Chapter One
The colt lay spread out on his back in an open field. He stared at the open sky and sighed softly. It was a beautiful day, late spring, just heading into summer. Anypony else would have fallen asleep, taken a nice afternoon nap, but not him. He slowly reached a hoof towards the sky.
What is it like?
He closed one eye and lined up his hoof over one of the clouds in the sky. He folded his hoof around, almost as if was taking hold of the cloud. Being able to sleep without having to worry about what you see when you close your eyes.
He rolled onto his side. Looking at the sky was painful for him; until he fixed his device, it was just a reminder of the fact that he was incomplete. Even if he could sleep, it would only waste time.
He rolled over to his right side in order to get more comfortable. He knew that he looked silly just sprawled out on some grass near a stream, doing absolutely nothing, but he didn't care. In a swift motion, he brought up his right forehoof and slammed it down into the grass, hoping to vent his frustrations.
I need to fix this thing! I’ve tried everything, but I know it can’t be hopeless...maybe if I re-check those notes. His stomach let out a small growl all of a sudden. After I find food that is. He sighed, but even at rest he let his mind wander, thoughts kept circling around, his brain wouldn’t let him give in or give up on his one obsession.
He stared down the road, unwilling to put in the effort to resume his journey towards town. According to the map he borrowed, the town was named Ponyville. What kind of name is Ponyville? Of course, it’s going to be full of ponies!
As he stared lazily towards the horizon, a small figure started to take shape off in the distance. Is that-?
He squinted at the approaching form, trying to get a better look at it. Oh, great, it is. Two days without seeing another pony, and I run into one the moment I try to take a rest.
He let out a sigh as the figure came into focus. It was an alone filly with a coat and mane of wildly contrasting shades of orange and purple. Feather winced as he closed his eyes.
Maybe she won’t bother me if I ignore her.
He kept his eyes shut as long as he could, but a buzzing sound made him peek out at the approaching pony. Her wings were buzzing like a hummingbird’s, but she wasn’t flying. As she got closer, he realized that she wasn’t walking either. She was riding along on a little scooter, using her wings to propel her forward. What a waste of a perfectly good pair of wings. He let out another sigh as the filly noticed him and sped up, waving as she approached. He grunted and waited for the inevitable, for her to come and say what he knew she wanted to say, that dreaded word, hello. Great, just great!
She stopped just in front of his face, she looked down into his eyes just as he looked up into hers. For at least thirty seconds neither party felt like speaking. It was the longest thirty seconds of his young life, and for her, it just seemed awkward. She was busy studying him all over, but to her apparent disappointment, he wouldn't move.
Is she staring at me? Why isn't she with her parents? Oh, no! What if she is?! What if they’re following right behind her? I’ll be found! They were far too out of the way for most fillies and colts to be on their own, not that he was any different, but here she was by herself.
“Watch’a doin’?” The first word out of her mouth was not ‘hello’. This amused him slightly, but it’s not like it mattered anyway.
He glanced around. He was nervous, and more than a little angry. Your parents are gonna find me if you don’t leave!
“Not a talker, huh?”
He narrowed his eyes and tried his best to give her a menacing look, but it only succeeded in making her giggle. She stared into his copper-colored eyes while he glared back at hers. All he did was groan in annoyance.
I talk just fine! NOW LEAVE!
“Kind of funny running into another pony out here, it’s usually pretty empty. I use this field to practice my tricks, wanna see?” She stared at him with wide, hopeful eyes, apparently excited about having an audience. She was making it difficult for him to say that he did mind, not that he felt like talking.
The colt sighed. Not really, but do what you gotta do.
She tilted her head to the side, trying to see if anything was wrong with him. He looked healthy enough but seemed pretty rough around the edges. He was pretty dirty, too. You couldn’t tell from a distance, but it was clear from close up. The fedora-like hat nestled firmly between his ears was quite worn, but still in one piece. She also took note of his wings, or the one wing she could see; it was huge for his body size. She looked over at her wings to try and compare the two but then she heard a noise, a sort of rumbling. That sound was universal to every living creature, someone was hungry.
“Hungry?”
Great deduction skills. He sighed once more. She wasn’t that annoying, but why she was still around was beyond his problem-solving or social skills. She turned around, revealing a saddlebag that the colt hadn’t noticed. She started rummaging through it, sticking her tongue out in concentration. Now, what are you doing?!
After a little bit of digging, she stopped and glanced back at the colt. She looked back at her saddlebag with a sigh before removing a pair of apples. “Well, you seem pretty hungry, so here.” She dropped one of her apples down on the grass with a quiet thump. She looked away for a moment, towards the now setting sun. “Oh, shoot! I gotta go!”
She turned her scooter around and headed back the way she came, but he didn’t notice her leave. He was too busy looking at the apple sitting in front of him. The bright red skin shone in the setting sunlight and stood out against the green grass it was sitting in. Seeing it also reminded him how hungry he was, and his stomach let out a loud growl to attest to that. “Thank-” He lifted his head, but the filly was gone. “-you.”
He glanced back at the apple and poked it with a hoof. Why would she do that? His stomach growled again, this time accompanied by a none-too-subtle squeezing pain in his gut. It has been a while since I last ate. He spared one last look at the horizon to see if the filly would return, but there was no sign of her. She was gone, just as quickly as she had arrived.
He stood up and took a step towards the apple. Then he gave it a tentative sniff. It smells good. He let out a loud sigh and swallowed his pride. Then he ate the apple, barely taking the time to chew it before swallowing it in one gulp.
That was good. Really good.
He looked up. The sun was setting, it was time to leave, time to survey his new, if temporary, home. The first thing he would always do when entering alien territory was survey everything from a distance. He gathered up his saddlebag and made sure his device was tucked away so it couldn’t be noticed. He then started towards the town, following the path that the filly had taken. It took him a good twenty minutes to reach the edge of the settlement, raising the question as to just how fast that filly was. As the sun was setting, he noticed ponies leaving for their homes. Which was good, it meant his entry into the town would go mostly unnoticed against the crowds. Which was the great thing about small towns, very few ponies would stay out at night.
The first thing he came across was a large farm. If his map was accurate, the place was called Sweet Apple Acres, the town’s main feature. It was huge. Apple trees in every direction, they looked so inviting but he kept his distance. They weren’t wild, but there were far too many keep guards. He let out a sigh. He tried to avoid stealing, even if it was to feed himself, but that didn't change the fact that the act of theft was far more familiar to him than it had any business being.
Looking around, he found plenty of buildings just for this farm alone. A barn, it almost made him laugh, to him it just looked so out of place for a farm so large. If anything, there should be more than just one but it might prove useful if he needed a place to spend the night. That barn is pretty close to the house, should I risk it?
The house was big, with plenty of lights still on, it unnerved him. He quickly decided what he saw was enough and he should walk into town.
He followed the path into town. The sun had just set and the moon was now rising. Looking around, he noticed that the town was bigger than he originally gave it credit for. There were no ponies to be found. They must have turned in for the night. Around town, only a few houses still had lights on, the rest of them was pitch dark. “You’ve gotta appreciate a town that sticks to its bedtime.” It made him feel calm, knowing that there was nopony wandering about, other than himself. He could survey the town on his own time.
He looked ahead and decided to pick a building at random. In front of him, he spotted a building that looks like a tree.Tree-building? He read the sign for the library and just shrugged it off, everything in the town he was in was certainly more for the novelty of things. He figured this was a good enough start and slowly walked up to the front door of the library, frowning. Lights all over the place, it was like a trap, and whoever was inside clearly wasn’t asleep. It would probably be best to avoid this place for now.
His curiosity got the better of him, however, and he went around to the side of the building to find a window and peeked inside. Looking in he saw books, hundreds upon hundreds of books. No surprise there. A faint candle was lit, and the light was beaming from the second-story window. Looking up, he saw a glimpse of a lavender-colored unicorn. He couldn't see anything beyond that without drawing any attention, so he moved on. Looking around, he spotted a place called Sugarcube Corner.
A bakery?
He walked up to the front door and noticed two windows on either side, each laced with samples of confections and baked goods. Those look good, but it’s too risky to just up and buy anything tonight; plus it looks closed. He sighed and moved onto the next closest building.
Close to the bakery, he found a building with a sign out front dubbing the place Carousel Boutique. He normally did not mind anything looking too girly, but the entire structure screamed it. It was an elegantly styled building, but it was so overdone that it put the bakery to shame. He stole a glance inside and noticed the lights were off but dresses were sprawled out everywhere. It definitely seemed like a mess, but he shrugged it off. Seeing nothing of use, he sat down and began to ponder on his findings.
Shops, shops as far as his eye could see. He hated stores. “At least a bakery and a library are useful.” He looked over at one shop named, Quills and Sofas. That has got to be the most worthless shop I have ever come across! He looked over to another store that sold mechanical parts and hobby items. Well, that could be useful, I guess. But I would still need to deal with some adults. He grunted and moved on to the next one. This one sold party favors. Pointless, I can’t even find a grocery! But it wasn’t just what the stores were selling that put him on edge.
The very idea of a store would often force him to mess with his old foe, thievery. He had stolen things before, a lot of things. Every single item that was wrongfully taken would beat him down with more and more guilt. Every item he stole became easier to justify than the last. He was getting used to it over time, and that bothered him. Each pilfered trinket forced him to come to terms with the fact that he was a thief. He chose to leave the market district and hurry up and find the housing one.
He decided that the town he was in was at least slightly useful. The farm might have a use if he could find a way of sneaking into the barn unnoticed. The library would prove a good spot to continue research on his never-ending quest to finish his device. The bakery might be good for a sample, as small towns often give them out. It wasn’t usually considered a healthy food, but it was close enough, he decided. So far he concluded that this town was useful, but he would need to leave soon if he didn’t find some easy source of food.
He rounded a corner and stopped in his tracks as a door swung open on a nearby house. Without thinking, he darted into a nearby bush, hiding with ease due to his small size. Peeking out, he saw three ponies exiting the house. The first pony he saw was a tiny unicorn filly. The darkness made it difficult to discern any details, but she couldn’t be any older than he was. Her parents were both unicorns, again their details went unnoticed, but he could tell they were a family. He watched them as they chatted amongst themselves. They seem happy. One of the adults looked in the direction of his hiding place and he ducked down.
Did they spot me or something? He took another peek, and he sighed in relief to see that they were no longer looking his way. He still could not see much, but he did notice the largest one, the father he presumed, was walking into their yard to take care of a few issues. He remembered being younger and wanting to accompany his father all over the place, even the weirdest of places, and concluded that was probably what was going on. When the father returned, the filly surprised him by jumping up and giving him a long hug, nuzzling into his neck as she held onto it for support. The father returned it while the mother giggled.
Must feel nice. His mind raced as he watched the spectacle before him. Time seemed to slow but only for a moment. They seem like a happy family. Some light tears started to form in his eyes as he watched the two parents gently play with their daughter. No one seemed to mind that they were doing so in the doorway to their home.
He continued to stare, off in his own little world. He seemed to no longer care if he was caught or not, regardless of the consequences. You have no idea how lucky you are, filly. He found himself angry at the filly, angry at just how easy her life seemed to him. If I could just switch places, it would be simpler... He shuddered at the thought, and tried to push it out of his head. He couldn’t let himself get caught up in what could be, but he was never able to do a good job of that.
After what seemed like eons, the door slammed shut, leaving him alone with silence. He slowly walked out of the bush, looked around, and silently went off to explore the other houses. All of them looked to be quite average, and very out of place for the town. No novelty, no difference from one house to the next. Some had lights on while others were dark as the night, he was only vaguely aware of what he was searching for from the homes, his mind a tangled mess of emotions from that one family.
FOCUS! I need to find--
He stopped thinking as his eyes drifted to the one house that was different from the rest, a mansion. When his eyes locked onto the door, his brain kicked into overdrive. So much... He shook his head to clear his mind, he had to focus on his potential goal and not his desired one. Focus, don’t get greedy. It doesn't matter if they are rich, only steal when necessary. He closed his eyes as he thought this, desperately trying to keep to a personal code of his. But it still didn't stop him from snooping.
The mansion was three stories tall, it wasn’t the tallest building, but it spread out to cover an impressive amount of land. It was truly awe-inspiring, and for the second time that night, the child was wishing for a different life. He walked past an open gate and into the courtyard, carefully scanning around to make sure nopony was watching. He looked up to the topmost window and saw a light flicker, similar to the library, and he knew exactly what this meant. Another late-night reader, could complicate things.
He took one last look to make sure he would go unnoticed, and then rounded the corner of the house. Windows were always his ally in these endeavors, and he stole a glance into each and every one. Whoever owned this place was clearly loaded in his opinion, but he wasn’t looking at trinkets or treasures. No, he was looking for... The Pantry! He stared at it, trying to decide what was the best course of action to take.
"I’m sure I can last until tomorrow.” But he couldn't turn away, he just kept staring at it. “Maybe a little won’t hurt, just a little.” His final statement was said a bit more quickly than he would have liked, and he winced as the words left his mouth, but his mind was made up.
He quickly checked all the windows and found, to his disappointment, that none of them opened out, or would open at all.
That just leaves doors, if I can find any. He looked back at the pantry and craned his neck to try and get a better view inside. No doors that would lead outside, that just left... The front door. He grunted and sighed. Walking up to the front door, he couldn’t help but stop himself, much to the annoyance of his stomach. I mean, it's not like they’re gonna miss a little food, and just look at this place! He was still staring at the door, his breathing growing heavier, the promise of potential food fighting over his guilt.
He inspected the lock, trying to find the best way to pick it, not even bothering to take out his tools. Looking down at this saddle bag he sighed. I need food, just... He gritted his teeth and let out one big yawn. Am I that tired? Did somepony hear me?! He frantically looked around and then sighed in relief, then he decided to gently try and open the door. Have they never heard of a lock before?! Seriously, this is too easy. He then felt his blood run cold when he realized that he was enjoying his thieving job, but he shook those thoughts aside. He gently closed the door and took a look at his new surroundings. It was dark, but not enough that he couldn't navigate.
A nagging feeling kept tugging at the back of his mind the deeper he got into the mansion. You're trespassing, you're trespassing, you're trespassing! The front room alone was amazingly large, making a huge creaking sound when he both opened and shut it, not that he expected anything less from the elegant doorway he was forced to use. Almost woke everypony up with that stupid door! "Why does everything have to be so big?!" Looking around he spotted a table with an empty bowl laying on it, again even the simple table had a fancy design. Snobs with too much money. Somehow, though, insulting the ponies he intended to steal from made him feel lower than dirt.
He carefully walked past the table and into a hallway, using the windows that he was staring through before as a guide. The hallway leading to the kitchen seemed to last forever. Stop thinking about it! It's not that long, you're just acting paranoid! He shook his head as sweat began to slowly make its way down from his forehead, soaking into his hat. After what was only a minute, but seemed much longer, he found his way into the kitchen. He tensed up, looking around carefully. Okay, undetected so far, but do I really want to do this?! Somewhere deep down he felt like he was committing a crime; which, although technically true, he had always had more than enough reason to justify stealing. So why do I feel this way?! He gritted his teeth and moved towards the pantry, but froze when he heard the sound of hoofsteps. His ear twitched as he strained to listen.
Oh, no! Did I wake somepony?! They’re coming this way!
In a panic, he looked all over for anything to hide behind or in. His eyes landed on a cabinet and he ran over to it. He was surprised to find that it was empty and would fit him easily. He climbed in and shut the door, praying that whoever it was would not use that door. He peeked out for just a moment and saw a pink-colored filly. Through the darkness, he noticed she seemed to have a permanent scowl on her face, but he had to admit she looked okay for a filly. The hoofsteps stopped near the cupboard and his heart sank, his breathing stopped completely. There is nothing in here! The pantry is over there, oh please remember that this cupboard is empty! She slowly walked away and he heard the telltale sign of a pony rummaging through a pantry filled to the brim with food. He let out a very quiet sigh and began to breathe again. After the equivalent of five hours to his young mind, the filly left, leaving blissful silence.
He waited another five minutes just to be sure and left the safety of the cabinet. He took one long look at the hallway to make sure nopony else would want a midnight snack and sighed. The pantry was huge. Inside, every single snack he had ever heard of, eaten, or seen before was there, including a few that he had never heard of. Only what you need. He looked around and found a few basic snacks, some cracker boxes, and a few apples that were stored.
Each time he went to pick up an item he would wince, and the uneasy feeling that was hiding in the pit of his stomach would grow. It's just some stupid food! They won't miss it!” Deciding to get it over with, he grabbed everything he might need, including some cereal that seemed appealing, and shoved it all into his saddlebag. Each step he took back to the front door was that of anger, but he did his best to remain quiet. Just before he left, he turned his neck and noticed a family portrait hanging up on a nearby wall. He knew it was just a painting, but he didn't feel like looking into their eyes. Even though the three ponies were smiling, he couldn’t help but feel like they were watching him, judging him, criticizing him; and he couldn’t bring himself to meet their eyes. I’m sorry. The bitterness that this filly had so much and even a family was being entirely overshadowed by his guilt. He left the building in a hurry, hoping to find a place to stay that was at least warm.
I guess for now that barn will work. After all, I’ve already committed two crimes tonight. Might as well make it three.
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A few points in the prologue had me wondering if you simply overlooked a couple thoughts that should of been italicized.
The Scootaloo scene was nice, but it seemed to cutoff abruptly. Why go out to practice tricks if you know you won't have time for even one? I suppose it can be chalked up to being young and being lost in her fun of flying through across the land on her scooter. Still, it felt like it was just barely a two minute interaction there. Might want to touch up that scene because it feels contradictory to her going there in the first place and leaves the taste of "Just to have them meet" sort of feel. Two ponies who can't fly for two various reasons.
Otherwise, decent story so far. I'll edit this as I finish reading the rest of the story. This however I felt was a pinch jarring, to me at least. Love the art in the prologue.
it
This is my second read through of this story because I wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything and I just realized that Feather Steel only has one wing... at least that's how I'm reading it.... If that is an intended part of this story I would add that detail to the prologue if it isn't already there... or make it clearer if its not intended in this story.... that is all I've noticed really... Great story so far! How often will you be adding chapters? I'm absolutely hooked with the storyline! Reply Please!
It seems that knowledge has made him cynical.
Haven't seen these kind of things for a while.
What does cynical mean
5997955 Google it.
5999110 at the very beginning, the "What", the T is not italic as the rest of the sentence is.
You know, i've only read this once- I Only come back to this story when it updates, but now... i think i shall re-read it ... for the hell of it... maybe one day it shall be finished... until then though... i shall wait for this masterpiece.
2986681
I wanted to show these things, not tell. It is mentioned in later chapters.
2986681
Ya, it's in the party scene. You silly filly.
2976663
The cut off is intentional. She's a filly and doesn't always plan stuff perfectly and can forget things. I know it seems like an excuse for them to just meet, but it was intentional.