Big Mac Becomes an Alicorn

by Fox in a Box

Today

The hulking stallion tossed another bale of hay onto the wagon, muscles rippling, mane glistening with the sweat that signified yet another day of dutiful work. He wiped his brow. Unassuming green eyes scanned the orchard that encircled him, bathed in swathes of golden sunlight, which struck the trees and cast long, dark shadows across the short green grass. He took a whiff of the indulgent scent that permeated the sweet air, an aromatic concoction of succulent apples and fresh greenery.

And so completed another day of arduous work for Big Macintosh. The last bale of hay had been loaded onto the wagon, and all that was left for him to do was to buckle himself in and trudge on back to the barn with it in tow. After the sun had beat down on it all day, the steel saddle was burning white hot. But Mac shrugged off the pain and strapped himself in in spite of it.

In a nonchalant way, Mac chewed on his piece of hay. He pulled the wagon down the dirt path that snaked its way through the grass, the wheels sinking into the ruts that had formed after frequented trips in and out of the orchard. The surly stallion lugged the load along; it was never a long trip back to the barn.

A warm and friendly breeze rustled the leaves, creating a natural symphony that swam through the orchard to perfectly complement its crisp colors. Mac smirked a smirk that he normally wore after the realization of a long day’s end kicked in. He whistled to himself, a melody that harmonized well with the dancing leaves. The normally uncharismatic stallion appeared contented to be headed home, and why not? Working himself to the bone could only be remedied by a comfortable chair and a glass of cider. He continued his whistling.

Suddenly, Big Mac’s wagon struck a hump in the road, and rocked the wagon. The bump was subtle, but enough to send one of the bales of hay tumbling over the side. Mac came to a reluctant stop and sighed deeply.

He unstrapped himself from the wagon’s restraint. With a frown he swung around the outside of the wagon to the spot where the bale had fallen... or where he figured it to have.

There, he took pause. His frown deepened. Where... had the bale of hay gone?

Certain it had fallen, Mac performed a quick check of the wagon. He looked under it, behind it, and on the other side. Uncertain, he checked under it once more.

Eenope.

It had disappeared into thin air, like a magic trick without the magician. Perhaps it had fallen through the plane of existence, just exited through the landscape. But Mac had a head that was fixed firmly to his neck. Things don’t just disappear. He was a rational stallion, and nothing out of the ordinary ever fazed or perplexed him, save the occasional spider in the bathroom which scared him shitless.

And so, sensing that he had been mistaken, Mac shrugged his shoulders and moved on.

But as he trotted back around the wagon once more, something halted him, and left him disconcerted. There in front of him, something that he could not have missed on the first trip around, was the bale of hay that had fallen.

Mac’s brow furrowed. He was certain that this bale had not been there before... he would have tripped over it. Perhaps it was another that had fallen just now. Strange that the occurrence had been inaudible, but it was still plausible.

Mac moved to haul the thing back onto the wagon. He bent down to bite hold of the rope that held the bale together and toss it back on. But curiously, as if by some supernatural force, something stopped him from doing so. He stayed leaned over the bale of hay, isolated in thought, set adrift by some unseen power. Then, timidly, warily, he backed away from the bale, and looked to it from a good ten hoofsteps out.

What he saw had perhaps been an event unforeseen. The bale of hay had, inexplicably, and don’t freak out here... sprouted eyes.

Big Mac went wide eyed, and visibly trembled as he came to terms with the now sentient being in his midst. Only, he didn’t really come to terms. One... couldn’t really come to terms with a living bale of hay.

“Eeyup,” Mac uttered shakily, for what do words truly provide in an extraordinary situation such as this?

His hooves were shackled to the earth. All that the poor, positively floored stallion could do was watch in abject horror as what was once a normal pile of hay turned into a, well, normal pile of hay with a face screwed wrongly into it. This was far worse than finding spiders in the bathroom.

By some unwarranted miracle, a hay bale had sprung to life here in the orchard. And after a strenuous and complicated process of getting the design of its face correct (the mouth goes under the eyes)... it cleared the throat it didn’t possess.

Then, calmly, assertively, and in a manner that you perhaps wouldn’t expect from a bale of hay... it spoke to him.

“Hey there,” it said in a dark, cool voice that could very well make any a conceited mare swoon over it. That is, if the thing weren’t a hay bale. “You must be Big Macintosh?”

Mac could only nod his head in the manner of an old and dysfunctional rocking chair.

“Well, you certainly live up to your namesake,” said the hay bale. “Um... either you put the thing away or you move me to a higher location, if you could.”

Embarrassed, well, proud but embarrassed, Mac agreed to lift the hay bale up onto the wagon. Awkwardly, he crossed over to where it lay on the ground, bit hold of the rope and turned to, gently, set it down on the back of the wagon.

“Wonderful,” the hay bale said, apparently contented to be rested atop the wagon. “Now, let’s cut right to the chase, because I bet you’re wondering how this whole situation came to be, hm?”

Mac again nodded his head in a crooked fashion.

“Right, well, let’s not beat around the bush then. I’m a demon, and I’ve come to put a curse on you.”

Hm.

Mac had a sort of thousand yard stare, an intense and focused stare that peered straight through the hay bale, the wagon, the dirt beneath it. His eyes appeared to be fixated on something that simply wasn’t there.

“Hey, buddy.” The hay bale performed a strange, unproductive hop to grab Mac’s attention. “Hey, you don’t have to worry, friend. This is a fun curse, not one of those weird one’s that witches do. Witches are bitches, remember that.”

Mac shook his head strongly and returned to a conscious state.

“Yeah. We don’t have a rhyme for demons yet, but so long as you know the difference, we’ll be just fine.”

There came no response.

“You aren’t a very talkative fellow, are you?” asked the hay bale.

“Eenope,” Mac replied.

If a hay bale could frown, it did. “Is... is there a reason for that?” it asked.

Mac, expressionless, shook his head side to side.

“Hm,” the hay bale said in a thought-provoking manner. “Well, if you wanna talk about it, I’m here for you man. Demons are fairly effective listeners.”

Mac only gazed through the thing once more.

“Right. The curse. What I came for,” the hay bale said. “Do you like curses?”

Mac shrugged his shoulders. How the hell should he know?

“Okay, okay. That was a silly question. I’d just like to assure you that the process is totally safe, really. There is no cause for alarm.”

Mac had his head cocked to the side and gave a look of confusion. A curse... set on him... for reasons unexplained. Just because the demon could do it. He wondered if it actually did hurt when casted. What would it feel like? What was going to happen to him?

“And, if you must know,” the demon continued. “I’ve already casted it. You might have felt a sensation similar to a pinprick, or maybe a chilled feeling when you lifted me from the ground.” The hay bale smile endearingly, which was a feature unbefitting of it. “That was it!”

Upon hearing the news, Mac looked around him to see if he noticed anything irregular or abnormal about himself or the world he stood in. Nothing struck him as obscene; in fact, nothing appeared to have changed at all.

“Oh, uh, don’t worry. It set in,” the hay bale assured him. “It simply takes a while to heat up. It’s sort of like your off-brand allergy medication. You know, doesn’t work for hours on end.”

Mac sort of had a sudden realization of the fact that this isn’t how he imagined a demon to behave or appear at all. It had simply caught him entirely off guard. The demon was... at first glance, a pleasant demon. It was strangely euphoric, to know that even demons, a word associated with treachery and evil, could play nice.

Mac was aloof in thought. Nothing between the two was said for a good minute. As he pondered, Mac hadn’t the slightest clue that he had been rudely staring at the demon through the entirety of their one-sided conversation.

“Well, this has been... awkward,” said the hay bale finally. “Okay, listen. Let’s just head on back to the barn. I suggest you have a glass of water before you go to bed, and then make sure you sleep. Otherwise the transformation will be horrifically and unbearably painful. Got it?”

Mac’s euphoric feeling was suddenly and uncomfortably replaced by a feeling of unabated fear. Transformation? An inexorable transformation sounded quite the opposite to that of a “fun curse”.

“Hey, buddy? Can you take us back now?”

Mac, shaken, only nodded his head. There was nothing he could do about it now.

The trembling stallion strapped himself into the restraint jutting out from the front of the wagon. Without looking back, but with a demeanor full of uncertainty, he pulled the wagon through the orchard, back to the barn. This time, his wagon did not strike any stray rocks or humps in the road.

- - -

That night, Big Mac did not go to bed satiated by a tall glass of water. Instead, he tucked himself in with a few warm shots of hard cider, and it regrettably churned in his belly.

Incredibly, but with good judgement, he did wind up falling fast asleep. His eyelids slipped down over his emerald green eyes like many a night before. It was by choice, as he could not remedy his predicament in any other way. He would have to survey the damages and make the appropriate reparations tomorrow, a day he both fretted and anxiously awaited.

This... would be chaos.

And in his sleep, a slumber that was forced upon him, something invisible to him, something dark and twisted watched in anticipation.

Outside his window, while he slept, a pair of unnatural eyes peered in. They drifted in the darkness disturbingly, appeared to smile radically into the room. They flitted there in the dark for a good while. Then, unsettlingly, a maniacal and ill-minded chortle bled through the thin window pane. The eyes dissipated, and a snake-like beast with wings and a dragon’s tail fled into the eerie blackness.

Author's Note:

Want to find out what Big Mac's extraordinary day is like tomorrow? Of course you do! Rate and favorite to find out!

This will be FUNTASTIC.

Comments

[totallynotabrony]

Demons are mean ones.

Eh, poor rhyme, but you asked.

This will be funnier if Mac becomes a mare somewhere along the way.

[Martian]

i.imgur.com/5gv57.gif

[Mr Stargazer]

That's hilarious......

also
lizziedakittie.deviantart.com/art/Alicorn-Big-Mac-283240481

[A mess]

Lol, I just commented somewhere not to long ago that big mac seems to be one of those that never gets hit with the alicorn stick, I also like how you managed to get past that little issue of the big red brutes dialog barrier.

I think I will wait a bit farther down the line before I settle on a fav but I will thumb this up and keep a watch on it.

[The Redbeard]

Well...
That was a rather, creative and interesting way of explaining the incoming zaniness.
Not to mention the sheer bluntness of the "demon." That really caught me off guard.
Add into the fact that it is BIG MACINTOSH who will be undergoing "Alicornification" instead of one of the Mane 6...
...or some other side character...
...
...
This will be interesting.

Now, as for grammar and spelling errors...

...dang. Good job.

[Pixels]

Ask here if you can use his image.

[RaisingShad0ws]

MOAR Please?

[MLP BRONY 27]

okay... give me moar please

[FeignedSincerity]

Well, you certainly live up to your namesake

media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly3xpf6ojh1r3zat8.jpg

[Fox in a Box]

1960185 The thing is, the rhyme is supposed to be used to see demons in a positive light. So demons can't be bad!

Also, I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

1960190

1960258 ANOTHER!

1960370 Certainly, thanks for keeping track!

1960385 Interesting is the word. Yes. That's the word, no doubt.

1960394 Oh hay! I'll be certain to ask!

1960405 Your wish will be granted!

1960423 Done and done!

1960444 Thanks for your interest!

1960504

[cloudranger]

Someone should do a big mac becomes an alicorn in a similar manner of seriousness to Appletheosis or something (or one of the other AJ alicorn fics. To be honest he'd fit it more (in my mind an immortal would be very quiet, only speaking when necessary or when they feel the energy too, very world weary and soft spoken, also understanding of where he fits in in the grand scheme of things) in my opinion better than Jappleack. Would love a fic like that. Thought this looks like it has some promise for interesting entertainment.

[Xinrick]

this looks AWESOME cant wait for more

[PinkPearl]

please write more tomorrow?

[Cobalt the Kitsune]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN *rabidly foams at the mouth*

[fluttershywriter]

This is brilliant.

[Appletastic]

I had to click when I saw the title, and boy, was it worth it.
That was just excellent. The writing is excellent, the concept is excellent, the dialogue is excellent, everything is excellent.
I'm looking forwards to seeing more excellence.

One small grammatical error, though:

which struck the trees and cast long, dark shadows across the short green grass.

You'd put casted here, rather than cast. Cast is the correct past tense of cast.

[The Kings Man]

Wow, the first story of it's kind or so far as I know. Interesting concept, I like it.

[Circuit Link]

funtasteek und manufeek!

[Fox in a Box]

1960616 I could see that. I could see that. I couldn't really go into a long fic such as that for this, but that would be good.

1960696 It's going to be fun!

1960772 lol the new chapter won't come out tomorrow but soon!

1960773 Alicorns!

1960911 Goodness, thanks so much for reading! I'm happy you enjoy it so far!

1961154 Thanks for the correction! And for the read as well

1961217 Thanks!

1961478 Thank you!

[hamcon]

Wow, I like that demon, he seems fun, I would allow him to put a curse on me, as long as it isn't painful.

[Fox in a Box]

1962394 It isn't painful as long as you fall asleep.

haha

[kingtiger666]

I have literally no idea what the curse is gonna be! It's so suspenseful!

[nemryn]

1960185
I mean, being an alicorn automatically makes you a Princess, right?

[MyWorld93]

This will be interesting... mostly because I'm curious what your going to do with it. I always end up with romantic comedy when I think about it.

Good luck.

[Aurum]

1960185 I'd rather him to just himself...but as an Alicorn! Think of how all the mares, even the Princesses would react! They would instantly crown him King!

[lunarstallion]

This won't end well...

[elmagnifico]

I'll be waiting on the update here and reserve judgement until then. Soliciting favorable reviews and favorites has put me off being lenient however. You're going to have to earn that thumbs up, buster.

[Fox in a Box]

1963587

1963960 Shhhhhhh...

1964051 Good luck is a phrase that I'll need particularly, thank you.

1964164 Oh man... CelestiaMac... the possibilities...

1964208 No.

1964653 That is completely fair, thank you for your interest

[Majik]

This fic has 111 thumbs up, and ZERO thumbs down! That's unbelievable!

[Mysterious Stranger]

Mac could only nod his head in the manner of an old and dysfunctional rocking chair.

I'm just loving the metaphors in your story, and the wording in general. Its like... cake... for the eyes.

[Festive Sombrero]

That hay of stack reminds me of bominomicon

[Fox in a Box]

1967597 Must be a sign from the gods...

1967873 Gee, thanks! I truly appreciate that

1967898 I honestly don't know what that is...

[Festive Sombrero]

1968394 just look him up

[Hurgusburgus]

Daemons are, uh... neato?

[the_sane_maniac]

That is how I would think of myself as a daemon. You are pretty much immortal and you feed on symbiotic relationships with others. No need to be a dick about it right?

[TheFierySkyMare]

Possible Discord? And I can't wait to read more!

[Fox in a Box]

1968880 Heheh, we'll have to keep trying

1969013 Right? I mean, there's no need to be so brash about things.

1969130 Haha, okay

1969203 Sounds good!

[thegooddr.]

Eyup

[Hurgusburgus]

1969523

Fiddlesticks.

[SeventhBrony]

helllo DISCORD
really though of ALL the ponies around the MLP universe Big Mac is probably the one least likely to buck shit up, thinks to much to do that, gentle giant that he is
waiting for more

[TypewriterError]

“Hey there,” it said in a dark, cool voice that could very well make any a conceited mare swoon over it. That is, if the thing weren’t a hay bale.

I think that line made me laugh the most. Please continue!

[Fox in a Box]

1969664 Buck shit up? Oh no, Big Mac could never do that.

Wonder what an alicorn that doesn't talk is like. Oh, wait, shit, I'm writing it.

1969842 No reason demons can't engage in pleasant conversation. Or ladies. Either way, it is good.

Thanks for reading!

[CeresBane]

obvious discord is obvious...

only a discord fan would describe a demon as swoon worthy.

I think I've lost interest.

[Fox in a Box]

1971150 Definitely not a Discord fan, sir/madame, but thanks for reading

[CeresBane]

1971313

I'm cool with discord.

I just don't like the sucking of his giant hybrid cock.

[wec]

Big Mac should be freaked by some freakey little known special ability that only Alicorns possess.

Big Mac: Um.. pardon me yer Highness, but why are there little green fellas following us around? And how come only we can see them?

Celestia: Oh, those are just leprechauns. They're invisible to everypony except alicorns.

Big Mac: But why are they following...

Celestia: They're attention whores. And we're the only ones that can see them. Word to the wise - it is best to pretend they don't exist. It discourages them and prevents you from looking crazy to your subjects. Luna attempted to prove that they existed a little over 1000 years ago. It didn't end well.

Big Mac: And the small fellas in yellow with the big scoops?

Celestia: Gnomes. All Alicorn excrement consists of approximately 3.8% gold. The gnomes like to collect it in the hope of making money. They've never really figured out how to extract and purify the gold though. Their business model at present is: Collect Alicorn Crap -> ? -> Profit

Big Mac: And the tiny tap dancin purple fellas?

Celestia: Those really don't exist and are most likely a hallucination brought on by stress.

Big Mac: Ah see.....

[Fox in a Box]

1971665 Gee, being an alicorn is MUCH harder than I thought it would be!

[Lord Discord]

Outside his window, while he slept, a pair of unnatural eyes peered in. They drifted in the darkness disturbingly, appeared to smile radically into the room. They flitted there in the dark for a good while. Then, unsettlingly, a maniacal and ill-minded chortle bled through the thin window pane. The eyes dissipated, and a snake-like beast with wings and a dragon’s tail fled into the eerie blackness.

DISCORRRRD!!!!

1972236
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/348/331/8b0.jpg

[chief maximus]

>Big Mac
>Alicorn

You have my attention. Delightfully lighthearted so far! I require more Alimac

[Wildebeest]

For some reason, the demon bale of hay has the voice of Joe Pesci when I read his lines in my head.