Re:Harmony

by starcross7

115 - The Party Bomber

“Hiya Surprise!” waved Pinkie.

“Hiya Pinkie!” waved Surprise.

“You know Lord General Surprise?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“Not personally,” replied Pinkie, “but I’ve heard so much about her.”

“I’ve heard so much about you too!” added Surprise. “That riot you started; boy, I wish I could’ve been there!”

“I know, right? Twilight, Applejack, Sunny, and I had lots of fun! There were tasty cakes, colorful balloons, pretty fireworks…”

“I don’t think that’s how it all went down, Pinks,” said Applejack.

Pinkie Pie really wished she could talk more, and maybe swap party tips with this fun loving white pegasus that stood across from her and her group. In the end, she could not ignore the terror attached to her friends’ hearts as they winced nervously. Many of them were sweating, and Fluttershy hid and held behind Applejack in fear. The martlet birdies also hid in fear, but in Fluttershy’s mane.

“Look, um, we really have to get going,” said Twilight. “This is a really big place, and we need all the time to find what we’re looking for. Right girls?”

Her friends fearfully nodded in agreement. Twilight furiously, if not comically motioned everypony to make their way to nearest vacant monorail car. After a brief pause, they did as they were commanded, hopeful that Surprise, pardon the pun, would not be caught by surprise.

However, Surprise was an ultra-powerful Lord General everypony feared. If she could make it up to this big floating castle, then she could easily block the advance of Pinkie Pie and her group. It took everything within Twilight to cover up her shriek, and Rarity nearly fainted when Surprise suddenly appeared before them. Pinkie swore she was watching as she followed her friends. It was like she vanished in a wisp of white smoke, and then made her appearance with a soft descent as if it was normal.

“You can’t leave,” said Surprise almost innocently. “I have to stop you.”

“Lord General,” said Twilight. “Don’t you know what your Empress is planning? She’s about to destroy most of Gaea and end a lot of lives in the upcoming war.”

“I know, but every pegasi in Pegasopolis is bred for war, and fighting is all we know. Now, if Fly-Fly wants me to let you go, I would, but she’s my friend. I have to do what she says.”

“Friend?” asked Dash. “If she asked you to murder a pair of innocent ponies you accuse as spies, would you?”

“I would. I know you Rebels are afraid of her, but she’s just misunderstood. Fly-Fly has good plans for the surface world and does not want to unnecessarily waste a lot of lives.”

“She sure has a nasty way of showin’ it.”

“We ain’t gettin’ through to her,” said Applejack as she drew forth her Sword of Truth. “Lord General or not, it’s seven of us against one pegasus.”

That didn’t seem fair, and it was mean for Applejack to suggest the idea and menacingly reflect the light of her Sword towards Surprise. Pinkie sensed a kindred spirit in the white pegasus, and she wanted to, as much as possible, settle this on a high note. The Pinkie Gear answered her call, and she instantaneously zipped in between Applejack and the fearsome Lord General.

“Wait!” Pinkie cried. “Let me fight her. By myself.”

They gasped.

“Are you nuts?” cried Dash. “This isn’t just a regular Lord General like Flash or Soarin. This is freakin’ motherbuckin’ Lord General Surprise! She is the second most powerful pegasus in Pegasopolis, or even the whole damn world!”

“I know,” said Pinkie. “And to be honest, I’m absolutely and positively terrified. But I think I can talk her out of her ways if I fight her by myself. This would be the best tactical move. You guys can go find the Fifth Element while I keep Surprise busy.”

“But you’ll be all by yourself!”

“I’ll be fine. I’m sure Twilight agrees with me that this is our best option.”

All eyes suddenly focused on Twilight. A few seconds of nervous sweating later, she uttered a sad sigh.

“According to my calculations,” said Twilight, “Pinkie is right. Her Pinkie Gear will keep Surprise busy, and if she beats her—“

“If she beats me,” Surprise interjected.

“Then Pinkie can easily catch up to us.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like Surprise is going to go along with it,” said Dash.

“I’ll go along with it,” said Surprise.

“There is no way in heck that she’ll—wait, what did you say?”

“I said I’ll go along with it. Taking you all on wouldn’t be fair to me, and I rather take you all out one at a time at your highest peak. It’s a lot more fun that way.”

“Aren’t you ordered to stop us?” Twilight asked.

“Of course! But Fly-Fly did not say how to stop you, so fighting you one by one isn’t going against her orders. So, everypony except Pinkie can board the monorail, and I get to fight Pinkie Pie.”

“Wait!” Pinkie cried. “I wasn’t ordered to stay and fight you. Somepony give me an order!”

All eyes drifted back towards Twilight once more. For a moment, she nervously looked to Sunny for guidance, but all the alicorn offered back to her was a vague nod. Twilight turned to face Pinkie Pie, and swallowed hard.

“Keep Surprise busy,” she said. “I don’t care if you win or lose, but come what may, I give you this order: don’t die.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” saluted Pinkie Pie. “Have fun on the monorail ride! Take some pictures and make sure to buy snacks and souvenirs for me!”

The Pink Wonder barely watched her friends along with all the birds and bugs uneasily boarding the monorail car, for she was too busy staring Lord General Surprise down while making sure she didn’t vanish into thin air. Understandably, Pinkie’s friends were anxious, but they all offered their heartfelt waves of goodbye. Rainbow Dash appeared the most anxious. She looked she was going to punch the next pony next to her, and next to her was Applejack, not that it mattered much.

“Pinkie Pie!” cried Dash. “If you lose, I’m comin’ back to beat her up. Then I’ll beat you up--in videogames!”

The egg-shaped monorail car clamped its glass doors shut. It accelerated for a moment before it sped off with a subdued “whoosh”. Finally, Pinkie Pie and Surprise were alone, and instead of the two lunging at another, they mutually decided without an exchange of words or glances to walk back to the large waiting area.

“That Twilight’s gonna be a great leader someday,” said Surprise.

“I know, right?” said Pinkie. “When I first met her, I thought to myself, ‘boy, this is a smart pony’.”

“She needs to be more assertive, though. A great leader would threaten you with punishments, like ‘if you don’t win, I’m going to rip your Insignia off your flank and add it to my Death-Quilt of Shame’.”

“Oh, Surprise. My Twilight’s not like that. Also, that’d hurt.”

“Isn’t that the point?”

“Believe me, I’ve been in a prison where they threaten me all day, and as Nana Pie had sang to me, I only have to giggle at the guards and laugh it all the way. Sure, they beat me up for singing out of turn, but the tune caught on, and whenever we get a chance, we sing ‘Giggle at the Guardsies’.”

“’Giggle at the Guardsies’… I like the sound of it. That’d be a perfect victory song after I eviscerate my captors who dare to bind my wings and keep me imprisoned.”

“Wouldn’t it be more fun to befriend the guards instead of killing them?”

“What do you mean? They beat you up. Isn’t that a declaration of war on your body?”

“They’re only doing their job, but if you talk it over with cake and punch, you’ll be best friends forever. Not everything has to involve killing them.”

“So, you make friends without having to threaten them or with chopping off their wings? That’s an interesting concept you have there, Pinkie Pie. The thing is, I love fighting. I love punching ponies in the skull until their eyeballs pop out. I love cracking their bones in a suplex hold and tearing their skin from their flesh with my bare teeth. Usually the ponies I beat up either die or become my slaves. But friends? They don’t live long enough to become my friends.”

“Maybe I can show you how to make friends without fighting.”

“Are you serious?”

“Super-serious. How about we make a bet? If I win, you swear you stop fighting unless it is to save a friend’s life. And if I lose, you can kill me.”

“You sound awfully confident that you’ll win. All right! I’ll accept your terms. We’ll swear it with a blood-oath.”

“Ew, blood is nasty! How ‘bout we do a Pinkie Promise instead? It’s just as good.”

“What’s the Pinkie Promise like?”

“’Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye’,” gestured Pinkie.

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye… It’d be more interesting if the cupcake had razors hidden in it.”

“Seriously Surprise, you gotta tone it down.”

“Sorry, sorry! I’m not used to having a conversation with a regular earth pony from Gaea. Correction: an extraordinary earth pony from Gaea. But let me warn you, Pinkie Pie. When a pony openly challenges me, I do not hold back. You shouldn’t either…”

For the entire time, Pinkie had been speaking with a potential mirror image of herself, or maybe the Pinkie Pie who was born a pegasus. Aside from the wings, the white coat, the blonde mane and tail, and purple eyes, she expressed the same type cheerful personality as the Pink Wonder herself. All that gave way when her warm smile turned sinister right as her eyelids lowered. Surprise walked backward until she disappeared behind a fluffy white cloud that immediately disintegrated.

Fluffy clouds had already formed everywhere in the monorail station in the sky, and each one idled left and right with no care in the world. Clouds like these would be a pleasant sight, but they were anything but when it was clearly Surprise herself who generated them. Surprise did not flee. She was still here, watching Pinkie Pie, and maybe darting from one cloud to another.

It was the patience that put Pinkie on edge, and eventually the white clouds slowly closed in on her. Surprise was going to make her attack, but Pinkie did not know where. Her Pinkie Sense stopped working. It could be that she was not on the planet’s surface or that the Pinkie Gear had the disadvantage of raising her slightly off the floor.

At least her other senses remained intact. A sharp chill ran up Pinkie’s spine as a while cloud idled up right next to her. No, it wasn’t just a cloud. It was the whispering presence of her opponent.

“Now you will know why they call me Surprise.”

The Pinkie Gear pushed its wielder one meter forward, enough to escape the explosion that sent Pinkie flying and then crashing against the glass plane of the Sky Castle’s monorail station. She barely recovered only to see several of the fluffy white clouds zeroing in on her. Once more, the Pinkie Gear lifted Pinkie right side up, and it sped away as more explosions ensued right behind her.

Enclosed spaces again? Pinkie need to go out somewhere that had open spaces, and the closest thing she could find was the sign for the Mini Mall and the Amusement Park. The Pinkie Gear carried her to the path over the monorail tubes with the whole world passing through her in blurs. She took the left path on the fork, and made it. While the mini mall had two floors and a large, concave glass ceiling, there was enough space to loop around and ride along the ornate pillars and walls.

She thought she lost the exploding clouds chasing her, but one appeared right at the end of the mini mall in front of a shuttered department store. The Pinkie Gear hard-braked to a scratching halt, and right on time. The white cloud idled in front of her as if it was thinking of exploding.

In a span of a few seconds, the cloud split apart. Pinkie saw a white hoof covered with a thin layer of cloud dangerously pushing towards her muzzle. She leapt back to avoid the brunt of the explosion punch. The punch sent her flying backwards, knocking several trashcans down until a vine-addled barrier stopped her.

Never mind the bloody nose. That was mean. And cheap as well. The worst part of it was Surprise felt calmly neutral in her attack, as if it was part of the game. She must have caved in several ponies’ faces with that move.

“Bzzt-Warning. O-oxygen levels at seventy-bzzt-seventy-five p-p-percent.”

Surprise was not done, and already several of her exploding white clouds surrounded her in a sphere-like configuration. She had then launched two of them towards Pinkie Pie, but the Pink Wonder had other plans.

Quickly, the Pinkie Gear screeched and launched its rider up the pillar towards the glass ceiling. The Pink Wonder zipped over Surprise for a dive bomb attack through a gap in the exploding cloud shield.

Then another cloud appeared and exploded in Pinkie’s face again. The force sent her crashing through the closed barrier of the abandoned department store’s second floor. A nest of elongated monkey mannequins managed to soften her fall, relatively speaking, but at the very least she wasn’t out. In pain, though, but not out. She wished she had a little more time to rest as Surprise floated up and land before Pinkie with her train of cloud bombs.

“Bzzt--arning. Oxyg-g-gen levels at s-sixty--bzzt--percent.”

“Is that all?” Surprise asked. “You’re supposed to be one of the Element Bearers. You wield one of the most powerful magical artifacts that my country is trying take control of. What’s holding you back? I haven’t broken your legs yet, or have you finally succumbed to your fears of scary ol’ me?”

“I still have some fight in me,” smiled Pinkie Pie. “The party’s just getting started!”

“Oh, Pinkie. Were you trying to prolong the party with this?”

Surprise’s clouds spun around to reveal all the emergency breathing equipment embedded in them, tanks, masks and all. They were for an ancient species capable of advanced technology, but Pinkie had a plan to jerry-rig an apparatus suited for a pony nose when the oxygen levels had run out in the mini mall.

“If you could spot them when you fled from me,” said Surprise, “then I would have too. Even if you managed to get me to use up all the oxygen in this area, I would have found a way to escape. Surely, you had other plans to defeat me.”

“Uh, I do,” said Pinkie.

“Which is?

“Cause a big-big explosion and escape?”

Surprise sighed deeply with regretful smile. “Unfortunately, that plan is only going to apply to me.”

Several more clouds appeared behind the Lord General, and the blaring alarm started screaming that the mini mall had only fifty percent levels of oxygen left. Along with the fact that the Sky Castle could not equalize the levels in time, this was a mad suicide attack, except that there was one pony crazy enough to survive, however she would do it. The shield of monkey-like mannequins would do nothing to protect Pinkie Pie, and she covered her face to brace for impact.

And so, with one sharp thrust of Surprise’s left front hoof into the air, the clouds answered her call, and they blew up.

Comments

[Dlaf rferg]

Woah man, the clone wars!

[Crimson Dawn]

I knew that a chapter with Pinkie and Surprise fighting would be intense. Pinkie needs to find a way to befriend her quickly to survive since clearly she does not want to end it with killing Surprise.

I like that Twilight and Rainbow Dash are the most worried for Pinkie. That seems very fitting. I hope we get to see more Pinkie in the relative near future.

[FiredragonX]

I been waiting for this fight!

[GMZ_Casper]

Almost getting there. The story is seriously getting good. Sorry if I don't have a more in-depth talk about the chapters, I'm trying to catch up. Nevertheless, great job with the story.

C&Cs:
...then she could easily block the advance Pinkie Pie and her group.
> Either change ‘advance’ to ‘advancing’ or add ‘was making’ to the end.
...menacingly reflect the light of her Sword towards the Surprise.
> Remove ‘the’ after ‘towards’.
Pinkie a saw a white hoof covered with a thin layer of cloud dangerously pushing towards her muzzle.
> Remove the first ‘a’.