• Published 30th Jun 2013
  • 22,753 Views, 2,213 Comments

Whenever You Call - Onomonopia

  • ...

Engine Problems

What would you do?

If one day in your land, a being of insane power descended upon your world; and that being claimed to be there to help; yet even though he saved others, even though he is deemed a hero, you fear him. And why would you fear him? Because of his power. He can move mountains with the greatest of ease; move faster than you believed possible--bending reality in the process; and he can shoot intense beams of heat from his eyes, with the power to rain fire from the sky. But what you fear the most is that he is immortal. He cannot be stopped; cannot be hurt. While he is a hero and he does save the lives of the innocent, you still fear him, because you cannot stop him; because he is a god!
So I ask again, when you are faced with a being like that, what would you do?


In the vast reaches of space, far beyond where any human has gone before, is a galaxy that had greater beauty than any seen by mortal eyes. The cosmos mixes in perfect harmony, showing off a beauty that no human could possible create. The planets are aligned in a spectacular fashion, allowing the stars to shine their light upon them in a glorious way. The solar system was nearly identical to the one of the Milky Way, with eight planets and a single, yellow sun in the center of the system. One planet, the third from the sun, was a rich green with the bluest of oceans. It was around the size of earth and had an identical atmosphere. For thousands of years, this universe had remained the same. However, today, a new object had found its way into the solar system. A small rocket that only housed one pilot had come out of a 'jump' across the universe. It was small, silver, with a symbol placed on the front of the ship.

The symbol was a red “S.”

Inside the ship’s cockpit, a certain man was trying to figure out what was going wrong with his ship. He was a man with black hair and a normal face that had been recently shaven. If you were to see his face in the street, you probably wouldn't think that he was anything special. But then you would look at the outfit, an outfit that instills hope in some, and fear in others at the same time. He wore a blue body suit with red boots that was crafted with love from his mother from Earth. A cape as red as the dawn's early light was draped across his shoulders, covering his back. And then there was the chest--the symbol on his chest that could be recognized and feared all throughout the galaxy. A red “S” on a yellow background. It symbolized who he was.

He was Superman.

And he was stuck.

"Of all the times for the quantum jump drive to fail on me! It had to be in an unknown galaxy in the middle of 'nowhere' space," he fumed to himself, activating a system scan to find out what went wrong. It indicated something was up with the engines, not what he wanted to hear. He tried to use the computer to solve the problem, but he only seemed to make it worse. "I can save millions of lives, battle an evil tyrant in front of the world and manage to free them from his evil, but when it comes to this stuff, I'm a bit out of my league," he thought. Superman opened the glass cockpit and floated out into the vastness of space, opening the engine panel and starting to scan the motors for problems. Now a normal human would have exploded, imploded, burned, froze, suffocated or all of the above in the vacuum of space. But Superman was not a normal man. The heat and cold never touched him, just as the lack of oxygen wasn't even an inconvenience.

‘Alright, what's the damage?’ he thought to himself, turning on his x-ray vision. He looked around the engine, seeing that some of the components for the drive were cracked and shattered. Not even his heat vision would fix this problem. Now, while he could just take the ship and fly back to Earth, that would require him to fly across galaxies in hopes he was going the right way. It would be a lot easier for him to simply repair the ship and fly back to Earth with it repaired. Plus, Batman would never let him hear the end of it if he broke another ship.

‘I can't fix the ship by myself. I really should've packed extra parts. Alright, is there a planet around here where I can land?’ he muttered to himself, looking around the solar system. His eyes rested upon the green and blue planet that was similar to his adopted home.

‘That'll do for now. I hope there's some intelligent life on that planet, perhaps smart enough that they can help me with my ship.’ Superman gripped the bottom of the ship with both hands (after closing the canopy) and turned towards the planet. He inhaled (somehow) and with a burst of super speed, blasted himself off towards the planet. He reached the planet’s atmosphere and braced himself for re-entry (or was it entry, since it was his first time on this planet?). The friction of his body flying into the atmosphere set him and the ship on fire, but the ship was designed for this kind of stress and fire didn't hurt him. So within a minute, Superman broke through and floated above the blue/green planet, holding a chunk of burning metal in his hands. He checked to make sure the ship was in working condition before looking down at the planet below.

It took his breath away.

The planet was incredible to look at. The trees and grass were the purest green, without any of the brown or dull spots where human waste had destroyed it. He turned his gaze to the ocean to find that it also was crystal blue, with no pollution in it either. He increased his vision power to look deeper to find hundreds of undersea creatures that were completely untouched by trash or waste. Changing his gaze from the ocean, Superman looked toward the horizon, searching for signs of intelligent life. He was rewarded almost instantly, as his eyes set upon a massive white city with golden roofs. That was good enough for him, so he descended into a nearby forest and landed in the center of it. He gently placed the ship on the ground and looked around at the forest around him.

"This'll be a fine place to hide the ship until I manage to convince the locals to help me," he said out loud, breathing in the crisp, clean air. He couldn't believe that there was no pollution on this world. Had the locals here managed to find a way to eradicate pollution, and if they had, would they share their secrets with him? The Earth could definitely use the help. With one last look at the ship, Superman ascended into the skies at incredible speed, almost instantly higher than the clouds. He floated in the air for a second, before turning towards the city that he had seen and sped off towards it. He kept both arms outstretched as he flew, slicing through the air. Within a minute, he came to a stop above the city. He wasn't going to descend into the city just yet. He had learned from the last world that some species reacted badly to people like him. He noted that the sun was rising on the horizon, meaning that some of the individuals would be “up and at ‘em” soon. He seated himself in the air and waited.

"I wonder what they'll look like here? Gills, three eyes; maybe they'll be weird squid things? Ten bucks on the gills," he bet to himself. While he waited for the natives to awaken, he took in the view of the city. The first thing he noticed was that there were no cars or motorcycles, meaning that they either didn't use them or didn't have the technology for them. Either way, it didn't bode well for his ship. The doors to the houses were about four feet tall, meaning that this race was shorter than humans. And what was with all the carriages--did these natives rely on horse power? Superman turned his attention to the castle at the end of the city. A castle meant that there was some sort of monarchy here. So what kind of leaders did they have? Cruel and oppressive, or kind and fair?

The sound of a door being slammed brought his attention back to the city. He looked to where the sound of the door had come from and a most interesting sight met his eyes. A red horse with a blue mane and a wheel on its flank was walking down the streets all by itself. He raised an eyebrow in confusion, who would let a horse out by itself this early in the morning? He watched the horse walk down the street until it met another horse. What were these natives thinking, letting their horses out…?

"Well good morning, Mr. FancyPants," the red horse said to the other one. Superman's jaw dropped as he heard this.

"I am doing quite well, thank you for asking. How are you doing, my good chap?" the one called FancyPants asked with a gentlemen’s accent.

"Quite well. Isn't it a most beautiful day in fair Canterlot?" the other one replied. Superman narrowed his vision to get a better look at the horses and found to his surprise that they weren't regular horses. One of them (FancyPants) was actually a unicorn in a suit and the other seemed to be a Pegasus. A realization dawned on Superman and he started to scan the city with x-ray vision, confirming his suspicions. This planet was run by ponies. Ponies were the dominant species. Superman floated in place for a minute, letting the information sink in…and then he started to laugh.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed out loud to himself, not knowing why he was laughing. Maybe it was the sheer absurdity of the situation, the fact that PONIES were a dominant species on this planet or the fact that they spoke in accent and wore suits. He suppressed the mirth and wiped a tear from his eye, but he still had a giant smile on his face. He had been expecting some sort of terrifying, monstrous creatures that would be bent on his destruction, not ponies. Oh, when Batman heard about this! He went to look back at the city, when a sound from behind him got his attention. He turned around to look right into the eyes of a Pegasus. The Pegasus had flown up to where he was while he had been laughing, wanting to find out who was laughing. The two stared at each other for a moment, not sure of what to do. Superman was the first to speak.

"Hello there-"

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" the Pegasus screamed, tearing off across the sky. Superman raised an eyebrow at the reaction, but he laughed it off.

"Odd, most people at least get to know me before they run off screaming," he chuckled to himself. He flew away to a different spot in the city, planning to continue his observations. The natives have obviously never seen someone like him before, so asking them for help right now was out. Maybe he could find the parts somewhere, like in a warehouse or-

"Hhhheeeelllllppppp!" Superman was instantly alert. A faint cry for help had come from off in the distance. Superman aimed at the cry and rocketed across the sky towards the plea. He didn't know if these ponies would want his help or even needed it, but Martha and Jonathan Kent had raised their son to always help when he could. It didn't matter if they were human, ponies or anything else; Superman never ignored a cry for help. With a burst of speed, Superman flew towards those in danger.


Superman saw the fire before he reached the burning building. On the edge of an apple orchard was a burning barn next to a small house. Even though he was in rescue mode, he was glad that there was some place on this planet that reminded him of home. Having grown up on a farm, the plowed fields and trees reminded him of home. Superman quickly shook his head, getting back to the mission. He heard the screams coming from inside, but what he heard next is what interested him.

"I told you that we wouldn't get our cutie marks for being firefighters!" Judging by the pitch of the voice, the speaker was a child. The other two voices matched the pitch of the child, but what those two voices said made him stop in midair.

"Well we would have if you had used matches like I had wanted instead of the FLAMETHROWER!" Now THAT worried Superman. Who the heck let children around matches, let alone a flamethrower?

"Can the two of you quit arguing and get me DOWN!" a voice with a slight southern accent cried out. Superman had lingered long enough. Time to help. He landed in front of the burning farm and placed both his hands on the handles, before tearing the doors clean off the hinges.

Six frightened eyes inside of a burning barn is what greeted him.

Author's Note:

And just like I promised, here is the Superman story for all those who were waiting for it.