• Member Since 13th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 15th, 2013

The Engineer


E

Octavia deals with the death of Vinyl Scratch and the emotions and pain that follow such loss. They said that time can heal all wounds but what about when you cut the soul?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 20 )

Great story. I it broke my heart. Poor Tavi.

1987525 I'm glad that the story hit you right in the feels. I wanted it to do that. I tried to make the ending stop on a bittersweet note so that it wasn't terribly depressing.

That was painful to read. In a good way, but the effect is still the same.

I think i'll re-name my balls "feels" for you have viciously kicked them into the territory of PAIN AND LANGUISH!

This hit the feels...the gut, the balls, the shin, the knees,it hit everything wonderful story

Good job, I see you have improved a lot. This story truly gave me da sads. I'll post a more detailed review later.

1998426 Thanks! I've been working on it.
1997902 Thank you, and I'm sorry my story attacked you so brutally. I will see about getting a leash and hopeful that will keep it in the yard.

This review was brought to you by the Authors Helping Authors group.

Name: Kill What's Left of My Modesty

Grammar Score: 7.5/10

Pros:
-High on emotion
-Details are vague
-Emphasis is in the important things

Cons:
-Tavi is at times a bit melodramatic
-Some grammar errors
-The oblivious policer officer

Notes:
Good stuff. This story was high on emotion; I see you have developed a lot as a writer since your last fic. It's easy to associate with Tavi and her emotions because you only talk about the important stuff instead of focusing on pointless side fluff. However, there were some problems too. Personally, I have problem with this section:

“JUST KILL ME! JUST BUCKING FINISH ME OFF! END IT! I BEG YOU! KILL WHAT LEFT OF ME BECAUSE I CAN’T TAKE IT. KILL ME TOO! KILL ME! KILL ME! Kill me! Kill me….Kill me.”

Why so much shouting? I'd think that wouldn't be Tavi's initial reaction when learning out about Vinyl's death, but perhaps that's just me being a stereotypical inwards-turned Finn :twilightblush: The error there also sticks out. I also have to mention that I felt that the officer in the end was out-of-place and annoying in his obliviousness, though I understand somepony had to be there to make Celestia talk.

I'd love if you could review Unto the Great Everafter, a sadfic oneshot quite similar to this one.

2002528 Ah, shoot! I always miss a few errors. At the point with the shouting, I might go back to make my intentions for it more clear. Essentially I was pressure cooking her as she tried to bottle it up and otherwise still remain strong. The carriage is the trigger that breaks her down. As far as the police officer, yes, he's a bit of a plot device, but the character is based off someone I know that is painfully oblivious to stuff. I also didn't just want a long monologue with Celestia at the ending. Anyway, thanks for checking it man.

If I may be honest, I started to cry! ;w; So touching!

2097539 I'm glad to hear it touched you. I hoped that those that read it would feel something at least.

Bro! This is legit! Here, have a reading!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dhr3xAoEe2c

Comment posted by The Engineer deleted Apr 9th, 2013

2394683 Thanks! I don't think I've ever had someone do a reading of one of my stories before so that's pretty cool. Also, I call myself The Engineer because that's what I'm trying to get a degree in, but Team Fortress 2 is a pretty good guess. Also, when listening to your read through, and questions about the relation between Pinkie Pie and Octavia, and on the MLP wiki, there's nothing officially stating they are related, but I've read stories where they are. So it is one of those details that isn't concrete, at least as far as I know of, and can change story to story. Also, thanks for pointing out my typo in my AN. *facepalm*

2401208 no biggie! and thanks for writing it, I enjoyed it thoroughly, and might do another :)

liquid feels... well played salesman.

this story broke my heart a amazing written story thank you

Amazing read, and I love it. I'm a horrible person that ships Tavi and Vi hardcore, yet loves seeing one or the other die. Favorited.

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