"Dear Celestia, what have i got myself into?" Twilight and Rainbow Dash have always had each others back, but now Dash has no choice but to put her life in Twilight's hooves. Due to one of Twilight's magical experiments gone wrong, Rainbow Dash has been changed back into a 3 year-old filly. Now Twilight has to find a way to to change her friend back before the effects become irreversible. But will Twilight's attitude go from 'mother' to 'lover'?
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This looks interesting, ill track to see where it goes.
Oh, and another thing " 'Mother' to 'Lover' " .....
lulz.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/chris-hansen.gif
Chris Hansen is watching you Molest children.
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
This has got pontential to be a good story and I look forward to seeing more, I'm kinda left wondering what kind of spell Twilight was casting that would result Rainbow Dash being reverted to a 3 year old.
Well, not to bad of a start. You're overall grammar is pretty decent. But work a bit on your capitalization, especial I instead of i. And a couple of issues with punctuation. It distracts from the story.
The premise seems ok, although, yes... From mother figure to lover is a bit.... Well, we'll see how you handle it.
You've got a track to follow, and it's well made. Can't wait to read more
D'awww, this is just adorable!
Tracking this one for sure, and I seriously hope you decide to make more chapters of this story!
This is a pretty great fic if I ever saw one.
MUCH better than any of the ones I've ever made.
This just got tracked!
Nice job.
-Entilliumn <-----(why do I keep doing that?)
Err, so, is this like a joke or something?
I guess I will never understand fimfiction.
Backstory where art thou?
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Good day.
NO WAIT I'M ALLERGIC TO D'AAAAAWWWWWW *explodes*
Briliently written bravo!
The sheer adorableness. It hurts
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Maybe a little background on how did Dash turned into a filly in the next chapter? Would love to read more about motherly twi
This could turn out to be very interesting, especially considering you are using in medias res, or at least I hope you are because this would be a bad place to call the beginning of the story.
Cute first chapter. I wonder if this'll have a mixed ending. The ideal ending is Dash being restored to normal. But on the other hoof... Twilight becoming too attached as a mother could be really interesting. Also looking forward to chapter 2 + backstory.
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Agreed.
grammar and punctuation could use some fixing, but overall rather good.
although, GODDAMMIT WHERE ARE YOU, BACKSTORY. I WANT YOU~!
and 'Mother to lover'
Chris Hansen: Take a seat, right over there.
I can't wait to see where this is going! keep up the good writing!
147587
Fucking win.
D'AAAWWW
Good fic, Lordly likes. One problem I've noticed that everyone seems to have when they're starting out is with picking a tense and sticking to it. There are a few places where it jumps from past tense(which it should be) to present tense (which should only really be used when writing in first person) Also, you tend to be a bit over eager with your punctuation, Putting fullstops and commas where they aren't needed (and in a couple of places, in an area where it breaks the flow of the scentance, jarring the reader out of immersion).
You need to remember to capitilise your "I"s and you've used Their's instead of There's at one point (another common mistake. Homophones are a bastard. (Remember, There refers to places (and abstracts), Their means belonging to "them" and They're is a contraction of They are.) In one place, you've used Mare where filly would be Much more appropriate (Filly in FiM being interchangeable with Girl, where Mare means Woman.) A Very good first attempt. Fic is tracked unless and until Twilight becomes a FoalFiddler. Then its out the window with it. Speaking of Windows, the term is windowsill, not window seal, but thats just me being pedantic. Hope this helped, even a little. Now, time for sleep (*intends to write a line or two in review, ends up writing a couple of paragraphs after three re-reads.* Theres something about 2 in the morning that brings out the FicReveiwer in me).
*edit* also, sorry to anyone who saw the attack of the half dozen posts. The submit button pretended it was broken when it was not
147641
yes, I'm mad!!!
Awesome! So tracking this! Though, as some of the others have said before me, I would love some background-story-plots-stuffs in he next chapter. I think you did really well for a first time fic! Actually, more than well ! *is totally jelly thinking about my first*
Anyway, keep up the good work
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Probably testing a new mass-teleportation spell. Or a diagnostic spell to let her learn more about Pegasus anatomy in order to improve her flight spell. Y'know, the usual stuff.
OMG DASHIE LOOKS SOOO CUTE AS A FILLY! D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Mother to lover..........either your making a mare and filly do it or I'm twisted.
Tracking...That is all.
ALLONS-Y!
Very interesting chapter, Comrade. As it stands, it's too early to give an adequate rating. So, I shall wait for the next chapter. Also, I love the medias in res style; gives the reader more questions to ask, and thus keeps them hooked.
<_< it moved sorta fast, like you were assaulting us with information about what had happened. Could've used a little fleshing out, but for a first fanfic, it was decent.
... Hmmm - mother to lover sounds... questionable. But, ignoring that, this chapter had so much ad'awwableness I'm not even sure how to react to it.
Admittedly, you should probably have thought to put the incident which resulted in this before this chapter, but the cute totally buys you a free pass on that one. However, you need to figure out a better way to seperate your author's notes. Maybe some sort of line break.
I take it you're a fan of My Little Alicorn?
how about My Little Dashie?
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Please continue the story. I am interested.
Oh No!! I'm allergic to cuteness. (R.I.P)
147587
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consider me intrigued, carry on
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WE HAVE WINAR
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'Winner'
147786
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Good day.
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I am interested... You could use an editor though...
The romance title scares me.
D'awwww, I like it so far. I'm curious to see how this turns into a romance story. I'm tracking
147954
I don't get it.
Anyway, this story has promise. I'll track it.
AHH! Where's the accident itself? I show up, and RD's already a filly, and i'm all confuzzled.
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This seems interesting *clicks track button*
If its not to much to ask, may you make a prologue? Or is it an entirely different story?
Other than that tracked and faved!
Dear pretty much everybody : thanks so so much for reading this. I plan to put the back story in the next chapter so don't worry. I just wanted to get something out there so I could motivate myself to continue it. I appreciate all your comments and I plan to continue. As for the mother to lover thong, I am planning something for that transition. I do realize I need and editor and was actually hoping someone whose been a long term writer here could help me out so message me if you wanna help me out. Ill try not to let you all down.
*Warning* Cuteness processing core overloaded. Reactor meltdown eminent.
OMG I WANT MORE! This is so cute!
I think my heart exploded twice and now I can't think
no I think I sad because of cute overload 
Oh hey there! Glad you finally got your story up :) I'll be watching you