A Day at the Quest Hub

by Braininthejar

Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Three days later...

The cellar was covered in shadows, the sunlight coming through the entrance the only source of illumination. Carrot Top cautiously descended the steps. She stooped low to examine a thin line hidden in the shadow of the last step. A faint sound of a bell was heard when she nudged it.

I was right... someone did step on it.

Down in the cellar, Carrot Top walked to the far shelf, where bags of different foodstuffs were stored. All the while her ears kept moving around, searching for unfamiliar sounds. She briefly stopped to look into the corner where the carrots were stored in large wooden boxes. Seeing nothing there, she approached the shelf, taking a packet of flour.

Without warning, the farmpony spun on the spot, throwing the packet in the air and bucking it before it landed. The cellar filled with white powder.

“There you are, thief!” shouted Carrot Top, pointing at a very silly looking, scruffy human, now clearly outlined by the flour sticking to his dark clothes.

The man stared at the fuming farmpony, then towards the exit. Carrot Top couldn’t help but notice the box of carrots he had strapped to his back. “What now?” he asked.

“Well, it just so happens we have some guards on the premises,” answered Carrot Top. “You will confess to your crime and then tell them who you were stealing my carrots for.”

“I stole them for myself. I was hungry,” said the rogue with a smile.

Carrot Top’s jaw clenched. “Then there must be a bunch of hungry thieves around, because I have been losing lots of carrots and only carrots for the last few days. You’re working for Screed and Legassi, admit it!”

The human hesitated. Slowly, he started to take the box off his back. “Well, if you put it that way...” Then he threw the box at Carrot and made a run for it. The farmpony picked herself from the ground, shaking her head to get rid of circling stars and spitting out a pair of carrot that ended in her mouth. She already knew she wasn’t fast enough to catch the running human.

“Help! A thief!” she shouted.

The sound of running feet outside was interrupted by a shout “Halt, evildoer!” and a sharp impact.
Hastily putting the carrots back into the box, Carrot Top walked outside. In the middle of the farm, there was one of the pegasi guards, standing over the trampled body of the thief. There was already a small circle of onlookers forming around it including, to Carrot’s distaste, the colts from Diamond Tiara’s lemonade stand.

“You... killed him,” said Carrot, looking down on the body. “You were supposed to capture him.”

The guard smiled sheepishly. “I tried to. But he was like 40 levels below me. It was very hard to hit him gently enough.” He nudged the body with his leg. “And now I’m stuck with paperwork. I hope I can put it under ‘resisting arrest.’”

“So now we cannot get his testimony...” Carrot thought aloud while examining the corpse. She was starting to feel queasy. Her ears perked when she got a sudden idea. “Those maps everypony carries record all the tasks given. Perhaps we can check his.”

As if to spite her, the dead rogue crumbled to dust just as the mare reached for his satchel. The farmpony stared in confusion at the bleached bones that were left. “Ugh... what just happened?”

The guardpony looked up from the notebook where he was already writing a report. “He returned to life at the nearest graveyard. He is still insignificant, so he won’t be weakened. With some luck, we might be able to capture him when he tries to rob you again.”

“Can’t you just go look for him now?” asked Carrot. “You know how he looks like and he is already guilty of one burglary.”

“I’m afraid not, ma'am,” answered the pegasus. “First, we are all stuck here on guard duty in case any Horde adventurers come close to the farm. More importantly, the suspect has died, so we can no longer prosecute him.”

A moment of stunned silence followed.

“But… he is alive again, isn’t he? He might be back again any moment,” said Carrot Top in disbelief.

“Well… yes,” answered the guard, scratching the back of his neck with his hoof. “You see, ma’am, we still have to follow the law… and frankly…”

“The whole ‘coming back from the dead’ thing has thrown the entire legal system out of whack!” interrupted his colleague from the cloud above. “The criminal law, the law of succession… nothing works as it should. The princesses have appointed some lawyers to straighten it all up, but with all the exceptions, like death knights, they haven’t even figured out how to legally define ‘dead’ yet.”

“So… you cannot arrest anyone if they die?” asked Carrot Top. The guard frowned.

“Pretty much. Good thing we don’t really get that many criminals in Canterlot area. Mostly some foreign troublemakers. The castle dungeon is empty save for one or two guys who are afraid to kill themselves in case it IS their fate to die that day. Unless something changes soon…”

He was interrupted by the sound of bells ringing. Carrot Top looked towards her improvised alarm installation and then along the wire towards the cellar door, where a blurred bipedal shape was in the middle of making a run for it.

“A thief! Stop!” she shouted.

“Halt, evildoer!”

*splat*

“Will you stop doing that?”

“Ugh… sorry, my bad.”

***

Carrot Top entered the town, the cart with the morning delivery behind her. She had considered turning the delivery into a quest, but in the end she didn’t trust random ponies to do something so important. Actually, what will I do if someone tries to steal my cakes straight from the cart? she suddenly thought. It’s not like I have any fighting skills to speak of. She shuddered at the memory of her last fight. She would have died, again, if not for the three ponies escorting her to Zecora.

The early hour made the town rather quiet, at least compared to the usual bustle. Few adventurers were early birds. The few ponies and people she could see in the streets seemed to have just returned from whatever night adventures they had taken part in. One of them was standing next to the goblins’ stand, exchanging some goods.

Carrot Top tensed. She recognised that man. He was one of the rogues she had seen visit the stand before. Was he also among the ones breaking into her cellar? She began trotting towards the two, but as the masked human saw her approach, he bid a quick farewell to the goblin shopkeeper and disappeared into thin air.

The goblin (which Carrot Top decided must have been Legassi; she still had a bit of trouble telling them apart) smiled as the cart stopped in front of the counter. “Ah, miss Carrot Top. What can I do for you on this fine morning?”

Carrot Top stared at him. “Well, you could start by explaining who that person was.” She gestured her hoof in the direction the rogue had stood before he disappeared.

“A customer,” answered Legassi with a wide grin. “Surprisingly, we have customers here.”

The farmpony suppressed a growl. “This one looked suspiciously like the thieves that keep trying to steal my carrots.”

The goblin made a theatrical frown. “Carrots? Why would anyone steal carrots? They are pretty cheap. Now, if someone were to steal your cakes…” He stepped aside and looked at the cart behind Carrot Top. “How many are there? Ten packages of four each? That makes forty cakes. Now, if someone stole those, that would be terrible. But carrots? Why would anyone bother?”

“Well, for a start, they are an ingredient for the cakes,” said Carrot Top, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I was just about to ask where you get yours.” She stepped forward, putting her head over the counter into the goblin’s personal space. He didn’t seem the least intimidated.

“We import them from Stormwind,” he answered with a smile. “They might not be as good as the Equestrian ones, but they are cheaper than yours.”

The statement earned him a raised eyebrow.”Cheaper than mine? I don’t remember you asking to buy any,” said the farmpony. “And how much cheaper would they have to be to make up for transportation costs?”

Now it was Legassi’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “What transportation costs? Have you seen any carts coming all the way from the human lands?”

Carrot Top stood in silence for a moment, trying to understand what he just said. Was he insulting her? Then her eyes flashed with sudden understanding. “The blimps. You’re using Alliance-funded transportation available to adventurers. And the inexperienced ones will shovel manure for a handful of coppers and a good word if you call it a quest. You’re using your customers as errand boys.”

Legassi chuckled. “Oh, I’m sure you do too, miss. But don’t say that aloud, some of them might hear you.” He turned around, scanning the street with wary eyes.

Carrot Top almost snickered herself when she remembered she was supposed to be angry. “That’s all well and good, but I’m still getting robbed. By your customers. I’ve heard how you do business, from your own mouths mostly. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t buy some extra vegetables if your ‘customers’ were willing to sell some. And is it a coincidence that all those humans bringing deliveries to you seem to be common thieves?”

Legassi stared at the mare in stunned silence. It took a moment before he gave any reaction - a tip of his ear started twitching, then the corner of his mouth. Finally he spoke with deliberate slowness “So, that would make me… a carrot fence?” He managed to keep a straight face for a few more seconds before he erupted in loud guffaws, banging his fist on the counter.

Carrot Top reared, slamming her front hooves on top of the stand. “This. Is. Serious! I’m being robbed here.”

“Now, now…” said the goblin, wiping a tear of laughter from his eye. “It’s not like it’s my problem, miss. Unless you want to keep shouting that in front of the customers. Then, it’s malicious slander.”

“It’s not slander if it’s true,” growled Carrot Top.

“It’s not true, unless you have a proof,” smiled Legassi.

“You’re despicable…” Carrot Top pressed so hard on the counter, it seemed almost ready to break.

The goblin shrugged. “You’re the one to talk.”

“What!?”

“Will you two keep it quiet?” asked Screed, emerging from his tent. “I don’t work till second shift, was hoping to get some more sleep.” He looked from the fuming farmpony to Legassi and back. “What he is saying, miss, is that we have done business with ponies before. That’s how we got this here machine after all. Let me tell you, you ponies may not be as bold as goblins with your investments, but you are every bit as opportunistic. If you found a gullible or easily persuaded customer, you’d talk her out of her horseshoes, wouldn’t you?”

Carrot Top actually took a step back at that. Was it really how she was? Then her expression hardened again. “We do not steal,” she said slowly.

Screed shrugged. “Do we? Oh, and speaking of business opportunities, do you think you could sell us some of these cakes?”

Carrot Top blinked. “Are you serious?”

“Well, yes. I see you have a full cart of cakes here. With the customers avoiding your friend’s establishment like the plague, so to speak, I don’t think she’ll be able to sell all that. We, on the other hand, sold out just after lunch yesterday. We could use some extra supplies today. And it would be better for you too. With the prices of those, you don’t need to sell many to keep the business going, but one should diversify their sources of income.”

“And you really expect me to to pick you over my friend?” hissed Carrot Top “After what you did? You were wrong, we are nothing like you. We have standards.”

Screed shook his head. “Your loss, miss. That’s no standards. That’s mixing personal feelings with your job. That’s bad for business.”

Carrot Top was already pulling the cart away, heading towards the inn. Behind her she could hear the two goblins’ voices.

“If you change your mind, you know where to find us!”

“Told you she wouldn’t agree to that.”

“She would have if you hadn’t riled her up first! Will you ever learn to watch your tongue?”

“Look who’s talking…”

***

Carrot Top entered through the back door and started unloading the cakes. She caught a glimpse of Berry Punch, who welcomed her with a nod and went back to work. Apparently, despite Screed’s statement there were some customers having breakfast at the inn.

“It was my first time in Shattrath, so like everyone I got a little bit lost. Good thing I could fly, so I could take a look from above…” said a loud voice in the main room. Carrot Top recognised it as Cloud Kicker’s.

She unloaded the last cake and closed the door, then went to the front of the inn. There was a single party of four sitting there, with Berry Punch watching them over the counter. Carrot Top slumped next to her.“I’ve brought the cakes,” she said.

Berry Punch took a deep breath. “Thank you. Unfortunately, I’ll have to reduce the order from tomorrow. Lost half my customers to that mess. They pop in with the hearthstone and then run straight out through the front door. And it would be even worse if Blossomforth hadn’t taken the blame in front of everypony.” She pointed to the table where Blossomforth was sitting along with Cloud Kicker and some other pony adventurers. They waved to Carrot Top and she nodded in return, turning back to Berry Punch just as Cloud Kicker returned to her story.

“She has been bringing her party here for meals,” continued the barmare “but that’s only a couple extra customers a day. And I know where all the others go. If this continues, Screed and Legassi will be able to build an inn of their own. If they also get a hearthstone licence, I might be out of business completely.”
Carrot Top’s eyes grew wide. “Surely it isn’t that bad…”

Berry Punch gave her a half smile. “Well, I petitioned to the princesses. The palace did not acknowledge their fault, they claimed that their mages did all they could to contain the chaos inside the gardens. Still, they promised to contact me if there is anything they need done around Ponyville; they will station an officer in here, so any adventurers willing to perform tasks for them will have to come here. But I don’t know when that can happen. And all the goblins need is another ‘accident’ like that.”

Meanwhile, Cloud Kicker’s story was reaching the punchline. “So, after talking to the owner, I walk into the common bedroom of the inn to catch some sleep and what do I see? There is a dwarf and a pair of dreanai girls sitting on the bed, wearing nothing but their guild tabards! I guess they weren’t expecting more guests at that hour. Sadly, I never learned what it was all about… Hey, Carrot Top! Come here and have a drink with us!”

“Just a moment,” responded Carrot before turning back to Berry. “That was an accident. They didn’t cause it.”

“No, but they sure made a good use of it.” Berry Punch sighed. “They have been using it in all their advertisements for the last three days, except for the leaflets the Crusaders are giving out. And if they want to cause something smaller, like a food poisoning, how can I defend from it?”

“Would they go that low?” asked Carrot and immediately facehoofed. “Of course they would. And they have a lot of people to do it for them. It’s only a matter of time before they pull something like that. I’ll have to guard… everything.”

As she was talking, Blossomforth excused herself from Cloud Kicker’s table and sat at the counter. “Hey, Carrot. It doesn’t look good, does it?”

Carrot Top nodded. “No, it doesn’t. And how are you holding?”

“Well, going through lots of paperwork recently. The goblins actually did sue me for damages. And so did a couple of local shopkeepers.”

“I though they could no longer sue you after you died?” said Carrot Top with surprise.

“Well, yes and no. This is a civil law lawsuit. They acknowledged that I died, but since I admitted fault, they want to sue me as my own heir. I don’t think they will win in court, but I can’t just leave it be.” She turned to Berry Punch. “Do you think you can manage to get back on track?”

“We were just discussing it,” said Berry Punch. “We are thinking the goblins will make another move to finish my inn off. With the rogues they employ, it will be easy to arrange something that will ruin my reputation and let them take over all my customers.”
Blossomforth frowned. “Are you sure? I have dealt with goblins before and many of them are scumbags… but this?”

“They wanted to buy my cakes today,” said Carrot Top “Advised me to ‘diversify’ my source of income.” Then her eyes widened. “If they sabotage your business, they will ruin my reputation too.”

“So, you can either join them or go out of business with me?” asked Berry Punch. She poured herself a cup of grape juice and emptied it with a single swig.

“Are you absolutely sure they’re going to do it?” asked Blossomforth, visibly uncomfortable. “I will do all I can do to help, but I want to be sure we’re not jumping to conclusions.”

“They will,” answered Carrot Top. “I have seen enough since they arrived. And I have talked to them; they don’t even see anything wrong about what they do. This is how they do business.” She took a deep breath. “Berry, if anything happens, I’m standing with you on this. We will make it through this mess and do successful business together. And if they want to cheat us out of the fruits of our hard work… we’ll beat them at their own game.”

Silence fell at the declaration. For a moment nopony spoke, neither at the counter nor at the table. With some discomfort, Carrot Top realised that she was standing on her chair with one hoof in the air. Finally, it was Cloud Kicker that spoke. “What exactly are you planning?”

Carrot Top slumped down, her frame visibly shrinking. “I have no idea.”

“Well then, we’ll need to do some brainstorming, won’t we?” said Blossomforth, smiling at her friends.

***

4 hours later…

“I’ve got it!” shouted Carrot Top. Blossomforth and Berry Punch jerked awake from the nap they had dropped into after running out of ideas an hour before. The farmpony turned to the priestess first.

“You’re an engineer, aren’t you?”

Blossomforth nodded. “What do you have in mind?”

Carrot Top just beamed at her. Then she turned towards Berry Punch. “If Screed and Legassi really are so greedy, we’ll give them something they won’t be able to resist.” Her expression turned serious as she looked at the barmare. “This will be risky though, and you will have to put your business on the line. Will you trust me that far?”

Berry Punch grinned at her. “My business is already on the line. Tell me what you have in mind.”

Author's Note:

The anectode Cloud Kicker tells is absolutely true. It happened to me during my first play through Outlands. Sadly, I was playing a Forsaken back then and unable to speak their language, so I never learned what it was about.

Comments

[Psykosis]

Ooh, looking forward to what the girls have planned.

[Zervziel]

Soooo....seven weeks have passed. Any progress?

[Braininthejar]

3518854 My creative spirit is currently stuck writing a Sombra short story, which, due to being strongly connected to another work yet unpublished, will only be understandable to a total of 4 people (the other story's editing team)

Inspiration is a cruel mistress

I should have it finished in two days or so and then I'm back to this.

[Capn_Chryssalid]

Bloody goblins. Flim and Flam certainly didn't leave the best impression on them of equestrian society.
The ongoing discussion in-verse about the curious legality of the constant resurrections in WoW was especially interesting, though. Also: damn rogues! As a clothie, I will never forget the horror of dealing with rogues in vanilla. Never forget; never forgive.

No other fic has made me much care for Carrot Top, you know, but this one has. With how in over her head she constantly is, trying to keep sane and live a normal life with all the madness that's around her now, I can really sympathize.

[Phazon]

The goblin made a theatrical frown. “Carrots? Why would anyone steal carrots? They are pretty cheap. Now, if someone were to steal your cakes…” He stepped aside and looked at the cart behind Carrot Top. “How many are there? Ten packages of four each? That makes forty cakes. Now, if someone stole those, that would be terrible. But carrots? Why would anyone bother?”

Of all the possible places to find that particular Lex Luthor reference.

[Seraphem]

See, what the goblins fail to grasp, is that points have a whole herd dynamic going on, need with one of them, you need with their entire group. And it's not always just one guild of them.