Chapter 11
MLP pt 11
Matt had spent most of the time after the impromptu trip to a blizzard, updating the Exo gene dropship he had claimed from that misadventure mostly so people wouldn't panic like when he had landed it outside ponyville on the groups return.
Matt paused as he looked at the work he's been doing on the gyroscopic stabilizers. "Hmm, I think I'll need to replace this diode. Now where did I leave the spares?" he said before heading to the equipment closet. "Probably something in here I could use," he muttered before opening the door. "Hi Matt!" shouted Pinkie as she popped out of the closet.
Pinkie hopped out as Matt made a 'hrrrk' noise and fell backwards. "You're not gonna believe how lucky I was. I entered a cooking competition and entered in my speciality and I managed to win and....Matt? Matt, are you ok?" she said happily before looking down to see Matt thumping his own chest.
Matt gasped until he felt his heart kickstart and resume its normal pace and gave a sigh of relief before he said, "Now then, Pinkie, why must you keep surprising me and why should I not retaliate with strangulation?"
"Well, I got some extra tickets and even if all of us go there is a spare one so I thought you might want to come along. Its supposed to be nice and warm there." said Pinkie, pulling what looked like a ticket out of her mane. Matt took it and looked at the writing which looked about as ticket-like as Matts gun collection did. "You wrote this, didn’t you." he said flatly.
"Well, there aren't exactly tickets, but the place we'll be going is a long way away and we only have until the weekend to get there," said Pinkie, a little embarrassed. "I don't think Twilight's balloon or the train can take us there that fast so..." "You wanna rent my ship...again," said Matt, his tone not changing a bit.
Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. Matt put his hand on his face and said in the same tone. "You do remember what happened less then a week ago...right?" he said dully, referring to the magic boosting crown currently in Twilights basement. "Oh, don't worry. I know exactly where we're going," said Pinkie, "It's a safe and peaceful resort." Matt rolled his eyes as a treacherous little voice in his head said 'Whats the worst that could happen?'
Of course, his common sense was screaming at him, 'Remember the last time you went to a resort?' "I don't know. This could backfire too easily," said Matt. "Don't be silly," said Pinkie, "Here, take a look at the brochure." She pulled a pamphlet out of her mane and handed it to Matt. Matt peered suspiciously at Pinkie, all his mental voices thinking 'How much smeg is in that mane?' before he opened the brochure pamphlet. "Hmm...seems safe enough." he said suspiciously.
The place was pretty distant, being on an island in the southern seas. Asides from the obvious beachside perks, it had a spa, fine meals, tennis courts. There was even a hiking trail through the jungle that covered most of the rest of the island. Matt sighed "Fine...when do you need to set off?" he said before noticing the other 5 outside the door peering in with hopeful smiles. "Man, I am too predictable." he muttered gloomily.
...
The ship might not have been the fanciest model in Nullspace, but it certainly had more than passable standards for the group. The flight down to the island barely took more than five hours. Matt was sitting with his feet on the controls, rather pleased with the new acquisition...especially its more intelligent autopilot AI. Aria, sitting in the co-pilots seat said sarcastically "Have you forgotten what happened less then a week ago? Eyes on the road." she said, annoyed mostly cause Matt had insisted she disable her weapon systems.
"Relax, I checked the weather forecast before we left," said Matt, "There's no storms scheduled for this area within the next week." Aria said with a smirk "Like there cannot possibly be everlasting snowstorms?" Matt jumped up at that, taking over from the autopilot, Aria standing up and going into the back to check on the girls.
"Ok...we're almost here and Matt is happily not letting the autopilot steer us in." she said in a pleased voice. "Good," said Rarity, "I certainly don't want to lose all of my luggage again." "That was an accident." yelled Matt from the control room, annoyed. "One that we shouldn't let repeat," said Rarity, "Still, I'm glad the foresight of travelling lighter this time."
Aria rolled her eyes, thinking of the several chests and suitcases filling the hold below. "Of course...lighter." she said diplomatically. "I hope the family back home can hold the farm while I'm gone," said Applejack. "AJ, we're on vacation," said Rainbow Dash, "You gotta think of things to do for fun. Like how I'm gonna see how fast I can fly around the island."
Pinkie was hopping up and down, her usual hyper self. "I can’t wait to throw a party or explore the jungle. It'll be so much fun." she said happily. "Just try to take it slow," said Matt, "Vacations are about relaxing, remember?"
Matt looked down to see a nice clearing not far from the hotel resort where he could land. "Ok...don’t leave anything on board...I don’t trust all the systems." he called out, being the dropship down. "Do we have permission to land here?" asked Twilight. "It's a jungle, nobody sentient lives there," said Matt.
...
It turned out that there was something in the jungle. Two creatures, looking like winged stags watched calmly as the dropship came into land. "More intruders...that zebra is pushing the tribes patience." said one of them. "Yes, something must be done soon," said the other. "But not yet..." said the first coldly as the ship finally landed, the back opening and a group of ponies coming out.
"But we can so easily overwhelm them," said the second, "We should attack now." "Look at the purple one...The sun goddess's student...would you bring down fire on our people?" said the first one scoldingly, pointing to Twilight "Then when are we supposed to attack?" complained the second one. "The time will come when our leader will arrive...until then...we wait." said the first, before glaring at the second "Until then...know your place."
Just then, an odd spectacle exited the ship. It looked like a small tower of packages walking on a pair of odd legs. "Travel lightly, my arse," the thing said before heading after the ponies.
The two watched until the tower had gone before seeing another person walking down. It looked like a hairless ape, except that the eyes were red...and staring directly at them despite their cover. "Perhaps we should report this," said the first stag. "I think we should..." said the second, before the two melted into the jungle.
...
The resort gates finally came into view, Matt happy at that given that he had again ended up as a pack mule...metaphorically. "Aria, why don't you ever help with the luggage?" snapped Matt. "I'm not a cargo bot." said Aria smugly.
Matt grumbled and said, "If I'm the highest ranked here, why am I so low on the pecking order?" "Because of karma." said Aria promptly. The gate to the resort swung open suddenly and a zebra could be seen, several diamond dogs and burlier looking zebra stallions standing inside. "Welcome to the Jungle jewel resort." said the leading zebra pleasantly.
Pinkie Pie zipped forward and said, "Ooh, I'm so happy to be here. I won a contest to get here but I never imagined I would have gotten here. Oh, this is going to be so much fun."
"Ah...you must be the winner from equestria. I apologise for the security but there are some dangerous animals in the jungle nearby." sad the zebra, taking a uncertain step back in the face of a full on Pinkie encounter. "What kind of dangerous animals?" asked Fluttershy in a nervous tone.
"Mostly some locals we missed when we were finding a place for the resort. We have tried reasoning with them to no avail. However, as long as you keep to this side of the island, they will ignore us." said the zebra. "I guess you're the manager of the resort, Mr..." started Applejack. "Raya," said the zebra, "But my close companions call me Ray."
Raya was about to continue when Matt finally managed to get through the gates with Aria, coming into Raya's view. "ARGH...MONSTER!" the zebra screamed, jumping back as his 'associates' clearly the security he mentioned started towards Matt.
Matt's head stuck around the corner of one suitcase and said, "Bellhops? Thank God, you have no idea how much this is killing my back." Aria watched as the two diamond dogs picked up Matt with a growl and she started walking towards them with the intent of slapping them...into the next area code. "Wait, he's with us," said Twilight, "He's a little odd, but he's not dangerous." One of the dogs said "Me don’t know. He looks dangerous to me." Matt glared "Oi...cheeky."
"Nah, it's Pinkie who you gotta keep an eye on," said Rainbow Dash. "Oh, I'll be fine, dashie. Its not like theres a big mean robot around-mmmph." Pinkie said cheerfully until Applejack hurriedly stuffed a hoof in her mouth.
Just then, Aria walked through the gates. "They're right," she said, "Matt is no threat unless he has been threatened first." "Shut up, aria. I just flew them in, sir. I'd appreciate it if I could have somewhere to stay." said Matt.
...
A little while later, the bellhops had carried the girls' luggage in. Matt and Aria were about to follow them into the hotel but then Raya stepped in front of them and said, "I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid you two can't stay here. You see, the contest prize only extends to ponies, not...whatever you are." "You're kicking us out into a place you have just admitted is dangerous?" said Matt, annoyed. His mood had not been helped by the fact that Raya's security had not left him in peace.
"I apologize, but this is a five-star resort," said Raya, "I cannot allow just anyone to be let in. However, we could potentially make some arrangement if you do a little something for me." Aria glared "We are on holiday...and you do not have clearance to hire us." she said icily. "It's a simple little job," said Raya, "Surely that's worth a stay at my fine resort." Matt glared "Whats the job?"
"There's a temple in the jungle with something very valuable inside it," said Raya, "All you have to do is go there, get it, and bring it back." Matt glared before looking at aria. "Come on, aria. There's a nice comfy pilots chair in the dropship waiting for us." he said, coldly, spotting bribery a mile off. Aria gave a distainful sniff and said, "I'd prefer to be uploaded back into the mainframe."
Raya gave a theatrical sigh. "Oh well...I am afraid my security will be along shortly to relocate your ca-." he began before noticing Matts blaster. "I won’t be blackmailed...warn your rent-a-cops." said Matt, coldly. Raya watched the two of them walk off before muttering, "Why is it so hard to hire the right people?" "But why hire them?" asked one of the diamond dogs, "Why not hire pink one?"
"Miss pie will be hard to steer where we need her if the stories are true...especially since she brought the other elements. From what I hear, this human is better equipped. It was worth a try." said Raya.
...
Pinkie hopped into the girl's suite and said, "Girls, guess what? Since I was the one who won the contest, I get to take a special tour of the island tomorrow. Isn't that great or what?" "Good for you, Pinkie," said Twilight, "But I can't help but notice that Matt and Aria aren't here."
"I wondered that too so I asked Raya and he said that he offered a place for Matt but he wanted to stay at the ship." said Pinkie, hopping up and down. "Sounds like Matt to me," said Rainbow Dash. "But he seemed to be looking forward to staying at the resort," said Fluttershy. Twilight was however looking thoughtful. "I am sure I’ve heard of this Raya person." she said to herself.
"He must have been in a magazine," said Rarity, "I mean, the owner of a five-star resort is sure to have a lot of publicity." "I don't know...I would have thought we would have heard of this resort before now." said Twilight. "You're overthinking it, Twilight," said Rainbow Dash, "Your brain needs to take a vacation."
...
Matt yawned before wincing as the cricks in his back protested. He had spent the night on the dropship and it had not been a pleasant one, the ships proximity alarms ringing every hour or so as some...thing had looked at the vessel. "Stupid zebra." he muttered, getting up, stopping briefly to bang on Aria who was sitting in a recharge station.
The recharge station hummed before Aria's platform activated. "Good morning, Matt, sleep well?" she said. "No. Some people do not have ears they can turn off at night." said Matt, angrily. "15 intruder alarms in the night...15!" "Strange, I wonder who it could have been," said Aria before checking the security cameras. Aria called up nothing but static feeds before glaring at Matt who said "I never got round to repairing them." "Well, that's something for you to do today," said Aria.
"No...first we check in on the girls. I don't trust that 'Raya' character. He reminds me a bit of Kurata." said Matt. "You do recall we're not allowed at the hotel," said Aria. "He said we couldn't stay there," said Matt, "He didn't say we couldn't check on friends. Besides, since when have I followed the rules?" "Good point." said Aria, pulling a blaster out of a weapons cabinet before seeing Matts stare and tossing him a rifle. "In case we run into whatever set off the alerts." she said.
"Probably just some curious wild animals," said Matt, taking the gun anyways.
...
The duo walked into the hotel to be greeted by the two goons from the first time. "Raya say you not allowed in." said the first one in a voice indicating a room temperature IQ. "Not even for a little bit?" asked Matt, trying to skirt around one. The second one glared and said "You deaf? YOU NO ALLOWED!" yelling the last part before being punched through the wall by Aria. "I bet he didn't say we couldn't use that door," said Matt, heading towards the new hole in the wall. The remaining diamond dog nodded nervously, stepping aside.
"Good boy, have a treat," said Matt, tossing the dog a bone. The diamond dog glared at Matt and Aria as they went in. He looked around to see if anyone was watching before he started chewing on the bone.
...
The ponies were in the lobby, staring at the dazed guard 'dog' before seeing Matt and Aria coming in. "Really, Matt, did you have to be so rough?" asked Rarity. "You could have just asked," said Applejack. "You mean how we were asked to stay out when we first got here?" said Matt. The ponies looked shocked at that, Rarity saying "Mr Raya said you turned down a room."
"Correction: Mr. Raya wouldn't let us have a room," said Aria, "Apparently, he felt our presence would affect the five-star rating of his resort." "Then the cheeky git tried to hire us for some retrieval job." said Matt, annoyed. "I think I'm starting to understand why I haven't heard of this resort before," said Twilight in a sour tone. "Treasure collector?" suggested Matt.
"I wonder what he really wants with Pinkie?" asked Applejack, "He probably ain't very sincere about that tour around the island." "We'll go find pinkie. You stay here." said Matt. "How comes we can't come along?" demanded Rainbow Dash. "Because this is a big jungle...the last thing we need is the rest of you getting lost too." said Matt.
...
Meanwhile, Raya and Pinkie have been walking along the jungle trail for quite some time now. "Boy, it sure is hot here," said Pinkie. "It's not really heat, it's humidity," said Raya. "Where are we going? This isn’t a very fun tour so far." asked Pinkie, looking around. Raya said "I have a...associate who needs some help. He'll be showing off the tour." said Raya, with a smile. "Tour of what?" asked Pinkie, "There isn't anything around but big plants."
The group turned a corner to reveal a vast chasm, a shining temple on the other side, only ruined by the vines covering it. "There...wonderful, isn’t it." said Raya, in awe. "I guess," said Pinkie, "Doesn't seem like a very fun place." "It's a lot more fun than it looks," said Raya, "You might say it's a game."
"Oh oh oh. I love games...whats the game?" said Pinkie, happily. "It's a treasure hunt," said Raya, "It's pretty simple. In the center of that temple is a fancy hat. You just need to go in there and bring it out." Pinkie grinned "Sounds like fun." she said happily.
...
Meanwhile, Twilight was flipping through a book she had brought, one about islands in the southern seas. If she could find an entry for this island, she may have some idea what Raya was up to. "I just know I heard his name before, but where?" she muttered. Matt had left a radio behind, his voice sounding out "Maybe he is just a resort owner?...dammit, something bit me...I hate bugs." said his voice
"I don't think so anymore," said Twilight, "A resort owner wouldn't want something in a temple that badly... Wait, now I remember. Celestia told me about him a few years ago. He was known to be a notorious treasure hunter and jewel thief. But he managed to get out of Equestria before Celestia could deal with him." "Explains the thugs for hire...doesn’t explain why he'd want pinkie to come here." said Matts voice.
"Pinkie may not be the sharpest tack around, but she does know how to keep one step ahead of dangers," said Applejack. "Like a temple full of booby traps," said Rainbow Dash.
"Dammit...I'll see what I can do...the jungles too thin to spot any temple from the air...we'll have to go in on foot...stay at the resort. He may have lied about this resort but I don’t think he was about the locals." said Matt, before the comm began hissing, Matt having signed off
Applejack looked at the other girls and said, "I don't know about y'all, but I ain't just gonna sit here while our friend's in trouble. I say we go after them." "Through the scary dangerous jungle?" asked Fluttershy in a terrified tone. Rainbow Dash was grinning however, "I never thought Pinkie would get to live a daring doo adventure."
Twilight gave Rainbow a wary look and said, "I know that look in your eye..." "Hey...I could find her in a flash. This islands not that big." said Rainbow cockily. "It's not the size of the island that matters," said Rarity, "It's the matter of the density of the jungle. And thinking about what horrid things could be lurking in there makes me shiver."
"Oh please. Raya probably made that up too." said Rainbow. "I wouldn't be too sure," said Twilight, "It says here that a couple of islands are inhabited by unfriendly natives." "I doubt even this guy would have built on one of those islands." said Rainbow.
"Maybe, maybe he didn't," said Twilight, "I'm trying to find which one this island is in here."
...
Pinkie looked at the rickety rope bridge before looking back at Raya who nodded encouragingly "Well? What are you waiting for?" he said. "This is safe, right?" asked Pinkie, "It looks like termites have been gnawing it." "Of course it is." snapped Raya. Pinkie poked one plank and said, "Well...ok!" She then started hopping across the bridge.
Raya's group watched as the party pony began crossing. "What do we do once she has the crown?" asked one of Raya's fellow zebra's. "As if she'd know what it really was," said Raya, "As far as she knows and ever will know, it's just a fancy hat." "What if she does realise what it is? She's earth clan after all." said the same zebra.
"The Earth Ponies are the least magical of the pony races," said Raya, "She would have no way of knowing what the crown can do." "Ok...its getting dark...her friends will be asking questions soon. I'll go back to the resort...say how she is on a camping trip with two of the staff....you two. Bring her back to the resort as soon as she emerges." said Raya, turning to leave.
The two other zebras looked at the darkening jungle and were becoming well-aware of how creepy it was. "But..." began one of them nervously but Raya was gone. "We'll be fine...the perytons don’t dare come here." said the other zebra. Just then, the sound of something growling came from the bushes.
"Oh...buck." said one of the zebra's nervously as they turned to look at the bushes. They could hear the bushes rustling as something was moving through them and the growling sound was heard again. "Lets get out of here." said the first zebra turning and bolting for it.
The second quickly turned heel and fled as well. A few seconds later, the bushes parted and Matt and Aria climbed through. "Must you make so much noise?" said Aria. "I can't help it. I've had anything to eat in hours," said Matt as his stomach growled again.
"Matt...we could have been ambushed..." began Aria before the two looked across at the temple. "Here we go again." Matt began before taking a testing step onto the bridge.
The termite-eaten plank quickly gave way under his foot, which Matt quickly drew back. "It seems that all we can do is wait, sir." said Aria, sitting down on a rock. Matt sat down too, not noticing the message on his wrist comp, showing a feed from the dropships radar...and a trio of dots heading for the center.
...
Raya wasn't the only interested in the temple. Currently unknown to Matt and Aria, three of Darius' men were sneaking closer to them through the bush. "This is recon 2...we're at the target...and you are not gonna believe who else is here." whispered one of the troopers, the trio watching Matt and Aria through a combat scope. "It's Lynch, isn't it?" came Darius's voice over the comm.
"Yes it is, sir. Looks like he's too heavy for the bridge. We observed a local go inside 2 minutes before he arrived. We're observing for now." said Recon 2. "The local's probably getting the crown for Lynch," said Darius, "He'll be there for a while. Make sure he'll be staying a lot longer." "We'll be ready, sir." said Recon 2.
...
Pinkie trotted through the main hall of the temple, looking around. It looked...faked...as if someone had read about what temples looked like then guessed. The fakeness was confirmed by a collapsed wall at the far end, revealing a corridor leading deeper in and down.
"Do temples normally have basements?" Pinkie wondered to herself before going down the corridor. The corridor itself was littered with rubble and broken devices that would have looked at home on Matts ship as well as various primitive devices like axes and arrows. Pinkie walked through the area with the air of a sightseer, missing the various traps attempting to get her, ranging from spikes that fired a fraction too late to laser beams that vaporised the rocks just next to her.
"Hey, what's that?" asked Pinkie, looking close at the ground and thus narrowly avoided having her head smashed by a huge log. "Oh, it's just a funny-looking bug," she said before continuing on.
The path finally ended at a door that had long since given way to the abuse of the elements, revealing another room that seemed to have once held dozens of things but now only held a single item, laying in the middle of the damage.
The hat was resting upon a small head-shaped stone on top of a short pillar. At first glance, one would think it was just a farmer's hat. But upon closer inspection, the crown of the hat had been expertly woven to resemble a three-layered cake with ribbons and garnets for frosting and decorations. Pinkie was the first to recognize the hat...after all, she'd worn the near-replica in the hearts warming pageant.
"Now there's a fabulously-delicious-looking hat!" said Pinkie, "Rarity will be so impressed." Pinkie immediately grabbed the hat and threw it onto her head before shuddering as the hat glowed faintly for a second. "Ooh, tingly," said Pinkie before she noticed the pillar the hat was on starting to sink.
A disembodied voice, grave in its tone said "Security breach. Omega class artifact removed from containment. Security drones deploying." Pinkie glanced around and said, "Security? Raya didn't say anything about security." A caterpillar tracked drone rolled into view, a single red optic focusing on pinkie. "Breach located. Neutralizing." it intoned, raising one of its arms to fire a blast of lightning.
Pinkie jumped out the way in time. "Ok, I don't think this is quite so fun anymore," said Pinkie. The drone seemed to concider this before firing at the roof, causing water to flood the floor.
"What? Water? Where's all that water coming from?" asked Pinkie before a wave of water splashed her face. She licked her lips and said, "Not salty, so I guess it's not seawater." The drone didn’t seemed bothered, aiming its arc cannon at the water instead before firing.
Not even Pinkie could avoid this blast and the water surrounding here would have made it useless to try. The room lit up as the lightning hit home. After the light faded, the drone looked at the floating body of Pinkie and stated, "Breach neutralized." Suddenly, Pinkie's eyes popped open and she said, "Whoa, what was that?"
"Error...breach augmented by omega class artifact." chimed the drone, aiming at pinkie again. "Omega class artifact?" asked Pinkie before glancing up at her hat, "Is that what this is all about?" The drone simply began firing again, forcing Pinkie to flee.
She quickly swam towards the corridor until she could get back on to dry ground. Then she ran up the corridor as fast as she could.
Another lightning blast shot into the wall just behind her, blocking the corridor with rubble. Pinkie didn’t stop, heading through the temple and back into the open to see Matt and Aria at the far end of the bridge. "Matt, Aria, what are you guys doing here?" asked Pinkie. The far figures turned and waved to her.
...
Matt and aria turned at the sound of Pinkies voice, though she was too far away to make out what she was saying. "Pinkie? Hey...come on...lets go." he yelled, waving to her to get over to the other side. "I don't think she'll be able to hear us," said Aria, "Our voices don't appear to cover the distance between us and her." "Huh, I though horses were supposed to have better hearing that humans," said Matt.
Aria shrugged "She is wearing a hat..." she began before spotting something. "What the..." she started.
...
"This is Recon 2. Local has emerged...she has the subject...transmitting feed to basecamp." said the voice of Darius;s scouts. He had been here several days with a full squad looking for the artifact that the coordinates had revealed and now some pony was beating him to the prize.
"It's about time someone got that crown out," said Darius' voice, "Retrieve the artifact and dispose of the local." The feed revealed a pink pony crossing the bridge. Suddenly, Darius felt utter fury at the sight of it. Reaching for the comm he growled "Recon...kill that annoyance...NOW!”
...
Suddenly, Pinkie paused as her nose itched and her eyes fluttered. "Nose itch and eye flutter? Oh, something going to try and hit me," she said before quickly jumping aside as the sound of gunfire filled the jungle air. Matt and aria began firing at a ridge further down the ravine, clearly where the shooters were hiding, some of the shooting beginning to focus back on them.
...
One of Recon 2 fired a burst at their attackers, causing the mercs to duck down. “Shit...if that local gets off the bridge, we’ll never catch it. Andies...plasma launcher on the bridge.” Yelled the team leader. Andies pulled out a launcher tube with a glowing blue canister on the top and aimed it at the far end of the bridge, firing a orb of plasma at it.
...
Pinkie wasn't exactly sure what was going on, but she knew she'd be a lot safer if she was with Matt and Aria. So she was running across the bridge as fast as she could.
Suddenly a glowing orb shot out with a earsplitting whistle to slam into the far end of the bridge. The glow stopped to reveal a beeping canister, the glow having come from a slit in its top, showing a sliver of a glowing substance.
Pinkie had been around Matt long enough to know what that beeping was supposed to be. She skidded to a stop before turning around and trying to run back to the other side.
It was too late as the timer on the plasma launchers mortar ran out and it compressed in, shutting down the ammo's magnetic stabilizers and detonating the warhead. The blast was large enough to knock aria and Matt into the bushes as well as cause the rope bridge to buck like a cut cable.
Pinkie was flung up into the air by the tension of the snap and her trajectory was nowhere near the bank of either side. She fell with a scream down into the small chasm to the river below.
...
Recon 2's leader grinned as the figure of the pony took a nosedive down the canyon. "Gotcha, you little marshmallow. Ok, boys...lets get down there before Lynch does." he said. The other two nodded and pulled out rappel line grapplers.
As the troopers started climbing down the ropes towards the river at the bottom of the chasm, a sound started to become more apparent. It sounded almost like huge bird wings flapping.
Recon 2's leader was first down, looking around the long grass that littered the floor of the canyon, looking for any sign of pink. "Control...This is recon 2. We've nailed the local...securing artifact for retri..." he began before looking around as his merc 6th sense kicked in. "Hold...we may have contacts." he whispered.
The sound of feathered wings flapping was alot closer now. "Maybe they're just big parrots," said one trooper. "More likely her pegasi friends have found us," said the leader, taking his gun out. The two troopers stopped when they realised that they were one man short. "Dawkins? Hey, dawkins." yelled the squad leader, looking around.
Just then, one of the troopers pointed and called "Over there!" There was a small tree growing beside the river and there was a branch barely hanging on, as if something large had fallen and snapped it.
"Bingo...we'll worry about dawkins later. He's probably caught on an outcrop." said the recon team leader. The two headed for the broken tree...and so missed it when the two halves of Sgt Dawkins landed in the brush. The group looked around on the ground for any sign of the target or the crown.
"Where the hell did it land?" muttered one of the two troopers before spotting a hint of pink. "Here...hey, boss. Over here." he called, heading for it.
The troopers headed over there but paused once they got close. The pink pony was there, but there was also a pair of odd-looking creatures. At first glance, one would assume they were deer, but then they'd notice that instead of fur, they had blue and green feathers as well as the wings, forelegs, and tails of large birds. One was a doe and the other a stag with particularly sharp-looking antlers.
"What the hell are those?" said one of the troopers. Recon 2's leader glared "Who cares? Waste em before they use the artifact for a chew toy." The two 'deer' had heard them and quickly took to the air. They let out vicious-sounding screeches before lunging at the troopers with their talons bared. The two troopers barely had time to raise their rifles before the creatures dragged them down.
...
Pinkie's eyes spun as she started to come around. She tried to get to her feet, but she had such a throbbing pain in her head. What had hit her so hard? And what was she doing here? For that matter, what was her name? She looked around dizzily to see several winged deer standing in the nearby long grass. "Erm...hello?" she called out, causing the two deer to whip their heads in her direction.
Pinkie felt pretty nervous, especially since their antlers looked sharp enough to cut her. The two walked out towards Pinkie before one of them focused on the hat Pinkie was wearing and taking a worried step back.
Pinkie slowly got up to her feet, this time managing to keep her balance. She looked around to get some idea where she was, not like she knew any places she could be. She spotted a small pond and managed to walk over to it. She glanced at her reflection and said, "Wow, I am really pink. I wonder if that has something to do with my name?"
The two deer were keeping a respectable distance, peering at her with a worried look and muttering to each other. Then Pinkie took another glance at her reflection. "Wow, thats a great hat," she said, "I wonder where I got it." The two deer slowly walked forward, each one trying to push the other ahead of him.
"Er, we need to be moving now," said one of the deer. "Yes, there will be more invaders coming and you mustn't go with them," said the other. Pinkie looked confused "What? What invaders?" she asked before a voice from the canyon wall above yelled "Hey...hey...stay right there." Pinkie and the two deer looked up to see two figures, one of them calling.
"My lady, you are too important to let those invaders get to you," said one of the deer. "We must carry you to safety, no disrespect intended," said the other. Another voice from the other side called out angrily "Hey...look what those freaks did to recon 2...waste em." before more weapons fire shot down. "No time to lose," said the doe before grabbing Pinkie with her talons and taking off.
The trio left in such haste that they failed to notice that the two groups weren't helping each other, having turned to fire at each other.
...
Twilight was working on getting the radio working. "Hello, Matt? Are you hearing me? Hello?" The sound of weapon fire came through the comm followed by a colourful exclamation in matts voice. "Twilight...this is NOT a good ti...DAMMIT...Aria...on your left."
"Uh, maybe I should call back later," said Twilight. "No...we're ok...the dufus's can;t reach me...HAH...TAKE THAT YOU FU...ok...never mind. I got some news....good and bad." said Matts voice. "Uh, what's the good news?" asked Twilight. "I found Pinkie. She was going into some kinda ruin on the far side of a ravine." said Matt's voice, cut off briefly by some weapon fire.
"Is that the bad news I'm hearing?" asked Twilight. "The idiots blew the bridge when Pinkie was coming out. Gave her the express elevator straight down into the ravine. I dunno how she survived it...some...deer things carried her off after taking three mercs out...oh, I almost forgot...Darius is in town apparently..." said Matt, adding the last part sarcastically.
"Wait, wait, Pinkie was carried off by deer?" asked Twilight. "Flying deer, actually," said Matt, "With feathers and talons." Twilight went wide eyed at that. "Twilight darling...are you ok?" asked Rarity, concerned. "Pinkie's been captured by perytons," said Twilight weakly. "Perywhats?" asked Rarity. "Perytons, they're half deer, half bird, and very unfriendly to people who intrude on their land," said Twilight. "I'm guessin' that's who Raya was talkin' about," said Applejack.
"Must be...dammit...I’m heading back to the resort...STAY T-" began matt before an explosion cut the channel off. "Why am I not feelin' confident with Matt's rescue attempt?" asked Applejack. The sound of the main foyer doors was heard at that point. The five ponies headed to the balcony to look down and see Raya walking into the hotel reception with a smile.
"Why does he seem so glad?" asked Rarity. "Probably not for a good reason," said Applejack. Rainbow however was glaring. "You heard Matt. That jerk used pinkie...probably to get something from that temple." She said through gritted teeth. "Oh, she may have been badly hurt," said Fluttershy, "And those perytons are taking her away to who knows where?"
"We gotta find her." said Rainbow, urgently. "But we don't even know where they're going," said Fluttershy. Applejack turned to look at Raya who was talking to the diamond dogs that Matt had knocked around earlier and pointing to the damage it had caused. "Nope...but ah bet he does." she said. "But he won't just tell us where they are," said Fluttershy. "Oh, you better believe he'll tell us," said Rarity.
...
Raya had been in a good mood...until he’d seen the state of the staff when he had returned. Apparently the 'hooman' had barged in, despite his orders to keep him off the grounds. "And you didn't do anything to stop him?" snapped Raya, "What kind of security am I paying for?" "We try to stop him. Female tougher then she seem." said one of the dogs.
"I don't care," snapped Raya, "I expect better results for my money's worth." "Not worst part." began the other diamond dog. Raya rolled his eyes and said, "Oh, please, what could possibly be worse than that?"
Just then, a blast of magic sent all of the diamond dogs flying. Raya turned to see the girls, each looking furious. "Er, ladies," said Raya, "Can I help you with something?" "You...fiend. You;re almost as bad as that mule, Blueblood." said Rarity, angrily.
"What? What are you talking about?" said Raya. "Don't play dumb with us," said Applejack, "This whole so-called vacation is a big set-up, ain't it?" "I, er...I don’t know what you're talking about." said Raya, nervously. "Oh yes you do," said Applejack, "You better start being honest with us before we make you. And I know dishonesty when I smell it, so I'd quit lyin' right now."
Raya snorted "Huh...fine...Like anyone would believe you." he said before continuing "If you really must know, I have research that indicates that the temple in the jungle stores the long lost crown once worn by Councilor Puddinghead of the Earth Ponies long ago. Of course, that same research also says that the temple is built atop alien ruins so that's hardly something you can be expected to believe."
He waited for the laughter to start with a annoyed look before seeing instead, their horrified looks. "What? The temples got hardly any traps in it." he began. "You sent our friend into a near-certain death trap so you could claim one of the most powerful artifacts in Equestria?" snapped Twilight, "Doesn't her well-being matter at all to you?" "Huh...Who do you think you are?" said Raya, with a amused snort.
"Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's protégée," said Twilight, her tone deadly serious. Raya’s grin froze in place at those words, the rest of his face looking terrified. "About that....erm...of course I care about your friends well being. I...left two of my staff at the temple." he said in a shaking voice, a free trip to the moon already playing out in his imagination.
Just then, two zebras ran out of the jungle yelling, "THERE'S MONSTER IN THE JUNGLE!" Raya and the others looked surprised, though Raya looked annoyed "What are you fools doing here? You're supposed to be waiting for the ar...I mean for miss Pie to emerge."
"When there are growling monsters in the bushes waiting to eat us? I don't think so," said one of the zebras. Raya gulped and turned back to the now furious mares. "Er...I'm sure they're kidding." he said unconvincingly.
"Sure, I bet the perytons are real hospitable," said Rainbow Dash sarcastically. Raya sweatdropped "You....know about them?" he said shakily, that mental vision of a trip to the moon looking more like reality. "Not a lot, but enough to know that Pinkie's probably their prisoner now," said Fluttershy.
"Erm...well....its like.....THIS!" said Raya, yelling the last part before throwing a vial down, the potion inside bursting into a smoke screen. He bolted for the door....and got it in the face as something outside shoved it shut in his face. Raya fell onto his back and said, "Ow, who's the dolt who-" He stopped when he saw Matt in the doorway and he did not look happy at all.
Matt calmly strode into the lobby, some unidentifiable green goo on his gear. "I'd like to make a complaint about this resort." he said in a calmness that his twitching eye and plasma blaster proved wasn’t genuine. "Er, of what nature?" asked Raya.
"Well...the locals are really violent...and you never said in the reviews that you only set this place up to use a friend of mine as a amateur tomb raider." said Matt, his grin becoming a snarl as he advanced on Raya, who was backing up. "Wait, wait, you don't know the whole story," said Raya. "You mean like how you've also hired a bunch of mercenaries to ambush Pinkie as soon as she left the ruins?" snapped Matt.
"What mercenaries? What are you talking about? EEEEK!" said Raya, shrieking as Aria also came in, the girls joining in. Aria had clearly been the priority target, what looked like scorched metal bones visible. She effortlessly picked Raya up by the leg. "Answer the sergeant, Mr Raya." she said in a distorted voice.
"I don't know anything about mercenaries," said Raya, "I just had my staff placed there to relieve her of the treasure. I didn't hire anyone else. I couldn't afford it if I wanted to." Matt glared as Aria stared closer. "He's telling the truth..." she said, dropping Raya on his head, dazing him. "I figured as much," said Matt, "No way he'd have the green to hire out Darius' boys. I just wanted to make him squirm."
He turned to the others. "What? No scolding?" he said, referring to how he and Aria had teased Raya. "Not this time," said Twilight, "Mostly because we're more worried about Pinkie, but also because we're not very sympathetic with him." Matt nodded "Ok, Raya...where do these...Perytons live? You must know where they are." he said, turning back to Raya.
"What? You're not thinking of going to those savages, are you?" said Raya. "Yes...yes I am..." said Matt, confidently. "But they're bloodthirsty brutes," said Raya, "They'll rip you apart as soon as..." He paused before saying, "Very well, I can tell you where their tribe is."
"Good...and while we're getting Pinkie...Aria can look after you..." said Matt, before leaning in and hissing "With the express order to snap you in half if you even think of running." Then Matt turned to the ponies and said, "So girls, ready for a rescue mission, safari-style?" "Uh, hang on a minute," said Rainbow before dashing off.
The others watched as Rainbow Dash flew back up towards where her room had been, Aria firing a blast into the floor suddenly, causing Raya's hench-zebra's, who had been creeping for the door, to freeze. "The sergeant did not say you could leave." she said.
"Right," said Matt, "not sure who's clean or dirty, though I'm certain the diamond dogs are." "Both figuratively and literally," said Rarity. "That goes without saying," said Matt, "Anyways, nobody's going anywhere, except us." Aria nodded "I'll make sure everyone is comfortable here." she said with a sinister smile.
A few seconds later, Rainbow Dash flew back, only now wearing a safari outfit that looked extremely familiar. "I've always wanted to wear this on a rescue mission in the jungle," said Rainbow Dash. Matt just stared before shaking his head "At least this can’t get any wierder." he muttered
...
A little time later, everyone was dressed for a jungle safari, though Matt had to call Rarity's into question. "A dress doesn't seem like appropriate jungle wear," said Matt. Rarity, who was also wearing a matching hat, said, "Well, someone needs to bring a bit of beauty and culture to this backwater place."
"Good grief, I'm starring in a tarzen movie." Matt muttered, holding a ion arc rifle he'd grabbed from the ship. But that wasn't the only competition for most annoying companion in this picture. Rainbow Dash was getting into the adventure a bit too much, including some self-narrating.
"Rainbow Dash. If you narrate one more puddle, I'm gonna shoot you." snapped Matt. "Yeah, there's always a lot of boring parts before the real action actually starts," said Rainbow Dash, "But you gotta stick with the story."
Matt growled and was about to actually make good on his threat when a snapping noise got his attention. "Hey...anyone hear that?" he said, tapping his goggles to turn on the motion tracker. Fluttershy was already hiding behind him. "Is it dangerous?" she asked nervously. Matt looked around "No idea." he said, his eye looking at the mini radar circle on the top right of his vision. "Can;t see them."
"They're probably hiding in the bushes," said Applejack before kicking one bush. A spooked lizard shot out of the bushes and into the foliage at the far end. "Man...lets stay calm and watch where we're goIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNG!" said Matt, screaming the last part as he walked into a bush and fell down a slope it had concealed, various yelps of pain and swearwords getting quieter as he progressed down.
After a little while, the yelping and swearing stopped. "Matt, are you ok?" called Twilight. "I'm fine...just fine...I hate this jungle more then everfree." replied Matt.
"You just need to take every pitfall in stride," said Rainbow Dash. "Easy for you to say," snapped Matt, "You can fly over them."
Matt got up again, annoyed "Stupid useless jun-" he began before hearing a rustling. "-gle?" he began, drawing his blaster.
The girls had also heard the rustle and clustered close together. "What was that?" whispered Fluttershy. "Maybe it was just one of them monkeys," said Applejack.
Matt looked around, panning his blaster around, "I don’t think its a monkey." he said, gravely before spinning round and firing at a blur shooting at him with a angry shriek.
The blast hit, but the blur was moving too fast for it to just drop, so Matt had to duck under as it went overhead.
Matt fired a three blast burst as the creature shot back into the undergrowth, missing. "GIRLS...GET OUT OF HERE!" he yelled, firing at a shape speeding through the bushes to his right.
The ponies quickly started galloping back down the path, but a blur in front of them forced them to stop.
The sound of weapons fire could still be heard in the background as the blur, hidden by the shadows from the trees walked into view to be revealed as a winged stag. "Unicorns..." it said in a slightly disgusted voice, looking at Twilight and Rarity.
"Erm, hello," said Twilight nervously, "I am-" "We know who you are, student of the sun goddess," said the stag.
Twilight gulped. This creature did not seem like it was worried by the fact that she was Celestia's student. "Your princess knows that this island is our domain." said the creature, icily, two more emerging from the bushes on the left and right of the gang.
"Well, I can explain why we're here," said Twilight, "You see, we were invited here by that zebra who runs the resort-"
The peryton growled and made a slashing noise at a bush with its hoof, a neat slice of the bush falling off. Twilight immediately fell silent at that with a gulping noise. "Our leader will decide what to do with you." said the peryton nastily
"Er, I'm sure there's a civil way to settle this," said Rarity. The closest peryton turned to glare at Rarity before pushing her along.
...
Meanwhile, Matt was climbing up out of the trench he fell in, with slow progress. He managed to finally pull himself over the top to see the trail the girls had used before running down it. "Girls? Rarity? Twilight?" he yelled before saying "Anyone?" quieter.
He heard a slight rustle and Matt turned, hoping to see one of the girls. Instead, a peryton limped out of the bushes. Judging on the burn on one wing, it was the one Matt had hit.
Matt pulled out his blaster, aiming at the creature. "You keep back." he said, backing up a couple of steps. The peryton glared at Matt and tried to take to the air. It only got a few inches off the ground before its wounded wing spasmed and it fell.
Matt continued to glare before rolling his eyes and holstering his blaster and reaching for a pouch on his belt. "Look...stop moving or you'll make that blaster wound worse." he said, sternly while pulling out a hypo-injector.
The peryton growled before turning and trying to run. Matt glared “Look...you can take your medicine or lose your wing to infection. Your choice." he said, annoyed, pulling the activator strip off the injector to activate the med-nanites inside.
The peryton stopped and turned to look at Matt, wincing as Matt injected him in the burn. "Why should I trust you?" he asked suspiciously, wincing before his burnt feathers dropped off, replacing by new healthy ones. He flexed and flapped his wing experimentally, but he didn't feel any pain.
"I wouldn’t try to fly yet, buddy. The nanites still need to reconnect the nerves...if you strain it, the wing could become useless." said Matt, conversationally, making the peryton gulp a bit before it sat down and glared at Matt.
Matt put the hypo-injector away and said, "Now then, why were you guys attacking us?" "You were invading our territory," said the peryton. "Yeah, I get that, any other reason?" asked Matt.
The peryton glared at Matt before saying "You are not from the sun goddesses lands. One of her guards would not have the...air that you have about you."
"That and they wouldn't likely have these," said Matt before raising a hand and wiggling his fingers.
The peryton nodded "The sun goddess knows that these lands are ours and promised to leave us be." he said. Matt sighed "No wonder stripe boy wanted someone else to do it...scapegoats."
The peryton snorted and said, "If it weren't for those hounds of his, we would have ran him off the island months ago."
Matt said, apparently to himself "Where were my friends taken?"
The peryton glared at Matt and said, "And why should I tell you?" He jumped back as Matt pointed his gun at him. "Because if you don't, I will mount that empty head of yours on the wall of my room and make the rest of you into venison," growled Matt.
The peryton didn’t seem impressed and recovered quickly "You're not a killer..." he began only for a energy bolt to shoot past his head and split a tree sapling. Matt adjusted his aim. "Wrong. Try again." he said icily, addng "Where are my friends?"
The peryton gulped and said, "They'll have been taken back to the village. The new chief will want to dole out their punishments."
"Ok...get up...now." said Matt, gesturing with his blaster before saying "You're gonna lead me there...and pray they're still alive cause if they aren't..you will find out exactly how little like them I am." threateningly.
The peryton nodded and started flapping his wings. "Ah, ah, no flying," said Matt, "Unless you can carry me there, we're walking."
"But the camp is many leagues away..." the peryton began before jumping as another blast incinerated a patch of grass. "MOVE IT!" yelled Matt.
The peryton started walking quickly before Matt said, "Slow down, Bambi. You're walking at my pace and I'm not letting you out of my sight."
The peryton grumbled before slowing down, muttering something about 'Bambi'. After the group left, a metallic disc, a camera lens visible on it hovered down, having seen the entire thing.
...
Darius watched the drone's visual through his monitor. "So, Matt's going to where the bird-deer live," he said, "This will certainly save on the slash-and-burning."
A trooper walked into the tent. "Sir...dropships have delivered the first of the tanks and combat exo-suits. We'll be ready to go where you need us." Darius nodded, finally something going right. "Ok...corporal...set the drone to relay its position when it finds the camp."
...
The perytons lead the ponies into the deeper part of the jungle. The only distinction of where they were going was a faint deer trail which would have taken a lot of time to find on their own.
The shift to pavement was unexpected, but even less expected was what it would lead them to: a small village of houses, made of stone and significantly dilapidated.
The perytons had added a wooden wall, complete with gate to keep out their fellow jungle inhabitants...and there was ALOT of perytons, members of all sizes coming out of the huts to look as the leader led them in, towards a larger building in the center, the remains of a sign saying 'istra' on it.
"Wow, them perytons are hard workers to build all this stuff," said Applejack. Rarity gave a distainful sniff and said, "If they were that hard working, these buildings wouldn't be half-ruined."
Twilight spotted something "I think this was already here, applejack." she said, nodding towards a rune on one of the huts...the same one that had been in the facility that had been under the ponyville dam. "Keep moving," snapped one of the perytons before prodding Twilight with his antlers.
"Yow...don’t get yer tail in a bunch. We're movin." said Applejack, annoyed as one of the other perytons jabbed her as well, leading the group into the ''istra' building.
The building had several holes in the roof, but there was still plenty of shadow. On the opposite side, a tall throne could be made out and someone was sitting on top of it. It was too dark to see who it was, only the eyes could be made out. "Chieftain. We found these intruders." said the leader peryton bowing before the throne.
"And what were they doing in our jungle?" said a deep voice that sounded slightly female. "We know not...but they were led by one of the creatures that attacked you." said the peryton. "So they are allied with the enemy and you brought to me for their punishment," said the voice.
"Yes, o'pink one." said the peryton leader reverently, the girls looking gobsmacked at those words. "Bring them forward, and turn on the lights," said the voice. There was a 'fwoomph' as adjacent torches were lit. The torchlight revealed that the sitter on the throne was wearing a clock made of tropical bird feathers, several bead necklaces, a scary tiki mask, and an oddly familiar farmer's hat.
As the ponies were pushed forward, they could hear the leader breathing in deeply, making them nervous. Eventually, the leader reached up and pulled off the mask with a gasp. "I can't breathe with this thing," said Pinkie.
The girls stared again for a second before Twilight found her voice and said in shock "Pinkie? You're the perytons leader?"
"Pinkie? I am Queen Pinkatika and don't you forget it," said 'Pinkie', "Now how about you tell me why I shouldn't punish you for trespassing?"
Rainbow Dash flew up and swooped down to glare in Pinkies face, Pinkies 'guards' not trying to stop her. "Pinkie...its us...and why are you wearing that old hearts warming prop?" she said, prodding Pinkies hat...and being flipped into the wall by Pinkie.
"Wow, I'm stronger than I thought," said Pinkie, looking at her hoof. "Uh, listen...Pinkatika, we're your friends," said Twilight, "I think you're just a little confused about who you are right now."
Pinkie/Pinkatika glared at Twilight. Something about the unicorn was familiar, though she couldn't put her hoof on it
"How can I trust you?" said Pinkie, "For all I know, you could be fibbing."
Rarity stepped forward at that "Pinkie, darling. You're one of our best friends. "Oh yeah, prove it," demanded Pinkatika. Rainbow Dash had gotten back up by now "Hey...don’t you remember the cool pranks you and me pull in Ponyville?" she said, a little dizzily from the blow earlier.
Pinkatika looked thoughtful before saying, "Not really." Fluttershy walked forward and said "I remember when I was ill with the pony-pox and you helped look after the animals at my cottage..." she said.
"That kinda rings a bell..." said Pinkatika. Twilight said carefully "We're your friends...I dunno how you lost your memory...but I know a spell to help get it back...if you'll trust me." The perytons snorted. "A spell?" snapped one, "We will not allow you to curse our chieftain."
"Hold it...what if they're right?" said Pinkie, holding up a hoof to stop the perytons. "Anyways, there's no such thing as a curse," said Twilight. "But what about-" started Fluttershy before Applejack put a hoof over her mouth.
Twilight slowly walked up to the throne, her horn lighting up as she prepared the memory spell. Sadly, it appeared that whatever curse of timing that followed Matt around had finally declared Twilight and co fair game as well as an explosion was heard just outside.
...
A few minutes earlier...
After a long trek through the jungle fraught with bug bits and tripping over roots, Matt and his 'guide' finally made it to the peryton village.
"Ok...here's the plan...I'm your prisoner...until we get inside...they you leave me to find the girls...I leave with them...everyone lives...ok?" he explained to the peryton with him. just out of sight of the gate. "How do I know you won't go on a murderous rampage?" said the peryton.
"That depends how intact my friends are." said Matt, with a grin The peryton backed away from Matt and said, "I don't trust you at all." "Let me put it this way...this is the hard plan...the easy plan involves me blowing things sky high." Matt said, nastily.
The peryton gulped and said, "Well, er, I guess I should show you where your friends will be taken." "Ok...remember...I’m a prisoner..." said Matt, before pushing the peryton into view of the guards. "Er, right," said the peryton. The guards looked at Matt's 'guide' and said, "What do we have here?" Matt's 'guide' couldn't speak, looking like he was caught between a pair of headlights.
Matt kicked his 'guard' covertly. "Er, I managed to catch one of the...intruders," said Matt's 'guide'. "And I need to take him to the chieftain for his due punishment," said the 'guide'. "Yes...wait, what?" said Matt.
"The chieftain is already taking care of the other intruders," said one of the peryton guards, "He'll have to wait."
"What?" said Matt, shocked. "It appears this one seems to be slow of thought," said one guard. "We should make it simple then," said the other guard before saying to Matt, "You...stay...chieftain...busy...wait...your...turn."
Matt glared before saying "I...not...tied up." before revealing his untied hands and banging the guards heads together.
"What are you doing?" demanded the peryton that led Matt here. "Cutting through red tape," said Matt as he took out his blaster.
"You said you wouldn;t blow anything up." yelled the peryton, angrily. Matt thought for a second "Well, thats the problem. I only lie to people that I don’t like...and I really don’t like you guys so you're smeg out of luck, buddy...KNOCK KNOCK!" he said, yelling the last part as he blasted a hole in the wall next to the gate.
"Are you crazy?!" snapped the peryton. "Why yes, yes I am," said Matt with a creepy smile, "Thanks for noticing."
One of the guards on the other side had managed to get his marbles to regroup and was charging Matt, only to be sent head over tail by a stunner blast from matts blaster. "WAIT YOUR TURN! There's plenty of time for vengeance if my friends are not healthy." he said, manically cheerful.
Matt's guide would have rushed in to stop Matt, but seeing how berserk he was, it would probably be better to stay out of his way.
The mental argument through this followed the lines of: 'I'm just a trainee warrior...and this creature has the mental fuse of a manticore sitting on a thorn plant. I should go guard a food hut as far away from him as possible...not cause I am frightened at all......yes, lets go with that.'
The peryton flew off as the rest of the guards started throwing themselves at the psychotic Matt. If the guards had not been so intent on slicing Matt into bits/getting concussions and tazer shocks from his weapons then they might have noticed that he was only hitting anyone who tried to attack him...but as a brain doesn’t work well when hit repeatedly with a branch or electrocuted, this wasn't occurring to them.
Matt finally reached the most promising building when a larger peryton came out. "Let me guess...you're gonna stop me." said Matt, tauntingly.
The peryton snorted and said, "That's right. You're not getting past me." "Funny, they all said the same thing," said Matt, pointing at the piles of stunned perytons behind him.
The peryton glared before tackling Matt to the ground. "You will pay for...NNNGH!" he glowered before going cross-eyed with pain as Matt used the only retaliation available to someone wearing combat boots. "Yeah, I think you're the one who's paying right now," said Matt. "Thats....not....honourable...or fair." squeaked the poor peryton as Matt walked inside.
...
Matt walked into the door, firing sideways into the guards waiting either side of the door. "They always hide there." he muttered as the perytons twitched into semi-consciousness from the tazer blasts before seeing the girls. "Hey...you found her." he called cheerfully.
'Pinkie' gave Matt an angry look before yelling, "Guards, seize him!" "What guards?" said Matt conversationally before realising who had gave that order. "Hey...!" he added annoyed.
The few guards left flew at Matt, only him to easily stun them. "Say girls, mind explaining what's up with Pinkie?" asked Matt. "Uh, I think she might have some amnesia," said Twilight.
"Oh, that...I know how to fix that...now where can I get a mallet?" said Matt, cheerfully, adding the second half to himself. "I don't think Matt's right in the head himself either," said Applejack.
Matt shook his head a little to calm down "So how bad is this amnesia?" he said, walking towards Pinkie. "It must be if she forgot me...my trainer once said I was tragically unforgettable...his eye was twitching at the time though."
"It looks like I'll have to take care of this intruder myself," said Pinkie, "However, I'll give you one last chance to surrender."
Matt's eyes narrowed at that. It was worth noting that while sane Matt would never pick a fight with his friends, the last few weeks had been straining on his sanity...and the perytons had pushed him over the edge...as a result he was also less then cautious...otherwise Pinkie's steely look would have set off his internal alarms.
"Yeah, there's no way I'm surrendering," said Matt, "Especially to a pink pony. And definitely not to a pink pony dressed up like that." "Ok, you asked for it," said Pinkie before winding up her foreleg for a punch. "Oh please...what you're gonna do with..." began Matt.
...
The peryton captain had finally recovered and had gotten some of his men together. "Ok...when it comes out...we all jump him at once." he said, coughing when his voice was still high pitched.
"Didn't we already try that?" asked one peryton. "Not all of us together," said the captain. There was a distant 'thrak' noise from inside and the creature emerged again...at a flat trajectory that took him through the side of one of the guard huts. "Do we still jump him?" asked one of the trainee warriors.
"Er, he still might get up, we better secure him," said the captain.
...
'Pinkie' however had rounded on the girls. "I knew I couldn’t trust you...its all secrets and lies with you ponies." she said, angrily as several guard perytons peered through the hole Matts rapid exit had made. "Pinkie, we can explain," said Rarity before glancing at where Matt went, "Well, most of it." Pinkie glared and yelled "I'm not this 'Pinkie'. I am Pinkatika, leader of the Peryons...Guards...lock them up."
...
When Matt woke up, the first thing he felt was the pain in his ribcage. "Ouch," he said, "Did someone catch the license plate of that freighter?"
The second thing he noticed was the ceiling. It didn’t take long for two and two to equal 4. "I'm locked up, aren’t I." he said, out loud to himself.
"Yer darn right we're locked up," said Applejack's voice. "Ah...smeg." muttered Matt, sitting up to see the girls, minus Pinkie in seperate cells. "Fancy running into you lot in here." he said, unable to resist a smartass comment.
"Well, we had an audience with Queen Pinkatika, as she's currently calling herself," said Rarity, "Twilight was about to restore her memories when a certain hooligan ruined it."
Rainbow Dash glared and said “You said you were good at stuff like this. What kinda job did you have?" she said angrily, before derping as Matt said promptly "Demolitions."
"Oh good," said Rarity sarcastically, "We have a delicate diplomatic dilemma to resolve and one of our associates is a glorified wrecking ball."
"I would grace that with a appropriately snarky response...but my ribs hurt too much. When did Pinkie get a punch like a railgun?" said Matt, with a groan.
"Well, she is wearing the Primoris Corona of the Earth ponies and you know how it amplifies the power of the pony who wears it if it matches her race," said Twilight.
"We may not be able to cast spells or change the weather, but we Earth ponies ain't something ta sneeze at," said Applejack, "Sure, them unicorns and pegasi have their horns and wings, but only we Earth ponies can work the land to make enough food for everyone."
Matt looked at Applejack "It doesn’t work like....wait. I forgot what sort of planet I was on for a second there. Makes about as much sense as everything else today. Carry on." he said.
"Well, since we Earth ponies work the land to make food, it only makes sense that fancy hat of Pinkie's makes her superstrong," said Applejack, "It probably gives her a lot of stamina too."
Matt shrugged "Basic physical boosting. Fun for the whole family." he said. "But why does she not remember us?" asked Fluttershy, "And why would she think she's the Queen of the Perytons?"
"She took a nasty tumble when darius’s boys blew the bridge. The hat musta made sure she landed intact...but that didn’t stop the bump scrambling her marbles." said Matt.
"So all we have to do is get Twilight to zap her memories back," said Rainbow Dash. "Not like she's going to let me near her now," said Twilight.
"Yeah...and I'm guessing the guards won’t give me back my gear if I ask them." said Matt, noting his empty holster.
Just then, Fluttershy's ears perked up and she looked around. "Does anyone hear that humming?" she asked. Matt looked up, listening before hearing a steady 'thrumming' noise. "What is that?" he muttered, getting up to look out and falling back at the sight of a hovering camera drone. "YAH...I hate those things..." he yelped before a buzzing came from it...followed by a steady series of beeps.
"It's not going to shoot us, is it?" asked Fluttershy, hiding behind her cells bed.
Matt was looking around before shrugging, reaching out and pulling the drone in and starting to bang it against a wall. "Stop transmitting, you piece o...YOW! he growled, yelping as the drone electrocuted him and a voice began to speak from it.
"Lynch, you do turn up in the most unexpected places," said Darius' voice, "At least this place is one more appropriate for you."
"The same." said Matt. Darius’s voice could be heard chuckling. "And you're the ones harboring a fugitive." he retorted.
Rainbow Dash glared at the drone and said, "If you're the law where you come from, then being a fugitive probably is a good thing."
"Huh...Mr Lynch is unstable and dangerous...you should have tossed him out the first chance you had." said Darius's voice with disgust visible in his voice.
"He can be scary sometimes, but at least he's a lot kinder than you are," said Fluttershy.
"Doesn't Matter. You are just as guilty as he is...and the board of directors has told me to leave no witnesses...unless you could make it worth my time...say telling me where the other artifacts are." said Darius.
"So that you can abuse them? I think not," said Twilight. "Ok...I gave you the choice. Its not like you'll be a problem for much longer." said Darius, seemingly bored before the drone shut down.
"What does he mean we won't be a problem much longer?" asked Applejack. "I think that the perytons are the least of our worries now," said Matt.
He stood up before rattling the bars a bit. "We gotta get out of here. Can’t you just...poof us out of here, Twilight?" he said. Twilight concentrated and her glowed for a few seconds before it went out. "Uh oh," she said, "This cell is magic-proof. I can't do anything."
"Its never that easy. Well, we can at least warn them." said Matt gloomily before several peryton guards came in. "That was quick.” muttered Matt. "The time for your punishment has come," said one of the perytons.
"Not what I was envisioning." said Matt, as his cell was opened.
...
The group was marched to a different room of the building where the roof was a lot more open. The reason could be seen as there was a large bed of fiery coals in the middle of the room.
"We're gonna be sacrificed to a lava god, I just know it. Its Acheron V all over again." said Matt gloomily. "Lava god? What do you think we are, savages?" said one of the perytons, "You're going to be sacrificed." "Oh thank goodness," said Matt. "We're going to roast you and serve you for dinner," said the peryton.
Matts relieved smile fossilized at that. "You're gonna eat us." he said flatly. "Wait, aren't you vegetarians?" asked Fluttershy. A peryton smiled, showing sharp canine teeth. "Not all the time," said the peryton, "If we catch something big enough, we eat it."
"I coulda been a freighter pilot but noooooo, I had to go for adventure." muttered Matt. "But, but you can't just eat us," said Rarity, "It wouldn't be civilized at all."
"I don’t think they're listening." said Matt pointedly as Pinkie came into view. "Trespassers, you have invaded our sacred lands and inflicted destruction upon our village. So by my high and royal decree, your punishment is to be roasted over these coals until you're good enough to eat," said Pinkatika.
"Pinkie...this is insane, even for you." yelled Matt "Silence!" commanded Pinkatika, "Just for that little outburst, you'll be among the first to be roasted. Now who else should be cooked first?"
One of the Perytons poked Matt in the stomach, earning a slap across the back of the head "Bad mutant pony thing..." glared Matt. The peryton didn’t seem bothered, saying "O'great one. This one has plenty of meat on his bones...we'll only need one pony for the feast."
"Hey, I'm not that fat!" snapped Matt. "Hmm...well, that makes the choice a lot more tricky now," said Pinkatika, "Which pony should we have now?"
"I vote you need to miss a meal...this one." called out Matt
Rarity gave a slight distainful sniff and said, "Well, when it's my turn, I intend to show a lot more dignity than that." Then Pinkitika pointed at Rarity and said, "Ok, we roast her too."
Matt watched as Rarity immediately fell to her knees. wailing various things including the classic excuse of not being tasty. "I intend to show a little more dignity." muttered Matt to himself in a bad imitation voice. "Get them ready for the spit," said the peryton captain, "We want them properly and thoroughly roasted."
"But spittings rude..." gulped Matt before he was grabbed.
…
Not much time later, Matt and Rarity were both tied up to a long wooden pole and were being suspended over the fiery coals so that their backs were getting hot. "You know, I had a feeling Pinkie would get me into a situation like this at some point," said Matt in an overly calm tone. The rest of the girls were looking horrified. “You can’t do this...its...horrific." said Twilight, staring in shock at the Perytons.
"The chief has spoken. You will all pay the price for intruding on our lands," said the peryton captain. Matt said, as he was passing "Look...you kinda have a bigger problem coming to get you...can you stop spinning this? I'm trying to speak to the psycho stag."
"I need to be sure you're cooked evenly," said the peryton, "We wouldn't one side to be raw while the other's well-done." "I'd tell you to bite me but you'd take me literally." said Matt, dully. "Ya'll won't get a chance to eat 'em when dem other bad guys get here," said Applejack. "Yeah...E.G internal security don’t like witnesses...they cause paperwork." called out Matt. "They will stop at nothing to steal your chieftain's hat," said Rainbow Dash.
The perytons all stopped at that, except for one, causing Matt to growl in the background “You bring that pepper shaker any closer and so help me..." "Uh, I don't think they think the hat's that important," whispered Applejack to Rainbow Dash.
Matt thought for the second before calling out "Erm...would you believe me if I told you that you were about to be invaded by aliens?" "More invaders?" said one peryton. "Will the intrusions never end?" said another. "Yes...erm...they have lasers...lots of lasers." said Matt pathetically, having not expected them to even half believe him.
"What's a laser?" asked one peryton. "Sounds like a weapon," said another. "It is...it is...erm...for smegs sake, can someone untie me?" said Matt, losing his cool. "Hmm, we should prepare for more invaders. On the other hoof, it could be an attempt to misdirect our guards," said Pinkatika, "Hmm...oh, I know a way to take care of both. We'll just double the guards everywhere so we can be ready for either event."
"Pinkie...I swear to god...if this is another of your gags, I’m gonna throw you in the skyraids reactor." yelled Matt, angrily. "Oh shut up already," said a peryton before stuffing an apple into Matt's mouth.
...
The Perytons on the gate looked around, hearing some of the yelling from where the feast was being cooked. "I hope the others don’t complain as much...that apes giving me a headache." said one of the guards, gloomily. "I wonder how good he'll taste," said another peryton, "He certainly looks like a big meal."
"Yeah...you really think there's more like him out there? When he was ranting on about 'aliens'? What is an alien, come to that?" asked a third guard before stopping, noticing a red dot panning across the wood above their heads.
"I don't know. I think he was just, what are you looking at?" asked the second guard. "Look...what is that?" said the third guard, curiously as two more dots appeared. After a second two of the curiosities highlighted themselves on the chests of two of the guards. One of the guards scratched at the red dots. "Stupid bug," said the peryton, "Why can't I touch it?"
A second later, two blue beams lanced out of the treeline. striking the two guards exactly where the dots had been. The two perytons glowed brightly for a second before vanishing with a sizzling noise. The surviving guard jumped back in terror before seeing at least 2 dozen of the hairless apes coming out of the jungle, armoured up and accompanied by metallic....golems of some kind.
He turned to fly, forgetting fatally that there had been a third dot when another disintigrator blast hit him between the shoulderblades...
...
Darius, at the controls of his command exo-suit heard the afirmative as the sniper teams finished off the guard patrols. "Ok...Remember...for once, Lynch is NOT a priority. I want that artifact intact!” "Where are we supposed to find that hat?" asked one of the troopers. "That is what searching is for," snapped Darius, "Now spread out!"
"Yes...sir." came the sarcastic reply before the same voice said "Cobra 2...blow the gates." 'Cobra 2', one of the smaller MA-24 exo suits stomped forward before leveling its 30mm guns at the gate, its pilot saying jokingly "Knock knock." and firing.
The gates were torn apart like they were made from styrofoam. "Is it me, or does this seem a bit overkill?" asked one trooper. One of the other mercs on the channel said "Remember Echo team?" "Right, no holding back this time," said the trooper.
…
Back at the feast, the sound of two 30mm explosive shells 'opening' the gates had gotten one good thing for Matt...they'd stopped turning the spit...sadly they;d done this while he was on the bottom.
"Oh sure, now the attack starts," said Matt, "I swear, I get the worst timing." As if to confim that, an ember from the coals shot up and bounced off Matt's backside. "That...is...IT!!!! THIS IS THE WORST VACATION I’VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO BE ROPED INTO GOING ON!" yelled Matt, breaking the ropes holding him in sheer rage. However, he made the slight oversight of not changing his position before freeing himself and ended up landing on the fiery coal pit.
Most of the perytons had left the hall with Pinkie to do battle when the first explosion had been heard, meaning that nobody was around to stop Matt getting free...sadly that meant there was nobody to stop a exo gene trooper bursting in and seeing Matt hopping around, Twilight and Rarity trying to cast a water spell to put his t-shirt out.
"Alright Lynch, you're coming with me," said the trooper but stopped when Matt turned and gave him a look that screamed, 'Get away while you still can, wait, too late'. "I think I'm gonna call you Stress Relief," said Matt in a menacing tone before picking up a large stick. The trooper raised his rifle far too late, Matt knocking it out his grasp before grabbing the luckless trooper and making him headbutt the wall a few times, chanting manically "Stop hitting yourself."
"Isn't Matt hurting him too much?" asked Fluttershy. "Matt's been having a bad day," said Twilight, "I think he needs to unwind." Two more troopers ran in, one saying "Wilkins, whats taking..." before Matt grabbed the rifle off the floor and shot them, sending them rolling down into the hall. "WAIT YOUR TURN!” he screamed before seemingly coming back to planet sanity.
Matt turned to the girls and said, "Ok, Darius and co are here. I suggest you girls find Pinkatink or whatever she's calling herself and zap her memory back. Feel free to get rough if you have to." "What're you gonna do?" asked Rainbow. Matt shouldered the rifle "Do what I do best and be distracting." he said cheerfully before kicking open the doors to the outside "OH DARI-oh crap." he called, his retort becoming a swear when the two exo suits leveled their weapons at him.
Matt closed the doors and turned to Twilight, "Say, you wouldn't happen to know any super-enhancing spells or anything like that, would you?" A section of the wall, about basketball size, blew inwards and Matt added innocently "No reason." "Well, there might be one spell, but..." started Twilight. "I don't care, just do it!" yelled Matt.
A red beam lanced through the wall, cutting a large 'N' shape in in the wall, before one of the exo-suits stomped through the hole, its shoulder beam glowing from the cutter shot. "NOW! DO IT NOW!" yelled Matt. "Ok, here goes nothing," said Twilight before her horn started glowing and a beam of light hit Matt. Then Matt suddenly surged up in height until he was about 18 feet tall. He blinked and said, "That's...not quite what I had in mind."
The tinny voice of the pilot inside the suit said "What the fu-?" before Matt kicked the suit back out via the wall. "...of course, it still does the job." commented Matt as two more exo-suits stomped in and aimed at him. "Go on...best shot." said Matt, cockily before there was a flash of light as the spell wore off. "Erm...I was joking?" said Matt nervously as the two exo-suits readied guns.
"Uh, Twilight, think you can hit me with that spell again?" asked Matt. "I can't," said Twilight, "If I cast it on you too soon, something unpredictable could happen." The two suits were ready to fire when what looked like a bottle was tossed in before exploding in their faces in a cloud of blue smoke.
Applejack sniffed the air and said, "Hey, ain't that...poison joke?" This prompted the other ponies to quickly move backwards. Matt noticed that and, given his track record so far when he hadn’t paid attention to their caution, stepped back as well. The suits had turned and were firing out the hole at whoever had tossed the 'poison joke' grenade in. "Lets go before they decide to get back to us." he said. The ponies nodded before heading out another door.
…
The outside was a warzone, Darius's troops methodically moving through the town and shooting down any resistance. The perytons, to their credit, weren’t making it easy for their attackers either as several slumped troopers and peryton warriors attested too. Matt peered round a corner and ducked back as a exo-gene trooper was thrown back with a yell. "Either one of these deer has a really powerful kick, or that was Pinkie's work," said Matt.
He peered out to see Pinkie and a couple of perytons attacking a squad of Exo-Gene troopers before he did a double take as several laser blasts literally bounced off Pinkie. "Wow..." he said weakly before another shot parted his hair and he ducked back. "I found Pinkie." he said desperately. "Great, does she still have the Primoris Corona?" asked Twilight.
"You mean the wierd hat that let her kick a trained merc 30 feet and makes particle beams bounce off her?...Sure, she has it." said Matt, a little sarcastically. "Good, we can't let Darius take it," said Twilight. "But how are we supposed to make them go away?" asked Fluttershy. "The hard way, I suppose...I've never seen those sorta exo-suits they're using...must be something Exo-Gene cooked up." said Matt.
Speaking of which, Matt spotted an exo-suit in the process of being abandoned. Considering the dents in the front and its trajectory to a hole in the wall, it looked like the one Matt had kicked out. "Oh, Christmas time." he said to himself, peering out before running across the street to the abandoned suit...much to the puzzlement of the girls. "Whats chrismas?" asked Twilight, puzzled before they spotted Matts intention as he opened a hatch in the mech and climbed in.
A few seconds later, the exo-suit started up, but a lot of creaking could hear from the dented metal. Matts voice, with the same tinny accent as the last pilot said "Ok...now we can go get Pinkie."
...
The Primoris Corona gave Pinkatika great strength and invulnerability, but even she couldn't defend the village all by herself. Fortunately, her loyal subjects were ready and willing to aid her in her defense.
The perytons were doing their best, their sharp hooves and speed making them formidable in close quarters. Unfortunately, the Exo-Gene squads were professional in making sure that didn't happen.
Another laser blast winged a peryton warrior, knocking him into a wall as another squad of exo-gene troopers came into view, flanked by two more of the exo-suits and a much larger, bulkier version. "Chieftain, it looks like their leader has come," said one of the perytons by Pinkatika.
A squad of warriors charged out, galloping at the attackers. The leader mech seemed to order the others to step aside before aiming its arms at the attackers and firing the miniguns mounted there. Darius cut a huge swathe through the squad before turning to his men, "Keep the pressure on them. I'm expecting a big venison dinner tonight." He then marched off in another direction.
The smaller exo-suits and troopers began firing as Pinkies guards literally tried to drag her back. "See sense, those weapons are too much even for yo-WHOA!" said one, trying to pull her back, only for her to effortlessly drag him along as well. "Those raiders aren't destroying my village," said Pinkatika, "Not while I'm around."
Pinkie/Pinkatika immediately charged into the open and into the gunsights of the three Exo-Suits, two of them opening fire and causing several columns of dirt to shoot up from the explosive rounds. The third one seemed dented in the chest armor...and puzzled in the way it seemed to limp.
Pinkatika paused suddenly a series of odd sensations happened, "Back itch, ear flop, knee buckle?" she said before suddenly hopping backwards. On cue, the dented exo-suit seemed to finally work out its weapons, aiming the arms at the back of the first one and firing, blowing it apart. A voice said “Now this is what I’m talking about!" before firing at the second exo-suit and the troopers.
Pinkatika looked at the dented exo-suit with an odd expression. That was definitely the voice of the 'hooman' who she was going to have roasted. But why would he be helping her? And why does his excitement at blasting people sound so familiar?
The aformentioned mystery pilot seemed to have cracked as the exo-gene troopers ran for it. "HAHAHA...YEAH...LETS SEE YOU TRY AND BLAST ME NOW, EH?" it yelled. The remaining peryton defenders had also come out to watch...something about the clear insanity was strangely fascinating to watch.
Quite soon, nearly every trooper had hightailed it out of the village, with mainly the other exo-suits remaining. The exo-suit finally turned to face Pinkatika and the perytons, the other ponies from earlier peering out. Then Pinkie heard the voice of the other person she was going to roast, "You know, all that destructive madness is a really bad way to relieve stress. Matt ought to consider something more peaceful, like a trip to the spa."
The back of the exo-suit opened to reveal the hooman from earlier. He called out "Ok, Pinkie...are we going to cooperate with the nice people or do I have to use this to hold you down?...WHO SAID THAT?" Pinkatika stayed silent, having also heard the mutter of 'Good luck with that.' from one of the perytons
"Say, Matt, don't cha think it's a might early to be blowin' your victory horn?" called Applejack. "I don’t think so...these things are top of the line...you'd need a tank or a combat mech to-" began Matt before a wall at the far end was demolished as Darius's mech, with the regrouped squads, came into view.
"I think that guy's higher up on the line," said Rainbow Dash, pointing at Darius's mech. The mechs shoulder opened up suddenly, Matts eyes widening before he jumped out the mech. It was just in time too as two rockets shot out and blew his new 'toy' sky high. Matt went over to Twilight and said, "Uh, can you use that giant spell on me again yet?" Twilight looked at a little pocketwatch she had in her bag and said, "Not quite yet."
Darius's voice came from the mech "I don’t believe my luck...must be chrismas back home. Lynch AND one of the artifacts." "Uh, can we take five so I can arm myself?" asked Matt. A shot parted his hair almost too close to his scalp. "Ah, that's a no," said Matt. To his surprise, Pinkie strode past him with a stern look. "Erm...he has missiles." he tried to point out.
"I am the chief of this village. I must protect it from attackers," said Pinkie. "No you aren't, you work in a bakery!" snapped Matt. Matt glared as Pinkie ignored him and made a similar mistake to earlier, grabbing her tail to get her attention. "Now look..." was about as far as he got.
Matt hadn't thought that Pinkie's super strength would apply to her tail as well. Obviously, the poofy thing didn't seem dangerous at all to him. Of course, his opinion changed when he was slammed against the ground several times before being flicked into a wall.
"I am never going on holiday with you girls again." he moaned from where he had landed. Darius however was laughing inside his mech. "You? Hand over the artifact, powder puff." he said, readying his mechs miniguns. "This hat may only be worn by the worthy and I can easily see that you are definitely not worthy," said Pinkie. "Fine...have it your own way....shoot her." said Darius casually.
"Er, sir, haven't you noticed that-" started a trooper before Darius turned his gun towards him. "Either you shoot her or I shoot you," said Darius. The troopers didn’t need much more encouragement, all of them opening fire, even Darius joining in. Of course, the magic of the Primos Corona protected Pinkie from the hail of bullets, allowing her to keep walking forward.
Darius sighed, wincing as the pony got close enough to begin laying into his men. Pinkie had started punching and kicked the troopers within her reach. Her blows sent them soaring back, sometimes over the wall of the village. Darius, despite this was impressed until she got close to his mech. "Really?" he said before using the mech to kick her flying.
The hat may have made her invulnerable to physical damage, but that didn't mean she was any heavier than before. She was sent flying high into the air. "Wow...good air." muttered Matt, despite everything. Quite soon, another drawback of the hat became apparent as the rushing air from Pinkie's flight blew the hat off her head. Then she reached the peak of her ascent and started to plummet like a stone. "Uh oh." muttered Matt, his eyes following the trajectory. "CATCH THE PONY!" he yelled.
Several perytons took to the air, but Rainbow Dash had taken off before many of them could flap their wings. She streaked upwards to where Pinkie would fall through. Matt however was following something else, as the remaining troopers approached cautiously before reaching out and grabbing Pinkies hat. "Hey applejack...you reckon you could punt darius's robot?" he said before snatching her stetson off and replacing it with the artifact.
Applejack smirked as the hat glowed briefly and said, "Can a frog jump?" Matt turned to Twilight and said, "Think you can make her new hat look like her old hat for a few minutes?"
…
Darius turned his mech to see the orange pony heading straight for him. "Might as well calibrate." he muttered before opening fire, only for the pony to easily dodge every shot. Darius glared before trying to narrow his fire, but this pony was able to weave her way around his shots. "STAY STILL!" he yelled only to see the pony comply, right in front of him. Some 6th sense at that point supplied his imminent future. "Ah, crap." he managed.
Just as the pony was about to reach Darius, she spun around on her front hooves and used her back hooves to kick his exo-suit. Matt and the group watched as the mech went sailing back, despite the fact several walls got in the way before vanishing into the treeline. "Thats gotta be a record." muttered Matt as Rainbow Dash landed with the struggling Pinkie/Pinkatika. "Ok...back to todays second problem..." he said.
…
Pinkatika hadn't be very worried when she was thrown into the air. However, when she lost her hat, she got the distinct feeling that falling would be a lot worse. For Rainbow Dash however, it was almost a flashback to the best young fliers competition, when rarity had lost the wings Twilight had made for her. "C'mon, just a little more speed," she muttered as she zoomed towards Pinkie.
The sound of more weapon fire from below went unnoticed as Rainbow focussed on the pink pony plummeting for the ground until with a final swoop she managed to grab her. "Another perfect save," said Rainbow Dash proudly, "You can thank me later, Pinkie." "I’M NOT PINKIE!" yelled Pinkie, adding "Now let me...on second thoughts...never mind."
As Rainbow Dash was heading back to the ground, she watched a large mech sent flying sky high. "Wow, Applejack knows how to work your hat fast," said Rainbow Dash. As she landed, she could see the last of the exo-gene troops running for it, apparently the sight of a 3 ton machine being bucked into close orbit was bad for their morale, as well as Matt talking about ‘todays second problem’.
"Well, it looks like everything's taken care of," said Rainbow Dash before glancing around at all the destruction caused, "Except for the clean-up." Matt nodded before noticing the remaining warriors approaching "Uh oh...here come the cops again." Pinkie got up a little unsteadily. Pinkie was about to speak when Matt suddenly tackled her and wrapped her mane around her mouth. "ZAP HER! ZAP HER NOW!" yelled Matt.
Twilight quickly galloped forward before concentrating and touching her then glowing horn gently to Pinkies forehead. Matt waited a second before saying “I’m going to let go now...if you scream the word 'guards', I’ll stun you." Pinkie blinked and said, "Boy, have I been having the craziest day. I mean, seriously, I was going to have you guys roasted. Can you believe that?"
Matt said darkly "Yes, I can." before a peryton knocked him over. "You will pay for this attack..." began the peryton before Matt yelled "PINKIE...CALL EM OFF!" "Oh, right," said Pinkie before putting on an authoritive tone, "The Great Pinkatika commands you all to stop being mean to her friends."
The perytons stopped at that, the one holding Matt down stopping his hoof an inch from Matts neck. "What? I thought these guys were the feast?" said another, trying to get past a shield bubble Twilight had raised. "Sorry guys, I don't eat meat," said Pinkie, "How about we just throw a party instead?" The Perytons looked at each other, the one holding Matt looked down at him when matt pointed out "Hey...I’m less likely to shoot you at a party."
"What do you mean by...party?" asked one pertyon. "Uh, it's pretty much like a festival," said Pinkie. "...And the food rarely fights back." added Matt "Can you move your hoof of death please so I can swallow?"
"Yeah, there'll be decorations and games and cake," said Pinkie. "What is 'cake'?" asked a peryton. "Its that food that doesn’t fight back that I mentioned...unless its a splitter 'k'tari' cake." said Matt. The perytons considered this before one of the elder perytons said, "We shall try this 'cake', but only because you insist upon it." "Good...glad we're all in agreement...NOW GET OFF ME!!!!" Said Matt before yelling the last part.
"Too bad there ain't stuff to mix up some cake out here," said Applejack. Suddenly, the hat on her head started glowing. In a flash, several baking supplies appeared before her. "Well dip me caramel and call me a candy apple," said Applejack. Matt stared at the hat before sighing "I don’t want to know...lets get this over with."
...
Raya was not a happy zebra. At first he had considered it easy to simply drug this 'Aria' so he could get away...only to find out she didn't eat, drink...or even sleep. Of course, none of his staff wished to help him. The diamond dogs were too terrified of Aria to try to oppose her. The other zebras were scared, but they didn't like Raya that much either.
Of course, Aria was only one person and Raya knew a few back ways out...such as the one he was using at the moment. "Ok...simple...get to the dock...get a boat...hide in the griffon kingdom for a few years." he said to himself.
He was confident he'll be long gone before anyone noticed him...until he opened the door and found himself facing the six ponies, the human, and several perytons. The two groups just stared at each other for a second before Raya slammed the door and ran back down the corridor, said door blowing open a second later. Matt walked through the new hole with a worrying grin. "Oh, mr striiipy. I wanna discuss our bill." he called out.
Raya just bolted into the elevator and started rapidly pushing the 'close' button. A faint purple glow grabbed him unfortunately, pulling him back out. "I hate unicorns." muttered the luckless zebra. As Raya floated backwards, Matt said, "You know, as much as I'm tempted to throw this guy to the angry locals, I can't help but look at him in the air like that and think 'piñata'."
Twilight dropped Raya in front of Matt before saying "We should hand him over to the royal guard when we get back." Matt grumbled "Huh...I never get any fun." Raya was sweating like crazy. Being brought before Princess Celestia would be a terrible thing for him. After all, not only was he a wanted criminal back in Equestria, but his behavior with the princess's personal student would not look any better
On the other hoof, the less time he spent with the unstable hairless ape, the better. Matt must have noticed his worry as he said "Hold on...these perytons need a new place to stay...and Raya doesn't need this place now. Maybe we can convince him to let them use this place?" Raya blurted out "I’m not letting those sava...." before stopping as the accompanying perytons turned to glare in unison.
"Yeah, this place is a lot better than those old ruins," said Pinkie, "It has air conditioning, heat, soft beds, electricity, and a swimming pool." Raya managed to get a hold of himself. "Not a chance. This is still my property and I will not hand it over to you." he said calmly before Matt said "Does it still belong to you posthumously?", the girls all yelling "MATT!"
"I think we could arrange to have him still live here," said Rarity, "Provided he works for the perytons instead of against them." Raya seemed uncertain, only for Matt to say "Its either their solution...or mine."
"Sir, please try to be sensible," said Raya. "Sensible? I've been rudely kept out of your hotel, had to fight my way into it, then fight some mercenaries, fell down a trench, got insulted by perytons, nearly roasted by said pertyon when their then-wacko leader nearly punched me into next week, and then I had to defend said perytons from said mercenaries which involved being blasted several times. I am not in the least bit sensible right now," said Matt, manically with a nasty twitch appearing in his eye.
Raya gulped "I'd....be happy to have the perytons stay at the resort." he said weakly, gulping a bit. "Ah, ah, they're not just staying at the resort, they're running the resort," said Pinkie, "As in they're the new managers." Raya opened his mouth to protest before noticing Matts twitching eye again. "...that sounds perfectly fair." he said, worried.
The perytons didn't look so sure. "But we don't know anything about resorts," said one of them. "Oh, it's not that difficult," said Rarity, "I've read enough about hotels that I can give you a few pointers. And Twilight could lend you a few books that should help you get on your way." "...And I doubt any of the creatures in the jungle will be stu-be able to get past your warriors to attack the resort so you can lose the corny wall." said Matt cheerfully.
"And get rid of them mangy mutts," said Applejack, indicating the tied-up diamond dogs. Matt looked at the dogs. "Oh...I knew I forgot to untie something." he commented. "What about those other guys?" asked Rainbow Dash, pointing at the other zebras. Raya's associates backed up at that, one of them saying "We're....happy with the new management...but can we go?" said one of them.
Matt shrugged and said, "Sure, it's fine with me." The zebra's nodded at high speed and shot off in the direction of the docks at a speed that almost put Rainbow Dash to shame, Matt absently stepping on Raya's tail as he made to follow. "NOT you." he said. "That's right, you're the new bellhop," said Twilight.
"Good...so get bellhopping," said Matt, with an evil grin and holding up one of the bellhop hats from the other zebra's before adding just for Raya "Be careful...these guys REALLY love their BBQ's. Raya glared at Matt before putting on the hat and stomping off. "Ok, the bad guys are all beaten, let's party!" said Pinkie Pie.
…
<Log active>
Ok...the last couple of days have made me realise why Captain Leyton told me never to take a holiday...espetially the part about 'work finding me'. On the plus side, we got another of those wierd killer hat things and this time...no wait, something did explode...but nothing I owned exploded...yeah, that counts.
Still, at least this vacation is finally becoming relaxing. The perytons are definitely enjoying their new home and since the resort isn't so exclusive, I can finally enjoy its benefits. Aria's enjoying keeping the bellhop in line too..."
<Log paused>
...
Matt looked up "Hey...another drink here please." he called out. Raya glared, muttering something only to yelp as a small tazer blasted him from Aria "The customers always right." she said with amusement. "I don't deserve this level of degradation," grumbled Raya as he carried the tray over to Matt.
"The customer is always right...and has a blaster." commented Matt, taking a glass, before seeing Twilights glare "I'm joking....mostly."
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Nice running gag this chapter, very nice.