• Member Since 21st Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 26th, 2012

Beaker


T

Scootaloo is following in Rainbow Dash's footsteps and achieved her dream. She joined the Wonderbolts and is rocking out with her childhood idol, but something is still missing from her life. Scootaloo has been acting differently lately and Rainbow Dash is going to figure out what's wrong. Can Rainbow Dash help the sister she never had find love?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 8 )

Wonderful. Just wonderful. I really want to see what's going to happen~ :pinkiehappy:

can not wait untill next chapter!:pinkiehappy:

Looking good so far, eagerly awaiting the next chapter. You need a little work on your punctuation & formatting, and perhaps you should tighten up the pacing a bit as well. The content of the story itself though is perfect the way it is. Make sure to take note of GaruuSpike's comment as well, pretty much everything you need to know is there.:twilightsmile: Keep it up!

149151
Good advice, though the hyphen and semi-colon parts are wrong.

Semi-colons are used to separate complete thoughts in a sentence. if you can replace the semi-colon with a period and make one sentence into two (also complete) sentences, the semi-colon is correctly placed. So your examples for semi-colons is incorrect, as neither "it reflected sunlight" or "not too hot or too cold" are complete thoughts. That said, replacing the semi-colon in those examples with a full colon or a dash would be acceptable, as neither of those marks HAVE to be used to separate complete thoughts.

Dashes (this is a hyphen: "-". A dash is two hyphens put together, like so: "--") can be used in exactly the same way as semi-colons (as well as in other ways, being that dashes are more flexible than semi-colons), meaning they actually ARE interchangeable in most situations. A real hyphen should never be used like you have portrayed, as hyphens are strictly used to tie words together, as correctly demonstrated in your explanation of "past-present diction." The correct hyphen in question is, of course, between the words "past" and "present." In fact your example for "hyphens" is correct, as both halves of that sentence could make complete sentences of their own.

#5 · Jan 24th, 2012 · · ·

Great story! :pinkiehappy:


Tracking it with my favorites bar...I really should organize it... :ajsleepy:

Tracking! This looks like a good one. Can't wait to see what kind of crazy matchmaking junk goes on! :pinkiehappy:

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