Everypony in town knows -of- Derpy, but how many really know her? A story examining the heart and soul of the mother mailmare as a strange revelation forces her to redefine her understanding of friends, family, and what qualifies as normal.
Warning: this story may contain material not of interest to some readers, love and tolerance is advised.
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It was a cute story. Not my cup of tea but you have done a very good job. I was drawn in with the first few paragraphs enough so that I was not bothered by the topic.
1988400
Thank you so much!! That means a ton, honest!
You know how I feel already.
So far it seems good ^^
My mind.
It is full of endless wat.
But it was a well-written wat-filling experience, so I'm not sure how I feel about this.
i still don't think i even though not one bit
This story really really hit home for me. So many things I could relate to in it, it was truly amazing. I'm not ashamed to say you actually had me in tears my good man.
Now for a little bit of Criticism
There were a couple places where you should have put periods instead of commas but we all make mistakes 
I'm not a stickler for formatting like other ponies but sometimes Dialogue was a little hard to follow! All in all though dude this was really really good. It touched on some very serious things and I commend you for your bravery on writing this story I really do,
Very cute story, even though it’s not really my cup of tea, you mixed in enough humor and true reactions due to personalities to keep me interested though. I do have to ask though, do you plan to do a sequel?
2007628
Hey, thanks a ton, i'm really happy you liked even if the subject matter's not your thing. <3 I was really, really hoping i would be able to appeal to people outside and inside this interest alike.
As for a sequel, i'm not opposed to it and if i can get inspired i think i will. I write as ideas come to me, sometimes it takes a while to latch onto something that really speaks to me. When i do though, you can be sure i'll get to work on it ^_^
2007436
Thanks so much! Hearing things like that really makes me happy, i put a lot into this and posted it honestly expecting a nasty backlash more than anything. It's really heartwarming to see my fears appear to be so unfounded <3
As for grammar and dialogue, i know i tend to write a little oddly at times =P As i get ideas i guess they kind of just flow out onto the page, and sometimes i don't slow down enough because i really see the scene clearly in my head and i forget to fill in some of the blanks. I always want to find a balance between setting the pace i want in the narrative and making sure everything is clear and properly descriptive before i move on, sometimes i fall too far to one side or the other though ^^;; I'll try to remember to slow it down a little next time and get some more sentence breaks in there.
2007037
It's totally okay to have a bit of a O_o reaction to this kind of story if it's not your thing, no worries. Thanks a lot for reading and commenting all the same, that you enjoyed it in spite of it not being your interest means a lot to me!
I want MOAR!
I don't care if it is complete MOAR!
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Most people put all their replies in a single post, rather than spam their own story.
Just a thought.
Despite the big length of this fic I enjoyed it with all my heart. I really don't think there needs to be more.
Very good, very cute. Sequel perhaps?
My heart! Ugh, I can't take it. This was painfully sweet and heart-wrenching. To say I liked it would be a crime. I loved every moment of it. Great work, Sunnypuff.
This was a great read. Well done!
2009463
Thanks a bunch!! Makes me really happy to hear that!
2011538
It's not entirely out of the question, if not a direct sequel involving this little family then something tangentially related that takes place in the same universe. If i do the next piece might be something more lighthearted and cute before i try tackling another more lengthy idea, but at the moment there's not a lot floating around in my head inspiration-wise. Once something hits though, i'll get on it ^^
2012525
Nyaaaaaah!! ^///^
2016436
Thank yoooou! ^_^
I'm amazed more people didn't have heart attacks from this. Now I can't get the idea of writing an adult foal story of my own out of my head...
By the way, The Conflicted Writer led me here.
I will be honest with you, the general topic isn't really my cup of tea going into this. But...wow....I'm impressed. This fanfic is really well done! I don't understand why people just see the topic and instantly dislike it. What makes me different than other outsiders is that I came here with an open mind. And I have to say was it worth it. The emotion that surges through you reading this fic is quite intense, and gave me a new sense of Derpy in the fact that she is a great mother and puts her family first. Even though she may not be the richest pony ever, she still takes Drops in. I mean, this story is believable. Very believable. In fact this fic made the topic at hand understandable for me in general. I think with the stresses of life today, and what Raindrops was going through, I now understand why that happened, and happens in fics and IRL. It makes sense. And when I imagine Raindrops at the end hopping kind of like a joyous Pinkie skipping around, it warms my heart. I couldn't stop thinking about it for 2 days after I finally finished it. So I can not give you enough appreciation for writing this, and don't understand why some instantly dislike it. Bronies are criticized for sexual deviancy, who are we to do the same! This actually makes the #1 fic in my book to date.
First off, never feel like you shouldn't post a fic because of the subject matter.
If you like the subject, then I can guarantee that someone else will, and sharing a story that you enjoyed writing with one person that enjoyed reading it outweights random asshats that goes "trololololol diapers downvote" because seriously, who the fuck cares about them?
So if you ever write anything else, be it adult foals or anything else, just hit that publish button as soon as the editing is done, I can guarantee you that someone will enjoy your story.
Now onto the story itself, or rather what I tought of it.
It was actually much darker than I had expected, and the part with Derpy cradling Drops inside Drops house had me misty eyed, so good work on that.
The playdate with LyraBon along with the ending had me go D'aawwwww
wich I'm sure was something you were going for, so good job on that as well.
I really like Sparkler in this fic, being your typical teenager, lazy, hates morning, smarter than one think but hoof in mouth and bottling up stuff stops people from seeing it. That and her initial objections had some very good merits from a practical standpoint.
In short, good job on this, I greatly enjoyed it (so much that it kept me up to 3:30AM), and I wouldn't mind seeing more fics from you in the future.
If you asked me 4 months ago if I liked Adult Foal stories I would have looked at you funny, times change eh xD?
Oh and I blame/thank ConflictedWriter for making me read this.
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Hehe, i'm glad to hear that! The more stories out there the better, if you decide to i wish you luck and hope i get to see it when it's posted!
2120863
Thanks a bunch for your comment! As for posting it, i'm just a really shy person and i dislike dealing with drama and conflict, so it just made it real hard putting up something that i knew some people would give me trouble over just for fun. Fortunately, that's not happened and i really am glad to hear so many have liked it so far. I'm really glad you liked it too! And i'm definitely happy to hear that you're enjoying this whole little genre of stories now too, the more the merrier ^^ I'm not opposed to writing more, if i can get a solid idea to latch onto i'll start planning so we'll just have to see ^_^
This was the best fic i have ever read. Can we have a second one? Please? Please mommy?
What initially caught my interest was the subject matter. Adult foals? Infantilism? I opened up the story somewhat warily, unsure what exactly I would find, whether it would be a decent story or crudely written fetish material. I didn't bother reading the disclaimer at the bottom, opting instead to dive in blind and with an open-mind.
What I had found amazed me. You managed to create a story that touched on several themes that a general audience (read: someone who doesn't know what adult foal stuff is) could relate to; it managed to hit home in many places for me. There were several teary moments, like Derpy embracing Drops with her wings, or Sparkler's feelings about being a burden to Derpy. Even the image of Drops and Lyra waddling around in diapers was cute, and Derpy acting as a mother figure to them all was heart-warming.
I was honestly surprised at the length of this story, which by all means helped me relate to the characters and setting before the adult foal topic came up. By the time it did, it didn't feel forced. Sure, imagining "adult" characters reverting to a younger state was strange (if only because of the nature of their alternate lifestyle), but I accepted it as being just another way for them to cope in a harsh and unforgiving "grown-up" world, and I definitely understand the reasoning behind it. Overall, I'm very happy to have stumbled upon this. It was a sweet story full of love and hope. You get a favorite and an upvote from me.
2196400 Thanks a bunch! Another story is in the works, -barely- in the works but it's lightly planned out and i'll get it done eventually xD
2269069 Thank you soooooooo much, you honestly made my day with that.. <3 All the goals i set out to reach you kinda confirmed i landed. Thank you for giving it a shot, there's a lot of stereotypes that anyone writing something a bit, ah, alternative, has to kinda combat. Open minded ponies who give new things a try make me happy ^_^
What a great story. I've been following it for a while, but never had the chance to finish it. It took me longer than it should have, but as I read I found myself enjoying it more and more. I really like the jokes and references, they help keep a not-so-serious mood. The small lines you used for separation really helped me find my place when I had to leave and come back to it later, and I could only find one spelling error which is rare for me (dam not "damn finally burst"). The part where drops was evicted, and the argument with sparkler showed off derpy's motherly nature, a key point in this story. Sparkler's character felt real and her concerns about her mother felt genuine. I've read a few sad stories on this site before, but this was the first one to actually give me a strong feeling to want to cry. I especially loved the ending and the reference to the stargazing from the beginning of the story. It was a touching tale and I can't wait to read the next story you have planned.
This story was so touching! I loved it! Still, I would have liked to see more interaction with Lyra and Bon Bon concerning Raindrops, particularly after Derpy left. I can't help but want to read about what happened after she left. I don't know why. A very well-written, well-paced story that I hope will get a sequel eventually. Well done! I can't believe someone would criticize this or downvote it. It's just a story, a work of fiction. Nothing more. No need to get upset over it. Sparkler's reaction to the news was realistic and very touching as well. I'm really glad you included Dinky.
This story was so touching! I loved it! Still, I would have liked to see more interaction with Lyra and Bon Bon concerning Raindrops, particularly after Derpy left. I can't help but want to read about what happened after she left. I don't know why. A very well-written, well-paced story that I hope will get a sequel eventually. Well done! I can't believe someone would criticize this or downvote it. It's just a story, a work of fiction. Nothing more. No need to get upset over it. Sparkler's reaction to the news was realistic and very touching as well. I'm really glad you included Dinky.
This story was so touching! I loved it! Still, I would have liked to see more interaction with Lyra and Bon Bon concerning Raindrops, particularly after Derpy left. I can't help but want to read about what happened after she left. I don't know why. A very well-written, well-paced story that I hope will get a sequel eventually. Well done! I can't believe someone would criticize this or downvote it. It's just a story, a work of fiction. Nothing more. No need to get upset over it. Sparkler's reaction to the news was realistic and very touching as well. I'm really glad you included Dinky.
This has been the best read I had in quite a while. Thank you for that.
I love the way you wrote the dialogue, it felt really natural and is some of the best I've seen until now. The story itself was very good, too and the way you portrayed the characters... oh, sweet Celestia, the way you portrayed the characters. Overall, you have earned this:
[img]blog.flickchart.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/citizen_kane.gif[/img]
This story is surprisingly good, especially given the subject. I'm surprised it doesn't have more views and upvotes - it almost seems mainstream.
Beautiful and heartwarming, qualities I seldom see in stories on this theme. Absolutely wonderful.
That was a very cute story. I'm glad I finally read it.
I have to be honest, I was actually glad you added the disclaimer, because it spared me from getting blindsided. I had to do some research on sexual fetishes for a college newspaper article once, and I'm (unfortunately) familiar with some very disturbing concepts - compared to that, a person voluntarily regressing to their childhood on a temporary or permanent basis is no big issue. A few friends of mine indulge in "pony play" sometimes, and although I was seriously weirded out at first, I had little choice to just accept it as a thing that they did, as long as no one got hurt and they were able to lead productive lives in general. I weighed whether to give the story a miss or a try, and picked the latter.
All in all, a cute story, and it touches base on the social pressure of an adult to act like an adult and follow the norm of society. Stories should evoke critical thought, and this did so. And it was consensual and clearly what Raindrops needed to heal. I do hope though that she will grow up eventually once she's ready.
Also, what does Raindrops' real parents think about this?
Well done. You have a good story here and I'm glad you chose to go ahead and put it out. It kind of sums up what I feel is Derpy's prime quality greatly. I won't deny it made me tear up several times and not just out of sadness at some of what was going on.
i'll say the same thing i said on pinkie dinky pie, i never did like ab/dl stories. they always laked color, character, plot, sometimes story in general but this, this has truly thrown me a curve ball. It aplays to all sides of me (and you will find there's a lot) as for my writing side, it is a beautiful plot, amazing character interaction and most importune CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. To the brony side of me it doesn't take the character's out of what they would actually act like (with exceptions of course). And to the "normal" side of me it doesn't creep me out and i find it entertaining. Well done.
This is a very well written story. So far I love how some of the stories I've read include a few common elements like the secret adult foal shop and characters like Lyra and Bon Bon. This story hits right at home for many people. Adult life can be hard and not everyone is meant to grow up nor can handle those stresses. And I truly believe there are the caretakers and the adult "babies" out there that still dont realize they are.
I myself am an ab, and I do know at least one person who is a natural born mommy. Even others feel the same way about her. And she is the only person i've confided my secret in. But i respect her and our friendship to much to ask her to participate in any way. My only problem with being ab is my disability which prevents me from doing anything ab involved for myself. But i dont dare ask for anyones help, and nor have i had luck finding anyone like characters in these stories have been fortunate enough to find. Someday....
3030039
Someday is right, i keep telling myself that too. Keep your chin up, kay? Anything can happen if you don't give up hope. Thanks for reading too!
When I decided to read this story, I had no idea that it was a babyfur story, but when I read the author's notes, I started to laugh because I am a babyfur too. You really should put that info in the "warning" explicitly, so that ponies who want to read babyfur stories can find it.
I have to admit, I don't often come across stories that delve into family dynamics like this one did. It could have used a lot more attention in the nursery, but I enjoyed reading it.
Reading this story left me with a warm feeling, and I really want to write a clever comment as a thank. But can't really think of any clever things to say.
I really loved it though, its well written and touches a subject that I've lately found is surprisingly close to me. Besides being pleasant to reed stories like this really (I think I overuse that word) helps me figuring a lot out.
So in short, let me just thank you for posting this.
(Although I might regret staying up this late to reed it tomorrow)
This isn't a good story.
IT'S AN EXCELLENT ONE! Talk about writting skill. Could you do a sequel about their other friends discovering the whole thing and their reactions?
That was such a heart-warming story! This story had something in it that I find is lacking in a lot of the stories I have read. It brought me into the story and made my heart warm. You have written a truly wonderful and beautiful story, and it is going on my page for all of my 20(at least those that are still on the site) to see. I also feel it deserves recognition, so I will include a link to this in my next blog(if I remember because I don't know for sure when that is).
Overall, this was lovely, and I am glad I gave this a read, and I am glad that you posted this wonderful story for everyone to experience.
I love reading stories about what one might consider "alternative" topics.
This one did not disappoint. It was very fuzzy and heartwarming. I am glad you found the courage to post this story, I for one enjoyed it.
There are a few errors which I can point out in a private message. or another comment, (your choice) but it is about two in the morning at the moment and I don't feel up to logging on to an actual computer, so I will do that later.
You've earned yourself a favorite and a follower, thank you for the good read, and keep writing what makes you happy!
I believe I wrote this story off before due to the rather lazy formatting errors. Missing a double-space between paragraphs is one thing, missing them several times is simply lazy.
That said, now that I've read the story, I will say it is a fairly solid piece of work besides your apparent disregard for the Enter button. The only part that felt a little too forced was Lyra and Bon Bon being DLs, but I suppose I feel that way about any canon character just happening to be them and is through no fault of your own, considering we don't actually know anything about those two. The exposition dips a little too deep into the Informal side of things on a regular basis, but never enough to really ruin the experience. All in all, I would recommend it to people looking for such a story, although it would be passed over for more polished affairs if they were simply interested in a good read.
Very good story, hits its intended mark perfectly. Outstanding work.
Many manly tears were shed during the process of reading this fic, what got them flowing was when Sparkler confronted Derpy. You can tell that she cares about her mother so much that she just wants to ease the load on her back, it was just very very touching.
You did a great job with this fic and really reached the goal that you aimed when writing this. It really made me feel warm and happy inside.
Wow, this was reeeaaaally good... Actually made me step back and look at my own life and personality 0.0 so... Thank you I think? Lol, anyway great job!
Why has no one made adorable art to go along with this story?
This was a super cute, adorable read, full of wonderful emotion.
If I have any criticisms, it's that I feel like it didn't give us enough detail on the titular character and her plight. We get to know Derpy quite well (which is great, because your Derpy is a treat to read), but I didn't feel like I fully got to know Raindrops.
Overall, a great heartwarming fic. I'm annoyed that I overlooked this one for so long.
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Hey, thanks, i'm glad you like it! I still read the comments even after all this time and it still makes me really happy to hear the story was enjoyed <3 I get where you're coming from on Raindrops only getting so much exposure. The story really was more about Derpy than her though in spite of the title. I had started on a followup but i made the mistake i often do and thought i could write a chaptered story.. Had i managed to really do what i wanted with it, Raindrops would have gotten the focus entirely. I had planned to have it be an odd mix of sci-fi (her imagination) and slice of life (showing what was -really- happening when she was imagining), but it didn't work as a chaptered story and i never managed to finish. Maybe one day though, yeah?