What would happen if a wave of magical energy direct from Equestria itself were to impact our planet?
The prologue and chapter one were originally supposed to be one chapter, but I decided it would make more sense to have them separate. All future chapters will be at least a thousand words long.
Enjoy!
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Don't know if want...
Ok, what happens to the pink building?
2005147
What pink building?
2005172 The Arlington...in Charlotte.
2005208 Oh, sorry
While I live in Cabarrus county I'm not too familiar with the buildings and such around uptown so the Arlington probably won't be mentioned, although now that you mention it I might have a use for it in future chapters.
2005238 That's ok. I just visited the area once. Nice place, and everything you want to do is only 15 minutes away.
I used to live in Rock Hill, just south of the NC/SC border. It'll be interesting to hear the Queen city as the epicenter for the end of the world.
2009363
My writing tends to have that effect on people
Great story so far. Can't wait to read chapter 2.
you were never peaking in first person, you shouldn't start now.
"they never knew how wrong they were" would sound a bit better to me at least
2015950
Thank you for pointing that out.
I proofread this stuff myself so an error like that will slip by every now and again.
dark maybe but not sad.
<3ing this so far, keep up the amazing work. And it is so too sad >.>
i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk37/darksithlord_2008/funny12/mother-of-god.gif
That does not sound pleasant.
Great job on this chapter. What you have written here is what would happen in real life. Maybe not the jet plane taking so long to crash, but it could have been on auto pilot when everyone went pony and when the pilots tried to take it off they did not have the body straight to keep it up in the air.
Just my guest on what happen.
2059512
Congratulations and thank you! It's always great to see another Stephen King fan around.
If you're interested in the offer just PM me with information on your OC.
And here is the second part of your prize:
fc09.deviantart.net/fs31/f/2008/195/9/d/Medal_of_AWESOME_by_Sabre_Night.png
Just picture ten thousand of those or something...
Hmm, so does this mean that this novel is going to have a Stephen King style to it? Because if so, this suddenly makes a lot more sense.
2060825
To a degree yes. It won't exactly be a horror story but I'm looking to capture the post apocalyptic adventure theme that Cell had.
Is this going to be fully Earth-side or is there going to be any contact with the "producers" of this "little" incident?
2069036
It's a slight possibility, but it would probably be saved for the epilogue if I decide to make one.
Arson, destruction of property and possibly murder/manslaughter (if anyone was still inside or nearby enough to get hit by debris). And why? Because a petty dislike of the place.
Yeah, hopefully once law and order returns this guy gets arrested and thrown in prison. What a psychopath.
2097576
Just wait! In the next chapter he blows up an orphanage because, well, why wouldn't you blow up an orphanage?
2097576
*shrugs* I'd have done the same thing if it'd been a Starbucks, and honestly would YOU go/stay in a McDonalds after everything that had happened?
2114066
No, but I wouldn't destroy someone else's property simply because a franchise and/or specific location annoyed me. Someone owned that building, and probably paid a lot of money for it and now it is all gone. People had jobs in that building, and now they will have no place to work. Customers regularly ate at that place, and many of them probably actually enjoyed the place and its food. All of that is now gone, and why? Because some asshole destroyed it on the basis of his petty dislike of the place and didn't even think of the consequences to his actions.
Also, there is the whole possible murder/manslaughter thing. There were likely people in there WHEN everything happened, and there was no guarantee that they had all left by the time he destroyed it (they may have remained in there out of fear and confusion, others might have taken shelter in there, some people eating or working there might have passed out and so remained in there, and so on).
If it was only the threat of punishment (which is currently absent due to all the chaos) was the only thing preventing the guy from destroying an entire building and anything or anyone that might be inside... that is the very definition of a psychopath. The guy should be institutionalized, and hopefully he will be once the dust settles (or at least arrested).
2114206
With my supreme power over the story I decree that no one was inside the building. Argument settled.
As for the destruction of property, the world has gone pony, it's probably not going back. I suppose sentimental value is a factor but would anyone really have sentimental value for a McDonald's?
2114321
The people who ate their, worked their, owned the place, etc. very well could have sentimental value for it. And besides, much more than mere sentimental value was destroyed: there is still the massive property damage. That wasn't just "a McDonalds", someone owned it. That is a significant loss of investment.
How would you feel if some random asshole, realizing the police are too busy to catch him, decided to blow up your home or your car? Say he didn't like the color or style of it or some other petty reason... would that be just as acceptable and "amusing"?
The argument that "it is just a McDonalds" is remarkably childish and somewhat alarming. Yes, I understand that McDonalds is the butt of a lot of jokes but that hardly justifies your character's actions.
He is no better than the rioters and looters that plague major cities after major disasters, indiscriminately destroying other peoples' property for their own sick amusement. Scratch that: he IS one of those people.
2114494
I'm just going to be done with this argument. The event wasn't supposed to be a main part of the plot line, just something to add at least a hint of comedic element because as you said McDonald's is the butt of several jokes. I think you took this more seriously than it was meant to be taken but oh well, not much I can do about it. Have a nice day (or night, depending on your time zone).
2114700
I apologize for focusing so much on this, but it is something that really stood out to me.
I understood the intent, it is just that... Well, it is something that is supposed to be comedic but really, really isn't given the context of the story. If this was in a pure comedy fic, sure, fantastic. But as something meant to add a bit of levity to a horrible situation, it... kind of doesn't, once you actually think about what he is doing. It is jarring and somewhat disturbing, particularly BECAUSE it is meant to be seen as humorous.
I am aware that I took this more seriously than I was meant to, but:
1. Taking things more seriously than they are supposed to be is kind of what I do.
2. As I said before, knowing that it wasn't supposed to be taken seriously kind of makes it worse.
2114798
Yeah, I suppose you're right about it being disturbing to a degree to some people, but what fun is there in not being disturbing?
Jokes aside I'll probably edit this chapter a bit in the future so that the scene has a bit more context to it to show that my main character isn't a total psychopath.
2114868
Thanks. I know it might seem silly, but the little things matter (at least to me, and probably others as well).
Also, I really appreciate it that you are taking my criticism seriously, regardless of what you ultimately decide to do with it. You understood that I was trying to be helpful, that criticism is to be used to find out how to improve one's writing and isn't simply intended to be a personal attack on you and your writing.
You aren't the first person who has responded to my criticism in such a way recently so I don't know why that surprises me, but it does. I think it is because I some of the responses I have gotten in the past have been... quite different. It has made me a bit nervous every time I seriously criticize something in a story I am reading, so it is always a relief when it all turns out like this.
So... thanks. Thanks for listening. It means a lot to me.
2114952
It's no problem at all mate. I try to take everyone's ideas and suggestions into account when it comes to comments.
> "This is Pluto as of five hours ago..."
How in the world did they get photos of Pluto? It's barely a speck in our telescopes! We've never even sent a probe to Pluto, and it would take years to get there if we did. The idea that we've somehow got multiple telescopes and satellites monitoring Pluto with close-up photos in realtime is just... Well, it's like something out of Marvel Comics. Or maybe Star Trek in the 23rd Century.
that is quite frightning
this is good so far