Attack of the Black and Red Alicorns OC's

by Good Christian Ethesto

Something will happen eventually

Captain Original Character stood near the flap of his recently erected command tent, watching the guards under his command set up camp. They had just flown in from Canterlot on chariots, carrying with them as many supplies as possible so they could set up an outpost in Horseington and it was now very early in the morning. The sun was just beginning to crest the horizon.

With a weary sigh, he pulled his decorative, golden-plated helmet off and let his magnificent blonde mane flow freely in the slight breeze. It was beautiful. His hair, I mean. He spent hours a day grooming and shampooing it to perfection, making sure it was pristine. Such was vital to his job, since in Equestria, looks are everything. I mean, just look at the princesses. Their hair is freakin' magical! No pony has been able to match their magnificent style in thousands of years, hence why they have been in charge for so long.

Not to mention the last guard captain, Shining Armor. Surely he would have made a better surfer dude than a guard captain, but his hair was fantastic and spiked to perfection, making him ideal for the job. One doesn't have to wonder for long how the changelings were able to penetrate the country's defenses so easily.

Without anything better to do, as the guards hardly needed his instructions to set up tents, Captain Original Character decided to go for a walk around their makeshift base. It was built at the edge of Horseington, a town that is exactly how it sounds. All the inhabitants are literally horses. The captain let out an involuntary shudder as he thought about the town's horrible populace. With their beady, black eyes and their elongated limbs and faces they looked pretty ho(rse)rrifying. At least by pony standards. No wonder not many ponies lived this far northwest...

He didn't get far before he was confronted by one of the locals. Mayor Neigh to be exact. She walked up to him, her chestnut coat and black mane glistening with early morning dew. She had likely just come from rolling around in the grass, which is something horses do on a regular basis.

"Why hello, captain. It's such a beautiful morning, isn't it?" The captain simply nodded his head, trying his best not to look too disgusted at the horrible creature talking to him. "But not as beautiful as you," she continued, batting her long eyelashes in a blatantly obvious attempt at seduction.

He cringed in horror as mental images of horse sex assaulted his mind. Without another word, he turned and galloped away, trying to ignore the horse shouting after him. Making sure the defenses were up to par could wait 'til later. For now, he had to get away from this horse.

--

Nix Shadowstalker crouched low into the bushes, his black and red-striped coat hidden behind the veil of his shadow magic. He was practically a ghost, a phantom, unseen and unseeable by even the most observant of ponies. He squinted his hawk-like eyes, allowing him to focus more clearly on the town just beyond the tree line. It wasn't a very large town, and was normally inhabited only by defenseless horse-beasts, but now it was crawling with pony guards.

No doubt the ponies had taken Nightmare Raven Von Shadowmirk the Dark's threat seriously and decided to do something about it. Every black and red alicorn's biggest tragic flaw is their ego and boastful nature, and now it had come back and bitten them in the ass. Instead of assaulting a defenseless town they would now have to fight what looked like over a hundred royal guards.

Nix smiled to himself, revealing his fangs and forked tongue, stained with fresh blood from the pegasi scout ponies he and his companions had killed and cannibalized just the night before, as he anticipated the coming fight. The ponies would need a lot more than a few guards to stop them...

He slowly got up, slipping back into the thick of the forest to report his findings to the rest of the black and red alicorns. No doubt commander Death Slaughter the Dark Butcher would be interested in these developments.

--

"ARE WE THERE YET?!" Bellowed guard captain Helga in unparalleled rage.

Commander Ashley Tisdale gritted her teeth, her teen angst starting to bubble over into frothing anger as this was like the hundredth time Helga had asked this. "Like, oh my god! If you ask again I am seriously going to, like, strangle you!" Her threats were ignored, though. Helga wasn't afraid of the puny commander. Her neck was so stronk and muscular that it would take no less than a genetically altered, super, cyborg gorilla to even attempt to strangle her. Such creatures were rarely found this far out in space, so she had nothing to be afraid of.

Unfortunately for commander Ashley, Helga wasn't the only one excited for the impeding xeno purge. Dreadnought Tina stood nearby as well in the spacious ship bridge, her bulky metal body painted a bright pink and decorated with all kinds of rainbows, hearts, and cute little critters. She had a heavy multi-melta attached to the end of one stubby arm and a huge power claw on the other, making her a literal close-range killing machine. "Are we there yet?!" She cried out in an unusually childish voice. Tina had been turned into a dreadnought at only the age of eight, after proving herself in countless battles, so despite being over a thousand years-old she still had the mind of a child.

Ashley's left eye began to twitch in annoyance. She was seriously considering just pulling out her storm bolter and going ape-shit on the both of them, but she thought better of it. No doubt Tina would incinerate her if she even tried something like that. Instead she answered with the same response she had already given dozens of times. "NO! WE ARE NOT THERE YET! LIKE, STOP ASKING ME!"

Then one of the nearby tech marines controlling the ship spoke up. "Yar Captain! We be here! Land ho!" She had a thick, black beard, and an eyepatch, further emphasizing that she was supposed to be a space pirate character.

Suddenly, a nearby screen flicked to life, showing a detailed view of the nearby planet. It was surprising blue and green, something that usually indicated life. This was made even more clear by the pockets of light-sources they picked up with their cameras. No doubt the dirty xeno inhabitants of this planet were also somewhat intelligent.

Ashley's rage melted away nearly immediately and was replaced with joy. "Surely the emperor, like, smiles upon us, or something."

Nearby Tina and Helga hopped around giddily, anticipating the massive slaughter of unholy xenos in the emperor's name that was sure to come.

Comments

[Sir_Scrub_aka_QuickDraw]

Good story, Lots of comedy . I didn't know what to expect only that any expectations were blown away .

[Linkonpark100]

I think a soundtrack of Sum 41 is appropriate for this story.