• Member Since 17th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 1st, 2017


I suddenly forgot how to write good stories. So have this crap instead.

Comments ( 66 )

Twilight Freeman?
is it a Half-Life crossover? just a tip when you write a crossover fic, put what it is a crossover of please :twilightblush:

1963719 Whoops :twilightblush:
I just thought everybody knows what this suit is :D

1963768 I do, it just isn't always people use crossover pics for their fic pictures when it isn't really a crossover :twilightsmile:

I'm having mixed feelings about this right now. It has potential, but currently it is pretty much HL2 reenacted by ponies. I do hope you plan on changing it up and making it your own story, not just Valve's story retold through ponies.

Also, it seems you use articles about half the time you should. Most of the time it's at the beginning of the sentence that you omit them. I don't feel it effects the flow too much, but they should still be there.

For the time being I'll be following this because it has the potential to be interesting. Just please make it your own original story instead of just having Twilight follow the footsteps of Gordon Freeman.

Thumb's up but not gonna fave. can't really follow this in concience it is too close to the main hl2 story line, I keep skipping over parts I already know. You could probably have it go better by having twilight go to Gordan Freeman's universe and assist in fighting the combine with mixed results. That now would be interesting, just a suggestion.

anyway cheers.:twilightsmile:

1964056>>1965679 Thanks. I`ll think about something more exciting. :twilightsheepish:

1965679 1966724 Here's an idea: the teleporter in the lab could malfunction and send Twilight to Dr. Freeman's world and vice versa with each starting in the opposite universe after the string of teleportations leaving them outside the lab. After that, I don't know.

I'll fave this to see where it goes. If it does turn out to be HL2 reenacted by ponies, I'll unfave it.

1968153 that is a sound Idea, maybe also have a scene where lamar pops out in equestria in Fluttershy's house. and heres an Idea for why the teleporter catches Twilight and sends her to Gordons world. she messes up one of her teleports when Pinkipie scares her. The teleport is caught in a spacial time flux from Twilights lack of chosen destination, and Gordons portal being disrupted by the Gman and lamar's own exploits ends up being the most open exit path for her matter to reform and so she does just at the end of Gordon Freeman's little teleportation mishap while lamar slips through to the equestrian side of the portal. just an Idea. 1966724 that is if you wan't to that is.

1968153 Actually, it was my intention at first, to make it just HL2 reenacted by ponies, because Freeman In Equestria is plain stupid (I considered writing it, even wrote a paragraph, but it turned out to be dumb and unoriginal at all). But WTF, I dunno anymore, nobody wants it to be just HL2 with hooves. Hm... I`ll figure it out. Somehow. It`s not gonna disappoint you, I hope. But I won`t send Twilight to Freeman`s world either, because that will definately be 146% HL2 reenacted with just one pony and you said you don`t want it.
Of course the main storyline will be HL2`s, that`s the point of a crossover after all, but I`ll think of a little twist to it. :twilightsmile:

1968196 Well, MAYBE it`s a good idea, but not this time and not this fic. Sending Twilight to HL2 universe to run the path of Gordon is just stupid. You said that you wouldn`t want HL2 to be just retold with ponies in it, but your idea is precisely HL2 with Twilight in it plus this blasted HiE on the backstory starring Freeman. I`m not even mentioning that due to lack of H.E.V. suit she`d die before she even gets to the canals. :twilightsheepish:

1968284you are right about those fronts however twi is a smart mare and could probably within the first few minutes create a working coppie of the hev suit from scrap materials lying around after analyzing gordons suit in minute detail. however if you're going to do a hl2 story either follow the main story line with Gordon and one of the ponies from equestria or have some creatures from gordon's world sneak into equestria, also the combine would most likely start by conquering the griffons considering they are the most militaristic of the species on equestria. what I meant before was if you're going to follow the hl2 story line then you should at least have them in the actual setting rather than have it and the entire cast reenacted by ponies. it just leaves too much room for op twi or up twi which would get slaughtered, not to mention you have to create an entirely new story line for the characters that doesn't involve certain aspect of the game that only bipedal creatures can accomplish. not to mention twi wouldn't really be able to swim in the toxic waist like gordan can due to the fact that her horn is a direct link to either her magic or her central nervussistem, however what ever you come up with I'll try to read and we'll see what happens from there, if you want any idea's on certain things I'll be willing to help. sorry if I sound like an ass, I just don't wan't to see another hl2 cross over die because of the lack of fanbase or because it sucked and wan't to contribute as much as possible. and as per any snarky comments about if I wan't one done then do it myself. well it is going to end up being a side story that will go and fit nicely into LECN with Gilda getting the shiny new hev suit. made courtesy of Twilight smithing industries. again sorry for being so mean in this comment I just wanted to get my point across as vividly as possible.

1968369 I`ve seen no mean words in your comment, well, whatever.
I don`t want this fic to die either, that`s why I`ll come up with something. I`m planning to follow HL2`s storyline to a certain point and then BOOM, AN UNEXPECTED... SOMETHING! :twilightsmile:
Just don`t you worry and give me some chapters to realize all ideas. I`ll make it awesome. It`s a promise.

I like where this story is going.
Can't wait for the "Ravenholm" chapter. :pinkiehappy:

1969850 Good, good. Me too sometimes. :pinkiecrazy:

man for a moment i thought you were recreate the whole half-life 2 game with the canals but i guess not,but are you still going to put zombie Ravenholm?:rainbowkiss:

2009156 I'm sorry to disappoint you. There still will be canals. And Ravenholm. And Coast. And Nova Prospect. And Citadel. And nothing about Episode Three. Everything. WAHAHAHAA! :pinkiecrazy:

2011163 well that is good to know i'll like to see a bit of change in the story line compared to the game:moustache:

The story is good so far but you seem to be missing the words "the" and "a" in several locations.

2011163 your ending to chapter 2 had saved my interest sir the gold star is holding strongly.:twilightsmile:

PLease tell me it is Rarity that betrays them and not Fluttershy.

I saw plenty of places that needed a good "the" in front of them. Also, creek (a flowing body of water) vs creak (a sound).

On to chapter 3!

My piece of advice to improve this story would be to go through it as if you weren't the author, but a reader or an editor and correct the mistakes you find. Mostly the lack of "the" and "a" as AnonBrony noted.

Also, congratulations on counting further than Valve.

Epic Responce Time!

2067287 Sorry. I'll try to fix it.

2067715 Betrayal? What betrayal? :twilightsmile:

2068902 Sorry about "the". As I said, I'll try my hardest.

Chapter 3 posted on February 3rd... Valve can suck my horn. :trollestia:

This really has been the deepest chapter so far. Twi's gonna have her work cutout for her trying to "weld" the elements back together. I also like how you made the changelings take the role of the Vortigaunts. I never saw either as evil, just controlled by some madman (or woman) for their own benefit.

And now on a more excited note: Yes! The Ravenholm level is next! So many memories from that level alone; I shall await w/ great anticipation! :pinkiehappy:

2079837 Ah, thank you for these kind words. I really enjoyed writing this chapter (my mad part of a brain finally roamed free :pinkiecrazy:).

I'm glad to see you excited. I'll try my best not to disappoint.

Now with 20% more edits!

Now stocked with some minor edits!

You kept telling me about all those nasty 'the' and 'a\an' out of place, so I did my best to fix it. Report if I missed anything (And I sure as Hell did!)

I like Flutters billysquid, DON'T please DON't go over Rainbow and rarities parts just stick with Fluttershy and Twilight.

2205136 I wonder, what if I give her a garg... Just for a change? :D

Oh, and why don't you want to see Rares and Dashie? (Not that I wanted anyway, just curious)

2205575 because they are going to be painfully obvious and predictable since they know what to do to survive. Rarity will kill combine till she runs into the allies, or is an ally of sombra, And rainbow dash will stop at nothing to get back to the resistance to continue helping twi and the gang.:twilightsmile:


2205960 2.bp.blogspot.com/-GC59UF04An8/UGlamQxIVnI/AAAAAAAAATo/FemHQNBdJKk/s1600/BLACK+MESA+gargantua.png

Well, as for Rares and Dashie, I'll make their tale interesting too, I already have some ideas.

Oh... I love that guy, always managed to run far away from him. damn if flutters manages to get one of those, it doesn't matter what the combine do they're completely screwed. though I think the billy squid it the happy medium that needs to be maintained otherwise Fluttershy would be op.

oh do they have to worry about striders?

2206075 could you imagin what fluttershy could do with an antlion colony? ooh how about no betrayals as the big surprise. and deviation? Oh and maybe give twilight a horn ring that enhances her psychokinesis rather than inhibiting it. maybe give rainbow dash experimental wing guns. just a few idea's to add to the mix.

anyway i'm off to bed for the night see you tomorrow.

2206087 Don't worry, I've got something in my mind for a sixth chapter, that's for sure. Y'all will be shocked.

2210903 Eenope. Fifth chapter is gonna be just fifth chapter. Sixth chapter is gonna be... well, not just some random sixth chapter, but Sixth Chapter.

I like how you included HL1 monsters in this. Tendril will be the new (albeit nicer) Angel. :twilightsmile:

And nice description of the zombies in pony form; I always wondered how that would look. Can't wait to read more! :pinkiehappy:

2218087 Thank you, JoJo! You know, I feel the same - can't wait to read more. :rainbowlaugh:

Wait, nobody found any references? Come on you guys!


...and the pants were dead. -John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brothers narrator

It had tobe done!

2252530 WAT. I will not be adding Shining Armor killing any pants, thank you very much. :twilightsmile:

Twilight Sparkle abandoned her slow and peaceful life in Ponyville and moved back to Canterlot for deep studies of magic with her beloved mentor and Princess. Little Skyla needed a foalsitter too. No matter how strong much it hurt, it needed to be done. (Why's that, exactly?)
Three years later Ponyville stops responding, along with some other towns east to Canterlot. All agents and soldiers sent are coming back wounded or not coming back at all. Now it`s Twilight`s time to deepen turn to head into the invaded and enslaved towns and to seek search for answers.

sooooo... is it going to be a new submission with this being taken down, or are you just going to delete the currently-up chapters and comments?

Login or register to comment