• Published 9th Feb 2013
  • 13,091 Views, 266 Comments

Sly Cooper in: Stealing Harmony - Loyal2Luna

In order to save his friends and the love of his life from Discord, Master Raccoon Thief Sly Cooper must accomplish the impossible; steal the Elements of Harmony from Celestia and their bearers.

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Prologue: Hello, My Name is Sly.


Hello, My Name is Sly


Canterlot Palace, Equestria, 2:28 a.m.



I never really understood that word, or rather, the meaning behind it.

How could anybody be afraid of being on top of the world? How could they look out on something from on high, like this remarkable city that lays before me, with its breathtaking palace, golden domes, spiraling towers and cascading waterworks, all perched on a mountainside overlooking a lush, pristine valley, and not feel a sense of awe?

I have to admit though, I’m starting to have a new appreciation for the word (not to mention a few other things) as shards from a stained glass window glance off my fur and clothes, falling alongside me.

Which brings me to another big word I just recently added to the list of words I don’t like.

Defenestration: The act of throwing something through a window, putting it at the mercy of gravity.

The problem is, that when falling from the top floor of a tower as tall as this one, gravity is anything but merciful.

Oh, well. That’s why I always keep a spare para-glider tucked away in case of emergencies. It always pays to be--


Okay, another word that I realize I hate, as the smoldering tatters of my para-glider join me in my descent: Incineration.

Well, if there’s any consolation to be had as I plummet to the ground, at least I have a great view of the city below me on the way down.


Okay... On second thought, not really much of a consolation at all, as I can start to make out the herds of colorful, four-legged ponies below, running for their lives in a blind, terrified panic as the firestorm above me expands. Even with my back to it, facing the ground as it comes closer, I can feel the heat. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see it turning the night sky red and orange with fury as the horror I failed to prevent is unleashed upon this kind, unsuspecting world.

As my heart races and my pupils dilate, the entire world slows down around me, and I feel a familiar sensation of calm in the face of my imminent demise. It’s not the first time that my life has flashed before my eyes, but I get the feeling it might be the last.

How did I get to this point, you ask? Well, it’s a long story, actually. You might wanna make yourself comfortable.


My name is Sly Cooper, and I’m a raccoon from a planet called Earth. Now, I know what you’re thinking, and as for the reason I need to point out my planet of origin, that part comes later. First, a little bit about me.

I like to consider myself an art and music enthusiast; a lover of the finer things in life. I’m also a bit of a thrill seeker, pretty good at acrobatics, and an expert at getting myself out of a bind.

Which are useful things to be when you consider I’m also a master thief.

Yep, the raccoon is a no-good thieving criminal, big surprise. I get that a lot, even though it’s kind of an unfair stereotype. Also, just because I’m technically a criminal doesn’t make me a bad person. Allow me to explain.

You see, as a member of the infamous “Cooper Clan,” I come from a long line of “master thieves” that stretches as far back as Ancient Egypt; part of a three thousand year old legacy that has been passed down from parent to child, generation after generation. A legacy that has had an impact in every age of my world, with our code, secrets, and history kept in the Cooper Family’s most prized heirloom: the legendary book known as the “Thievius Raccoonus.”

Now, we Coopers are not your common criminals by any stretch of the imagination. We live for the challenge, not the money. Greed has no meaning to a true Cooper, as we follow a path of honor, a set of guidelines followed by every single one of my ancestors.

Never harm an innocent.

Never steal from the just.

Never turn a blind eye to those in need.

Sounds like real Robin Hood kind of stuff right? Don’t be surprised. After all, he was a Cooper too.

My family made their reputations and fortunes by stealing from crime lords, tyrants, and the corrupt, with our skills and prowess growing stronger as each generation inherited the expertise of their predecessors.

These were the stories I grew up on, and my father would often go on for hours, regaling me with tales of our ancestors as well as his own exploits.

This was the legacy I was born into.

A legacy stolen from me at the age of eight, along with my parents and everything else that mattered to me, when a monstrous gang known as the Fiendish Five attacked our family home. They burned down our mansion and made off with the Thievius Raccoonus, my birthright, dividing its pages amongst themselves.

I was left alone, with nowhere to go but a local orphanage and nothing but my father’s old cane to remember him by.

Still, I guess the orphanage wasn’t all bad, though. After all, it was there that I met the two best friends that a guy could ask for.

Bentley… The guy’s a genius. He’s always been the brains of the operation.

And Murray… He’s the brawn. His muscle has saved my tail more times than I can count.

As we grew, so did our skills and reputation. We even got our own dedicated Interpol agent trying to hunt us down in the form of the lovely Inspector Carmelita Fox, playing cat and mouse with both her heart and her shock pistol.

Ah, Carmelita, my love… Life just wouldn’t be the same without you.

Together, the three of us pulled jobs all over the world, with Carmelita usually nipping right on our heels as she tried to “bring us to justice.” Sometimes I even let her catch me so we could get to know each other better, before I made a quick escape.

What can I say? I have my romantic moments.

Eventually, they all helped me avenge my parents and reclaim the Thievius Raccoonus from my family’s greatest enemy. Once it and my family secrets were back in my possession, it seemed like the good times would never end as the “Cooper Gang” pulled off heists that spread tales of our infamy across the globe. The mere mention of our names made even the hardest, toughest crime lords break out in a cold sweat as they double checked the locks on their doors and windows.

But like all roller-coaster rides, eventually, things went downhill.

Two years after we recovered the Thievius Raccoonus, a moment of distraction cost Bentley the use of his legs… confining him to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Murray, blaming himself for our friend’s paralysis, lost his confidence… and as a result, I almost lost them both.

The life of a master thief was losing its luster. And although I didn’t realize it at the time, I was starting to look for a way out.

Then I met a guy named McSweeney, who claimed to have run with my dad’s old gang, pulling off heists all over the world.

He told me all about the legendary Cooper Vault; a secret stash containing the spoils of my ancestors’ accumulated wealth and accomplishments, hidden behind a door which only a Cooper could open. Located in the South Pacific on Kaine Island, the vault was legally owned by an obsessed scientist named Dr. M.

The crazed mandrill had spent over a decade attempting to break into the vault, with nothing to show for it except a mountain full of holes. He even built an impenetrable fortress on the island and set up a private army around the walls, growing more frustrated and paranoid as the years of failure rolled on.

Inside that vault lay my inheritance, but to even have a chance of getting past Dr. M, I would need to assemble a crew of world-class thieves, starting with the two I trusted most.

After reuniting with Bentley and Murray, we proceeded to scour the globe, spending almost a year planning, preparing, and finding the best of the best. And after facing Operatic mobsters, an evil magical mask, crazed pilots, undead mantises, and culturally-isolated pirates, we forged an unbreakable bond of trust, becoming the most formidable incarnation of the Cooper Gang in history. Together, we were prepared to pull off the heist of the century.

But Dr. M and his army of mutant monsters were ready for us.

I was injured, suffering a concussion and more than a few cracked ribs in the initial fight after we were discovered, but I wouldn’t be here discussing it with you if not for Carmelita’s timely arrival saving my tail from the fire. My crew pulled me out and managed to improvise a way though the fortress defenses in order to make one last attempt on the vault. And this time, I had to go alone.

Once inside, I found myself surrounded by piles of treasure that would make King Midas faint. Coins, jewels, and priceless artifacts worth more than even I could have imagined. And it was then, as I traversed the challenges of the vault in an effort to reach the inner sanctum, that I realized what I had really been after all along.

I realized that it had never been about the money or the fame. It had never been about the Cooper Vault. It had never even been about the Cooper legacy or the family name.

It had all been about getting my friends back into action, getting them invested and keeping things as they were.

It had all been about trying to make sure that Carmelita kept chasing after us.

It had all been because I was afraid of being left alone.

And I realized… it all had to stop.

My revelation was cut short as Dr. M blasted his way into the treasure-laden inner sanctum, having used me to find its exact location. He didn’t exactly have time to celebrate, though.

For someone so smart, you’d think he would’ve taken into consideration the effect that blowing up the inside of a mountain already drilled through like Swiss cheese would have on its stability.

But as the walls and ceiling crumbled around us, I learned the truth: Dr. M had been the third member, the “brains” of my father’s gang. He had grown bitter after years of living in my father’s shadow in spite of his own brilliance. He felt he was chiefly responsible in paving the way for their success, and saw the Cooper Fortune as rightfully belonging to him.

In my mind, the ensuing battle wasn’t as climactic as it should’ve been. I had taken down monsters bigger and badder than Dr. M. To me, it wouldn’t have even been a challenge.

But I couldn’t; my heart just wasn’t in it anymore.

When Carmelita arrived, right on cue and shouting about how we were all under arrest (as soon as she was done saving our skins), Dr. M did me the greatest favor of my life. He sent me flying with a solid blow from his mechanical arms and cracked my head on a far wall.

Carmelita, of course, came to my rescue and found me. I was dazed, confused, and clearly suffering from “amnesia.”

…Don’t look at me like that. We’d played Cops and Robbers for years, ever since we were both rookies of our respective trades. She had chased me across all seven continents and more than once swore she would bring me to justice at any cost.

So, yeah. I lied. I told her I had no idea who she was, who I was. Call me a coward if you want, but to me, it was the only way we could ever be together.

At first I was worried it would never work. After all, she was Interpol’s top agent. We’d been playing this game long enough that I had no doubt she knew me well enough to know when I was faking.

But nothing could compare with the leap my heart took when she told me who I was.

Constable Cooper… her partner.

We escaped together.

Dr. M, having obsessed over my family’s treasure for so long, refused to leave. And, like my past, he was buried under the rubble of Kaine Island.

Thankfully, my crew also managed to get away unharmed. They even found the special goodbye present I had left for them: a secondary trove separate from the main vault holding a stash that was worth millions. Enough for each of them to retire and pursue their own dreams without my interference keeping them rooted in my family’s thieving lifestyle.

That was over a year ago.

I left the criminal life behind, and Carmelita used her connections to get my old records expunged while continuing to believe in my “memory loss.” Together at Interpol, we were almost unstoppable; busting criminal organizations left and right that had been considered untouchable before we brought them down. I never knew how much fun playing the “good guy” could be, or how useful my skills were on the other side of the fence.

It was a new life... a good life. One that I could be proud of.

Good enough that I’d consider taking a risk bigger than any I’d faced during my long and illustrious career.

I thought I would never have to go back to that old life again...

But then... I met someone different. Someone who seemed like he couldn’t possibly have existed.

And he had other ideas.