When his friends screw up an experiment Miles finds himself in a place he had only ever dreamed was true. Now with the help of some unlikely friends he will try to make his way home. Or so he thinks...
Chapters (6)
Donner Texas
Joined 12th Jan, 2013 ·
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Aight...
1. This is a wall of text, and there are numerous places where you should break the paragraphs up, and
2. There are a few punctuation errors as well.
May I suggest you get a proofreader?
Also, you may want to have longer chapters.
Short chapters but an interesting story, I think I will enjoy this.
When I passed through moderation I was told I need to break up the text. I am definitely working on that for any future installments. I'm also in the process of finding a proof reader/editor. I needed to see if it was worth our time to put a lot of effort into finishing the project. I'll get to work on longer chapters and better format. Thanks for reading, and especially for giving a critique.
1953283 i like it allthough i agree that you have to break up the text.
look out, we're dealing with a new guy over here
image.spreadshirt.com/image-server/v1/designs/12091563,width=190,height=190/We-re-Dealing-with-a-Badass-Rage-Meme-T-shirt.png
That's a very nice iPhone screenshot you have for the cover.
Look everyone I got off my lazy ass and pulled a Ronald Raegan. Mr.Gorbachev I have torn down that wall. (I know that's backwards)
This story is very good so far, but I will agree with DaemoN67, the chapters do need to be longer