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Comet takes his job too seriously. Angel doesn't take anything seriously.
Comet joined to protect kingdom and princess(es). Angel joined for adventure and danger.
Comet isn't interested in mares. Angel can't stop talking about stallions.
Comet is a pegasus. Angel is a bat pony.
Together, this unlikely duo goes through life as Royal Guards from basic training to fully fledged guardsponies. Who knows? Maybe they'll even start to get along.
Cover art by slawomiro.
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Is he gay or somthing can
You sir have intrigued me I shall be following you. Cheerio!
1987425
No, my OC is not gay. He takes his job too seriously and has no interest in finding a special mare at this time.
1987427
Glad you like it!
Sry if I said somthing wrong
1987444
It's okay.
I was going to clarify that as the story went on.
Wow you just got me sad and shit lol I give you
Pupils expand when interest is piqued, a retracting pupil is characteristic of shock, horror, or repulsion on the part of the wearer, usually manifesting in a strong desire to get out of a situation.
Other than that, I liked your start, and hope for good things from this fiction.
I'm interested, do continue
I'm still reading through the story, but I just want to say that, while it is interesting, it does have one very annoying formatting problem
Whenever a new character speaks, there should be a new paragraph, because itherwise you end up with blobs of text where it's hard to know who's speaking at times.
Tiny comment; I really like this story, but its kind of hard to read. Here's a tip; a new paragraph starts every time a new character starts to speak. Sorry, Sometimes I can't control the Grammar Nazi
Also, Angelbeats reference! You, sir, win a free mustache.
1987664>>1987855
I have altered the story to where a new paragraph starts when the characters talk. I'm a grammar nazi too, but I seem to have forgotten the basic talking rule.
Thank you for correcting that!
i like your OC despite what others say
p.s. maybe you can read my story called my day in ponyville
This is good, I like and watch
I have a weird feeling that he is going to be infatuated with her
1987975 It's very bad form to advertise your own stories in the comments section of someone else's story, just so you know.
This chapter has earned a like, we'll see about earning a fav or watch in the training now won't we
wait wait wait hold up, so its practically forbidden to have any prior romantic attachment before joining but during and or after signing up boring recruiting officer practically says go for it... can someone clarify please is he just needling him or does tia just want to see how guards can get dates without moving or speaking
1988433
That is a contradiction, but there is a reason he basically turns around what he's saying. Angel laughs at the guard when he states that rule, thus leading to him figuring out it's a joke. Also, the rule is no recruits have prior relationships with each other to avoid "compromising situations" like sharing a bed or stuff like that. The guard also knew Comet would not accept him having a small attraction to Angel, thus using reverse psychology to make him resist being attracted to her.
All in all, it's a rule for recruits, but not the guards themselves, as I was also going to explain later.
1988462
Oh good I thought the guard was practising double standards instead its just another obviously good natured guard with completely pure intentions looking to uphold the rule by suggesting Comet chase after Angel in response to her overt flirtation, good job random guard that will help with the situation
and on a more serious note this is without a doubt worth reading later, earned the fave
1988548
The road to bad things is paved with good intentions.
I like the OCs, lets see where this goes
Just saying, you left Shining Armor's tail on the cover pic
Welcome
Let's see how this goes.
So far Angel pisses me to no end, and Comet has my deepest sympathy, even if he allows Angel to treat him like a chew toy.
Again, let's see how it goes.
Cheers.
I love bat ponies, they're so sexy.
Oh God, after seeing this picture I've been waiting for this
I'm not entirely a huge fan of pony oc's, but this is one of those rare occasions where I absolutely adore them. And not only that, you're using a bat pony, I LOVE bat ponies. Sad that we haven't seen anymore of them since the Luna Eclipsed episode.
But anywho, Faved, looking forward to how this story progresses.
and here, have a stache for good measure.
I predict great shenanigans, awkwardness, and clumsy attempts at romance. I also predict I shall squee like a fangirl throughout it all.
Which in itself is odd, as I usually prefer Stallion/Stallion romance.
"Angel Beats"..... i see what you did there.... bravo and good choice
1987975 mlkshk.com/r/6XXK
Just stop
Simply amazing. I will continue to look into this story in the future.
Keep at it.
This story has potential I tell ya! Keep at it
ops I think is it the equestria prevails OC
THEY FIGHT CRIME
Couldn't resist, sorry.
The writing was more than adequate and fun, can't wait for more.
Bad Cop and Good Cop
Walking in on the wrong class then grtting beat up by a mare in front of said wrong class poor guy
Hmm, this was...rather short.
Heh maybe tommorow he will learn what to do to if you startle a bat pony. And quick question did you pre write this part or are you just a shockingly fast writer
Comet has to meet twilight!
Nice timing therer Comet, must have been 40 minutes tops since I favorited it and already I get another chapter.
Your grammar is still a little funky. When leading out of a quotation, such as ("It's none of your business." he stated...), the period after business should be a comma. It's just a grammar rule about punctuation inside quotations. The way you use question marks and exclamation points is fine, though.
"It's none of your business." he stated. WRONG
"It's none of your business," he stated. RIGHT
"It's none of your business!" he stated. ALSO RIGHT
Also, when leading into a quotation, like in (Comet rolled his eyes and said "We're not a tour group."), put another comma after said and before the quotation mark.
Comet rolled his eyes and said "We're not a tour group." WRONG
Comet rolled his eyes and said, "We're not a tour group." RIGHT
Otherwise, this is a fun story! Keep it up!
1992360 but she's ADORABLE
1992330
Eh heh, the publish and edit buttons are pretty close, so I accidently published it while I was editing it.
Oh well, enjoy it though!
I will also edit my quotations too. Thank you for pointing that out!
It seems to me that you consistently say comet "Doesn't like mares" and then negate your own point! So, what is it?
Daww. They are so cute together.
1992402 She's annoying XD
No, Angel is a rabbit, dummy.
Very good fun, but I did notice one typo:
"Where I come from, doctors lick wounds to steralize them so they don't get infected."
Serilize
1992533