• Member Since 4th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen August 1st

Squarks


E

Twilight lifts a pebble with her magic. Really, that's pretty much it. I just wanted to see if I could do a whole story based on a 1-second action.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 19 )

Oh I get it! The conflict is that she needs to lift the pebble, and the pebble is the antagonist.

I just wanted to see if I could do a whole story based on a 1-second action

WELL DON'T WORRY, YOU CAN!

JUST LOOK AT ALL THE OTHER FICS OF "X DOES Y," THEY TURNED OUT PRETTY SUCCESSFUL

Hue

My Little Dashie, Past Sins, Background Pony.... All of these are meaningless now. This is true art! :raritydespair:

I am in awe of this story and it's ability to so greatly detail lifting a pebble.

neds moer clop :rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

Comment posted by Pestilence the First deleted Jan 15th, 2013

Every millimeter became a mile as she started to find the particles that made up the pebble. Tiny, insignificant flecks jumped out at her as if they were mountains. Fragments of quartz became towering monoliths of opaque crystal. Specs of life clung to the peaks and ridges, creatures that seemed almost impossibly small. The jagged surface was now everything, larger than she could possibly imagine. Equestria was a tiny village compared to the scope and grandeur of her pebble.

This one part maintained a smile on my face as I thoroughly read through this one paragraph. The details fed my artistic hunger like a lion with fresh meat.

Even though this is just one scene about how Twilight is just lifting a rock with her telekinesis, this one is extremely detailed and would make an excellent chapter opener, in my case.

I like pebbles. Thumbs up :pinkiehappy:

I'd say mission accomplished! For both you and Twilight!

Is this story a literary masterpiece? Nah.
Will it change the way I view the world for the rest of my life, now filtered through the themes emulated in this piece of fiction? Not really.
What this story is, however, is an interesting little experiment in purple prose (no pun intended) that demonstrates the power of words and why really famous fiction has lots of them. This needs to go in an English book somewhere, or a writing tutorial, or SOMETHING! Too many times I read a story with a plot one thousand times more exciting than Main Character Does Something Insignificant :twilightblush: and it sucks because there are no words!
Pointless dialogue! Bland characterization! NO characterization! Plot moves too fast, plot is disjointed, plot fell in a ditch somewhere and DIED! :flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:
Think about it for a second! You managed to not only get me to read your story, but leave a long, wordy comment praising youthat has taken me almost a full five minutes to type. THAT is the definition of QUALITY LITERATURE. If I could leave you a million Spikestaches, I would, but I don't need to because just one is enough to convey just how proud I am to have read this.
YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD.
:moustache:

1963759196377919638621963927196426619644081964763

Thank you all for your kind words! Although I'm pretty sure Scootaloser and Mr Pones were being sarcastic :rainbowlaugh:

1965036
Less then you might think. You really did display a lot of writing skill as far as description and setting a mood are concerned. You actually used artistic talent in a unique and interesting (well, as interesting as lifting a pebble can be :ajbemused: ) way. Now all you have to do is come up with an exciting and original story idea and you could be quite successful. :scootangel:

That was really good seriously.:pinkiehappy:

Huh. So, [SPOILER ALERT] Twilight lifts a pebble. [/SPOILER ALERT] Kewl. :twistnerd:

Seriously though, I enjoyed this for a number of reasons, as it reminded me of something a friend said to me in middle school about how a skilled writer can make even a subject as ordinary as a blade of grass seem interesting. She later went on to become a published author, probably writing about things a little more controversial by now, one would assume.

Also made me think of the Slow Mo Guys on YouTube.

I know this was, in your own words, a story about nothing, but I liked it so A+++ WOULD READ AGAIN LOL.

*thumbs up*

1965036 Yessum, ah wuz...

Very well written. Is Twilight a foal in this fic?

1966491
Nope, adult. Trying out a new form of magic.

I admire you for writing an entire story about lifting a pebble. You are the best author for that.:twilightsmile:

I don't know what else I was expecting, really. :twilightblush: Must admit my mind wandered a bit towards the end; I know this was a writing exercise, but I still found the method Twi used interesting for about 500 words until it started to drag. Bravo for making it work, though!

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