The Real Chapter Six
The Real Chapter Six
AKA: Nopony Knows How to Hold Their Liquor Pt. 1 of ?
Orion woke up feeling like he’d been hit by a truck. Which for all intents and purposes, Big Mac probably was... Last night’s workout had been short but intense, but he felt a bit better knowing at least some basic ways to get out of a hold. There was something else nagging at the back of his mind too, but what was it… Ah well, he was sure he’d remember it eventually.
He walked down the stairs, the aged wood feeling soft and warm beneath his hooves… or maybe it was just his mind telling him that it was a homey feel… who knew anymore what was real and what was in his head. He abandoned a sense of reality about the same time he accepted that Luna and ponies in general were a real thing. He finally reached the end of the stairs and remembered what else about last night had been interesting.
The girls were still passed out in the living room.
Or rather, half of the girls were still passed out in the living room. Fluttershy was still unconscious with a goofy grin on her face, and Rarity and Pinkie Pie lying on their sides snoring… huh… Dash’s snoring in that hospital episode seemed to be a pretty realistic example of ponies snoring…weird.
He was about to try poking them when he saw a scroll lying on the floor with what he was pretty sure was Twilight’s cursive inside.
Dear Orion,
Sorry about last night, we were all very tired, so don’t worry about why we passed out. Don’t question the reason, just accept it. Applejack and I were the first ones up this morning and we were able to wake up Rainbow Dash as well. The other’s didn’t respond, and if they’re still asleep when you get up, please do your best to either wake them up or help them get home. Applejack is leaving to go do her farm work with Big Macintosh in the Southern Orchard, I’m going back to the library to write a report for Celestia, and Rainbow Dash said to ask you, “If his wings beat both ways, ask him to call me.” Not sure what it means, so ask her yourself. Oh, if Pinkie Pie doesn’t respond to anything conventional, just drop a sugarcube in her mouth and stand back.
Sincerely,
Your very accepting friend Twilight
P.S. If you want to talk about ANYTHING, come find me.
P.S.S. Applejack said that if her brother hurts you, to let her know.
V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
IN THE DINING ROOM OF CANTERLOT CASTLE:
Celestia was in the middle of enjoying a nice plate of cinnamon toast when a familiar burst of green flame erupted in midair right in front of her. Unfortunately, she wasn’t used to such early deliveries from her student, so before she could catch it in her magic per normal, it got a little wet… Actually, it got a LOT wet… hay, it fell into the pitcher of orange juice.
“Oooohhhh… shit.” The solar princess swore, much to the amusement of the two guards posted at the kitchen door.
“What could she possibly be learning about friendship this early in the day?” She wondered out loud, making a mental note to have the two guards who snickered run a couple laps around the castle after their shift was over.
As Celestia read a letter devoid of her student’s usually collected thoughts, her eyes grew wide in shock, and finally, a devious grin took up residence on her face.
“Oh by my sister’s icy teats, Luna’s going to have a fit when she hears that her little crush is rutting the pride of Sweet Apple Acres…” she muttered to herself.
“What about Big Macintosh Sister?” Luna asked, having just teleported to the dining room for what was effectively her dinner.
“Nothing Luna, I’ll tell you later…” Celestia said, burning the letter, “Let’s just say that your little friend Orion has managed to find himself a few close friends since he moved to Ponyville…”
“You never stop being weird, do you?” Luna responded, too tired to even bother trying to make heads or tails of her sister’s response.
“Not as long as the author keeps writing the way they do…” Celestia noted.
I thought we agreed that breaking the fourth wall would only be done by a trained Professional Pinkie Pie…
“Tough. Now go back to the real story.”
V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
Orion put the letter down and shook his head. He didn’t try and make sense of what Twilight said except the obvious… which at the moment meant that there were three passed out mares in the living room, and his job was to get them home one way or another. He went to the kitchen to get a glass of water to help him out. When he got back, the only one that was showing signs of stirring was Rarity. Figuring that she would be the easiest to rouse, Orion knelt on the ground, folding his hooves under him and using his muzzle to nudge her head. When all she did was twitch her eyebrows, he decided to try using words…
“Rarity… Rarity, time to get up…” he said softly, not getting a response.
“Come on now, it’s time to get up off the floor.” He said, this time a bit louder… still nothing.
“Alright… we’ll try this the interesting way…” he said, his wingtip dipping into the glass of water. He flicked the water on her face, and still all she did was to wrinkle her brow. “I’ll bet if your precious mane got wet, you’d be up in a flash.” He said, jokingly holding the wet feathers over her mane.
Rarity’s eyes shot open in an instant, and the next thing Orion knew, he was sailing through the room after taking a straight shot of the fashion designer’s magic to his face.
“Oh my stars! Darling, are you alright?!” Rarity said, getting up and running over to the wall she had just dented with his skull, “You really shouldn’t sneak up on a unicorn dear. Really, we have a tendency to shoot off a bolt of magic if we’re startled too much.”
Orion’s head bobbed around on his neck like it was attached by a rubber band. “Now they tell me. You know Twilight, for the brightest young witch of your age, you really are a dumbass…” he slurred, his eyes rolling around in his head… He was considering going to one of the doctors in town if this kept up…
“I beg your pardon dear?” Rarity asks, a warning tone in her voice, “What did you just say?”
“Urghh… Nothing Rarity… give me a minute while I get my eyes to stop seeing doubles…. Again…” Orion mumbles, his hooves pressed into his eyes to try and stop the sickening swirling sensation everything seems to have taken on.
“In the mean time Orion, would you care to tell me why I am on the floor of Applejack’s home? And why you woke me up? Don’t you know it’s rude to wake a lady up prematurely?” Rarity said, rising to her hooves and walking around the living room a bit before noticing Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.
“Ugh… You and the rest of the gang kind of passed out last night after I forgot about proper etiquette and not only stretched my wings in front of you, but also took off my vest because I was hot from working with Big Mac.” Orion explained, “Twilight left a note to get you guys up if you weren’t already, and to see you all home. I don’t have work until five anyway, so it wasn’t going to be an issue… but this stupid headache won’t go away now….”
“I’m so sorry darling… I didn’t realize you were trying to help us out like that… truly, you are a gentlecolt even IF you woke me up by threatening my precious mane.” Rarity said, her voice and looks softening as she skimmed the tiny letter left by the purple librarian. Her mind raced with the images of everything she and her friends had seen the previous night, and she blushed at the memory of having seen something so intimate and so… aggressive…… It really was a shame that Big Mac had claimed him; otherwise she might just be tempted to try and steal him away. On the other hand… Rainbow Dash’s message had given Rarity the spark of an idea... a wonderful, devious, delicious idea....
“Hello? Equestria to Rarity…” Orion said, fanning her face with his wing, “You there?”
“What? Oh yes sweetie… I’m still here, just got caught up in my thoughts is all…” she replied sheepishly, “I’ll be more than happy to take Fluttershy back to her cottage; it’s not that far from where I live. But Pinkie I believe has to be at her work soon, so if you could please see to her.”
“Yeah sure… just have to find a sugar cube somewhere…” he said, mumbling to himself as he walked to the kitchen and rummaged through the cabinets. When he finally found the sweet little blocks and back into the living room, Rarity and Fluttershy had already left.
Taking Twilight’s message to heart about standing clear, Orion dropped the sugar cube into Pinkie’s mouth and flew over behind the couch, ducking down like it was a bunker made out of steel.
And he waited…
And waited some more…
Jeez… it had to be at least a full minute now… why did Twilight say to take cover?
Orion poked his head over the top of the couch to see if she was even awake. Nope… she was still passed out on the floor.
“Is she dead?” he wondered out loud, walking around the couch and kneeling beside her. He prodded her nose with his hoof
and checked to see if the sugar cube was effective at all.
As it turns out, poking Pinkie’s nose was a horrible, awful, painful idea… As soon as he made contact with the normally hyperactive pink pony, a spark of static flew between them, knocking Orion back on his flank, and Pinkie’s eyes shot open. They looked around for an instant before focusing on Orion’s face, only a few inches from her own. Her smile seemed to just appear on her face, her face twitching the appropriate muscles too fast to register, and the next thing he knew, Orion was on his back as a shock wave rolled across the room. Pinkie flew up into the air, her hair puffing up and her eyes shrinking to pinpricks as she literally bounced off the walls.
You think I’m joking… no, she bounced from laying on her side to the ceiling, then from the ceiling to the floor again, and repeated this process a few times at roughly the speed of a slow moving bullet. Albeit, a bullet that’s made out of a super ball… attached to the nose cone of a bottle rocket… fired from a moving train... Okay, so he kind of lost sight of her she was moving so fast… Anyway…
When Pinkie finally calmed down, she sat down in front of Orion and cocked her head to the side, her brow furrowing as if she were considering something about him.
“Hey Orion?” she finally said, “How old are you?”
“Uhhh… I think we have a different calendar where I come from… how old are you?” he responded, remembering that Luna mentioned something about the girls being fully grown adults.
“I’m 19.” Pinkie said. “Now, how old are you?”
“Oh, wow… so our calendars aren't that different after all… I’m 20… why do you want to know?” he answered, surprised that there were some things that just didn't seem to fit the expected biology of a pony… then again, the Cake twins were probably still early school age… maybe ponies just aged faster at first, and matured quickly after a certain point.
“Because I’m planning your party silly!” she replied happily, smiling like only Pinkie Pie can manage, “And I needed to know how old you were so I would know to get cider or anything fun like that.”
“Uh huh…” he answered flatly, “Well anyway, according to Twilight’s note here, you’re supposed to be at work this morning, but I guess I could walk you to town if you want. I’ve got nothing else to do today, so I may as well see the town a bit more.”
“Okey-Dokey-Lokey!” Pinkie agreed, following Orion to the door. He was about to go out, then stopped and asked her to wait for him while he ran up the stairs to grab his vest. As he went up the stairs, Pinkie noticed the scroll left on the living room floor. She zipped over and read the note, her eyebrows shooting up at the thought that Dash would ask Orion if he went both ways… Then again, that probably wasn’t a bad idea…
As she was trying to figure out how she’d breach the subject with the grey pegasus, a sharp rapping came from the front door. Pinkie opened it to see an out of breath Roseluck looking around the living room behind Pinkie, her face flushed red and her body gleaming slightly from sweat. If Pinkie had to guess, she’d say that the flower mare had run here from her home on the other side of Ponyville.
“Heya Rosey!” Pinkie greeted, smiling.
“Hi Pinkie. Where’s Big Mac. I need to find him by yesterday.” The red maned mare responded, sounding more than a little stressed.
“Well, according to Twilight, he’s in the Southern Orchard.” Pinkie answered, surprisingly direct. Something about Rose gave off the vibe that she was not in a joking mood.
“Thanksgottagobye.” Rose said quickly, galloping off and following a sign near the entrance to the farm that pointed to the trail leading to the Southern Trees.
“Hmm……I wonder what that was about…” Pinkie mused out loud as Orion came back down the steps wearing his vest, this time already unbuttoned so he wouldn’t overheat and he didn’t have to worry about any miscommunications. He also had his music crystal in his pocket and his headphones around his neck.
“Ready to go Pinkie?” he asked, looking out the door at the road leading to Ponyville.
“Sure am Orion!” she replied happily, “You know, with the white vest and the headphones, you remind me of one of my other friends… But she’s a unicorn, not a pegasus.”
“Who’s that?” he asked, amazed that he might be able to have a normal conversation with the normally insane pink mare.
“You wouldn’t have heard of her if your music is different. She’s kind of popular here though. Her name’s Vinyl Scratch, but her stage name is DJ Pon3.” Pinkie explained, looking off into the distance as they walked just long enough to miss Orion’s smile at the mention of one of the fan favorite characters.
“Believe it or not Pinkie, I have heard of her. She’s a pretty big name where I come from. We’ve also heard of Octavia.” He said, surprising the hyperactive baker.
“Really?! Well then, I know who to call up for your party!” Pinkie said excitedly, shifting into party planner mode, “Let’s see… this means that I’ll need to get spike to send them both a letter today… I wonder if they’ll both be willing to show up after that breakup? Oh well, I have enough dirt on them to where they’ll have to show up for the party. I’ll need to talk to Applejack about getting a few barrels of cider, maybe see if Princess Luna has any moonshine let over after that Winter Solstice celebration, OH! And I can’t forget Berry Punch for the wine and hors d’oeuvres… can’t remember the last time I had a cheese plate that good….”
As Pinkie rambled on about what she would need for the party, Orion popped his headphones on and listened to Party Hard. Back on the farm however, there was more than a bit of trouble brewing for a certain farmer.
V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
Roseluck had been running up and down the rows of trees looking for the red stallion of Sweet Apple Acres. She’d even gone to the extent of looking in some of the trees themselves. Her breathing was becoming ragged, her face flushing a deeper red as the very thing spurring her on started to make it too difficult to carry on. Finally, she spotted Applejack kicking the fruit off one of the trees.
“Applejack!” Rose shouted, running over to the orange mare, “I need your help! No, I mean, I need your help to find the person to help me!” she said, her eyes wild and shifting.
“Uhhh… Sure thing Rose… what can Ah do fer ya?” AJ responded, sizing up the crazy looking flower salespony.
“I need your brother for something. I need him right now actually. I’ve been looking everywhere for him. Where is he?!” she asked hysterically, Applejack beginning to worry about the poor mare.
“He’s over in the barn, up in the hay loft. Ah sent him to go get some tools to prune the dead branches from the trees and he…” AJ trailed off, Roseluck having vanished in a cloud of dust as soon as Applejack said hayloft. Applejack scratched the back of her head with a hoof and watched the usually calm pony galloping off full tilt towards the barn in the distance.
“Well that was weird…” Applejack said to herself, musing out loud, “Last time Ah saw her like that was when she was chasin’ Big Mac with that crowd of Heat crazed fillies last summer……… Ah Buck…”
Applejack ran after the flower mare as fast as she could, leaving her own trail of dust as she tried to head off the Heat driven female.
In the barn, Big Macintosh had just finished bringing down the last of the tools that AJ had sent him for when he heard a mare’s voice calling out his name.
“MAC! BIG MACINTOSH! WHERE ARE YOU?” the mare called out urgently.
“Ah’m in here.” Big Mac answered, poking his head around the corner and seeing Roseluck standing in the entrance.
As soon as she saw him, her eyes grew wide and a smile popped on her face that would have made any other stallion shiver, but Big Mac was made of stronger stuff… plus, you know, being around Pinkie Pie and Twilight when she had that nervous breakdown kind of numbed him to the effects of a crazy smile.
“I need you right NOW Big Mac.” Rose said, walking over, her pace at odds with the urgency of her tone, “I need a big strong stallion like you to help me…”
“Well what do ya need?” he asked calmly, looking her in the eye as she grew closer.
“I need you to help plant a seed…” she answered breathily.
“…. A seed? That’s it?” he asked, his face scrunching up in mild confusion.
“Yes. But not just any seed… It’s a very important seed… And I need you to help me plant this seed as many times as you can… as fast as you can…”
“I’m sorry Miss Roseluck, but I don’t quite follow you… what kind of seed is it?” he asked, a blur of orange in the corner of his sight drawing his attention.
“RUN BIG MAC! SHE’S IN HEAT!” Applejack hollered, His eyes growing wide in comprehension as Roseluck pressed her forehooves against his chest and pinned him to the wall of the barn.
“I need your seed Big Macintosh…” Rose said, her eyes wild with lust and her breath coming out ragged and wanting; her forehooves moving from his chest to his belly and even lower still, trying to grab what she wanted.
“NNNNOPE!” he shouted, spinning against the wall and breaking her hold long enough to land on his front hooves and take off running.
Roseluck snarled in frustration as her prey ran out of the barn, the entrance being blocked after him by his sister, who was twirling her lasso overhead, waiting for Roseluck to make the move that would let her be captured.
“Now just calm down Rose… take it easy and nopony gets hurt…” Applejack cautioned, watching for any
movement that would telegraph Roseluck’s next move.
Unfortunately, Roseluck had other plans. She didn’t try and go around Applejack, and the orange farmer was unprepared for a direct charge. As Rose bowled Applejack into the air and took off after the large red earth pony, she snarled and snorted like a feral creature.
“I’LL GET YOU YET MY PRETTY!” She yelled, chasing after Big Macintosh with all her might.
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uuuhhhhh....
I want to know what will happen between Rarity and Orion i have only saw a few story with such a good way to keep my attention
Am I the only one thinking that any stallion that Pinkie Pie has her eyes on when she is in Heat is screwed?
2041340 yes?
2041793 honestly, i'd be more concerned about Fluttershy. you know what they say, it's always the quiet ones...
2041690 just wait until tonight. hopefully i can write the next chapter up to the point that i want, otherwise we won't be seeing anything serious between Orion and certain members of the Mane 6 until the third part of the story...
2042668 "YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE ME"
.
You mean this part? More seriously, I don't think Fluttershy might be that much of a problem, unless you add the Angel factor
On the other hand, you can away from Fluttershy. I don't recall anypony succeeding doing that when Pinkie Pie is concerned.
2043342 bear in mind, the characters in this fic are slightly different from what we see in the show... Fluttershy has a different quirk that makes her a scary prospect for a love interest... you can PM me if you want a more in depth reason though.
Hey I got to ask how much longer before the mane 6 realize he's not gay? Don't get me wrong it's a nice twist and it's hilarious to but I just want to know.
2044254 ah ah ah... no spoilers ;)
(but don't worry, it'll be sooner rather than later. i can only think of so many ways to drag this bit out.)
2044308 ah don't worry about it I don't like spoilers anyway but thanks for the clue
means alot
2045807 So should i take it that you enjoyed it? anything in particular that you liked?
Isn't that a wizard of oz reference.... if your referring to a musical though its probably wicked, but can I haves the cookie anyways?
Watch this funny music vid