Okay. Before I type the story. I'd like to thank all of you call f my loyal readers who believe in me. All of you who spent the time to read this. All of you who made me realise I'm not a failure. Thank you.
"Shit, shit, shit, shit...." You continually murmur under your breath. She has no idea where to go... you think frantically.
You slap a twenty dollar bill on the table and start for the door. You hear some guys in the corner talking about "that pink haired fag." Let's make this quick...
You simply walk over there, punch the guy who was talking in the nose, and walk out. No words, no facial expression, nothing. Pretty bad ass, right?
Anyways. You walk out and look left and right, trying to decide which direction to go. There's no telling where she went. You think, Right is right... So.. I'm gonna go left. No way the universe was gonna trick you like that.
You sprint to the left, looking around frantically for a splash of light pink. After a few minutes of this, you stop and head back. There's no way a timid girl like her would be frantically running around a city like this. But.. There was the forest!
You facepalmed. The forest was probably as close to home she had here. There was an entry to a large wooded area RIGHT. BEHIND. THE. ITALIAN. RESTRAUNT.
I'm an idiot!! you thought to yourself. You ran back to the restraint and bolt behind it, into the forest. "'SHY?!" You call out, worried.
After endless minutes of searching with no prevail, you sit down, leaning against a tree. Holding your head in your hands, you mentally curse yourself. I wanted to protect her.... Oh, what have I done?!
Suddenly, there's a light tap on your shoulder. "I apologise..." A little voice mumbles. You turn around and there she is. The beautiful girl with the pink hair. You smile and hug her.
"It's my fault... I apologise..." You whisper softly.
Nice! I hope to see more chapter updates from you! And also. . . this is a great story! Thanks for writing it! Have some spike!
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I haven't heard from you in ages! Welcome back! And your writing has improved drastically to boot! YES!
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Erm.. In other words.. Welcome back. I wait to edit with bated breath, but this chapter is actually pretty good, grammar-wise. Its rather short, but, whatever. They can't all be gems.
Lovely as ever.
Yeeehaw, keep at it Buddy!
2312620 I know it's short... I haven't had time to write, even when in the mood. I'm working on the next chapter, staying up late to write, I'm going to make it at least 1,000 words. So, the next chapter should be golden~
2311178>>2312166>>2312858 XD Thanks guise!
2314136 That's the problem I'm having with my story as well. . .I just don't have enough time to crank out a chapter every week. Now thanks to this new job I just got I'll bee sending out maybe 2 chapters a month(hopefully).
Don't worry we all have problems when it comes to writing, me i have the story and the time but have no motivation and am easily distracted. I'm loving this story, it has the right amount of dawww
Overall, pretty good. Could use some work, but pretty good.
1976218>>1976220 when I look at the layout of those comments, you seem totally indifferent towards which one we choose. (that was sarcastic/ironic, in case you hadn't noticed)
I usually don't read 2nd person fics but I'll give it a try.
~N
(PS: the source for the pic is wrong.)
Edit: I'll be following this.
Up until they tackle you and swat you around for a while for randomly punching them. This second person character doesn't strike me as very strong or intimidating.
2565774 Aye, I am aware. But from this, in my mind, she figured that since she became a human, humans were another form of ponies, therefore was surprised when they eat meat. She was being overly sensitive and figured that You were hiding something from her.
I apologise if this seemed stupid, and I also apologise for no updates.
2708570 I am aware, I apologise. I am a seventh grader, which explains the bag grammar. I've been meaning to go edit it all.
I apologise for no updates!
2565767 okay, thank you!! I'll add a bonus feature soon, on the learning how to walk bit. After I post the next chapter, of course.
I apologise for huge lack of updates!