• Member Since 27th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Apr 1st, 2014

tokyooranges


T

Applejack wakes up the morning after her birthday party with a killer hangover, wings and a horn. She has no recollection of the night before, and no idea how to deal with her new found appendages and abilities. This simple apple farmer from Ponyville will have to learn to tame them or risk losing those which she holds most dear.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 29 )

Haha that was fun... I fear if any other ponies get alicorn status though lol

I worry as to what will happen when I saw the dark tag but the summary got my attention anyway. Second time I've see an Alicorn Applejack but from the start of this I know it will be different. It's a good start and I'm will keep an eye on it for now, I want to know what happened and what will Her Serene and Her Tranquil Majesties will think about another Alicorn.

In the Name of Her Serene Majesty,
Celestia's Paladin, For Honor and Duty, For the Sun and Moon

Interesting, if a bit rushed, imho. You should reduce the pace-of story, story telling and dialogues alike. Otherwise it is a solid 4 (though I never rate this early. We need to see more). Overall, this story is somewhat unique because of 'Applicorn', and is not written half-bad. With the only major drawback-you hurry too much. You still have a way to go, though, but I know you can do it! Looking forward to continuation, and I am sorry I lack skills to critique properly.
A question-it is tagged dark. Is it grimdark-dark? Will we see death and stuff, or is it just because of the mood? I sure hope it's the latter.

145987
thanks for the feedback! I've always found pacing to be something I've had an issue with. I'm trying to slow myself down, I'll probably edit this one so it goes a little slower before I start typing up chapter two. Don't worry, I'm not going grimdark or anything with this (They should really put a separate grimdark tag on this site). Nopony is going to die or anything, but this isn't going to be 100% super happy funshine time.

MOaR I need MOaR

I wonder if you could alicornify the other mane 6. That would be horribly AWEsOMe!!! :rainbowdetermined2:

152313
I Don't have any plans to turn any of the others into alicorns, at least not in this story. Perhaps when I finish this one, I'll do stories about the others as Alicorns. Not 100% on that though. I did AJ because it just seems like it would turn her life the most upsidedownface... :ajbemused:
and the least likely since she is so er, normal (well in the context of the trope Badass Normal at least) compared to the other ponies.

On another note... I did add a bit to this chapter, changed some of the dialogue. fixed a few errors. and hoping to get the next chapter up by this Thursday at the latest. :pinkiehappy:

153088
I see... Well then good sir (or lady), we are awaiting next chappy! :moustache:

Thursday at the latest... :(

Sorry about the late upload but real life is wonderfully skilled at thwarting deadlines. :derpyderp2:

164233
Ya, I know.
Good day.:moustache:

Another interesting chapter. And I understand the thing about life thwarting deadlines. Although in my case I am also battling with my coming and going inspiration..:derpyderp2:

Strange. Very strange. This sounds alot like a idea I've seen tossed around on SB's.

You get a track and a yay.:yay:
Now please make longer chapters. This was very short. 3.5/5 on account of the extreme shortness.

164555
Over 1300 words and short :rainbowhuh:?
500 is short.
More than 1000 isn't.:twilightsheepish:
Good day.:moustache:

Awesome. Compared to the first chapter, this is brilliant. Flowed a lot better. Still, it is not perfect. Typos are the worst. While never too much of a trouble, they still get in reader's way. Other than that I can only suggest adding more lines to characters, that are present. Rarity and RD just kept silent, and it is not cool.
Oh, and about chapter delay- I think I'd speak for majority if I said, that it is only bad because of uncertainty-so many good fics get abandoned half-way, that even a minor delay makes us worry about future fate of your story. But look at it the other way-if people are watching publishing time so closely, it means they enjoy it!
Good luck with your next chapter, this is an interesting premise!

Hmm I really like the idea you're going with (again thank Celestia it wasn't pinkie, we'd all be screwed then, lol)

However, you might want to proofread a little more I noticed a few spelling errors here and there (wins instead of wings was one that really stuck out to me)

Thanks for the comments everyone!
I've fixed the spelling mistakes on it and added a bit more. I'm glad you're liking it so far and putting up with my mistakes. I'm thinking of finding a Pre-reader to hopefully avoid any more mistakes :derpyderp2:
I don't have a exact date set for the next chapter, but I'm going to try and release one chapter a week.

First? Of course I am, it's 7:02 AM.

The plot thickens...

Aww yeah, I'm reading this at the Ottawa airport!

Darn it! Why do all the alicorn stories have to have a dark side to them? I still like it, it's just :applecry: that.

Oh well still reading

Take 100 stars from me
even though I can give you only 5 in reality:ajbemused:

cant wait to see what transpires after this chapter. looks promising.

What about Dashie magic?! Isn't that strong? Who else can make sonic booms and rainbows appear at once?!

i gave this a review (all three chapters) on fanfiction. it's a really good story. i only wish I'd joined this site and posted my views here first.:pinkiehappy:

putting them on fanfiction has made answering questions from certain non-brony :twilightsheepish:friends who don't know I'm a brony difficult.:twilightsheepish:

still, great story and look forward to what happens next:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

"Alright, Cutie Mark Crusaders! First order of business is where we're gonna build the new pal—"
Applejack staggered up the ramp into the clubhouse, blubbering like a filly, only to come face to face with a shocked looking Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.
"Oh raht," Applejack said, sniffling miserably and wiping her nose, "Forgot y'all used this clubhouse now."

Just tittle yourself as the farm princess and you'll be fine, those pesky nobles would see it as your position or whatever and not go near the farm becasue of their stuck up attitude.

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