians!:pinkiehappy:

Login or register to comment