Five minutes ago, I ran to the machine’s control panel and prayed that the designers had made it as idiot-proof as possible. To my relief, it was, for all the buttons and controls were labeled. A press of one button caused massive crystals inside the machine to power up. A display came to life and showed an absurd array of programs to choose from.
There was a bang outside the amphitheater. Coin Counter and dozens of guards were working to get past the locked gates. At the rate they were hitting them with magic, it wouldn't take long.
Running to the amphitheater's control panel, I hit several buttons and activated the lockdown procedure, designed to be used when a patient was carrying an unknown disease, toxin, or parasite. Heavy doors slammed down across the exits, observation windows, and air vents. Five inches of steel and airtight plexiglass separated me from the idiots trying to deny me what was rightfully mine.
Tossing off my saddlebags, I went to the control panel and searched through the surgical procedures until I finally found what I was looking for: wing and horn transplants. The first was to be expected, but the latter was a surprise. Medicomp had apparently expected to eventually get horns and had created a program for when that happened.
I was going to be the first test subject.
I was sweating as I entered in the commands to do the wings first, and then the horn. I shook as I entered in the code for local anesthesia (general was out of the question; I had to get out immediately after the procedures were done), and selected the option for maximum-strength steroids and symbiotic fluid. And as I placed the wings and horn inside the machine’s designated chambers, I could feel my heart slamming against my ribs.
This was it. All those years of effort were finally about to come to fruition. All I had to endure was five minutes of surgery.
Just five short minutes.
The guards were still attacking the doors as I pressed the start button and got onto the table, settling into the designated grooves. Cuffs came out of the table and closed around my limbs, securing me in place. I gulped and closed my eyes as a needle came down and injected the anesthesia. Then the table flipped, the back panel opening to give the mechanical arms access to my shoulders.
A miniature buzz saw whirred to life. I closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing as I felt pressure upon my upper back, and the feeling of skin being sliced open and peeled backwards. Wet and heavy wing muscles came down on each shoulder blade, followed by ice-cold goop. That was Beakbreaker’s symbiotic fluid, designed to let lab-grown muscles attach themselves to natural tissue. With the muscles in place, rapid-fire needles attached everything to my bones, going with speed and precision that only magic could provide. At last, my skin was moved back into place and sewn shut.
There was so much joy at feeling the wings draped across my back. I wanted so flap them so badly, but I didn't. They had to settle and secure themselves, lest they rip themselves away once again.
The first set of doors was blown open and Coin Counter ran inside, only to find his path blocked by the second set of doors. I could barely hear him shout, but whether it was to me or to the guards, I didn't know.
I didn't care.
As the last stitches were secured, the table rotated itself so that I was on my back. I breathed deeply, giddy with excitement. I was halfway there.
That's when I first noticed the pain.
Confused, I wondered how the anesthesia could wear off so fast. Twisting my head, I looked to the various windows that allowed me to see the various chemicals and liquids inside the machine. One large bottle caught my eye; I recognized it from other surgeries I witnessed, for it was the bottle that contained anesthesia. And in what may have been the most horrifying moment of my life, I realized that - in my mad dash to activate the machine - I had failed to check how much anesthesia was inside.
I had used the last of it to attach the wings.
A headset unfolded and pressed itself against my skull, thick screws tightening themselves into position to keep my head from moving. Above me, the medical arms adjusted themselves, getting the correct instruments and equipment attached. Additional cuffs slid out, locking themselves around me so that I was immobilized.
At that point I was still in shock, which quickly gave way to the realization that I was about to undergo surgery without any anesthesia. I tried to find the emergency shut-off switch, but it was mounted near the control panel, meant for whoever was controlling the machine.
There was no way for me to stop it.
The program kicked in, and the needles began their descent.
I breathed deeply, trying to convince myself that I was brave. I had to focus on the end result, not the process. Just keep thinking about that horn. Keep visualizing it on my head. Keep thinking of that, and I would get through.
Just a few minutes of agonizing pain, and my dream would finally come true.
The needles continued down.
I closed my eyes and visualized myself leaping from the table with a horn and seeing all of Equestria clapping for me in awe of my achievement. Even the princesses were there, congratulating me for doing such a good job. Princess Celestia, in particular, put a hoof under my chin, smiling as she told me how proud she is.
A mechanical whine forced me back to reality.
I opened my eyes to see the needles just above my head.
I'm not afraid, I told myself, sweating more than I ever had in my life. I'm not afraid!
But even as I encouraged myself, something occurred to me: It's been said that when you're about to die, your life flashes before you. Good and bad alike are shown, and nothing is hidden. Like so many other ponies, I dismissed it as wishful thinking, nothing more than a literary device for books and movies. But as the needles descended towards my forehead, I had a sudden moment of clarity: There had been previous operations to transfer horns from one unicorn to another, but out of hundreds of attempts, less than a handful had succeeded. The majority ended with traumatic blood loss, nerve damage, and irreversible damage to the brain. Half of those surgeries had ended with the patient's death, which is why they were so rare. And now I was about to undergo a procedure twice as complicated and twice as risky, and would involve giving a horn to an Earth pony, something that had never been done before.
My odds of getting through the surgery alive or undamaged were practically non-existent.
Any bravado I had built vanished as I realized that I probably wasn’t going to survive.
The cuffs around my limbs held me in place as the mechanical arm descended, the needles glinting in the glare of lights above the table. I tried to be brave, to be defiant in the face of pain, to deny panic and not let it take control. But before panic came fear, and that fear momentarily took hold. I instinctively bucked, but the cuffs were too strong to break. I couldn't even move my head, for the braces screwed into it kept me completely immobile. It had to, lest the machine make a mistake and destroy my brain.
I couldn't run away. I couldn't call for help, for there was nothing anyone could do. I couldn't do anything but watch as the needles got closer, closer, ever closer.
And then they hit.
The thick needles went through skin. The white-hot pain made me shriek as warm blood trickled down my face, forcing me to blink to keep it out of my eyes. It helped distract me from the horrible sensation of sharp metal piercing muscle, bone, and then the soft, squishy tissue beneath. I bit down, squeezing my eyes shut as the plungers came down with a soft hiss and pumped a chemical cocktail into my brain. There was no pain, but I felt the thick goop sloshing under my skull, moving, spreading, and growing.
Then the needles were yanked free. Blood flowed, mixing with sweat. The pain was awful, but the fear was worse, because I knew what was coming next.
The needles retracted, and the mechanical arm moved away. In its place a new arm came down. At the tip was a huge drill specially designed to cut through bone. The blades glistened as the drill came to life, giving the high pitched squeal of a dentist's drill, but far louder.
There was no anesthesia, no drugs to numb the pain that was coming.
I sweated. I shook. I tried to hold back the fear... and I failed.
Oh Celestia, please, not that! I thought, any ideas of glory, or fulfilling my dream long gone. I don’t want this! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!
Blind panic took over. Rational thought and logic was replaced with animal instincts, and my body thrashed, adrenaline giving my limbs and muscles increased strength. The screws on the cuffs creaked as every muscle in my body thrust to their limits, then went past them as I fought to get away, but it wasn't enough. The cuffs were too strong, and the braces were screwed in too tightly.
I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to watch, like a child hoping the monsters couldn't get you if you hid under the covers of your warm bed. But all the darkness in the world couldn't protect me as the drill finally hit and began to cut, the blade in no hurry to finish its job.
I couldn't hold it back any longer. I screamed. I screamed as skin was sliced away, revealing muscle and flesh below, and then the white of my skull. I screamed as blood gushed from my skull and coated my face before pouring onto the table.
There were no thoughts, no pleas, no desire to escape.
There was only pain.
I heard Coin Counter screaming at the guards to get in inside, even as he tried firing spell after spell at the door, but it was for naught. Even magic couldn't get through the barriers.
Nothing could save me from the drill that finally finished cutting, pausing only for a pair of pincers to yank out a chunk of my skull and drop it to the table, where it bounced off and hit the floor before the drill continued downwards.
That was the breaking point. My body and soul, couldn't take anymore. I was losing too much blood, and the pain overwhelmed me. My brain shut down, no longer wanting to bear witness to the nightmare.
Things went dark. Sounds faded away. The pain dimmed. But I could still feel the blood, the weakness, and the sensation of fading away into nothingness.
The realization hit me: This was it. And through the fear, and before oblivion, a single thought broke through.
How did it come to this?
***
That was a moment ago. And now I've learned that the stories were true; you do see your life flashing before you as you die. All of it, both good and bad. And I just finished.
There's nothing left. Nothing but oblivion before me, and a single sliver connecting me to life, but I don't know how long it will hold... and I don't want it to.
It's so clear to me now: I thought I could do it. I thought I could get a horn. I've sacrificed so much to get it, but what have I gotten in return? Nothing but pain and suffering, a cycle that repeats over and over no matter what I do. And if I live, what awaits me? Even if I survive the surgery, I’ll have to face the legal consequences of trying to get the horn and wings, which will lead to ruin, bankruptcy, and prison time. I'll come out a broken pony with nothing left, abandoned by all, and with my beloved wings and horn taken from me. I'll live the rest of my life knowing that I achieved my dream, only to see it taken from me.
My entire purpose , my only reason for living, will have been for nothing.
Death sounds better.
Death is closing in. I can feel the darkness taking me, embracing me like a warm blanket that will keep me safe. There'll be no more pain, no more struggling, no more misery or suffering. Only endless, dreamless rest. And in light of the alternative, I want nothing more than to surrender to it and fall away forever.
I feel myself drifting away from life. Part of me wants to go, part of me wants to stay... but why? Everyone will keep telling me that my dreams were never to be. They'll berate me, put me down, call me evil. And if I die, they will see what they did to me.
I'm fading away.
I don't try to stop myself.
Let them suffer. Let them all weep as they realize the magnitude of their folly and stupidity. It was because of them that my dreams were never to be.
Dreams...
Wait... Wait, this isn't... This isn't right.
It can't end like this. It can't.
It's not fair.
How many other ponies follow their dreams, only to give up and quit? I didn't. Even when I experienced failure, I didn't give up. Is this to be my reward for all my efforts? Oblivion?
No... it’s not fair. It's not fair! It can't end like this, not after everything I've sacrificed! It can't!
I'm not going to die here! I'm not going to let it end like this, not here, and not now!
I blink. I'm back in the auditorium. I'm soaked with blood, and my nerves are frayed, but I'm alive. I can still feel the pain, and it’s terrible beyond anything I've ever endured, but I don’t care, even as the drill continues to cut into me.
“Come on!” I yell at the machine. “Come on!”
The drill finally cuts through and retracts, leaving a hole for blood to pour out. Above, a mechanical arm descends, the horn held within its grasp. That beautiful horn is pressed through the hole and onto my goop-covered brain. Sensors scan the gap between the horn and my skull, and determine that there's a gap that must be filled. A liquid is poured on, and a small nozzle fires a concentrated blast of heat to harden it. It feels like my head is on fire, and I roar in defiance.
“Do it!” I scream.
The goo hardens, and more gets spread on top to create a smooth, seamless bond between horn and skull; that too, is hardened. I feel the steroid-infused symbiotic goop bonding the horn to my brain, building new tissue and nerves, bringing forth the searing pain of birth.
“DO IT!”
One final jolt of pain slams through my skull, and I scream.
Something hot shoots from my head and hits the fire sensors. With a bang, the sprinklers go off and water pours down, drenching me and everything in the room.
Everything goes silent.
The drill retracts, as do the needles and the arms. Motors whir, and the table tilts upwards, displaying me to the ponies behind the door. Through the blood in my eyes, I see them freeze. Even Coin Counter has stopped, barely able to believe what he's seeing.
The screws upon my head loosen, and the headset retracts. The cuffs around my body release themselves. I slide off the table and collapse to the floor. The pooled blood drains off and slides down my back as I lie upon the tiles.
I'm tired. Oh, sweet Celestia, I'm so tired. I don't want to get up. I want to sleep.
There's feeling from my back. I can feel my wings. They’re stretched out on the floor besides me, water sliding off the wings. And my head… there’s an unfamiliar heaviness there.
I open my eyes. Everything's fuzzy and hard to see. I struggle to rise, fighting to gain every inch until I stand upon my front legs, water washing the last of the blood away like rain in early spring.
I stagger to the closest mirror. I have to see them, have to see for myself that it worked. Wiping the water from my eyes, I see myself in the mirror. I look as exhausted as I feel. I shouldn't even be standing after what’s happened. But in the reflection I see that a pair of wings lies upon my back...
...and a horn lying upon my head.
I stare at my reflection.
I giggle.
I start to laugh.
I did it... I actually did it.
All the years of struggling, all the pain, fear, and misery are instantly forgotten as I finally see my dream come true.
I'm an alicorn.
I laugh, and all fatigue vanishes as I leap back. It worked! It worked, it worked, it worked! Oh Celestia, I want to do is dance and sing and jump and shout for joy, and show the world what I've become. And I will! A whole world waits for me outside; the only question is, how do I get out of here? The place is still sealed shut... But an alicorn wouldn’t be barricaded inside a room. Would Princess Celestia let herself be trapped by mere doors? Never!
I have no idea how to shoot magic, but from what I remember during my research trips to the library, unicorns have to concentrate on what they want and focus their willpower to achieve it. I imagine a blast of energy coming from my horn. It's so much harder than I imagined, and I have to focus all my thoughts towards making a magical blast, seeing it grow stronger in my mind’s eye. When I think it’s strong enough, I let go, and a blast of vibrant green energy shoots out and hits the wall, leaving a dent.
I jump, clapping my hooves in delight. It's not much, but it's the result of magic. My magic!
I send out another blast, and the dent begins to crack. Then I hold the magic for almost a minute before letting go, releasing a massive blast that blows away the entire wall. I run to the resulting hole and look out to the city below. Even with the rainfall, a large crowd has gathered below; apparently, word of what was really happening must have spread, for there are a few photographers flying about, and they dart towards the hole. And even in the glow of the building's lights, I can see them recognize me, unable to believe what they're seeing.
I stand on my hind legs, spread my wings, and give the biggest smile of my life as I pose for them. It takes them a moment to realize they've been given the photo opportunity of a lifetime, and snap photo after photo. But as gratifying as it is to pose for them, I have far too many things to do besides hang around here.
Ducking back inside, I grab my saddlebags and strap them on. Looking back to the guards and Coin Counter, I grin and wave. I don't have any animosity towards any of them. How could I after what's happened?
I flex my wings. They feel strong enough to support my weight. With a sprint, I leap through the hole, catch the wind, and fly. There's a jolt of pain, but hey, I can handle that.
I soar above Manehattan, whooping and screaming, letting the world hear my joy, letting it feel my bliss.
My dream, at long last, has finally come true.
Silverspeak... you're insane. Temporarily successful, but insane, nonetheless...
Well that was quite the refreashing read just before bedtime....
I can only assume that everything goes swimmingly for the old boy.
stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/2171650/white-sox-world-series-win-o.gif Literally my reaction, and how momentous this chapter reveal was.
its going to end so badly for him.
If he can cast heal-spells like that, without any training...
Couldn't he keep the horn and wings alive that way?
It does sound like a one-way trip to abomination-ville, and it seems clearer and clearer Silver Speech's story will end one way or the other with interference from the Princesses.
But the half-crazy bastard would do it with a smile, wouldn't he? Better to burn out, then to fade away and all that...
Huh, you know, after every time he was set back I would immediately think about how much I want him to overcome his obstacles and achieve his end goal.
Now that he's reached it, I just think that it isn't going to last, and I don't know if I want it to, for whatever reason.
...
I think I'm going to hurl.
I'm pretty sure the main reason the wings are working and he's able to walk and fly is the horn.
It's supposed to have magic so strong it let it's previous owner live for thousands of years, so it keeping him alive now is probably the result of that.
But what will that power do to his already unstable mind?
And I wonder if he's going to see BeakBreaker soon?
Waiting for the other shoe to drop... and horseshoes make quite a dent when they do.
Let the poor boy have his dream. Dont screw him over too hardwhen this backfires! Please?
The fallout, now the fallout will be unique to this, and yet, for all the dreams of icarus in this chance. He has for one true moment, reached to dance amongst the sky as the divine might. Free, unbound, primal, he has a chance to live his dream, in the brief moments before divinity is stolen, for the gods are cruel creatures, in and of what they do to any mortal whom can get close to their perfection. Look to promethius, the fire bringer, for daring help man, he is tortured, harmed, and subject to the worst debasements the gods could devise.
I feel bad for silverspeak, but in the end, he has found a happiness, a moment of peace. And nothing in the world will take that from him, though all will try.
THIS CHAPTER WAS AWESOME!!!
I just can't get over how epic it was!
I SWEAR, THIS IS THE BEST CHAPTER YET!!!
Forget everything bad I said about Silverspeak! I'm actually super-happy for him, and I hope that he can keep his new augments!
O_o Wow. I really can't count the amount of times I've raved over this story.
I love this! He's finally did it and it's so cute and I love how he's gone sort of insane and all it's so cute! :3
3137219 Yes, I have trouble with this story in my Favorites as well, wonder why?
He's like Frankenstein's monster and the good doctor himself rolled into one, with the redeeming traits of neither. Still, I won't lie. I got a thrill out of reading about how he has succeeded despite the best efforts of others to stop him, sort of like watching Light Yagami from Death Note.
Awesome chapter, im VERY interested to see where you go from here.
Why do I feel like he still needs to wake up from the surgery?.....
At this point I can't help but wonder just why that creature down in the tunnels was giggling so horribly. Was it because it thought it would eat pony flesh, or was it because it knew a far worse fate belonged to the one who stole the horn of the king?
I've got an idea of what is going to happen, but I don't want to spoil anything. I will say things are seeming a bit dreamlike right now, maybe the reality of what he's seeing isn't quite right. I await the concluding chapters with bated breath, anxious to see the fallout of our protagonist's latest brazen actions.
Oh and don't forget to complement the artist, and remind her that
Ann lies.
Let's see: 5-minute DIY surgery without checking that there is enough anaesthetic; attach horn from evil unicorn king when you know it might be responsible for corrupting the king, and would likely have insane power, hence deliberately risking Equestria. Silverspeak, you are completely .
I have a feeling that it will be Celestia that intervenes. As for the flying part, wouldn't his wing muscles rip out like the mare who got the first ones?
Then Silverspeak gets arrested and spends the rest of his life in jail. The end.
So they were turning after all, those cameras. Life, which can be strangely merciful, had taken pity on Silverspeak. The dream he had clung to so desperately had enfolded him...
No seriously, I want to be happy for him, but I have no reason to believe this pair of wings will last any longer than the last.
I've been following this for a while. I'm really sad that we haven't seen a lot of Beakbreaker. I loved her, and "I Destroyed Your Dream" was awful. Poor Beakbreaker. I loved the creepy feel of "Darkness" and found my heart beating quickly as I read.
I don't know what Silvertongue is thinking. Usually he is smart enough, but this is crazy. I expected his wings to give out on him when he took off. He's a great character. He seems villainous, but at the same time his motives appear innocent enough because he wholeheartedly believes he isn't doing anything wrong. I love it.
Your worldbuilding is also great. I love your descriptions of all the medical technology. You've definitely have had an impact on my headcannon.
Anyways, keep up the good work!
3153022 If I was forcefully turned into an alicorn, i'd be blue or green.
after chapters and chapters of suffering, it's great to see him finally reach his goal, his dream, his everything. I really really want to see a happy ending to this. :C
this is like the first chapter in forever that didn't make me sad/upset and send me in a zombie dreamer state for the next two days.
about one step away from death threats :L
3137325
3137513
I suppose he could try to keep his wings alive using magic, but he probably couldn't do it for long, the whole thing being a closed loop system that would inevitably cave in on itself. And that's if he could manage to get to a high-level of healing ability. But given the choice between going out fast or languishing for long, I think Silverspeak would definitly chose to go out like a legend.
3137683
The horn does indeed have a bit more "oomph" then normal horns, but it's like the One Ring: it amplifies whatever native power you have, it doesn't make you invincible, and if you're not careful it'll drive you batty.
3137935
Hmmm...
3139163
Yay! Thanks!
3139714
Someone who's cute when they're insane? Never heard that before!
3141488
That's an interesting way of putting it!
3141926
Thank you!
3142757
In my mind, the creature in the tunnels isn't quite smart enough to have concepts of curses or something similar, so it was mainly delighted at chasing something that it could torment and toy with before eating it.
3144268
Normally, yes, but Silverspeak has the advantage of having wings before, so his body does remember them, and he used the maximum-strength symbiotic goop infused with steroids, whereas Medicomp only used normal amounts, not wanting to rush anything. That maximum dose pretty much bonds the muscles to the body like fast-acting concrete, but whether it will hold everything together in the long term is anyone's guess.
3147876
Wow, thank you so much for writing all that! I feel really good reading that, especially when you said I impacted your headcannon! That's one of the highest compliments any fanfic writer can ever receive!
3153513
Yay! Glad to hear it!
Wow. Just... Wow. What an escalation. This turned from a mental trainwreck into an asteroid collision.
I can't wait for the conclusion, though I fear it might be somewhat like this.
3162140
You make fluttershy cry!
WHY ISN'T THIS FEATURED
IT'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL
Please keep writing for the rest of your life. You have a gift
I would imagine trying to surgically become an alicorn would be about as successful as Randy Marsh having surgery to become a dolphin.
It SHOULD have failed, as do all delusions.
3177728
If you follow that logic, anyone with low self esteem and self worth willing to do anything to change it, would be euthanized. I've read your comments around and you seem a bit full of yourself, where others like me can relate to exactly how this character feels. Sure I'm not going to go out and do what he did (possible or not) but..the feelings are there.
Ill keep the rest of what I feel and how I think about your reaction to myself. To each their own I suppose.
3177766
What he means that if he has nothing to lose BY FIGHTING, then he becomes extremely dangerous. That's pretty much true, put anyone in a situation where they have nothing to lose by attacking you, and you'd better watch out. It gets even more dangerous if they have everything to lose by NOT fighting.
As for Silverspeak, you have no idea how much I can relate to this character, he's been broken due to a messed-up childhood with unbelievably sick bullying (I have different issues in my own life), and most, if not all, of his crimes would involve temporary insanity. It's amazing how much the author makes this character so lovable. Dem feels.
The thing is, Silverspeak is panicked, insane, illogical, and cannot stop catastrophising about jail. Of course he's going to do crazy stuff like DIY surgery to escape when he's this badly messed up. Speaking from first-hand experience, I can tell you mental health issues are no joke, and you don't want to be someone with a shattered mind, trust me.
OwowowowowowowOWWWWWWWWWWWW! I nearly puked thanks to that excruciatingly detailed surgery description.
3162521
Thank you! I'll do my best!
3163744
It definitely won't be a happy walk into the sunset, that's for sure.
3166605
No! It's not my aim to have Fluttershy cry!
3167837
Uhm...wow!
3170717
Oh, thank you! I intend to!
3177766
I think it can go both ways, but that one quote was inspired by a story I heard about; whether it's true or not, I thought it was quite intriguing. To quote TV Tropes: