Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
Carrot Top turned around and swung her hoof. It hit the empty spot on the wooden nightstand. The noise didn’t stop. The farmer spent a couple moments feeling in the darkness before her mind awoke enough to remember what she was doing.
No alarm clock… it fell down and got broken yesterday… it’s the rooster.
She rolled out of bed and onto her hooves, then peered out through the window. “Awake, awake, you can stop now,” she said in a stage whisper.
There was a sound of shifting feathers as the aged bird went back to sleep. Carrot Top closed the window, turned around and slowly walked towards the bathroom.
***
Two hours later she was on her way to the town centre, a cart of cakes behind her. The main square seemed busier than usual, with a small crowd already forming in front of the goblins’ stand. This Carrot expected; the smell of baked goods could be felt from afar. What she didn’t expect was a pair of pegasi guards standing on either side of the counter.
Turning her cart, the mare trotted towards the pegasus on the left. “Good day, sir. May I know what is going on here?”
The stallion looked at her with impassive expression. “We have been asked to provide additional security. With the approaching baking duel creating some… tension, the owner was concerned that somepo… someone could try to sabotage his invention.”
“Buy or make way, miss,” said Legassi from behind the counter. “We’re having an early crowd here today.”
“Oh really?” asked Carrot Top with a voice dripping with sarcasm, making a visible effort not to notice the long line in front of the store. “You’ve found a new way to attract customers?”
“Nothing but finest quality, miss,” replied Legassi between serving customers. “With the new improvements we made to the machine, our cakes are now the best in town. I think everyone will agree with that before the contest even starts.”
“Sure they will,” grumbled Carrot Top, backing up before turning her cart to make the delivery to Berry’s.
***
“So, is everything ready?” asked Berry as she unpacked the wares. “You might as well leave them in the cart. Nopony’s even looked inside today, except for Cloud and her party.”
“Well, I had to bake them anyway. Otherwise it’d look suspicious,” responded Carrot Top. “And yes, we’re ready. I invited all of my new friends.”
Berry put the last box on the table, then slumped onto the ground. “So… that’s it? Win or lose now?”
Carrot Top nuzzled her comfortingly. “Relax, Berry. We will win. Greed and foul play will be punished and you will get your customers back.” She walked around her and slapped a hoof on her back. “And now get up and get ready to look your best! We have a show to prepare!”
***
The town square was full of people and ponies. Adventurers seemed to have flocked to the town just to see the event while the locals came with their families. Carrot Top felt a pang of guilt as she saw the children in the crowd.
If it ever gets out what really happened today, I will have some explaining to do. Oh well, it’s far too late to back out now.
In the middle of the square, between the inn and the goblin’s store, there was a wooden podium. Mayor Mare was standing there, dressed in an elaborate white robe, accompanied by a group of officials; there was a human mage, a dwarven warrior, and, to Carrot’s surprise, a tauren wearing a heavy leather mantle covered with pieces of carved wood.
Must be an ambassador of some sort or something… and who is that?
A group of about a dozen goblins entered the square. They had grey and green flags and two of them carried poles with a banner between them. A mixed group of adventurers followed them with similar flags.
“You didn’t think they’d have no support of their own, did you?” asked a voice behind Carrot Top. It was Blossomforth, this time dressed in her engineer’s gear rather than her elaborate priestess robes. “The contest may be decided by the judges, but in matters like this… You know, taste is a matter of… well, taste. It’s not clear-cut. That means the mood in the audience can have some sway over the verdict.”
“Not taking any chances, are they?” said Carrot Top rolling her eyes.
“It’s not like we’ve done any different,” smiled Blossomforth. “Our supporters just blend in better.”
Mayor Mare chose that moment to start the competition. She cleared her throat loudly and when that didn’t get any attention, she reared and stomped her front hooves on the podium.
“Fillies and…” she started and looked over the audience again. “I mean, ladies and gentlemen. I welcome you all to the first Ponyville bake-off! Are the contestants ready?”
Berry Punch and Screed entered the podium from opposite sides, staring each other down like a pair of Appleloosa duelists.
“She’s trying to make it sound like a friendly contest,” whispered Carrot Top as she walked to her place on Berry’s side of the podium, the mayor continuing her speech.
“She has always tried to keep things friendly,” answered Blossomforth. “How else would she have kept a place like Ponyville working, with all the foreigners here in addition to the three tribes? Ok, just focus and do your job. I will keep an eye for our cue to act.” She smiled and tapped the farmpony on the back, then turned her full attention to the goblins’ machine.
“Well then,” said Mayor Mare loudly, turning from the judges she had been introducing back toward the audience. “With the preparations finished, it is time to begin the bake-off!” She looked at the two contestants. “The game begins now. Two batches of cakes will be judged. Bring us the best food you can and may the odds be ever in your favour!”
***
“Aaaaaand… ready,” breathed Carrot Top onto the door of the oven. She pulled the door open and turned around to wrap a piece of cloth around her front hooves before gently pulling at the edges of the tray to take the cakes out. The smell of pastries filled the kitchen.
“Take these outside while I load the second batch,” said Berry Punch over the table where four filled cake pans were waiting their turn.
Carrot Top finished taking the cakes out of the pans and cutting them before loading everything into a small cart to take outside. She emerged from the inn to find the audience watching the podium, where an unknown goblin was just finishing a speech.
“... and the lesson of the story is never to trust foreign cheese.”
There were some chuckles from the audience. Carrot Top raised an eyebrow. “What was that?”
“A stand up comedy routine,” answered Blossomforth emerging from the crowd. “The mayor needed something to keep everyone from getting bored while we baked and lo and behold, a goblin comedian just happened to show up when she started looking.”
Carrot Top clenched her teeth. “I have a feeling they have more experience in this stuff.”
“You think so?” sneered Blossomforth. “They also baked more than you did. It wasn’t a part of my design - their machine is better at doing large batches.”
It was then Carrot Top noticed a stack of empty plates on the counter of the goblins’ stand. “They already finished?”
“Just as I told you, increased efficiency. And they had more to give to the audience, too.”
Carrot Top shook her head. “So, they will be even faster with the second batch. By the time ours is ready, most of the people here will be cheering for them and the judges will already be full.”
“We should be finished before that happens,” said Blossomforth, turning to look at the clock tower. “Now take those cakes and try to make a good impression.”
Carrot Top suddenly remembered that she had a cart full of cakes in front of her. Quickly she pushed towards the podium, the crowd parting as they saw her. She loaded the first tray onto her back and started ascending the stair.
What if we fail? she thought as she unloaded the cakes and presented them to the judges. All is prepared, but if they found out and fixed everything, they can really win the contest. Berry will lose the inn and Screed will cut me off. I’ll lose my best buyer and a friend…
Mayor Mare was talking loudly next to her, but Carrot Top tuned her out, her attention divided between worrying herself sick and presenting her pastries in the proper manner. After bowing to every judge in turn she descended the podium and started dividing the rest of the cakes among the audience.
No, we spent whole night planning this and then worked for days on the details. We made plans A, B and C. It will not fail.
She wanted to go back to the kitchen, but then saw something small flutter over one of the rooftops. Smirking, she turned towards the clock tower.
It’s almost time.
Turning around, she turned around and took position next to Blossomforth.
***
They didn’t have to wait long. After ten or so minutes Blossomforth nudged Carrot Top and pointed towards the goblins’ machine. The moving parts seemed to slow down and there was less smoke coming out of it. Screed and Legassi both walked in front of the oven and watched it intently before running into their tent and coming back with a pair of wands. The two sticks glowed green as they directed their magic into the machine.
Blossomforth smiled. “And that would be the three-phase thaumic converter glitching into absorbing mode and leeching energy from the machine. I think that’s my cue.”
She walked towards the podium, walking up onto it before anyone could stop her. “May I have your attention please!?” she said loudly.
“What do you want, miss Blossomforth?” asked Mayor Mare. “Is there something amiss?”
Blossomforth stepped aside turning so that she could keep eye contact with the mayor while still being clearly audible to everyone around. “As you know, I was recently robbed. A prototype oven meant for this competition was stolen from my house!”
Mayor Mare sighed deeply. “I’m well aware of that. You accused Mr. Screed of engineering the burglary, but failed to prove your accusations. He has already filed several complaints about you slandering his business.”
“As I will again, I’m afraid,” said Screed climbing onto the podium from the other side. “Such an underhanded and unjustified attack on me and in the middle of a competition that will decide the fate of my business, no less!” He turned towards the judges. “I’m sorry, noble sirs, that you have to bear witness to this outrage. It looks like this mare just likes a big audience.”
“Do you have any new proofs for your claim, miss Blossomforth?” asked Mayor Mare. “If not, I will have to ask you to stop disrupting the competition.”
Blossomforth smiled. “Yes, in fact. I will prove that the oven mr Screed is using was stolen from me.”
Screed stepped forward, almost going face to snout with her. “You lie, missy. There is nothing in that oven that was built by ponies! Nothing but the finest goblin craftsmanship!”
“Oh, you don’t have to teach me about craftsmanship.” said Blossomforth, moving to meet him. “I’ve learned goblin engineering and from better goblins than you are!” She then stepped back and took a deep breath. “I invoke the Noblegarden egg clause!”
The entire square fell silent at the dramatic declaration, the silence broken only by the soft hum of the machine and a slapping sound when Legassi used a broom to swat away a stray fruit bat sniffing around the oven.
Mayor mare was the first to speak. “Noblegarden egg clause? And what is that?”
The dwarf official next to her stepped forward. “It’s when an engineer hides some sort of secret inside his machine, like the painted eggs during Noblegarden celebration. It is used to prove ownership of designs, when there is a conflict between inventors.”
“I see.” said Mayor Mare. “But surely you cannot expect us to stop Mr. Screed’s machine in the middle of the competition to look inside it?”
“That won’t be necessary,” said Blossomforth. “He is already having technical difficulties, ones that I can explain and I’m sure he cannot.”
She turned towards the oven that was now making strange noises. Legassi had put the broom away and was now fiddling with the controls.
“The machine seems to be running low on power, doesn’t it?” asked Blossomforth. “Do you think you can explain why?”
Screed closed his eyes, thinking. “It started using up more power than we had anticipated… we fed it more magic and it didn’t seem to help much…” Screed smiled. “It’s the three-phase thaumic converter. It’s not designed for prolonged use, so if it gets as much work as we gave it today, it sometimes get’s stuck and starts accumulating magic instead of converting it. An amateur might blow himself up by feeding more power into the device without checking, but since we know what’s going on, we can feed it some power and then open and close the flow past the converter in rapid succession to let the difference in potentials unstuck it. Which is what my partner here is in the process of doing.”
Mayor Mare stared at him, visibly confused at the stream of technobabble. She turned towards the dwarf, who seemed to be thinking hard. “Is he right, sir?” she asked.
“I’m not sure,” answered the dwarf. “I’ve never heard of gnome-made thaumic converters having this problem. The rest of the explanation seems perfectly logical, though. Mr Screed shows full understanding of his machine here.”
“You didn’t even have a thaumic converter,” hissed Blossomforth. “A friend of mine tried to buy one from you just a couple days ago. You said it would take lots of looking to gather all the needed materials.”
“Yup” answered Cloud Kicker, entering the podium to stand beside Blossomforth. “Blossom here was in the middle of building her oven and she sent me to get some parts. You didn’t have the converter thingy so I had to pull a lot of favours to get one in time.”
Screed’s ears perked up. “Oh yes, I remember you. You were the one that gave me the idea to use it. It took me too a lot of effort to get it in time. Isn’t that right, cousin?” he called towards the stand. One of the flag-waving goblins nodded his head. “We had to overpay twice for it to get it for you. Remember to pay me back for it.”
Carrot Top swallowed loudly. The audience was silent, just turning their heads from one speaker to another, as if watching a game of tennis. It was clear that Blossomforth and Cloud Kicker were improvising, which meant plan B had already fallen apart.
They instantly figured out what was wrong and how to fix it… no, they knew all along, she realised. The converter doesn’t jam unless sabotaged. They wouldn’t know how to fix it unless they allowed it…They must have found the timer Blossom put in the converter. Grr, she said they’d not dare put it apart without having a replacement in store... that means… They planned on Blossom stepping up right now! They were baiting her, pretending to be worried!
“Actually,” said Screed, “I recall seeing you again, just after we finished making adjustments to the oven. You were a part of that guard patrol she brought into our store first thing in the morning.”
Cloud Kicker took an instinctive step back before catching herself. “I’m sure you’re mistaken.”
Screed stepped forward, grinning triumphantly, “Oh, no, I’m not. I never forget a customer’s face, especially one that gets a laugh at my expense!”
Blossomforth turned to glare daggers at Cloud Kicker, who seemed to shrink a bit as she smiled sheepishly.
“In fact…” continued Screed, “You were the one that stuck her snout inside my oven, to make sure the parts bore no trademark of hers. And isn’t it oh so convenient for you that this little mishap happened right in the middle of the contest where my entire business is at stake?”
He turned to look at the audience, who collectively gasped. Blossomforth’s coat seemed to drain of colour, despite already being white. She knew what it meant; he had told a good story. It no longer mattered if all the details fell into place as long as the listeners were mesmerized - everyone loved a good story and he didn’t even need to prove her guilt, just get everyone on his side to win the contest.
Mayor Mare cleared her throat loudly. “This is a very serious accusation. As far as I know, miss Cloud Kicker is not a member of the town guard. If a sabotage attempt is proven, I might have to declare it…”
“One more question!” shouted Carrot Top, pushing past her two friends onto the podium. “What sound does the oven make?”
There was a moment of confusion as everyone stared at her.
“What do you mean?” asked Screed. He then heard something behind him and turned to look at his machine in surprise - there were a dozen fruit bats flapping around it now, with Legassi trying in vain to get rid of them.
“What sound does the oven make?” repeated Carrot Top. “Our oven didn’t just bake. It also used wubs to make the cakes softer, that’s the secret behind the better taste. You can’t hear most of the sound, much of it is too high or too low to hear, but it’s there. So, what is the sound ‘your’ oven makes?”
Screed looked around angrily. “Bats? It can’t be! We used the oven since yesterday and there weren’t any!”
“Oh, that’s because there aren’t any in town usually,” smiled Carrot Top. “But just today we made a large order of Big Macintosh’ apples to be delivered to the inn. Those were harvested from their side of the orchard. They must have followed the smell.”
Screed growled angrily, swinging his hand at a fruitbat that flew past his face. “It’s a trick! One of you must be controlling those creatures!” He turned and looked up at the tauren judge.
The bull-headed druid moved towards the growing swarm, his eyes squinted, inhaling slowly and deeply. “Indeed, it seems that the bats are being controlled,” he said in a slow, low voice. Screed’s expression turned into a wild grin, but before he could say anything, the tauren continued “but by the looks of it, it is by the machine itself.”
“And the answer is…” Carrot Top smiled brightly “fruitbat mating call.”
More and more bats appeared over the nearby rooftops, the crowd falling into chaos as some of the local ponies started to panic while curious adventurers pressed closer to get a better look.
Screed stared at the unfolding scene: “What are they doing to my mobile factory?!” he shouted, waving his fists. Then he saw exactly what they were trying to do and his face turned a deep shade of purple.
In the corner of her eye Carrot Top saw one of the locals, a tan mare with brown mane and milk bottle cutie mark, slapping her hoof across her colt’s eyes.
Cloud Kicker beamed towards Legassi. “I told you that’s what it does! Looks like you guys got totally…” at this point Blossomforth groaned loudly and stuffed a piece of cake into her open mouth.
“You… tampered with my oven!” roared Screed over the sound of flapping wings, walking face to face with Carrot Top. “It wasn’t supposed to do that!”
“That would be too hard,” answered the farm mare, “It takes lots of work to tune the wub generator. That’s why it was a ‘prototype’ oven. It wasn’t ready for use yet. Blossom was still working on it.”
“Bullshit!” shouted Screed, visibly on the verge of violence. “There was nothing about it in the notes!”
Carrot Top said nothing, just looking at him in silence, her smile frozen on her muzzle. Gradually, as if in slow motion, Screed’s face caught up with his brain as it caught up with his mouth. Then his ears drooped.
Mayor Mare stared at him in mild shock. The judges, with amusement. He kept moving back, his face becoming a rictus grin… then he turned around and leapt straight into the cloud of bats and towards the machine. “Legassi! We’re leaving!”
“On it!” the other goblin was running out of the tent with a large bag he swung around and threw onto the vehicle. Then he jumped on, pulling a couple of levers just as Screed got to the steering wheel. The mobile factory lurched and then burst forward, spreading a cloud of dirt as the pegs that had been keeping it secure were torn out of the ground. Several guards tried to reach it, but got stuck in the crowd for a few precious seconds as the machine built up speed, a huge swarm of fruitbats trailing behind it.
The square was left a mess, confused citizens and adventurers walking around the scattered remains of the goblin equipment. The rest of the goblins stayed with the crowd, though their flags and banners were now conspicuously absent. Mayor Mare looked around the square, then down the paved street where the goblins’ vehicle had disappeared, then at the judges and finally at Berry Punch who had walked out of her inn in the middle of the confusion and was now standing in front of the podium with a satisfied smile.
“Considering the circumstances, I declare Berry Punch Inn the winner by default!” said the mayor in her best official tone. To Carrot Top’s surprise, the remaining members of the audience started cheering, the humanoids clapping and pumping their fists while ponies stomped in their usual manner.
A couple pegasi guards returned to the square, landing in front of the podium. “The culprits have left the town,” said one of them.
“You’re faster than them.” said Cloud Kicker. “Why didn’t you keep chasing them?”
The guard sighed. “Sorry, Cloud. Outside of town is not our jurisdiction.”
Cloud Kicker, Carrot Top, Berry Punch and Blossomforth facehoofed synchronically. The officials just shrugged.
Then Blossomforth blinked, her head turning towards the road. “Wait… the oven was still on when Screed and Legassi left. Did they ever manage to finish unjamming the thaumic converter?”
There was a loud whine audible over the forest outside the town, lowering rapidly in pitch. All four pegasi leapt into the air to see over the roofs, just in time to get a view of the bat swarm scattering over the trees. Then there was a loud bang and a mushroom cloud of smoke rose over the treeline.
Cloud Kicker turned slowly, staring at Blossomforth. “Blossom… you weren’t intending to let that go off in the middle of the town?”
Blossomforth returned the stare. “Of course not. If they hadn’t ran away it would have taken seconds to fix. They’d just have to stop the oven and disconnect the piece from the circuit.”
The pegasi guard behind her relaxed, descending with her as the whole group returned to the ground. “Well, that’s a relief to know. I’d hate to have to arrest you now for bringing danger to the public. Though I’d like to for once be able to arrest someone. With all this mess you’d think we would be able to at least prove complicity or something. I've been told that those two hired some foreigners to do their dirty work..."
Ixyourmom got achievement [ Batmare Rises ] !
Slowly, all heads in the square turned in the same direction, all eyes staring at a human rogue, who was just about to leave the scene. He smiled, waved and tried to disappear. Then Pinkie Pie dumped a bag of flour on his head.
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Very cool stuff! Bravo and does this mean we can't look forward to more?
...I'm sure that colt has seen worse.
The references!
And I thought there might be a little tease of a problem, but I'm glad to see the lighthearted tone remained throughout. Just as it should be.
And I'm so glad to have inspired this, truly so. Like I said before, even if the game fails to give me the buzz it used to, reading something like this reminds me of what I most loved about it.