• Member Since 6th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 25th, 2019

starcross7


I stare at souls

T

Talks broke down. The unification failed. Hearth's Warming have never occurred. The Great Pony War divided the land, and fears of a prophecy forced the unicorns deep underground and into near extinction.

Almost one thousand years have passed. The curious unicorn Sparkle yearns to breach the surface to discover its many wonders and to search for her missing father and brother, both of whom crossed over many years ago. She is forbidden to leave the safety of her subterranean village of Unicornia until she discovers an orange earth pony washed up on the shores of an underground river. That pony bears one of the six Elements fabled to change the world.

Or destroy it.

Cover art credit goes to ouyrof.

Re:Harmony was conceived before Season 4 aired, so some personalities and character relations do not line up with the show's canon.

Also, please refrain from revealing spoilers in the comments. Thanks!

Chapters (133)
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Comments ( 1457 )

This reviews the all the chapters up till this one.

The story is pretty good. Good idea, and mostly good execution. Mostly.

One major thing is that the mother daughter duel is completely and totally skipped. Twilight asks for help training, and wakes up after the duel is over. I would say that skipping over it actually hurts the story, as it is a major point.

The other thing is the battle before that. You could have gone into greater detail of just about everything that was going on. Could of. I would advise looking it over, though its nowhere near the importance of the missing duel.

I think I'll follow, and see where this story goes. Good luck. Happy Writing..

2003506
It could be that Starcross7 is choosing to come back to it in a later chapter. Actually, it was pretty clever if you think about it: making the readers curious about it and hooking their attention, making them want to see what happened during the duel to the point that they would follow this story through to the end to find out.

As for this story, I am really liking this so far myself. However, you might need to double-check your work to get rid of a few errors. Other than that, I'm tracking and liking your story, then I will wait for many more chapters to come! Keep up the great job!

2006232
I agree

Keep going with the story, its very good!

I like what I'm seeing so far, you definitely have an interesting idea for a story and plenty of room to work with. There are however, a few mistakes that take away from the story. Grammar and spelling is okay but it's clear at times that you use Spell Check rather than having someone reading it. As cheesy as it is to use puns, words like "boy" aren't in the pony dictionary, I wont pretend to be an expert on this but it can sometimes throw off the reader. It also occurred to me that Twilight knows a little bit too much about how things work just from scavenging what she finds at the bottom of a hole, I don't know about you but I don't think that someone who has spent their entire life in a cave would know what a motherboard is, let alone how to set up a computer. The other two issues are the world lore so far and the duel. So far we can tell that earth ponies have trucks that can run on "fuel cells", basic airplanes, gas masks, guns, computers, and apparently fusion grenades. Now I hate to be a stickler about this but it seems like they would be able to make something better than a propeller planes if they were able to make complex electronics and create a miniature fusion device. The issues with the duel have already been addressed so I don't really think I need to go into that, other than that I feel like you have a very good idea for a story here. I look forward to seeing where you take this!:twilightsmile:

So...Pinkie’s sisters are bounty hunters. Interesting...I am going to enjoy seeing how that will play out. Anyway, here is some C&Cs:

...seeing it reach this far into the the other side of the Chasm...
> There are two ‘the’ when they should be only one.

‘Pegasii’ should be ‘Pegasi’.

“The first one. And aren’t you going to introduce us to your marefiend?”
> Correction: “The first one. And, aren’t you going to introduce us to your marefriend?”
> Side Note: I know this doesn’t mean anything yet...but, I’m begging ya, don’t go and turned this into a shipping nonsense (at least with the Mane 6 anyway)! It had been done to death and then some.

Keep up the great job!

2018455
It depends on which version of Latin you are using.
Both "Pegasii" and " Pegasi" are correct.

2019505
Hmmm, didn't know that. Heh, neat, I've learn something new.

2020347
Lol didnt know it either until i started taking latin:twilightsmile:

good alternate universe, direct in my fav

Still good! Just keep on writing!

(Joke) Alt. Title: Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Fwd:Re:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Fwd:Re:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Fwd:Re:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Fwd:Re:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Fwd:Re:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Fwd:Re:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Fwd:Re:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Re:Fwd:Fwd:Re:Harmony
Stop forwarding this crap to me.

Twilight is over kill. How many chapters are planned for this story?:trixieshiftright:

Something is telling me that 'Deep Blue' is going to be very handy in Twi's hooves. I am going to assume that you're being mysterious with 'Deep Blue' description right now (good move on your part), so I'm not going to say anything yet, but I do hope to read what it look like.

C&Cs time:
The scrawny bespectacled cream-colored pony bolted up after enjoying his nap underneath a stack of papers and tools.
> Missing a comma after the word 'bespectacled' (too tired to checked the spelling, so just google'd it) and ‘up’.
“Good lord, every time I come look at your workshop it's a mess!”
> “Good lord, every time I come to look at your workshop, it's a mess!”
“I hope your ’Roboponies’ will work unlike last time.”
> Comma after ‘work’.
...in stepped a gruff and muscular stallion with a flat-top mohawk along with a handsome blue stallion with an orange mane.
> Comma after the word ‘mohawk’.
"My apologizes sirs," said Bond.
> Comma after the corrected word ‘apologies’.
"We are unable to decode the second set past twenty-five percent."
> I’m not sure about this one, but I think you might want to put a comma after ‘set’.
"Wait sirs!" Bond cried.
> Comma after ‘wait’.
"Those dumb ungrateful jocks,"
> Put a comma after ‘dumb’.
"Even in here they might be listening."
> Comma after ‘here’.
"Well it doesn't matter anyway because it's back to the drawing board for the two us.”
> "Well, it doesn't matter anyway, because it's back to the drawing board for the two of us.”
Here, one not could not help but pass by the flag of Gaea hanging off almost every wall.
> Delete the first ‘not’ and put a comma after ‘help’.
“...we won't have time to idle around if want to get that Alicorn thing.”
> First, I think you might forgotten a word before ‘idle’ (possibly either sit, roam, or whatever you feel like) and replace 'idle' with ‘idly’. Second, there is a missing comma after ‘around’. And, lastly, you might want to add ‘we’ before the word ‘want’.
Twilight and Applejack stayed in what could be best described as mansion
> I think you should put an ‘a’ before ‘mansion’.
…forcing them leave their original homelands for fertile grounds.
> There should be a ‘to’ after ‘them’.
The Applejack told was that there was the written history the Government put out...
> You should add the word ‘version’ before ‘Applejack’.
Through the thick latticed glass the Mare in the Moon kept watch over Twilight and Applejack...
> Put a comma after the word ‘glass’.

Lol hurry with next chapter!!

I love the series! :pinkiehappy:

First off, whoa...okay, there is something definitely wrong with Posey. Second, something smell fishy with this whole situation. Third, poor Twilight's father (and Twilight by extention). And, lastly, I gotta a feeling...(not going to explain, just to tease ya all).

C&C (at least those I had notice):
I didn't take it seriously, but then late a night
> The ‘a’ shouldn’t be there.

Okay, I want to give you a good pat on the back! You are getting better at catching those mistakes. Keep up the great job!

Great and wow sad about twilights father but when is the next dhapter doming?

Very nice. Just enough hints and clues to make want to reach though the screen and drag the answers from you. Brilliant, keep it up.

*Ding* You've got dragon mail!

Well... that's one way to get to the alicorn also I think they should free the changeling queen as a distraction for the annoying earth trotters, cheating with their mirror pool infused cloning pods.

Hmm Spike is attempting to teleport them, isnt he?

Yay Chrysee escaped now were going to see changeling shenanigans. Also now they have Celestia... though I wonder why she is so cuddly with the young Twilight, considering she doesn't really know her or does she now? Will celly be able to regrow her wings and horn when they get back to the surface? Oh and where's luna in all of this.:trixieshiftleft:

cheers:twilightsmile:

2037752
Oh, I don't know, probably an epic multiverse crossover with about a thousand chapters and dozens of OCs. :derpytongue2:

2037659
The title was inspired by the song, Re-sublimity.

This is a very good chapter and this story is well written and interesting, plz write the next chapter. I give this 5 twilight smiles!

:twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

Applejack you foal you weren't supposed to do that! :facehoof: Damn it you should have stuck with the plan now twilight has to save your hind quarters.

I keep getting the feeling we're coming to the dramatic reveal that...

Na, not going to say it, but it was pretty much loaded into Chekov's Gun in a previous chapter. Anyone else notice it?

Keep going! Very well done:twilightsmile:

I feel like im going to cry poor Applejack, Twilight and even Trixie. Whats got into her?:fluttercry:poor :trixieshiftleft: poor :ajsleepy: poor:facehoof:

Interesting so far. Out of curiosity have you ever heard of Antipodes? It has a somewhat similar premise to that of your story.

Omg Lmao
You got pinkie exactly right:rainbowlaugh:

Photo finish is a bitch... nuff said.:twilightsmile:

Heh heh, uh oh, it seems that Apple Bloom is on the trail of the truth, and every lies that Posey painted up will be ruined. Ooooh, I can't wait to see that. As for this new turn-of-event...man, Applejack can't get a break! At all!

C&C:
She didn't to much reading from her borrowed books...
> Not sure where you was going with this one, so I’ll just point it out for you to fix.

I'll be going back to earlier chapters to C&Cs them, since I was unable to get the chance before, due to some problems with the site.

Man, Quake is asking for trouble! Here hoping Quirky is all right. And, it seems that Applejack is going to get another reunion...hopefully with better results.

Not for Photo Finish though.
> Comma after ‘Finish’.
"And the truth is that zhey and their ilk will be cleansed by the hellfires Twilight the Redeemer!”
> I’m not sure, but I think ‘hellfires’ is being used incorrectly, and there should be a comma after it.
"But I have seen you!”
> Comma after ‘But’.

That was one of the best Pinkie scenes I've ever read.

"Son?"

"Dad?"

...Say wha?!
---
Oh, and by the way, great job on this chapter! I didn't see any mistakes, at least any that would pop out at me.

Poor Mrs. Cake, the poor girl is just so broken and miserable. Oooh, that government so need its butt handed to them! And, it seems Spike get to meet Gummy. Heh.

C&C:
he cried.
> ‘He cried.’

2105661

Chrysalis in disguise? :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

There was that doppelganger AJ fought. That was just a drone though. I'm not imagining things, right? I did read that happening? :ajsleepy:

Hmmm, I got a feeling Posey did something to Bon Bon, like she have done with many other ponies. Seriously, I can't wait to see karma coming back to bite her in the rear end. As for her hating butterflies, I have a suspicion to why...and, if it is what I think it is, then she is even worse than I previous thought she was, and I already hated her guts to begin with. And, here is hoping that poor Applejack get some good luck soon.

C&C:
..."screwball"...
> Capitalize ‘screwball’.

Heh...heh heh...HEHAHAHAHAHA...hehehe...HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ooooh, that Pinkie Pie, how I like thee. Seriously, that mare can easily get a laugh out of me. Great job on getting her character down perfect.

C&Cs:
"Wha--how is it--what they hay are you doin' here?"
> Replace ‘they’ with ‘the’.
I swear Pinkie, I never wanted all this happen!
> Add ‘to’ after ‘this’.

Great work with this chapter, you are doing a wondrous job catching those mistakes, and the story is rocking more and more as it goes on~!

there is a point where you push too far, these fools might just have done it.:twilightoops:

I don't want this story to end! It's too awesome.
Keep it up :D

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