Nopony knows the changes that time will bring, and neither Twilight nor Sweetie Belle could have guessed that their trials would have brought them so tightly together. Now, as Twilight draws closer to the end, Princess Celestia pays her a final, private visit, but the ramifications are huge and could change the course of Sweetie Belle's life without her ever knowing.
"While the story of Twilight's final hours is touching, the real power of this story is in its portrayal and exploration of Celestia. If a gripping new take on Equestria's princesses in an easily digestible one-shot sounds appealing to you, don't pass this up."
—Prak, The Royal Guard
Cover vector by Quanno3, based on the original art A Song For Rarity by Palestorm (DA account deactivated)
My boundless respect and appreciation goes out to Pascoite for helping me whip this story into some semblance of professional shape.
As always, I would also like to tip my hat to some of my supporters during the story's writing: thesecret1, Dracmatais, Chris, and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.
If I might repeat one sentiment that I would like to part with:
"Without choice, love is meaningless." —East Wind
Stay safe, and go and tell someone how much you love them today.
-Scott 'Inquisitor' Mence
Interesting, very interesting. Great premise, but for me the execution was stand-out. If I may be so bold, you've come a long way since Shades of Grey was first posted.
I'm going to go ahead and withhold my thoughts on the ideas presented, partly because I'm not entirely sure about them yet, and partly because this isn't the place. PM me if you want a discussion, or more specific feedback.
For now, congratulations. Don't ever stop writing--but more importantly, thinking.
2051544 Can't imagine I'll stop writing now that I've learned how, but I can absolutely guarantee that I will never stop thinking!
Oooh. Brilliant. A little confusing, I kinda had to reread some sections to make sure I understood it all.
Great story.
In a fandom that has seen Everything this is something New!
A thought provoking story with much feels and a new twist on the Twilight Celestia relationship.
An Excellent story.
2064223 Now that is the kind of praise I can get behind. Thank you very much!
So Celestia is effectively a hive-minded individual who assimilates a new pony each time the other's time has passed and Luna is actually closer to a daughter relations wise.
2104566 Pretty much, although I'd prefer to state the nature of Luna's relationship as simply... muddied.
2106495 Considering Celestia is directly responsible for bringing her to life, it's a little more than muddied.
Wonderful and thought provoking. A unique and interesting view of what Celestia and Luna are, and what Twilight could become. The way you present the story is very well done, and the images are powerful.
I am admittedly a little confused but I LOVED the story and the new idea was greatly appreciated!
Wow. That's one crazy story.
So sweet, but also kind of creepy. Twilight/Celestia wants Sweetie Belle to be with Luna so she can stay with her forever. So weird.
2312121 Glad to see the title wasn't too far off the mark then :)
2312129
Haha. Great job messing with my mind.
This was pretty cool, but also kinda dark.
2312121 Additionally, I'd like to point out that you're one of the very few who actually got that exactly right without prompting (or said as much, at least).
Most... interesting. I never thought of that. Sure, I have an AU with the princesses acting as avatars of an object, but I never considered that those avatars might be linked to the ponies in the past that became them... this is like kind of like AC, only instead of genetic memory allowing you to live out your ancestors' lives, you're all sharing space in the same mind, and thus sharing experiences. The DOMINANT personality is that of the eponymous avatar, such as Celestia or Luna, but the current entity embodying that avatar... is still aware, just as all the previous people that lived as the avatar are aware, but not as strong or active as the current embodiment... like you said, a choir inside your head.
Buck. I may have to use this based simply on it's brilliance. With your permission?
2313811 With appropriate acknowledgement and links, sure.
Know any artists? I could use a cover picture.
2313840 there are a ton of them on DA, but they don't work for charity. The pic I have for my fic was lent for my use by a vary generous individual. I credit her for my even having a pic.
"She’s perfect for you, and we can all be together... forever."
Always creepy.
Um.....well....this is eighty levels of creepy.
I mean the whole vaguely sexual kissing thing, the whole idea that Celestia is actually the result of sucking the life force of hundreds of ponies into one body and storing them forever, the idea that she's really just a spirit that basically possess ponies to one degree or another...
it all just felt....weird and unsettling. I know it was meant to be nice and feelsy, but for me, it was just a little too...how do I put this...pagan? It really felt like some sort of weird pagan religion thing...
Sorry dude, but you get a downvote from me. It's all just too creepy.
2865219 Seems to me that you're laboring under a couple of assumptions.
1) That downvotes are bad. As I see it, a downvote with an intelligent comment is one of the rarest things on FimFiction and should be cherished as such. Therefore, thank you very, very much.
2) None of those things were explicitly in the story (and I suspect you have a very different definition of pagan than the one I know). They're not, but it was explicitly intended to walk a fine enough line to act as a sort of Rorschach test. Honestly, I was a little dismayed that people fell most on the fluffy and beautiful side at the beginning, so I'm actually very pleased that you had this reaction—it tells me that the story is exactly what I wanted it it be!
Happy trails, and give downvotes with pride!
-Scott
2865338 WOW THAT WAS THE LAST REACTION I EXPECTED. THANK YOU.
And yeah, my definition of pagan is in the old school Christian definition. Go fig.
2865414 Actually, I'm not quite sure what that even is. Would you be willing to indulge me? My knowledge of the word is from the Roman-era roots as a synonym for heretic—essentially a derogatory term for anyone not believing in the 'one true god'. Though it has been hijacked by several variations on turning it into an -ism, I still assume it's secular connotation unless otherwise explicitly stated.
2865431 Well, it is rather close to heretic, but also, the term pagan is usually used for any religion along the lines of Greek myth or Druids and the like. Stuff like harvesting souls, and using sexual activities (such as french kissing) to harness the life force of others is a BIG thing in such religions.
Along with the ultra-creepy idea of Luna somehow being Celestia's daughter through self-impregnation (at least, that's how I read that scene), another really old school, Druid style thing.
And yes, I know about the virgin Mary...but that'd be another, rather long winded and complicated discussion about the inner workings of Christianity that would be rather boring and needlessly pointless under a story like this.
Another 'pagan' trait was the idea that Celestia is somehow made of the souls of all her dead students, which she harvests and contains to derive her power from (kind of like how certain Cannibal cultures believed you gained an opponent's strength and knowledge through eating them).
2865489 I certainly have an appreciation for where you're coming from now.
Whilst it was always supposed to be open to interpretation, I can at least give you how I imagine each of those things, so see if you find the disparity interesting.
Celestia didn't 'kiss' Twilight, she forced her lips apart to breathe part of herself into her former student. It's Twilight who subjectively took is as a kiss, hence her reaction to East Wind and the pegasus's comment that 'it isn't necessary'.
It never says how Luna was born. To my mind, Celestia imparted some her of power (a part of the 'creation spell') into an already pregnant mother. The relevant detail being that she did it to an unborn foal, implying that the foal was already gestating before her intervention (it just doesn't say who its gestating in). This has dark connotation any which way you slice it, but then the story acknowledges that within its text.
Note that East with says that Celestia is inside her, not the other way around (also note that Celestia jumps from the bed: Twilight has become Celestia, rather than Celestia absorbing Twilight). I'd always imagined that the negative interpretation was that of a parasite, it never occurred to me that it might get taken as 'consuming' her students. The new host constitutes half the merged personalities, and the prevalence of Twilight's desire to console and protect Sweetie Belle was intended to highlight that. The original Celestia is the three foals forever at the very back of her mind, fragmented and eternally damaged.
It's fun, isn't it? I wanted to see what assumptions people would make, and here we are!
Than you so much for explaining your assumptions to me!
-Scott
2865824 ah I see. Thanks for explaining and being so nice.
Sigh. The journey continues for those who are still alive.
The kind of void that you are left with really cannot be filled right away. It's a hollow feeling, especially over a figure that's as large as Twilight. It's a great fic, really. Thanks for writing and sharing it.
2866564 Thank you for reading it! And doubly so for commenting.
As much as I flat out enjoyed writing Movements of Fire and Shadow (shameless self-promotion!) more, this really tickles my philosophical side more—you know, what-makes-ponies-tick kind of stuff. I like to think it holds a dash of making something beautiful out of a horrible situation mixed with the understated horror of trying to fix societal problems with magic (as a stand in for technology, government, or force of arms).
In the end, it is only when we can no longer open our hearts to others that the void goes unfilled. Pity those who haven't known enough love to know the void is in their heart.
-Scott
2866625
It's totally unrelated, but that fic was why I decided to try my hands on musical fics (my shameless plug about my Bizet Carmen opera here)
Kindness is capable of leading to tragedy if there's misunderstanding. That's the scary thing about Celestia's own reassurance to Sweetie that's been on my mind. I think it's this part of your story that resonates most loudly with me, and Movement of Fire and Shadow as well, actually.
2866653 Do you mean 'I will be here for you, always'? (and I suppose it's parallel of Luna promising to wait until Octavia is ready).
2866679
Yes. That's it. Just how sure is Luna is of herself is no different to how sure Celestia is of herself in this story... there is a tint of apprehension and self-doubt there about that which you are leaving the audience to develop upon.
2866692 Yeah. I liked the idea of Sweetie being oblivious to the princesses dancing around their own, subtle discussion in front of her. I'd say that I think it worked, but I assume that's a given since I published it :P
2865489
Thinking in the Abrahamic traditions?
You know, when we look in the Catholic lenses, I can see trinity be used in this context. This holy spirit is what flows back and forth between the father and son and men that open themselves to salvation. That one holy spirit is a unifying agent for the singular man with the universal god.
(mind you, numerous denominations have real problems with the holy spirit...)
2866759 oh yeah...I will say I believe in the Holy Spirit in the same way as God and Jesus, but I'm not Catholic. But that is an interesting way to put it.
2866759 I'm a bit of a militant atheist about that stuff, so any similarities are entirely unintentional :)
To me it's a much more mundane interaction of two ponies who know the big picture communicating in front of a third who is not only ignorant of the subtlety, but intentionally excluded from it. It's the disparity of power and control that gives it a dark edge of manipulation, albeit well intended.
(Or I've completely missed your original point!)
2866779
To be frank, this strange nature about the idea of an intangible existence that flows through, inspires, and consumes the sovereignty of souls bothered Christianity. Many see only the dynamics of Jesus and the creator god, while they took the living aspect of pneuma with skepticism. The council of Nicaea as such did cause a schism in the schools of christian thought.
2866796
I guess what I've wanted to say is that the concept isn't alien even from the broad umbrella of judeo-christian theology. I don't really share those beliefs, but it is quite interesting to compare them! I mean... Nicean creed established then that doubting the holy ghost is basically an unforgivable sin, while we have a few evangelical schools that outright doubt in the trinity approach on god-jesus-man relationship. This sort of drastic break in interpretation is no trivial difference! Not at all!
2866814 Heh. Well, this sort of stuff is exactly why I class myself as a philosopher.
Thank you again for the comments! (and yes, I'm avoiding making any comments on theology at this point... that's a discussion better left to a more appropriate place)
This story is brilliant! You managed to convey how ponies are so different, so alien from humans.
While to a human, who values self identity and individualism, this would be pure horror (a fate worse than death). To a pony? Who values harmony and love, this is pure heaven. Quite brilliant, really.
Mind you, I subscribe to a thought that ponies are very similar to humans (general biology, psychology, etc) and represent something that humans can become, or would be, if we had different history. (so reading this story I was experiencing emotions like I was reading a horror fic)
I still very much loved this story. Thank you for writing it.
Incredible, simply incredible.
2868591 Thank you for commenting!
I find this extremely interesting because I, too, work from the premise that ponies are psychologically identical to humans (this is almost a necessity for relateability purposes). The idea that this would be a 'fate worse than death' is alien to me; my own experience is that human value harmony and love every bit as much as the ponies depicted here. To me, it's the society that is alien to the human mindset, not the biology. Our society is the horror, and theirs, while hardly utopian, simply isn't.
-Scott
2868859 Thank you so much!
*Hands over cookie*
Good story, but now my brain hurts. I dont know if im over thinking it, or i just dont understand whats going on.
2878606 There is plenty left open to reader interpretation, so I'll consider my job done well :)
I don't assume you want anything explained, but if you're interested, feel free to ask.
-Scott
2104566
We are Legion for we are many...
Shades of Story of the Blanks and Sunny Town here.
That certainly was an interesting take on Celestia's immortality and her relationship with Twilight. The whole "joining souls hive mind" thing reminds me of the Goddess from Fallout:Equestria and Project Horizons
Sweetie felt like a very strange addition to the story, but at least you tied her well enough by the end. It was repetitive at parts, and the text didn't flow too well at others, but it is decent enough for what it was.
Also, the idea of the Royal Sisters as some kind of persevering hive mind was interesting. I don't think I have seen this before. I just wish you did more with the concept, because as it is, it is more of a "wouldn't it be cool if..." than anything else.
2920099 Long story short... I agree.
I like the idea a lot, but the execution was really strange. It doesn't feel much like a new consciousness at the end. Sweetie Belle is integrated quite strangely to the situation, and Luna even more so. The kisses felt out of place each time; there are other ways to demonstrate familial love, you know. I think I would like this story a lot more if it wasn't 90% exposition and these were flashbacks instead.
3353197 Yeah, the kisses thing didn't end up coming across as I'd intended at all; none of them were meant to be anything to do with love. The first two aren't really kisses at all. But hey, you have a go and sometimes you miss the mark. I do wish I understood where the crossed wires came from, though.
Thanks for commenting!
-Scott