• Member Since 15th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen September 11th

L_Wolf


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Sequels4

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This story is a sequel to Twilight's Sleepless Nights


A few weeks after Twilight's bad dreams end a small filly arrives in Ponyville, and Twilight seems to know who she is. Even stranger, the filly looks a lot like Twilight just with out a horn.

This is a sequel to Twilight's Sleepless Nights, how will Starbloom take to life in Ponyville as filly and worse, going back to school?

Artwork by Ravenpuff

Playlist reading by Fred2266 Chapters 1 - 8
Chapter 1 - 6 have been fully grammar checked and corrected by the-pieman the rest shall be done soon as he has time.

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 129 )

First off: I love your story's plot.

However, you spelled your story title wrong. Starbloom Chronicles, correct?

Luckily I'm young enough it wont look weird when I try to write with my mouth.

... enough where it ...

"Your welcome Starbloom, but now it's bed time.

You're. :twilightsmile:

Yes, my flank maybe blank.

may be.

Final comment:

I love the plot, like I said. It's new to me, and there's more mystery to it then when I first looked at it. You have a little work to do on spelling words right, (but that's what spell-check is for!) however other than that I'm looking forward to reading more of Hornless Twilight, I mean, Starbloom's adventures.

You've earned yourself a watch. :raritywink:

2008220

Thanks for the comments and the spelling corrections. I'll go through and fix all that. :pinkiehappy: Unfortunately most of how I spell comes from years of chatting on the internet. Picked up a lot of bad habits that I need to break, like wrong usage of your and you're, as well as where\were\we're and they're\there\their. So comments like yours really help with that. But I really need to start proof reading better :twilightsheepish:

Also thanks, if you haven't read it yet, my first story, explains how Starbloom come to be who she is. But it also left a lot unexplained so I started working on this one to help fill in some of the holes.

2008816
No problem of course. I'll definitely take a look at the first one. Keep on doing what your doing. :pinkiesmile:

I kind of skimmed the story this was a prequel to, more like its last chapter only. I liked the concept of a newly filly Twilight hanging with CMC though so I'm reading this. Thus far I'm finding nothing too bad about it. Maybe things are a little too formatted in the way it reads, sometimes when having Starbloom and Sweetie talk with others it sounded a little stilted and not natural flowing. Keep it up I guess, not much else to say here.

2034191

I'll try to get it to flow better and be less formatted. I think I need to find someone to help with proof reading though. I actually hadn't heard the term stilted before so I looked it up. I'll try to keep it from being awkward in the next chapter.

Great start for a wonderful story. looking forward to the rest. Get to writing.....:heart:

I personally enjoyed the story. added with the first chapter it was a page turner for me. can't wait to read more. keep up the good work:pinkiehappy:

Whoa! A fanfic with an original plot that isn't clop or based off another fanfic? Someone shoot me!

But I don't have time to read this now...maybe later.

2095426

I did my best :twilightsmile: And take your time, chapter five is taking me a bit longer then expected.

*Peers at Minecraft Tekkit* Durn seductress :twilightsheepish:

2101566I hear ya. My own fanfic has been in progress for about 3 months now and has been rejected once. And I just got New Super Mario Bros. 2, which doesn't help.:ajbemused:

2104929

Yea, I know how that goes. I been having some writers block that doesn't help either.

You need to keep the conversations realistic and in-character. other than that, fine chapter! Bravo! :raritystarry:

2128212

Hmm, more realistic. I can see that :twilightsheepish: I'll try to improve character dialog any suggestions on how?

Study what the characters say in the show, and improve the dialogue by learning how the ponies speak.

2132650

Hmm I understand, I'll try to do better. Is it a general thing or is there a character I'm having particular trouble on? Such as Applejack and Apple Bloom's accent.

Mostly Sweetie Belle and the CMC. Like someone else said before, the conversation sounds stilted and fake.

2134689

Oh, okay I'll see what I can do to make make it better. I looked stilted up but I'm still not to sure what it means.

I like where this is going

Good, just improve your grammar because you are missing commas in A LOT of places. Otherise it's fine, just continue to improve your writing. :twilightsmile:

2222816

Mmm, I'll go back through and check over everything. Like I did with Twilight's Sleepless Night, maybe not as big a revision though.

:scootangel: hard to keep them flowing but your getting there. good job

:pinkiesmile: now this is going in a good direction I like it...

maybe have Starbloom have memory hallucinations about what happened to her in her own time?

2471540
Hmm maybe, but she isn't in her own dimension anymore. She was physically removed from it and placed in the current world she is in.

2472634 oh, right. Well, maybe she can start having hallucinations about that. maybe what she did to have that done to her.

2476343
Hmm maybe, I'll think on it

Cover photo is too cute.....

2655946
Yep it is :twilightblush: I was actually using a cheaply edited vector I found. When I asked the guy if I could he actually made that one for me, even added the name and everything to it.

:scootangel::unsuresweetie::applecry: CUTIE MARK CRUSADER NEW CHAPTER READERS YAY!!!

Glad to see this is updating again, though you may wish to remove the On Hiatus tag.
On an unrelated note, we need happy CMC emotes.

2744687 Yea, I should switch that, I just hope this groove I'm in keeps up :o

We do need better CmC icons :rainbowhuh: Only happy one is Scootaloo, Applebloom looks sad and... not sure what Sweetie Belle is doing :twilightoops:

2744707 :unsuresweetie: Sweetie is unsure of what she is doing as well :unsuresweetie:

2744749 Mhmm, but she looks cute doing it, all that matters :twilightsmile:

I do hope these two chapters aint to bad. With how chapter 7 turned out, Chapter 8 and 9 took a pretty dramatic turn in my option. Honestly chapter 7 isn't one of my favorites that I've written so far.

2744798 My favorite chapter is Chapter 31 :twistnerd:

2744707 We need MULTIPLE more emoticons, with different characters, too....like....-cough, cough- Diamond Tiara, not the same ones. :unsuresweetie:

2745013 :pinkiegasp: You told me Chapter 17 was your favorite! :raritycry:

2745019 Yea would be nice to have a good variety of different characters as well, Diamond Tiara would be good, Colgate as well, Dinky, Noi, Roseluck, Carrot Top :O The list just goes on and on.

2745031 >.> Maybe Bloomberg... if he behaves himself this time. :facehoof:

2745041

if he behaves himself this time

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? :twilightangry2: BUFFALO STOLE HIM. IT'S NOT LIKE THAT WAS HIS FAULT. HE DID NOTHING WRONG.

2745045 That's not what I meant :derpytongue2: Last time I tried to include him in something he stole my Swedish Fish :raritydespair:

I really like this story, hope you keep writting!

Also I noticed you repeatedly messed up "there" with "their" in the story. If you're not grasping the right use of the two words I recommend reading it up in a dictionary. (there are online ones with search function! :P ) If it's simply a typo that keeps happening then I recommend getting a pre-reader for these sort of things!

I also noticed quite a few other word and wording problems in the fic but I'm too lazy to point them out. :p

2745342 I'm actually pretty close to do with this story. I had that feeling last night when I finished chapter 9, most of the issues I could bring up as a conflict I've already brought up. I still want to explore Scootaloo's home life, which I have an idea for. I know that aspect has been explored a lot already though but I raised the question already. I also need to figure out what Twilight is gonna talk about for Family Appreciation day.

Hmm, the messing up "there" with "their" I though I had a handle on >.< That's just me not paying to close attention when I type. :facehoof: Same with the other words I mess up. I guess I do need to find a pre-reader though.

She noticed a cutie mark of a rain cloud on his flank

She caught a glimpse of his cutie mark though, a soccer ball.

So does Scootaloo's dad have two cutie marks then?

2747608 Sorry I was tossing ideas around in my head when I was trying to come up with the cutie mark, I must of left both in. :facehoof: His cutie mark is the rain cloud one. I'll go in and remove the soccer ball one.

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