Dash and Twilight get The Munchies.

by Steventheman

Endgame

"Well, there ya go!" the kindly Southern woman said to Dash and Twilight as they jumped off the pickup truck. "I'll see you around!"
"What a nice lady!" Dash said.

The two mares looked around. In the sky above DC, they saw a pegasus mare, apparently being chased by a robot. A man was riding the robot.

"Woah. When did DC get this weird?"
"I don't know. But the Taco Bell is so close! Let's go!"

The two mares began running down a street.

---

"The White House!" Chrysalis shouted. "Let's kick some presidential ass!"
"SECONDED!" Metal Wolf replied.
"They ain't gonna know what hit them. It's gonna be like a goddamn tornado of fuck you." Bro Strider said, readying his sword.

Team Queen Metal Strider landed on the lawn. In front of them was the President. He smirked. "So you're finally here."
"IT'S TIME TO RESTORE AMERICAN IDEALS AND AMERICAN FREEDOM."
The President laughed. "You fool! Even if you kill me, you can never kill the Patriots."
Metal Wolf gasped. "THE PATRIOTS!?"
"Yo, this is some fucked-up conspiracy bullshit." Chrysalis said. Bro nodded in agreement.
"You are too late." the President said. "I have REX!"

The ground in front of the President shifted, revealing the massive shape of Metal Gear REX. The President jumped into it, and REX woke up.

"THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE END!"
"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!"
"TRUSTING IN THE SANITY AND RESTRAINT OF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC IS NOT AN OPTION." REX said. "GO HOME AND DIE!"

REX started glowing. A blue stream of data appeared above it's head. Eventually, it stopped. "MY FRIENDS. ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE TO THE ALL NEW SKYNET GEAR REX!"
"You fool!" Bro cried. "You'll create a World of Ruin! You'll do what the Skaia Incident would've failed to do! You will create a Second Sun!"
"AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS, AND THE PATRIOTS ENDURE, THEN AMERICA WILL HAVE WON!"
"HOW COULD YOU?! YOU'RE NO PRESIDENT! YOU'RE JUST A MADMAN!" Metal Wolf shouted. Weapons of all different sizes erupted from it's back. "I WILL STOP YOU."

Skynet Gear REX laughed. Two Liberty Prime mechs emerged from the ground behind it.

"INITIATING DIRECTIVE 7395 - DESTROY ALL COMMUNISTS." both said in unison. They looked at Queen Chrysalis.
"This is fucked. This is so fucked." Chrysalis shouted. "I'm not a Communist! My society is consisted of a hive of workers and a Queen! That's not my political standpoint, that's my fucking biology!"
"DEMOCRACY IS TRUTH. COMMUNISM IS DEATH."
"You're not even listening to me, are you?"

---

Dash and Twilight looked at the White House. "How'd we end up here?!" Twilight asked. "Isn't the Taco Bell like, the other side of the White House?"
"I don't know." Dash replied. She heard an explosion. "What was that?!"

Dash looked at the White House, only to see a human with a sword attack a giant robot, while two other giant robots were firing blue lasers into the air at a black pegasus-shaped pony.

"Oh shit." Dash said. She took off towards the endangered pegasus.

Queen Chrysalis looked to her left, only to see a cyan shape dive into her and grab her. She turned around only to see her old enemy. None other the Element of Loyalty, Flight Lieutenant Rainbow Dash.

"You!" Chrysalis spat. "What are you doing?"
"Chrysalis!?" Dash shouted. She let the changeling go. "What are you doing!?"
"I asked first, pussymunch!"
"Hey, what I did in Flight School is between me and Gilda!" Dash said, looking at the two Liberty Prime mechs.
"Yeah, whatever. Why did you just save me?"
"I mistook you for a mare that isn't a bastard." Dash said. "Easy mistake to make."
"Listen. What past is past. We got bigger problems!" the Queen said, pointing at the President.
"No kidding." Dash replied. "This isn't over, bitch."

Bro Strider jumped up onto the Skynet Gear REX. Dash looked down at him. "Holy shit! Bro!"
Bro Strider looked up. "We could always use more hands...or hooves. Whatever."

Dash flew upwards. She pointed herself towards one of the Liberty Primes. She closed her eyes, and began a Rainboom descent. Dash felt her hoof begin to burn. She closed her eyes and prepared for the impact. She felt something tear. Then something else.

Dash opened her eyes, to see the mech tear apart in a glorious rainbow.

Bro lowered his sword. "Holy shit that's cool."
Twilight stopped short of the battle. "That is so fucking awesome!"

Even Queen Chrysalis was amazed.

Dash landed into the ground, exhausted. The President turned around. "A PEGASUS?! ARE THE EQUESTRIANS GETTING INVOLVED?!" he snorted. "I NEVER LIKED YOUR CIVILIZATION. ONCE I DEFEAT YOU TRAITORS, EQUESTRIA IS MY NEWEST STATE."

Dash turned around. She looked at the President.

"No one. Threatens. My. Country." she snarled. She took off towards Skynet Gear REX. She readied her hind legs into a kick. She smacked the mech on the face, and bounced off.

Metal Wolf readied his weapons and began firing missiles at the second Liberty Prime. Within moments, the robot was scrap.

"IT IS TOO LATE!" Skynet Gear REX shouted. "THE WORLD IS MINE. I AM IMMORTAL!"

There was a jet engine whine. Multiple explosions ripped the Skynet Gear REX apart. Bro Strider jumped from the explosion as the jet flew by. It was an RAF Tornado.

---

The Prime Minister tuned the microphone and video camera. He beamed himself to the US Government, minus the President.

"Main screen turn on." said a technical expert.
"It's you. What is the matter, Prime Minister? The President is currently dealing with a defense emergency."
"How are you, gentlemen?" the Prime Minister smirked.

The US bunker shook. The generals and politicians looked up in confusion.

"All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction."
"What you say?!" General Ripper shouted.
"You have no chance to survive. Make your time." the Prime Minister laughed.

The transmission ended. The Government looked at each other.

"General!" one of the politicians said worriedly.
"...Take off every F-15." Ripper commanded. He brought up a command screen. "You know what you doing." the General clicked some icons. "Move F-15."

The screen showed a squadron of F-15 Strike Eagles taking off.

"For Great Justice!"

---

Dash trotted up to Bro Strider, a grin on her face. "H-h-hello." she stuttered. She had no idea why. "I'm Rainbow Dash."
"Hey." Bro said.
"So...you were working with Holey Moley over there?" Dash said, pointing at Chrysalis.
"Yeah. Me and Chrissy go way back."
"She invaded Canterlot once."
"Really? Shit, I need to go on Wikipedia sometime."
"Yeah. I defeated her. Well, I didn't...It was my friend's brother and his wife."

Metal Wolf looked in the sky. "MY FIGHT CONTINUES. IT APPEARS THE BRITISH HAVE USED THE OPPOTUNITY TO ATTEMPT TO RETAKE AMERICA." Metal Wolf clenched his fist. "I MUST GO NOW. MY COUNTRY NEEDS ME!" Metal Wolf took off into the sky, grabbing a Tornado and riding it into the distance.

Queen Chrysalis looked at Twilight. The unicorn looked at her with a expression of major annoyance.
"Look, I was kinda invading your country at the time. No hard feelings?" Chrysalis said.
"I think watching you get blasted the fuck off kinda constituted my forgiveness." Twilight said, still wary. "I'm still not forgiving you for hurting Princess Celestia though."
"Fair enough. I'm not forgiving your parents for spawning you and your brother."
"Glad to see we could reach an understanding. Fuck you, Queen Chrysalis." Twilight said, shaking Chrysalis' hoof.
"Fuck you, Twilight Sparkle." the Queen said, shaking Twilight's hoof.

Bro, Chrysalis, Dash and Twilight formed a circle.

"Team Sparkle Rainbow Strider Queen! Let's fucking rock and fucking roll!" all said in unison, before running at the invading British.

---

Dash and Twilight looked at the Taco Bell. Their eyes were wide with amazement. Dash put her hoof forward to push the door open.

There was a jet engine whine, then a whistling sound. There was a large explosion, leaving Dash and Twilight standing at the doors of a destroyed Taco Bell.

"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" both shouted at once.

Author's Note:

Annnd that's the end of that mindfuck.

Next project will come soon.

Comments

[Steventheman]

2200203

Symptoms will subside in a few years. Numbness in the brain is normal. Consult a mortician of symptoms persist or you suddenly turn into a mecha pony with a sword. Actually, don't for the latter. If that happens, go fight crime.

[Steventheman]

Oh god, I'm coming down off all the sugar. What the fuck have I wrote?

[Rachel Rayne]

that...was...beautiful.
MOAR!

[Steventheman]

2200397

Don't worry, I got more sugar-high Hell stories left in me.

[Steventheman]

3494562

I would qualify everything I've ever written as complete and total bull. Every time I get serious, I end up thinking "No no no, it's too dark. Let's add clown suits and giant robots."